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(Hamilton Spectator)   Man disappears in Niagara Falls whirlpool; presumed to be spinning in his grave   (thespec.com) divider line 71
    More: Dumbass, Niagara Falls  
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10250 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2012 at 12:11 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-27 04:54:23 PM
Authorities don't know the details, but it probably happened when a group of idiots decided to fark around with a GIANT WHIRLPOOL!
 
2012-05-27 04:57:23 PM
"disappers"?
 
2012-05-27 05:03:21 PM

Bathia_Mapes: "disappers"?


I think it's Snoop Dogg shizzle-speak for "diapers".
 
2012-05-27 05:03:43 PM

Bathia_Mapes: "disappers"?


I think it's Snoop Dogg shizzle-speak for diapers.
 
2012-05-27 05:07:18 PM
Like so:

i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-27 05:13:31 PM

FloydA: Bathia_Mapes: "disappers"?

I think it's Snoop Dogg shizzle-speak for "diapers".


FloydA: Bathia_Mapes: "disappers"?

I think it's Snoop Dogg shizzle-speak for diapers.


Echo, echo, echo... :-D
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2012-05-27 05:26:16 PM

FloydA: Like so:

[i105.photobucket.com image 459x573]


Ooooh there's Pooh on the sofa. That's nasty.
 
2012-05-27 05:29:12 PM

Pud: Ooooh there's Pooh on the sofa. That's nasty.


Fo' shizzle
 
2012-05-27 05:38:48 PM

Bathia_Mapes: FloydA: Bathia_Mapes: "disappers"?

I think it's Snoop Dogg shizzle-speak for "diapers".

FloydA: Bathia_Mapes: "disappers"?

I think it's Snoop Dogg shizzle-speak for diapers.

Echo, echo, echo... :-D


Yeah, sorry.
 
2012-05-27 05:48:35 PM

FloydA: Bathia_Mapes: FloydA: Bathia_Mapes: "disappers"?

I think it's Snoop Dogg shizzle-speak for "diapers".

FloydA: Bathia_Mapes: "disappers"?

I think it's Snoop Dogg shizzle-speak for diapers.

Echo, echo, echo... :-D

Yeah, sorry.


No worries. Probably a glitch in the matrix similar to the one we had last week with the 2 comment boxes showing up in some of the redlit threads.
 
2012-05-27 08:09:35 PM

NutWrench: Authorities don't know the details, but it probably happened when a group of idiots decided to fark around with a GIANT WHIRLPOOL!


I've been there. The thing is HUGE. Easily 200 feet around and it looks like 125 feet deep. Not something you'd fark with willingly.
 
2012-05-27 09:01:22 PM
Did they try backtracking to Pittsburgh, Miami, New Orleans, and Dallas?
 
2012-05-27 09:32:07 PM
It would really be ironic if he were a Maytag repairman
 
2012-05-27 09:37:36 PM
Sorry, meant 200 yards.
 
2012-05-27 10:15:23 PM
I've seen it...all that river close to the falls looked like instant death to me, the water is very fast moving. Why someone would willingly jump in to swim is astounding.

www.richard-seaman.com
 
2012-05-27 10:26:01 PM

optikeye: I've seen it...all that river close to the falls looked like instant death to me, the water is very fast moving. Why someone would willingly jump in to swim is astounding.

[www.richard-seaman.com image 640x460]


Niagra is special because the river is super deep. There's big rapids, but they're not made from rocks, but from jets of water coming off the rocks. If you've got the buoyancy, you can have a fun little trip. There's a jet boat ride and they slap life vests on you. I imagine that's enough. With no rocks to catch your feet, fast water isn't any more dangerous than slow.
 
2012-05-27 10:28:31 PM
Biatch, you knew it was Whirlpool!
 
2012-05-27 10:30:23 PM

Almost forgot:

static.theurbn.com
 
2012-05-27 11:30:33 PM
We're just drowning in bad headlines today. Someone needs to throw subby a lifesaver because at this point he's just fishing for a laugh with that watery headline.
 
