Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark)   I'm thinking of using a non-sequitor to greet various people. I was thinking something like "Brother" or "Boss". Maybe "Man". What non-sequitors do you use or have used on you?   ( fark.com) divider line
    More: Survey  
•       •       •

2884 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 May 2012 at 8:58 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



377 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2012-05-28 12:40:30 AM  
ItchyBrother


My all time favorite is George Carlin's "Hey, Skeezix!".

weird, my grandma had a dog named Skeezix.
 
2012-05-28 12:51:46 AM  
Widey McThickster
 
2012-05-28 12:55:55 AM  
If I'm looking to pick a fight ... Hey, Scooter!

If it's a pal .... hey, bubba

If it's your Mom .... Well, hi there, Linda
 
2012-05-28 01:00:39 AM  
Boy or sugartits depending on how close to a broad you are
 
2012-05-28 01:02:15 AM  
Caucazoid and negroid, my world is pretty black and white
 
2012-05-28 01:02:25 AM  
Sir
Dinkus
Essay
G-Dawg
G-Money
Homeslice
JimJam
My Brother (spoken in the whitest way possible)
Bro
Brah
Brue
Bro-ham
Geezer, or just Geez
Babe
Sweetie
Sugar
Sweetness
Compadre
Amigo
Pardnuh
Dawg
Chief
Slick
Speedy
Sparky
Champ
Honcho
Groovy-tunes
and so many others.

But if I don't really like you I will just call you by your name.
 
2012-05-28 01:07:36 AM  
Scoopy
Bud
Hoss
 
2012-05-28 01:09:13 AM  
Let's see, what kind of non-sequiturs have I used. Well, I went to the store today.
 
2012-05-28 01:12:32 AM  
"Jackfruit"
 
2012-05-28 01:19:23 AM  

burber: Buddy, friend, guy


Where is dudemanbro?
 
2012-05-28 01:27:01 AM  

Abox: Let's see, what kind of non-sequiturs have I used. Well, I went to the store today.


But did you ever stop to wonder, why a duck?
 
NFD
2012-05-28 01:36:11 AM  
I'm thinking someone should cue up the image of Herman Schiller throwing himself from a building now.

/spike lee.
//get it?
 
2012-05-28 01:39:42 AM  
Gut Cassidy & The Sundance Cheeseburger.

Motherlicker.
 
2012-05-28 01:52:19 AM  

scalpod: Abox: Let's see, what kind of non-sequiturs have I used. Well, I went to the store today.

But did you ever stop to wonder, why a duck?



That, and it's too slow
 
2012-05-28 01:55:20 AM  
At first I was all, inigomontoya.jpg because calling somebody "hoss" isn't a non sequitur. But then I was like, philosoraptor.jpg. What's the word for that? Is it a salutation despite not being in a letter? Do you have to call it a "term of address?" Because that's cumbersome as fark.

/DNRTFT
//don't care enough to do that
///just thought you guys would want to know
 
2012-05-28 02:03:27 AM  
Doll face or Roscoe
 
2012-05-28 02:07:44 AM  

ToxicMunkee: I still use "dude". I can't stop myself. God I hate the 80s.


Don't call me dude (obscure?)
 
2012-05-28 02:34:18 AM  
Money.
 
2012-05-28 02:40:43 AM  

FuturePastNow: I want to answer the phone "ahoy-hoy" like Mr. Burns, but I keep forgetting to.


That was how Thomas Edison suggested telephones be answered as they first became widely available.
 
2012-05-28 02:51:56 AM  
I don't use stupid greetings for women. A friend of mine from high school called all of our female friends "sugar britches" and I thought it was rather disrespectful. I don't even take chances with "sweetie," "honey," "baby," etc. unless they do it to me first and I actually know them pretty well /end internet white knight

For my male friends, "dude" is pretty standard, but lately I've been partial to "big slick" or occasionally "sparky" (especially for a particularly non-sparky sort of guy). I have one friend who I always greet with "Hey, there he is... the straw that stirs the drink," which he loves.
 
2012-05-28 02:59:35 AM  

Curse of the Goth Kids: At first I was all, inigomontoya.jpg because calling somebody "hoss" isn't a non sequitur. But then I was like, philosoraptor.jpg. What's the word for that? Is it a salutation despite not being in a letter? Do you have to call it a "term of address?" Because that's cumbersome as fark.

/DNRTFT
//don't care enough to do that
///just thought you guys would want to know


Yeah I don't know the word for that either... I was thinking "sobriquet," but that seems inexact. Not as inexact as "non sequitur," but....
 
2012-05-28 03:35:54 AM  
Peanut, Pumpkin, Tickles, Loreen, G-Fresh, Dougal, Gustav, Hu-Monn.
 
2012-05-28 03:36:35 AM  

pete1729: FuturePastNow: I want to answer the phone "ahoy-hoy" like Mr. Burns, but I keep forgetting to.

That was how Thomas Edison suggested telephones be answered as they first became widely available.


