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(Some Guy)   Friend loans Farker her credit card so he can order her presale tickets to the game. What else should she get in the mail next week? Link goes to not safe for work ideas. Voting enabled   (stockroom.com) divider line 113
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11915 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2003 at 10:33 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



113 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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The NaSkAr [TotalFark]
2003-11-06 06:44:50 PM
vibrator
 
supichoo [TotalFark]
2003-11-06 06:45:09 PM
A baby jesus butt plug

http://www.blowfish.com/catalog/toys/divine_butt_toys.html

*NSFW*

obvious
 
DerekSD
2003-11-06 06:46:31 PM
the feather butt-plug.
 
JangoFett
2003-11-06 06:51:59 PM
Lesbian porn from the fine folks at Five Star DVD.
 
Lippsy_Canada
2003-11-06 06:56:15 PM
How about buying a membership to Total Fark with that handy dandy credit card?

You get to pour over crappy submissions like this 24/7-365!

Or, why don't you pick up one of those $1,000,000 keyboards at Amazon?

opening old wounds.
 
Hydrostatic_Equilibrium
2003-11-06 06:56:30 PM
So Obvious. Get a Account.
 
Hydrostatic_Equilibrium
2003-11-06 06:57:27 PM
Dang it, if I hadn't previewed that sucker I would of beat you Lippsy.
 
aarkwilde
2003-11-06 07:20:45 PM
Ah, but Hydro, your post has voting.

Laugh last.

And my suggestion: a jumbo mystery box from Archie McPhee.
 
vegasj
2003-11-06 07:29:46 PM
What else should she get in the mail next week?

his bill.
 
Octagonecology
2003-11-06 08:14:38 PM
How about nothing?

Goddamn, it IS your friend, right?


octo
 
Godzilla
2003-11-06 09:39:45 PM
Get her a new Nigerian Prince friend by sharing her account number with him as he tries to transfer his millions to the states.

I'm sure she'll appreciate it.
 
Thales
2003-11-06 09:58:22 PM
Imagine her surprise when she opens her crate and finds her brand new mail order bride.
 
Nelno
2003-11-06 10:18:07 PM

Charlie

link is NSFW.
 
poprocksandsoda
2003-11-06 10:35:50 PM
Always a favorite for the women in my life NSFW
 
It's Pronounced Moran
2003-11-06 10:38:13 PM
Anthrax
 
mfdoom
2003-11-06 10:38:20 PM
Many subscriptions to porn magazines.
 
Optamystic
2003-11-06 10:40:45 PM
Or, you could NOT act like a total jackass. Just a suggestion.
 
marklar
2003-11-06 10:42:58 PM
no, no, i think we should give this person a really good idea so that they cannot help but to follow through, then they will ruin the friendship because the person is so shallow as to listen to fark rather than common sense.
 
LesPhilky
2003-11-06 10:43:00 PM
Buy her dog steak.
 
newmoonpuppyhead
2003-11-06 10:43:30 PM
salami
 
buck wild
2003-11-06 10:44:03 PM
Batteries. LOTS of batteries.
 
Dogbowl
2003-11-06 10:45:38 PM
I also vote for getting nothing else, and not completely betraying her trust..
 
LessO2
2003-11-06 10:45:48 PM
Buy the book "I Am An Attention Whore" by David Blaine.
 
Epsilon
2003-11-06 10:45:57 PM
Boring. Way too easy.
 
faxinator
2003-11-06 10:46:44 PM


Perfect choice. Disgusting, stupid, very non-female, and most of all, funny as hell -- but not pornographic or illegal.
 
mikemir
2003-11-06 10:47:37 PM
Reported? Arrested? How good of friends exactly? :)
 
bald_n_blue
2003-11-06 10:48:25 PM
Buy yourself a one-way ticket to my house. You've so much to learn!
 
Holdtheroll
2003-11-06 10:48:28 PM
SPAM
 
Bin_jammin
2003-11-06 10:49:35 PM
Make a donation to the United Negro College Fund, Jews for Jesus, The IRA, PLO and any other organization you can think of. If you don't do it anonymously, you get a nice thank you card.
 
TheHumanCannonball
2003-11-06 10:51:24 PM
A severed head!

-/Got nothing!
 
KaoticNewtral [TotalFark]
2003-11-06 10:52:08 PM
A cheeseburger! Lol, you know...everyone loves a good cheeseburger. Except for the commie vegetarians!


(grab one for me too) I'm buyin' if you're flyin' !
 
Majikthise
2003-11-06 10:52:13 PM
A man made killer tree house with all the trimmings!

http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/shop/ultimate/ult/tre/ULT14KND1002.01.html


This of course depends on the friends credit rating.
 
DeathSquadronPilot
2003-11-06 10:52:13 PM
The Antidote
 
VoicesCarry
2003-11-06 10:52:16 PM
Those Realdolls freak me out....seem like they're made for serial rapists/killers who want to suppress their urges.
 
bongfarmer
2003-11-06 10:53:03 PM
Jehova Witness membership - She'll never get out

If she lives in an apartment a jacuzzi, if she lives in a house boat a piano, if she lives in a house why not a large caniverous animal? If her limit allows it get a giant octopus or squid. Good luck using the bathroom again
 
Axias
2003-11-06 10:55:56 PM
I decided there were just two suggestions I DIDN'T want to see when I looked at this comments..
1. Real Doll
2. pull my finger item
2 for 2 on 23 comments..

I love you guys.
 
Clever Dan
2003-11-06 10:57:18 PM
A thank you note?
 
faxinator
2003-11-06 10:58:01 PM
VoicesCarry:

Nice thought, but wouldn't work. Serial killers and rapists aren't looking for sex.
 
Hollaback
2003-11-06 10:59:05 PM
How about Snausages?



Deeee-licious!
 
ArmyOfFun
2003-11-06 10:59:23 PM
Buy a knife and then stab a hobo to death with it. Make sure you leave knife and receipt for knife on dead hobo. Bonus points for defiling hobo in creative ways.

Or buy some Fetal Soap on a Roap.
 
DinoVomit
2003-11-06 10:59:53 PM
definately send a buttplug to her mom.
 
Moloth
2003-11-06 11:00:03 PM
hey, cool... Stockroom.com. Thats where i buy ALL of my bondage stuff. great place!
 
animefarka
2003-11-06 11:00:14 PM
A good link. That'll really surprise her.
 
moriarty23
2003-11-06 11:02:52 PM
Damn, I wish I had six thousand dollars. I wanna get me one of those silicon ladies! I bet they're not nearly as insane as the ones who can talk!
 
in_game_default
2003-11-06 11:02:57 PM
Two words: Horse Semen
 
ConfessFletch
2003-11-06 11:04:14 PM
a weedeater, a live chicken, and some peach preserves
 
kent_eh
2003-11-06 11:04:24 PM
Buy her a gift that you both can enjoy.


Caution, NSFW link
 
I'm That Guy
2003-11-06 11:05:10 PM
 
BUrp
2003-11-06 11:05:23 PM
Russian Bride
 
Doonyman
2003-11-06 11:05:39 PM
Nelno

Most disturbing part:
"REALDOLL's nipples can withstand approximately 400% elongation before tearing."
 
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