If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   'Expert' claims aliens wouldn't want to eat or enslave us - the first ones we meet will be far too civilized, and will probably want only to serve man   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 139
    More: Unlikely, interstellar travel, faster than light, Seth Shostak, radio signals, Jill Tarter, The Family of Man, SETI, football stars  
•       •       •

2425 clicks; posted to Geek » on 25 May 2012 at 2:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



139 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-05-25 10:39:50 AM
"Yeah, right."
www.twilightzonemuseum.com
 
2012-05-25 10:52:21 AM
I'd like to know what makes us think we're so great that not only does our "God" covet us but aliens would also lick our buttholes. They'd want to serve us? Really?
 
2012-05-25 10:58:35 AM
'While Sir Stephen Hawking warned that alien life might try to conquer or colonize Earth, I respectfully disagree,' says Tarter.

Look, I'm going to believe the smartest man on Earth before I believe someone named after a sauce.
 
2012-05-25 10:59:01 AM
How to Cook Humans
 
2012-05-25 11:00:13 AM
I bet they have a special batter for frying us up.

/and a dipping sauce.
 
2012-05-25 11:00:14 AM
What makes people think we'd be able to communicate with an alien race at all? They'd probably be so vastly different from us in every way that we'd be completely unable to comprehend each others existence.

I mean, we barely know what's going on with dogs and cats and we've been in a symbiotic relationship with them for the past 40,000 years.
 
2012-05-25 11:02:09 AM
If you wanted to make Serak the Preparer cry, mission accomplished.
 
2012-05-25 11:02:16 AM
They really throw the word "expert" around loosely.
 
2012-05-25 11:04:04 AM

ArkAngel: How to Cook for Humans

 
2012-05-25 11:04:15 AM
Man: The other other white meat.

i212.photobucket.com

Are delicious.
 
2012-05-25 11:14:25 AM

bring to a festering boil: "Yeah, right."
[www.twilightzonemuseum.com image 200x150]


Came for the Twilight Zone reference...done in 1.
 
2012-05-25 11:25:19 AM
the first ones we meet will be far too civilized, and will probably want only to serve man microbial
 
2012-05-25 11:28:57 AM
With our luck we'll encounter Reavers first.
 
2012-05-25 11:35:22 AM

slayer199: Came for the Twilight Zone reference...done in 1.


Ummm...

It was done in the headline...
 
2012-05-25 11:58:58 AM
They travel for 100 years in a STL sleeper ship expecting to find a livable world with no intelligent life... a peaceful place to colonize so their race won't have all their eggs in one basket.

We could pop that farker with one missile.
 
2012-05-25 12:00:40 PM
Sure, the first ones.. but what about the second ones - that the first ones are fleeing from?
 
2012-05-25 12:20:13 PM

Pixiest: They travel for 100 years in a STL sleeper ship expecting to find a livable world with no intelligent life... a peaceful place to colonize so their race won't have all their eggs in one basket.

We could pop that farker with one missile.


I say we speak to them, arrange a mutually beneficial arrangement, we help them restock on fuel, they give us loads of technologies to help us destroy Russia with impunity.
 
2012-05-25 12:24:38 PM
I say we feed him to them first.
 
2012-05-25 12:32:04 PM

baka-san: Ummm...

It was done in the headline...


Yes it was...but I was looking for a pic.
 
2012-05-25 12:44:12 PM
All I know is they better not take the good package, I want the big gun!
 
2012-05-25 12:47:39 PM
We'd make great pets.
 
2012-05-25 01:12:30 PM
i assume 'kill us and take our remaining natural resources' in much the same way our space exploring future earth inhabitants will be going to the moon and mars to harvest raw materials for food, fuel and water and whatever else we will need.
 
2012-05-25 01:20:56 PM

SlothB77: i assume 'kill us and take our remaining natural resources' in much the same way our space exploring future earth inhabitants will be going to the moon and mars to harvest raw materials for food, fuel and water and whatever else we will need.


Pfft, we're barely civilised, according to some, and even most of us have issue with polluting other worlds and destroying their ecosystems. Imagine we discovered a planet with average life, bigger than microbes, but not intelligent, like a planet full of cats and dogs, I wager a trillion dollars that any attempt to wipe out the population for their water will be severely frowned upon by us terrans.

Assuming we have similar concepts about things then there'll probably be a segment of their society that is equally viewed as hippies who should get out of their planet if they hate it so much.