2012-05-28 12:16:21 AM
Gave himself a swirly what a hero!
 
2012-05-28 12:17:39 AM

optikeye: I've seen it...all that river close to the falls looked like instant death to me, the water is very fast moving. Why someone would willingly jump in to swim is astounding.

[www.richard-seaman.com image 640x460]


Booze and BBQ? 22 isn't the brightest of ages.
 
2012-05-28 12:19:16 AM
www.mathfail.com


/Go ahead, dive in stupid!
 
2012-05-28 12:23:41 AM

AbbeySomeone: Booze and BBQ? 22 isn't the brightest of ages.


Yeah, but was he able to save the beer?

img.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-28 12:33:40 AM
I'm going to assume alcohol was involved? I've been at that river, I've seen the whirlpools and that's something a normal sober person couldn't even be paid to swim in or even take one step in. As a previous poster said, it's instant death.
 
2012-05-28 12:35:57 AM

styckx: I'm going to assume alcohol was involved? I've been at that river, I've seen the whirlpools and that's something a normal sober person couldn't even be paid to swim in or even take one step in. As a previous poster said, it's instant death.


Perhaps they double dog dared him.
 
2012-05-28 12:36:46 AM
That thing routinely sucks down 150 ft fallen trees, grinds them up on the rocky bottom, and spits out nothing but wood chips.
I don't think they're recovering the body.
 
2012-05-28 12:44:09 AM
The guy was always a barrel of laughs.
 
2012-05-28 12:47:11 AM


That thing routinely sucks down 150 ft fallen trees, grinds them up on the rocky bottom, and spits out nothing but wood chips.
I don't think they're recovering the body.


Later,chum.
 
2012-05-28 12:51:55 AM
Fark so needs a Darwin tag.
 
2012-05-28 01:00:38 AM
images.wikia.com
 
2012-05-28 01:03:13 AM
Hey, isn't that--
It's our good friend, Roy boy.
Jump!
No, no! He's wearing my good hat!
Let's help him out.
Great.
Don't jump, Roy boy,
don't jump! Help is on the way!
 
Skr
2012-05-28 01:04:34 AM
Unlike other whirlpools, Niagara Whirlpool never loses suction.
 
2012-05-28 01:06:52 AM
Niagara Falls?
Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch. I walked up to him, I smashed him like this, I hit him, I bopped him, I tore him to pieces, and then I knocked him down!


Dumbass
 
2012-05-28 01:08:46 AM

gas giant: That thing routinely sucks down 150 ft fallen trees, grinds them up on the rocky bottom, and spits out nothing but wood chips.
I don't think they're recovering the body.


Sounds like a good plan for an insurance scam. No need to worry about your plane landing intact just offshore instead of 100 miles out in the Gulf of Mexico.
 
2012-05-28 01:13:45 AM
Charles Darwin nods in approval.
 
2012-05-28 01:15:22 AM
For you, subby.

/save a seat for me too.
 
2012-05-28 01:16:23 AM

Nutsac_Jim: Sounds like a good plan for an insurance scam. No need to worry about your plane landing intact just offshore instead of 100 miles out in the Gulf of Mexico.


I was thinking exactly the same thing when I posted that.
 
2012-05-28 01:16:36 AM

LoneWolf343: For you, subby.

/save a seat for me too.


Fark ate my image.
 
2012-05-28 01:18:40 AM
That is the secret entrance to the judicial league hall tunnel disrobement gang club house cave fortress encampment hideout. No one ever thinks to look there.
 
2012-05-28 01:32:47 AM
There is a secret tunnel down there I think he is there.
 
2012-05-28 01:37:53 AM

AbbeySomeone:
Booze and BBQ? 22 isn't the brightest of ages.


I think booze and BBQ go together just fine. Again, the booze might not pair so well with the GIANT WHIRLPOOL....

/and that's why I always stay inside my cozy hobbit hole, with my cozy TV and my cozy Fark. Losers....
 
