Your dorm is going to suck:

#11 Enjoy college because you are soooooo totally farked afterward, kids.

eas81: Your dorm is going to suck:

That is a huge dorm room!
Mine was 8'x16' and a shared bathroom 6'x10', with the suite mates.

eas81: Your dorm is going to suck:


I've seen far, far worse than that!

wildlifer: eas81: Your dorm is going to suck:

That is a huge dorm room!
Mine was 8'x16' and a shared bathroom 6'x10', with the suite mates.

came to echo this.

/after an unexpected rankings bump in US News and World reports, my alma mater turned two-person suites into 4-person bunked rat-traps.
//still begged for cash, because undergrad tuition is a tiny drop in their bucket

That was an unusually good top 10 list, much more realistic and practical than most.

One bit of advice to add: Get out of your dorm room when you can. You won't meet many interesting people there.

#11. Not all of you are "college material" and will wind up wearing a paper hat and name tag asking people if they want fries with that.

That started off rather poorly but ended pretty well. One I would add to the list: don't bypass early pussy because you think you can do better later in college. I blew off a few girls early freshman year because they were "below my standards". Then schoolwork got in the way, social circles became more defined, and I ended up begging for scraps.

"Your future depends on your ability and willingness to work hard along with networking and a little luck."

Bollox, 85% of your future depends on the family you were born in to. 10% depends on luck. Maybe 5% is your own hard work and initiative.

They are right about the campus police. The ones on my campus were terrible. One time when my book bag (with all my expensive textbooks and graphing calculator) was stolen I found two witnesses and tracked down culprit for them. They didn't do squat.

/still bitter

5. Don't feel bad if you get homesick. At least half of your friends that keep raving about how much they love their first semester of college are totally lying.

I must have been part of the other half then, I never looked back.


Thanks to movies and television (again), many of us have been conditioned to believe that the undergraduate college experience has be the best 4 years of our lives from Day 1

This was absolutely true fro me, sorry if y'all sucked at it.



8. The college parties you see in the movies very rarely happen. A typical "party" will instead consist a lot of people standing around in a dimly lit house/back yard and drinking terrible beer.

And when you're 18/19 and around a whole bunch of stimulating new people, that is every bit as awesome, maybe awesomer. At that age you can talk about inconsequential shiat for days at a time and think it's the deepest thing in the world.



10. There will be people with easy majors that never seem to go to class and have all the free time in the world. Do not envy them.

Meh, some of us did hard courses, skipped classes and still came out with a good qualification :-P



Gothnet's verdict - Author of TFA did it wrong.

A corollary to my post might be: don't go to Columbia Engineering, you retard! Go to Texas instead!!!

Quick! Someone find the guy who wrote that article, capture him, and drag him over to Fark!

eas81: Your dorm is going to suck:

[www.collegetocareers.com image 450x338]

I couldn't even lay down on a bed that short. I'd like to talk with a lawyer about this college discriminating against tall people in their accommodations.

9. University parking police Many people you will meet in the course of your working life are soulless, terrible people that will do everything in their power to make your life miserable.

"4. You will meet absolutely no new friends at the university planned social gatherings designed to help you meet new friends."

One of the first things our resident assistants told us was not to attended the freshman mixer or dorm party. They knew those things were lame and the more people that showed up, the longer they had to stay there.

One of my friends is convinced the squirrels on campus have actually formed their own army. Whenever we see them scurrying around, they're coordinating battle plans. It's only a matter of time until they rise.

So right about the squirrels. I'll tease the Squirrels at Rice by clicking at them, but giving them no food when they come over.

All ten of those items go with the assumption that someone is going to college in the first place. Which leads into:

SomeCallMeTim: #11. Not all of you are "college material" and will wind up wearing a paper hat and name tag asking people if they want fries with that.

i don't agree that not going to college means what SomeCallMeTim is implying. Many is the college grad who does that, while those who went trade school or military are in much better financial positions. And there's no shame in the service industry.

However, there's no advice for those kids who don't want to go, can't afford to go, will find out they can't afford to continue to go, or have other obstacles. That is to be expected?

flypusher713: So right about the squirrels. I'll tease the Squirrels at Rice by clicking at them, but giving them no food when they come over.

Little ninja bastards we had would bury you for that.

wildcardjack: eas81: Your dorm is going to suck:

[www.collegetocareers.com image 450x338]

I couldn't even lay down on a bed that short. I'd like to talk with a lawyer about this college discriminating against tall people in their accommodations.

Hey, we had extra-long beds in our dorms...forty years ago.

#11 You'll meet new people and forge life-long friendships with them. Those friendships will be forged in the crucible of a pretty intense four years and will likely surpass the ones you had in the first 18 years.

PrinceCole: They are right about the campus police. The ones on my campus were terrible. One time when my book bag (with all my expensive textbooks and graphing calculator) was stolen I found two witnesses and tracked down culprit for them. They didn't do squat.

/still bitter

That's no different from real police.