There's a big difference between mining dead asteroids and worlds and wiping out a planet full of intelligent, or even average lifeforms, just to get to some water in a universe full of water.
 
2012-05-25 01:23:40 PM

ArkAngel: How to Cook For Humans


FTFY
 
2012-05-25 01:32:10 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: All I know is they better not take the good package, I want the big gun!


*groan*
 
2012-05-25 01:36:59 PM

texdent: ArkAngel: How to Cook for Humans


How to Cook Forty Humans
 
2012-05-25 02:01:29 PM

Rev. Skarekroe: I mean, we barely know what's going on with dogs and cats and we've been in a symbiotic relationship with them for the past 40,000 years.


www.theroxyproxy.com
 
2012-05-25 02:24:21 PM
I'd make a good intergalactic pet, as long as the whole neutering thing is off the table.
 
2012-05-25 02:33:31 PM

ArkAngel: texdent: ArkAngel: How to Cook for Humans

How to Cook For Forty Humans


FTFY.
 
2012-05-25 02:33:59 PM
 
2012-05-25 02:34:56 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I'd make a good intergalactic pet, as long as the whole neutering thing is off the table.



Maybe you can get one of those little basket-beds with your name on it.
 
2012-05-25 02:35:08 PM
Welcome to erf!
 
2012-05-25 02:37:18 PM
If they've somehow achieved a post-scarcity society, we're fine. If they're anything like us, we're farked.
 
2012-05-25 02:38:00 PM

Slaxl: There's a big difference between mining dead asteroids and worlds and wiping out a planet full of intelligent, or even average lifeforms, just to get to some water in a universe full of water.


What makes you think they'd consider us intelligent? What makes you think they'd see us as anything more than we see ants as (poor ants, always getting the comparison)? I can see them approaching us in a similar fashion to the new(er) The Day the Earth Stood Still - not for the same reason, but from the perspective of "we need to rid ourselves of these parasites before colonization starts". Not saying it would have to happen that way, but it's definitely a plausible scenario.
 
2012-05-25 02:39:04 PM
Knowing science. Chances are we have this whole life out there in space thing totally bass-ackwards. There's probably so much life out there in space that no species would even bother coming here. Our planet is like a grain of sand on the beach.
 
2012-05-25 02:39:56 PM
"It's Lurch... and he has a farkin' cookbook!"
 
2012-05-25 02:40:34 PM

HotWingConspiracy: If they've somehow achieved a post-scarcity society, we're fine. If they're anything like us, we're farked.


Which makes me think they will want us a mercenaries. Being "super evolved" they are beyond war, but need war fighters to combat some other, more antagonistic alien race.

/Humans - the Vikings of the Galaxy.
 
2012-05-25 02:45:06 PM

syberpud: HotWingConspiracy: If they've somehow achieved a post-scarcity society, we're fine. If they're anything like us, we're farked.

Which makes me think they will want us a mercenaries. Being "super evolved" they are beyond war, but need war fighters to combat some other, more antagonistic alien race.

/Humans - the Vikings of the Galaxy.


If by "mercenaries" you mean "war slaves", then yes.

Let's all face it, in our current situation if any alien species, with technology capable of interstellar travel and the other advancements that go with it, arrived with the intention of enslaving or destroying us. We're pretty much farked and could do almost nothing about it.
 
2012-05-25 02:45:10 PM

SlothB77: i assume 'kill us and take our remaining natural resources' in much the same way our space exploring future earth inhabitants will be going to the moon and mars to harvest raw materials for food, fuel and water and whatever else we will need.


If a race is advanced enough for interstellar travel it would be easier to just find the resources somewhere there is no sentient life, instead of putting all kinds of time and energy into taking over a planet where there is sentient life.

/Finite resources are for island or planet dwellers
 
2012-05-25 02:49:58 PM
'Often the aliens of science fiction say more about us than they do about themselves,' said Jill Tarter,

storage.canoe.ca
 
2012-05-25 02:54:04 PM

SultanofSchwing: syberpud: HotWingConspiracy: If they've somehow achieved a post-scarcity society, we're fine. If they're anything like us, we're farked.

Which makes me think they will want us a mercenaries. Being "super evolved" they are beyond war, but need war fighters to combat some other, more antagonistic alien race.

/Humans - the Vikings of the Galaxy.

If by "mercenaries" you mean "war slaves", then yes.

