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Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/20 - 5/26
Posted by Unfreakable at 2012-05-28 7:03:03 PM, edited 2012-05-29 1:30:02 AM (16 comments) | Permalink
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2028 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2012 at 10:38 AM (2 years ago) | | share: more»
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Nothing to add this week. Happy Memorial Day, everybody. Hope today has been great for you.
Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-05-20 to Sat 2012-05-26:
New Afghan terror group called Mulla Dadullah Front emerges that is said to be worse than the Taliban. Expect even worse group to follow: Mulla Mulla Dadullah, Banana fana fo-fulla. Fee-fi mo-mulla
Three men caught stripping stolen car. I never understood autoerotica
Boy spends eight hours stuck between waterfalls. He should have stuck to the rivers and the lakes that he is used to
The inventor of the TV remote control has passed away. His body was discovered after several weeks, buried between the couch cushions
Ancient 'cursing stone' found in Scotland associated with early Christianity and golf
Nearly 1 in 4 teens have diabetes, awesome lunches
Arctic rivers add toxic mercury to the Arctic Ocean. This sounds like something that came from Hg wells
ᴛᴇʟᴇɢʀᴀᴘʜ ʀoᴀᴅ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴍᴀɴ ʀᴜɴs sᴛᴏᴘ cᴀʀ wᴏɴ'ᴛ sᴛᴏᴘ
Brazilian airline shaves a passenger from its flight, leaves him on the landing strip
Dutch twin prostitutes, 69, serve as a harsh lesson on why you finish reading a headline before clicking
Body found floating in Nova Scotia river stuffed in hockey bag. If this story was any more Canadian, it would be leaking maple syrup
"Why Do We Hate LeBron James?" That has a nice ring to it... figuratively, not literally
Michael Vick and his fiancée announce wedding date. Couple now registered at Macy's, Bloomingdales, PetSmart
NFL to require knee pads for players, and ESPN when they're around Tom Brady
Woman shows off the first brain-controlled robotic arm. Researchers can't attach the arm to men yet until they've had time to either remove all porn from the internet or really strengthen that shoulder joint
Gamestop Expo opens to the general public. Consists of used booths from other gaming conferences
London Police now using mobile fingerprint scanners to help identify suspects after deciding that dental records were about as effective as using DNA information in Tennessee
A&E cancels "Dog the Bounty Hunter" after eight seasons, or 56 in human years
Childrens' Art Festival expected to draw hundreds of people. Mostly with stick bodies, big heads and scribble hair
Jenna Jameson blew a high number; also: gets DUI
Members of Congress now have the vocabulary of 10th-graders, down a grade from five years ago, and before that Daniel Patrick Moynihan kept throwing off the curve
Walker supported by governor. Meanwhile, Carl still won't stay in the house, Daryl is still a badass, and T-Dog doesn't have a lot to say
The candidate, from a Dakota state who vowed to advocate, claims no time to allocate, can't seem to delegate, won't abdicate, so the opposition will nominate someone they hope can legislate
Data may shed light on healthcare trends, if he can ever defeat Moriarty on the holodeck
Euro downgraded from "Sinbad" to "Carrot Top"
Tiffany profits fall short of expectations. Debbie Gibson remains strong
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