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(Fark)   I'm thinking of using a non-sequitor to greet various people. I was thinking something like "Brother" or "Boss". Maybe "Man". What non-sequitors do you use or have used on you?   (fark.com ) divider line
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2879 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 May 2012 at 8:58 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-27 10:51:47 PM  
Slick
Ass Rag
Knucklehead
My Friend

I once worked with a guy who called literally everyone Dickweed.
 
2012-05-27 10:52:10 PM  
This thread is so full of derp!

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/non%20sequitur

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/non+sequitur

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/non+sequitur+?s=t
 
2012-05-27 10:52:40 PM  

dstrick44: Slick
Ass Rag
Knucklehead
My Friend

I once worked with a guy who called literally everyone Dickweed.


I'm guessing he was the boss, because I'm not sure how long he'd have held the job otherwise?
 
2012-05-27 10:54:38 PM  

moviemarketing: Informal greetings are not non sequiturs.

Subby doesn't seem to understand the correct meaning of this term.


And yet we all have understood exactly what he meant and have played along nicely. Singer did not invent the sewing machine. Dick.
 
2012-05-27 10:54:56 PM  

Shostie: I... don't think calling someone "boss" or "man" or "brother" is a non sequitur.


Well if you call a woman who isn't your boss, any of the three is could be considered a non sequitur.
 
2012-05-27 10:56:29 PM  
"English, motherfarker, do you speak it?"
 
2012-05-27 10:56:59 PM  
Group or singular: Y'all, folks, fellas
Group of ladies: Chicks, gals
Kids: Little Buddy, bud

Guys: Dude, bro, man, amigo, hoss
Girls, honey, hun, or sweetheart

Also sir and ma'am pop up on occasion, people in England think I'm "taking the piss" when I use it sadly. Manners are dead.

P.S.
Chuckleheaded farktard makes a great insult.
 
2012-05-27 10:57:07 PM  
The douchebag brogrammers at my job have been using "dooder" lately.
 
2012-05-27 10:57:11 PM  
Friendo.

Then I give the the pneumatic bolt to the forehead and watch them die.

/doesn't have many long term friends
 
2012-05-27 10:58:45 PM  

felching pen: moviemarketing: Informal greetings are not non sequiturs.

Subby doesn't seem to understand the correct meaning of this term.

And yet we all have understood exactly what he meant and have played along nicely. Singer did not invent the sewing machine. Dick.


you don't know Dick,do you?

/you gotta a pencil,Dick?
 
2012-05-27 11:01:16 PM  

felching pen: moviemarketing: Informal greetings are not non sequiturs.

Subby doesn't seem to understand the correct meaning of this term.

And yet we all have understood exactly what he meant and have played along nicely. Singer did not invent the sewing machine. Dick.


This post is a non sequitur
 
2012-05-27 11:03:01 PM  
In today's America, "asshole"
 
2012-05-27 11:04:43 PM  
"Cap" or "Captain". Women get "Whore" exclusively.
 
2012-05-27 11:04:59 PM  
'Old Boy', 'Old Bean', or 'whazzup, artichoke?'

/Did you know that a non sequitur is a thinly disguised veil of deer chili climbing frozen waterfalls in =cosmic proportions squirrel dance moon saber?
 
2012-05-27 11:05:17 PM  
Man, woman, household pet... I call them all babycakes.
 
2012-05-27 11:07:30 PM  
in college i called people 'pimp,' now i've gone old school and called people 'vato,' 'ese,' and 'holmes.'
 
2012-05-27 11:08:36 PM  

theorellior: "Sparky" is good. "Old Bean" or "Old Shoe" gives you some of the Olde Englande feel. My father has a whole suite of now-obscure character names he uses for people: Parnelli Jones, Clem Kadiddlehopper, Office Krupke, Mr. McBoingboing, Whittaker Walt.


I had a kindly older neighbor that liked to call me clem kadiddlehopper, also Aloisyus (pronounced aloe ishus)
 
2012-05-27 11:10:39 PM  
I searched the thread ... no one has mentioned 'babe'...