Let's all face it, in our current situation if any alien species, with technology capable of interstellar travel and the other advancements that go with it, arrived with the intention of enslaving or destroying us. We're pretty much farked and could do almost nothing about it.


I dunno man. In movies that have involved humanity vs. aliens that I've seen our record is like 37-0. I think these filmmakers know what theyre talking about, so I'm pretty confident we'd kick butt.
 
2012-05-25 02:54:26 PM

Bonkthat_Again: We'd make great are pets.


ftft naive
 
2012-05-25 02:55:53 PM

Slaxl: SlothB77: i assume 'kill us and take our remaining natural resources' in much the same way our space exploring future earth inhabitants will be going to the moon and mars to harvest raw materials for food, fuel and water and whatever else we will need.

Pfft, we're barely civilised, according to some, and even most of us have issue with polluting other worlds and destroying their ecosystems. Imagine we discovered a planet with average life, bigger than microbes, but not intelligent, like a planet full of cats and dogs, I wager a trillion dollars that any attempt to wipe out the population for their water will be severely frowned upon by us terrans.

Assuming we have similar concepts about things then there'll probably be a segment of their society that is equally viewed as hippies who should get out of their planet if they hate it so much.

There's a big difference between mining dead asteroids and worlds and wiping out a planet full of intelligent, or even average lifeforms, just to get to some water in a universe full of water.


Other side of the coin is that the Government (or whatever system of leadership was in place at the time) wages a propaganda campaign against said newly discovered aliens. Being aliens, we as humans will naturally have less empathy toward them than any life forms on our planet. If our leaders convinced us that the aliens were aggressive, hostile and also lacked sentience, it would make it far easier for them to wipe them out without huge protests.

Look at the wars in the middle east. Plenty of people in the west strongly disapprove of those wars but it hasn't stopped them happening. People could protest as much as they wanted back on good old Earth and it wouldn't stop those in power from bombing the crap out of E.T and his pals.

Likewise, any alien species could be the same. Ultimately it's all speculation anyway as there are so many possibilities. My only hopes if they arrived in my lifetime are for 2 scenarios. First and most preferable is that they are either peace loving and advanced enough to help us resolve our own problems. But if they are hostile, I'd hope that at least they just see us as a nuisance and kill us in the blink of an eye. I don't fancy myself being enslaved.
 
2012-05-25 02:56:16 PM
As we all know, the first alien invaders have already traveled across the universe and were promptly eaten by a small dog.

/better not be obscure to anybody
 
2012-05-25 03:00:21 PM

Slaxl: There's a big difference between mining dead asteroids and worlds and wiping out a planet full of intelligent, or even average lifeforms, just to get to some water in a universe full of water


To heck with space flora and fauna I am thirsty. I say nuke them. Nuke them from orbit, just to be sure..... now bring me the water radiation filter.
 
2012-05-25 03:00:40 PM
Any race will just want to kill us. It is only logical, otherwise we or our machines might develop to pose a threat to them sometime in the distant future, especially if their civilization goes into a decline.
 
2012-05-25 03:01:40 PM

Rev. Skarekroe: What makes people think we'd be able to communicate with an alien race at all? They'd probably be so vastly different from us in every way that we'd be completely unable to comprehend each others existence.

I mean, we barely know what's going on with dogs and cats and we've been in a symbiotic relationship with them for the past 40,000 years.


Dogs and cats can't do math.
 
2012-05-25 03:03:15 PM

JesusJuice: Rev. Skarekroe: What makes people think we'd be able to communicate with an alien race at all? They'd probably be so vastly different from us in every way that we'd be completely unable to comprehend each others existence.

I mean, we barely know what's going on with dogs and cats and we've been in a symbiotic relationship with them for the past 40,000 years.

Dogs and cats can't do math.


not true, my dog has subtracted my property value
 
2012-05-25 03:05:18 PM
Who's to say that they've even be able to eat us if they wanted to? It's quite possible that they'll have an entirely different biochemistry, like, say, dextro-amino. And wear snug full-body suits with masks that hint at the pretty face inside. And have cute accents. And be really smart, and sweet, and... oh God...

*fap fap fap fap*
*sobs uncontrollably*
 
2012-05-25 03:09:25 PM

ToxicMunkee: I'd like to know what makes us think we're so great that not only does our "God" covet us but aliens would also lick our buttholes. They'd want to serve us? Really?


I find that hard to believe also, I think it would be closer to battle of Los Angeles than ET.
 
Displayed 50 of 139 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report