2012-05-28 01:44:44 AM

optikeye: I've seen it...all that river close to the falls looked like instant death to me, the water is very fast moving. Why someone would willingly jump in to swim is astounding.

[www.richard-seaman.com image 640x460]

~

The comments FTA say he is Asian.

So. Um.

There's your answer.

// photo by Dick Semen *snork*
 
2012-05-28 01:44:53 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-05-28 01:55:44 AM
I wonder which magical world he lives in now?

Rick Marshall, Will and Holly are a father and his two kids who get sucked into a whirlpool while out rafting. The whirlpool acts as a time portal and they end up in a primitive world populated by dinosaurs and cavemen....
i50.tinypic.com

Science teacher John Butler, and his wife, Kim, daughter Katie and son Greg, find themselves lost in the Valley of the Dinosaurs, when their raft is sucked down into a whirlpool....
i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-05-28 02:08:38 AM
So that's what the smooshy-faced wax lion was trying to warn me about.
 
2012-05-28 02:16:11 AM
Niagra Falls!!! Sloooowly he turned....
 
2012-05-28 02:29:31 AM
Kind of a young age to go...
Oh well i guess :/
 
2012-05-28 05:14:20 AM

Big Ramifications: I wonder which magical world he lives in now?

Rick Marshall, Will and Holly are a father and his two kids who get sucked into a whirlpool while out rafting. The whirlpool acts as a time portal and they end up in a primitive world populated by dinosaurs and cavemen....
[i50.tinypic.com image 150x211]

Science teacher John Butler, and his wife, Kim, daughter Katie and son Greg, find themselves lost in the Valley of the Dinosaurs, when their raft is sucked down into a whirlpool....
[i49.tinypic.com image 250x154]


Or maybe they're all dead, and the dinosaur shiat is just them fighting their mortality, like in lathe of heaven - but they never get home. just like this dude won't.
 
2012-05-28 07:25:28 AM
Niagara, Prease.
 
2012-05-28 07:57:30 AM
Now his name is Eddy.
 
2012-05-28 08:15:12 AM
My wife and I hiked down there. There were some kids with a long rope tied off to a tree. They would tie it around their waist and then jump in and let the current carry them around until the rope caught them. Looked pretty dangerous to me. My wife and did take pictures of each other standing in the water up to our ankles.
 
2012-05-28 08:51:42 AM
encrypted-tbn3.google.com
 
2012-05-28 08:52:43 AM
Remember that this whirlpool has a name....DEVIL'S HOLE. And there are eddies nearby the whirlpool that i've seen people jump into before....and those people are batshiate CRAZY. as stated above, that river is instant death. lifejackets aren't a sure thing, either, as they can get pulled off. they'll find charlie chan in lake ontario later this summer....
 
2012-05-28 09:10:34 AM

farkatronic: Remember that this whirlpool has a name....DEVIL'S HOLE. And there are eddies nearby the whirlpool that i've seen people jump into before....and those people are batshiate CRAZY. as stated above, that river is instant death. lifejackets aren't a sure thing, either, as they can get pulled off. they'll find charlie chan in lake ontario later this summer....



gothamist.com
 
2012-05-28 09:36:25 AM

doglover: optikeye: I've seen it...all that river close to the falls looked like instant death to me, the water is very fast moving. Why someone would willingly jump in to swim is astounding.

[www.richard-seaman.com image 640x460]

Niagra is special because the river is super deep. There's big rapids, but they're not made from rocks, but from jets of water coming off the rocks. If you've got the buoyancy, you can have a fun little trip. There's a jet boat ride and they slap life vests on you. I imagine that's enough. With no rocks to catch your feet, fast water isn't any more dangerous than slow.


EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE THE WATER DOES A 270 DEGREE TURN AND THE OUTFLOW DIVES UNDER THE INFLOW SUCKING YOU UNDER THE WATER IN A HUGE VORTEX THAT WONT LET YOU BREATHE UNTIL THE FLOW LESSENS LATE AT NIGHT! Other than that the whirlpool is totes safe.
 