/ works better on the ladies then the guys..
// slashie might work too....
 
2012-05-27 11:19:44 PM  

dopekitty74: I had a kindly older neighbor that liked to call me clem kadiddlehopper, also Aloisyus (pronounced aloe ishus)


That's Aloysius, Chief.

/ Grandfather's middle name was Aloysius and never let us forget that
// Even though he eventually did, in the throes of Alzheimer's
/// Miss ya, Bumpy!
 
2012-05-27 11:20:34 PM  
Guys: Betty
Girls: Billy
 
2012-05-27 11:25:43 PM  

WTF Indeed: Twatwaffle:

Thanks, twatwaffle!

You da twatwaffle!


... Just found my boss's new greeting. THX
 
2012-05-27 11:26:16 PM  

pyr8bwoy: in college i called people 'pimp,' now i've gone old school and called people 'vato,' 'ese,' and 'holmes.'


At work when we find something especially challenging we will say "pimpin' aint easy" with the standard response from a coworker "pimpin' is hard, dog". Working in an IT lab we of course are referring to computer pimping.
 
2012-05-27 11:27:21 PM  
clearly you have no idea what you are talking about

non sequitur?
really?
 
2012-05-27 11:30:46 PM  

Jamdug!: Comptroller.


The first one I'd consider an actual non-sequitur.
 
2012-05-27 11:30:51 PM  

TheOther: Worst Name I Ever Heard: TheOther:'Chief' me and I'll mess your life up.

Lighten up, Chief.

EZ Money chimes in.


That really messed me up, Chief.
 
2012-05-27 11:32:47 PM  

davynelson: clearly you have no idea what you are talking about

non sequitur?
really?



The whole damn thread (except for me, you, and a few others is a non sequitur!
 
2012-05-27 11:32:50 PM  
Hot Dogger
 
2012-05-27 11:33:57 PM  

The water was cold: davynelson: clearly you have no idea what you are talking about

non sequitur?
really?


The whole damn thread (except for me, you, and a few) others is a non sequitur!


FTFM
 
2012-05-27 11:37:40 PM  

CUZN_Ovoids: Three pages of posts and not a single muchacho?

Kids: rugrat, monkey, heathen, stinker, hobo, sweetie,

Hot women: miss, senorita, enchantress, homely-but-affectionate, momma, mommacita, chica, fair lady

Not hot women: honey, sugar tits, jail bait, so-and-so's sister, gov'ness, ma'am, granny

Guys: muchacho, man, bastard, tiny montgomery, stupid, fartknocker, mister


My mom used 'fart in a mitten' on me when i was a kid. I've called hubby and best friend 'fartknocker' i use chicky or chickypoo for girls i'm friends with, dear, honey and sweetie for customers kfc cashier)
 
2012-05-27 11:37:50 PM  
Everything starts with "According to prophecy" and ends with "And that's the Gospel"
 
2012-05-27 11:38:06 PM  

BHK: Tovarich


Haha...former USSR residents tend to give that a funny look
 
2012-05-27 11:39:13 PM  
When the first phrase out of the cop's mouth is: " Now, buddy..." you're going to be using " Boss" for the next 8 weeks
 
2012-05-27 11:42:36 PM  
I had a IPS (introductory to physical science) teacher who was just a batshiat crazy cajun and he called everyone 'Champ' when he was happy and everyone got 'Peckerwood' when he was irritated.

To this day I cant help but do it. I still say, Hey Champ! or Stop it, Peckerwood! etc, etc

Son of a Fark was deadly with a thrown eraser. Add the hilarity of stuff on fire attended by idiot teenagers and shiat got waaaay out of control sometimes.
 
2012-05-27 11:43:09 PM  
Big (their first initial).

eg As you are meeting a group of your friends, nod to each of them in turn: "Big L, Big S, Big D", etc.
 