#17: If your weird roommate asks if his girlfriend from another dorm can stay in the room for a few days because she doesn't get along with her own roommate, say no. A few days will end up being all year.

Gough:
#11 You'll meet new people and forge life-long friendships with them. Those friendships will be forged in the crucible of a pretty intense four years and will likely surpass the ones you had in the first 18 years.

Or if you're really nerdy, that will happen in grad school.

A Non Amos: Quick! Someone find the guy who wrote that article, capture him, and drag him over to Fark!

The blogger is a Farker, if he wrote the article. They're good pieces of advice, all round. For me, i'd add no. 11 as to not admit to family how much cash you actually got in all those congrats cards. They'll be hounding you to do sensible things with it. So stash some away, and enjoy the sweet, sweet, spending.

Gothnet: 5. Don't feel bad if you get homesick. At least half of your friends that keep raving about how much they love their first semester of college are totally lying.

I must have been part of the other half then, I never looked back.


Thanks to movies and television (again), many of us have been conditioned to believe that the undergraduate college experience has be the best 4 years of our lives from Day 1

This was absolutely true fro me, sorry if y'all sucked at it.



8. The college parties you see in the movies very rarely happen. A typical "party" will instead consist a lot of people standing around in a dimly lit house/back yard and drinking terrible beer.

And when you're 18/19 and around a whole bunch of stimulating new people, that is every bit as awesome, maybe awesomer. At that age you can talk about inconsequential shiat for days at a time and think it's the deepest thing in the world.



10. There will be people with easy majors that never seem to go to class and have all the free time in the world. Do not envy them.

Meh, some of us did hard courses, skipped classes and still came out with a good qualification :-P



Gothnet's verdict - Author of TFA did it wrong.

Or you're a lying douchebag, either or

SomeCallMeTim: #11. Not all of you are "college material" and many of you who are, nevertheless, will wind up wearing a paper hat and name tag asking people if they want fries with that.

/FTFY

Thanks to R1niceboy, I can't stop wondering if ever the guy who wrote the article is somewhere on the thread...

/I love breaking the fourth wall.

We had a Squirrel Mafia on campus. They would close in until they were 3-4 abreast and chatter menacingly. While you were eyeing them warily, another would leap from a nearby garbage can and grapple the Big Grab of Fritos right out of your hand with its dexterous and pointy little forepaws. Then they'd make disparaging comments about your mother.

We had lovely, spacious townhouses for dorms, though. Woot!

flypusher713: I'll tease the Squirrels at Rice by clicking at them, but giving them no food when they come over.

They WILL remember you and, one day they WILL kill you

I don't agree with the college parties being lame. We partied at the frat houses. There would literally be 40 cases or more of beer stacked up the wall, with the pledges handing everything out. There would be at least a couple rooms where the questionable "trashcan punch" was being handed out to the ladies who didn't like beer. And of course, who could forget dancing to songs like "The Thong Song" or "Pussy Control?" Every Thursday, my girlfriends and I would make the circuit, walking from the dorms to at least 3 or 4 frat houses and then back again. It seemed like back then, we were also mostly immune to the infamous hangover, so there was nothing holding us back.

I think the parties this author is talking about, are the ones where people sit around and smoke pot while playing video games.

You're welcome, Class of 2012: Top 10 things no one tells high school graduates college freshmen

FTFA

/not everyone goes to college upon graduating high school

flypusher713: So right about the squirrels. I'll tease the Squirrels at Rice by clicking at on them, but giving them no food when they come over.

Why don't we have virtual reality yet?

furterfan: flypusher713: I'll tease the Squirrels at Rice by clicking at them, but giving them no food when they come over.

They WILL remember you and, one day they WILL kill you

I have spared quite a few of them by not running them over with my car when they were young, stupid, and confused about what to do in the middle of the road with something big coming towards them, so we've called it even!

gingerjet: You're welcome, Class of 2012: Top 10 things no one tells high school graduates college freshmen

FTFA

/not everyone goes to college upon graduating high school

Thank you.

Freshmen girls are otherwise known as prey

#11) If you were to actually pay for it by yourself, spartan is good.

Ummon: Freshmen girls are otherwise known as prey

Mellow_1: I don't agree with the college parties being lame. We partied at the frat houses. There would literally be 40 cases or more of beer stacked up the wall, with the pledges handing everything out. There would be at least a couple rooms where the questionable "trashcan punch" was being handed out to the ladies who didn't like beer. And of course, who could forget dancing to songs like "The Thong Song" or "Pussy Control?" Every Thursday, my girlfriends and I would make the circuit, walking from the dorms to at least 3 or 4 frat houses and then back again. It seemed like back then, we were also mostly immune to the infamous hangover, so there was nothing holding us back.

I think the parties this author is talking about, are the ones where people sit around and smoke pot while playing video games.

Rush week had legendary parties . . . Every other party was lame @ my uni.

KrispyKritter: there should be a separate list for those not college bound. the college students face a different reality than the HS graduates who are jumping right into the cesspool of life.

Such as?

Entitlements exist so that everyone else can whip out the tiniest of guitars.