2012-05-28 09:36:31 AM
When I was there as a kid I remember the tour guide saying they dont let people shoot the rapids there because the one time they let pros do it a few ended up dead. He also made lots of Superman 2 references.
 
2012-05-28 09:37:34 AM

doglover: There's a jet boat ride and they slap life vests on you. I imagine that's enough. With no rocks to catch your feet, fast water isn't any more dangerous than slow.


My gf's bro drives one of those jetboats. He took us out a couple summers ago, zipped through that whirlpool of death area. It just looked evil.

We flew over a wave only to be greeted by another one rising up behind it and slammed hard. I swear to this day it broke my tailbone. Still it was a fun ride. Recommended.
 
2012-05-28 09:37:36 AM
Why anyone would go swimming in the Niagara River to begin with?

Fast current and huge undertows. Beautiful area though, if you stay away from the tourist traps.
 
2012-05-28 09:41:29 AM
Some might struggle steering and navigating while swimming in curents moving through a gorge at 30 feet per second too. IF THEY ARE TOTAL PUSSIES!
 
2012-05-28 09:47:26 AM
What descending into a whirlpool may look like:
upload.wikimedia.org
/hot
 
2012-05-28 10:39:33 AM
Harry Clarke's awesome. Never thought I'd see his work in a Fark thread, though.
 
2012-05-28 12:48:49 PM

farkatronic: Remember that this whirlpool has a name....DEVIL'S HOLE. And there are eddies nearby the whirlpool that i've seen people jump into before....and those people are batshiate CRAZY. as stated above, that river is instant death. lifejackets aren't a sure thing, either, as they can get pulled off. they'll find charlie chan in lake ontario later this summer....


It's not that lifejackets get pulled off that's the problem.

The problem is that THAT RIVER DOESN'T GIVE A fark ABOUT YOUR LIFEJACKETS.

/Chuck Norris couldn't swim outta that whirlpool.
 
2012-05-28 12:50:35 PM

doglover: optikeye: I've seen it...all that river close to the falls looked like instant death to me, the water is very fast moving. Why someone would willingly jump in to swim is astounding.

[www.richard-seaman.com image 640x460]

Niagra is special because the river is super deep. There's big rapids, but they're not made from rocks, but from jets of water coming off the rocks. If you've got the buoyancy, you can have a fun little trip. There's a jet boat ride and they slap life vests on you. I imagine that's enough. With no rocks to catch your feet, fast water isn't any more dangerous than slow.


Jesus Christ no.

Those life vests are if you happen to fall on the way to or back from the whirlpool rapids.
 
2012-05-28 03:20:39 PM
Last Words: "Hold my beer and watch this!"

As the boombox echoed out over the roaring water with hits of the 1980's...

"You spin me right 'round, baby
Right round!
Like a record baby
Round round round round"
 
2012-05-28 03:24:52 PM

JPINFV: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 640x348]


Gotta love the several small boats slowly poking their way towards it, and the one guy hauling ass away from it.
 
2012-05-28 05:45:34 PM
A friend of mine was there the day this happened. She posted a picture she took of a helicopter circling around the GIANT WHIRLPOOL very low. She thought it must be some tour ride. But of course it wasn't; It was the body searchhttps://fbcdn-
 
2012-05-28 05:52:29 PM

Ablejack: A friend of mine was there the day this happened. She posted a picture she took of a helicopter circling around the GIANT WHIRLPOOL very low. She thought it must be some tour ride. But of course it wasn't; It was the body search

farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2012-05-28 07:33:35 PM
Problem for......homeland security.......RCMP........homeland Security..........RCMP...............Homeland Security.......
 
2012-05-28 10:28:38 PM
i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-05-29 01:46:35 AM

Ed Finnerty: Now his name is Eddy.


Nope. Chin Lo.
 
2012-05-29 06:02:20 PM
Maybe his name is:

Wun Dum Phuk
 
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