2012-05-27 11:46:40 PM  

ahab: I think you need to look up what non-sequitur means. It's easier if you know how to spell it.


Came here to say this.... THIS.
 
2012-05-27 11:49:41 PM  
Chica for the ladies.
Cap'n for my husband (not a pilot but he plays one on the computer)
Some people get special names. Tony D'Oporto became Tony D'Oporto-potty, we weren't friends.
Guys just get called by their names or sometimes, "man".

I also use the term "dude" for either sex when I'm really excited about something and want to tell them about it.
 
2012-05-27 11:50:03 PM  
I just got my oil changed and a little tune up, and all of the mechanics/service guys called me boss. It was weird.
 
2012-05-27 11:51:16 PM  

dukef: ahab: I think you need to look up what non-sequitur means. It's easier if you know how to spell it.

Came here to say this.... THIS.


"
 
2012-05-27 11:51:24 PM  

Oh, and:

upload.wikimedia.org

You're my wife now, Dave.

 
2012-05-27 11:51:31 PM  

SonOfSpam: RadioAaron: iamrex: Fella, Pal, Brosephus, Holmes, and sometimes Hot Sauce.

I worked with a guy in Seattle and in Portland who had quite the vocabulary of similar titles:

Broseph, Brohemian Rhapsody, Brocystic FiBROsys, Gangly Gangster, Bromance Novel, etc. etc.

/World.

Was he makin' copies?


^^this
 
2012-05-27 11:53:35 PM  

The water was cold: dukef: ahab: I think you need to look up what non-sequitur means. It's easier if you know how to spell it.

Came here to say this.... THIS.

"


I did this earlier, I'll do it again.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/non%20sequitur

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/non+sequitur

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/non+sequitur+?s=t
 
2012-05-27 11:53:41 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: ModernLuddite: And self-amusement is the best kind of amusement.

You'll go blind doing that.


Or deaf, if i'm any evidence
 
2012-05-28 12:03:45 AM  

Worst Name I Ever Heard: dopekitty74: I had a kindly older neighbor that liked to call me clem kadiddlehopper, also Aloisyus (pronounced aloe ishus)

That's Aloysius, Chief.

/ Grandfather's middle name was Aloysius and never let us forget that
// Even though he eventually did, in the throes of Alzheimer's
/// Miss ya, Bumpy!


Thanks, i knew that didn't look quite right.

Did you see that chainsmoking sparrow?
 
2012-05-28 12:11:40 AM  
Every young boy is buddy. Every little girl is kiddo. I call fellow adults I know campers. I don't know when I started this. I am horrible at remembering names. This seems to fix the problem.
 
2012-05-28 12:11:44 AM  

rbaron71: I like calling everyone "sir", but in a casual way. Men or women, adult or children.


I use that one all the time without even thinking about it. It got to the point where it became punctuation for me.
 
2012-05-28 12:15:35 AM  
I just go with "Sahib". That or "Little girl". The guys at work think it's funny.
 
2012-05-28 12:18:33 AM  
I witnessed a woman call her little boy "Cucumber". It made me laugh.
 
2012-05-28 12:28:49 AM  
Trufax, I have heard people IRL use the term "sugarcube", and immediately recognized them as Bronies. Also trufax, I couldn't stop snickering after each instance.

I will use Dear, Honey, Sunshine, Moonbeam, Darlin', Dude, Jeeves (when somebody is being a marvel), and Bones (doctors or doctoral students, both PhD and MD)


/Sweetheart is now only for my partner, so I excluded it from the above list
 
2012-05-28 12:29:59 AM  
Mr. Lastname

If I pass a customer call at work to another coworker I'll say "Mr. Jones will help you". So I just use that as a standard greeting for everything.
 
2012-05-28 12:32:59 AM  
Calling girls "dude" or "asshole" gets some interesting looks.

Also, I'm a big fan of "captain jackass", or something along those lines.

captain dickcheese, horsef*cker, numbnuts, tits mcgee, etc..
 
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