It's how I answer the phone all the damn time.
 
2012-05-28 03:43:03 AM  
My friends call me "Ken".

I used to be called "Big Sexy" when I'm working the nightclubs, then I became a dad. Now I'm "Big Daddy". Apparently dads aren't sexy.

:(
 
2012-05-28 03:44:26 AM  
Brobocop and Blacky Chan.
 
2012-05-28 04:31:41 AM  

apoptotic: I still call my brother "kid" or "kiddo". He's 36.


People call me "kid" and "kiddo" all the time. I'm a 50-year-old woman.
 
2012-05-28 04:52:15 AM  
I prefer:

eyup pet!
 
2012-05-28 04:52:59 AM  
'word'

(or, to the highly educated, 'werbum')
 
2012-05-28 05:12:25 AM  

rotsky: I'm not racist, but I always find myself calling black people "man". I can't NOT do it. It's weird.


It's not racist, per se, nor is it all that weird. But at the end of the day you are still treating black people differently in a way that can be perceived as talking down to them. One of my good friends in school was a black fella and it was amusing to see people give 'normal' greetings to everyone else in the crowd and then give my buddy a nice soulful 'what's up man?' with a bro handshake, like they were kickin' it on the corner or whatever.
 
2012-05-28 05:21:31 AM  
Cisco... like the kid.
 
2012-05-28 05:50:03 AM  
Non of these are non sequiturs. They are generic monikers. A non sequitur is the use of events or things out of sequence or with seemingly no sequence for comedic effect.
 
2012-05-28 05:57:14 AM  
To truly greet with a non sequitur; think along the lines of "and that's the most I ever threw up" or " I broke my hand on a coconut, I didn't even care"
 
2012-05-28 06:05:28 AM  
If it wasn't for my horse I wouldnt have spent that year in college.
 
2012-05-28 07:26:04 AM  

Curse of the Goth Kids: At first I was all, inigomontoya.jpg because calling somebody "hoss" isn't a non sequitur. But then I was like, philosoraptor.jpg. What's the word for that? Is it a salutation despite not being in a letter? Do you have to call it a "term of address?" Because that's cumbersome as fark.

/DNRTFT
//don't care enough to do that
///just thought you guys would want to know


i was thinking subby meant nomenclature
 
2012-05-28 08:02:25 AM  

Flash314: Everything starts with "According to prophecy" and ends with "And that's the Gospel"


I am so gonna use that.

/especially on my evangelical christian relatives.
 
2012-05-28 08:36:01 AM  
Sweetie and dude are my 2 favorites.
 
2012-05-28 08:43:08 AM  
Sugar-wookiee
Big-sexy
 
2012-05-28 08:55:12 AM  

monty666: Try using a dictionary Wonderperson

/it's spelled non-sequitur

//the more you know...


Link. SFW
 
2012-05-28 08:56:01 AM  
Potato
 
2012-05-28 08:58:57 AM  

Anagrammer: Note: Try to avoid calling anyone "Boss", unless they're your actual boss. Referring to people as "Boss" who aren't your boss basically tells people that you've spent time in a Texas prison.


I didn't know so many NYers spent time in a Texas prison. Younger latinos love saying "boss" here if you are their customer.
 
2012-05-28 09:00:56 AM  
I never used non-sequiters in college. well. if I did I never fully inhaled.
 
2012-05-28 09:11:56 AM  
I currently use: Brother, Bossman, Chief, and Captain to address my male and female cohorts :)
/Also trying to bring back "Rats" and "cool beans".
 
2012-05-28 09:16:00 AM  
Chief, Commander, or Skillet for the guys...

Darlin' or Buttercup for the ladies.
 
2012-05-28 09:17:24 AM  
Homeowner
 
2012-05-28 09:59:02 AM  
I like to use the indefinite article. As in: "A man would like to speak to a chode."

Also, chode, buddy, and buy.

/Maritimes!
 
2012-05-28 09:59:51 AM  
My grandfather was notorious for not being able to remember people's names. He could barely remember the names of his family members (he was not senile or anything, he was just really bad with names). I realized a long time ago that I had the same problem. He solved it by calling everyone neighbor. He did it for so long that it became his nickname. Everyone called him Neighbor and that's what he called everyone else. I don't have anything clever that I call people. A lot of times I use sir but not often enough to make it a habit.
 
2012-05-28 10:19:30 AM  
I started assessing people as "dude" ironically and now I can't stop. Except my friend Steve whom I address as "nubian". I don't know why, he's such a honky.
 
2012-05-28 10:40:23 AM  

ModernLuddite: Steve. I call everyone Steve. It confuses the fark out of people, but I think it's hillarious. And self-amusement is the best kind of amusement.


I had a distant cousin who called everyone, absolutely everyone, "Max". He was a big hit at my bar mitzvah.
 
2012-05-28 10:53:38 AM  
Surely
 
2012-05-28 10:58:31 AM  
Boy
 
Displayed 50 of 377 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report