WD-40 (or other aerosol can) and a lighter - works wonders and is fun at the same time.

flick them with a rolled up The Economist. If that doesn't do the trick, don't worry, it'll die after hitting the same window for 4 hrs straight.

As my friends mom used to say:

CLOSE THE GODDAMN DOOR!!!

I can be a bit of a slob, but I don't attract insects..

You may need to do a spring cleaning...

Flypaper from your local hardware store, and this is a good excuse to clean the house thoroughly.

Give your house to a homeless man who won't biatch about the flys and dedicate your life to the service of others. Preferable those with actual problems.

If you have pets, search EVERY SINGLE CORNER of your house for fecal matter. Remove it, and clean the area thoroughly. Change the litter box if you have cats. Remove any and ALL trash in your house, from every room, flies feast on your garbage. Wipe down your counters, do your dishes, and then get fly strips to kill any and all survivors.

Mossberg 500.
At least, until you blow holes in the outer walls. Then you're screwed.

P-Money All $tar: As my friends mom used to say:

CLOSE THE GODDAMN DOOR!!!

I can be a bit of a slob, but I don't attract insects..

You may need to do a spring cleaning...

Or just get a frog

Aqua Net and a Lighter Works very well.

I only shiat outside in the yard during fly season. They seem to like to staying outdoors.

Barring that... fly strips (the super sticky kind) near the door we usually go in/out of seems to help.

Get rid of the 14 cats you are hoarding

From the Tips and Warnings section of TFA:

"Don't try shooting midgies, the nibble it off."

???

There's always zombie Pat Morita

Introduce lizards; they'll decimate the fly population. Then, to control the lizard population, simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. After that add a type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat, and when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

Cross your legs.

That sounds like it would make a horrible mess.

I used flypaper, until I got a cat.

TravisBickle62: Get rid of the 14 cats you are hoarding

This is stupid.

I have only one cat. Whenever a fly enters my flat it has about 2 minutes to live until my cat catches it.

"Summer's Eve"

ultraholland: Introduce lizards; they'll decimate the fly population. Then, to control the lizard population, simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. After that add a type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat, and when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

I like your circle of life reasoning

A paper cone in a big glass with a bit of beer in the bottom works magic on fruitflies, not sure how it would do for bigger flies.

All you need is a big glass, some paper, some scotch tape, and something that smells irresistible to flies.

One hole in a screen + litterbox = flies in the house in less than a week. Especially if you use a natural litter like we do. Learned that tidbit last summer.

Build your own flytrap. Get a jar or bottle, put a centimeter of juice or sugar water in the bottom, and roll a peice of paper into a cone. Cut just enough off the tip of the cone to let a fly squeeze through. Invert the cone in the jar and tape thoroughly in place.

Works for fruit flies, too; just cut a smaller hole and use basalmic vinegar.

"Quick, Henry, the FLIT.

Used to spray with a thing called a flit gun
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flit

ZAZ: Find out what they are breeding in. Remove it. House fly larvae especially like bacteria-laden wet substances (e.g. feces).

If it's a sudden thing, it's probably a mouse or rat died in the wall. Trust me, a single one can produce hundreds and hundreds of flies. They escape through gaps around the plumbing flanges or wherever, it'd be hard to stop them.

It's a self-limiting problem. In fact the flies keep it from getting really smelly for a long time. They'll only keep respawning for a few days.



The Electric Fly Swatter at Harbor Freight Tools is a blast, though. I mean literally. You hit one in the air and it makes a bang. Then you hear this residual "BZZZZzzzzzzzzzz winding down as it spirals to the ground with most of its body disabled.

You can also just lay it across a fly on the wall or curtains or window. They usually don't flee from that, so it's easy to nail them, and they don't leave a "splat" on the wall. Also you can't effectively swat flies on curtains anyways.

Cheap, too. On sale for $4 right now. The batteries in it will cost more than the racket.

I also recommend tiny condoms to keep the population down.

Or invite Gina Davis over and give her a shotgun.

Incoming cool story bro:

Two weeks ago; I came home after a long day at work; only to discover 20 moths in my house. I got out the fly swatter and went to town. After disposing of the bodied; I went to sleep. Fast forward to the next afternoon; I came home and discovered 25 moths. I killed them all. The next day; same thing. The fourth day I said, and I quote, "I am sick and farking tired of these motherfarking moths in this motherfarking house." This seems to have scared the moths away.

Thus endith the cool story bro

/ moth free for 8 days and counting

// That is all

Ishkur: ultraholland: Introduce lizards; they'll decimate the fly population. Then, to control the lizard population, simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. After that add a type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat, and when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

But you gotta remove the dead gorillas after, otherwise they'll attract flies.

/circle
//complete

That's what the Komodo Dragons are for

THIS

Here's what you need:

Empty plastic bottle with straight sides

Scissors or X-acto knife

syrup

strong tape

trim off the couple of inches from the top and a bit more than that from bottom of the bottle, try to make these cuts as parallel to each other as possible. Get rid of the middle.

Pour some syrup in the bottom, then place in the top inverted into the bottom, secure with tape. Make sure the syrup comes within 1/8th to 1/4th of an inch of the mouth of the bottle. (Adjust this so it's not quite as much as the girth of your flies.

Flies will fly in to get at the syrup, but will get stuck because they crawl under the lip and get syrup on their wings. Fly dies and sinks in the syrup.

And clean up your damn place.

traylor: TravisBickle62: Get rid of the 14 cats you are hoarding

This is stupid.

I have only one cat. Whenever a fly enters my flat it has about 2 minutes to live until my cat catches it.

What if she is hoarding dead cats? Ever think of that, smart guy?

iheartscotch: Two weeks ago; I came home after a long day at work; only to discover 20 moths in my house.

I hope they didn't tip off that pesky FBI agent.

If they are the baby fruit flies, they are breeding in your sink drain or garbage disposal. Put some watermelon or other fruit on a plate, wait one hour, then slowly stalk up on your prey with Lysol or Windex and PEW PEW PEW them. They will be immobile and you can properly destroy them. Toss fruit, repeat as necessary. May not be the most effective way, but it's very satisfying.

Also take the two-liter plastic jug mentioned above and cut off the top, then stick the top upside-down back in the bottle. This creates a slightly better trap. Fruit, red wine or possibly vinegar works.