I want you to picture yourself laying down and covered with 550 kittens.

Even Hugh Hefner would agree that that is far too much to endure at one time.

That's dumb...he thinks he can find more pussy somewhere else?

What's her Fark handle?

/oblig

He divorced her because too much pussy?

fireclown: a household is allowed 3 cats. The 4th indicates a 50% chance of madness, 5th indicates a 25% chance, 6 an 87.5, and so on.

So you get less crazy with the addition of a 5th cat?

WhippingBoy: What's her Fark handle?

/oblig

Genevieve Marie ??

/I keed, I keed.

fireclown: a household is allowed 3 cats. The 4th indicates a 50% chance of madness, 5th indicates a 25% chance, 6 an 87.5, and so on.

This only applies if you're not in teh process of blending two households. We had 4 once everybody was together.

It also does not apply to farms. Farm kitties are a necessity.

Grobbley: How is it even possible to have 550 cats? The logistics of that seem...daunting, to say the least.

Solution to this mystery: they don't have to be all alive at the same time.

Otherwise, the point is moot. For example, if you take 550 cats away from a crazy cat hoarder, how do you know if they all belong to the hoarder? You can not possibly know this for certain in almost all cases. Some of them might be guest cats, visiting friends or family, attracted by a female in heat, or simply turning up for a free lunch and a cat parliament.

Like winds, cats listeth whither they will.

The only ways to be certain that the cats all belong to the hoarder is to do genetic tests on all of the cats or consult a careful and exact genealogy of the cats in question.

Clearly it is a presumption or short-hand to say that a cat hoarder has x cats. 550 cats were found and taken away, therefore the hoarder had 550 cats. This is not good logic, it is a fallacy of some sort (I will name it the Heisenberg's cat fallacy--namely the false belief that a cat exists when you are not looking at it, and can thus be counted without possibility of error). But 550 cats were counted, and therefore there were 550 cats.

In all probability the hoarder owned even more than 550 cats, or no cats at all, or any given number of cats. It is only by looking that you can determine the existence and location of a cat. Otherwise, the wave function of the cat or cats in question is spread thinly over the universes of space and time.

This is how cats manage to move mysteriously between distant places and times, showing up after an absence of seven years, say, or in the North West Territories after disappearing from a home in, say, Kentucky.

This is also the basis of the quantum cat drive which enables aliens to travel between distant star systems. The quantum cat drive uses the power of cats to be everywhere and nowhere in the same way that the Infinite Probability Drive that powers the Heart of Gold in HHGTTG uses probiliity to stretch itself from one place to all places and times and then contract back to another place and time.

The temptation to hoard cats must be very great if you know that you can use cats to be anywhere or anywhen you wish to be, but sadly, the precise trick is not easy to discover because the damn cats are too tight-lipped to divulge their secrets, especially their secret fishing holes from which cats, and only cats, can always obtain a free lunch, quantum mechanically speaking.

Grobbley:
Yeah, and where would you find 550 hats anyway?


Almost there already.

Cats. How the fark do they work?

Nobody really knows. Not Bill O'Reilly, and not Juggalos. Not even God comprendeth the ways of a cat.

KITTIES!

brantgoose: Grobbley: How is it even possible to have 550 cats? The logistics of that seem...daunting, to say the least.

Solution to this mystery: they don't have to be all alive at the same time.

Otherwise, the point is moot. For example, if you take 550 cats away from a crazy cat hoarder, how do you know if they all belong to the hoarder? You can not possibly know this for certain in almost all cases. Some of them might be guest cats, visiting friends or family, attracted by a female in heat, or simply turning up for a free lunch and a cat parliament.

Like winds, cats listeth whither they will.

The only ways to be certain that the cats all belong to the hoarder is to do genetic tests on all of the cats or consult a careful and exact genealogy of the cats in question.

Clearly it is a presumption or short-hand to say that a cat hoarder has x cats. 550 cats were found and taken away, therefore the hoarder had 550 cats. This is not good logic, it is a fallacy of some sort (I will name it the Heisenberg's cat fallacy--namely the false belief that a cat exists when you are not looking at it, and can thus be counted without possibility of error). But 550 cats were counted, and therefore there were 550 cats.

In all probability the hoarder owned even more than 550 cats, or no cats at all, or any given number of cats. It is only by looking that you can determine the existence and location of a cat. Otherwise, the wave function of the cat or cats in question is spread thinly over the universes of space and time.

This is how cats manage to move mysteriously between distant places and times, showing up after an absence of seven years, say, or in the North West Territories after disappearing from a home in, say, Kentucky.

This is also the basis of the quantum cat drive which enables aliens to travel between distant star systems. The quantum cat drive uses the power of cats to be everywhere and nowhere in the same way that the Infinite Probability Drive that powers the Heart of Gold ...

... wtf did i just read

Mr. Potatoass: What would Erwin Schrödinger do?

He would stay, or he would leave. We don't know.

LeroyBourne: 550? Really? That was the breaking point? 549 is fine, but 1 more and I'm out!

There is always a straw that breaks the camel's back.

For some ailurophobic men, one cat is too many. For other, more cat-tolerant men, 550 would be nothing. They would secretly cook a few every day in the garage and sell the skins to the fur trade, thus making a tidy profit without their wife's knowledge.

In this case, the poor man had grounds for divorce, namely insanity and possible mental cruelty.

Caturday thread has started earlier than anticipated...

Wade_Wilson: So when she dies alone surrounded by those cats, how long do you think it will take for them to skeletonize her body?


91mins (estimated running time of Sleepwalkers)

So will she have to pay ali-meow-ny?

/*ducks flying kittens*

Trivia Jockey: Mr. Potatoass: What would Erwin Schrödinger do?

He would stay, or he would leave. We don't know.

wrong guy, he's not uncertain, he's super imposed into both.

TFA sucks with out a 550 cat picture.

brantgoose: In all probability the hoarder owned even more than 550 cats, or no cats at all, or any given number of cats. It is only by looking that you can determine the existence and location of a cat. Otherwise, the wave function of the cat or cats in question is spread thinly over the universes of space and time.

Shiat like this is why I have you favorited. It's like Harry Freakstorm meets the Timecube guy.

Snarfangel: Smeggy Smurf: fireclown: a household is allowed 3 cats. The 4th indicates a 50% chance of madness, 5th indicates a 25% chance, 6 an 87.5, and so on.

This only applies if you're not in teh process of blending two households. We had 4 once everybody was together.

It also does not apply to farms. Farm kitties are a necessity.

Especially on a catnip farm.

I once made the mistake of growing catnip in my garden. Sure it was in a wire cage but did that stop the cats from shiatting everywhere? Hell no. Fast forward 4 years and the neighborhood has no shortage of catnip sprouting everywhere.

Moral of the story:
If you hate your neighbors, plant catnip.

Have you guys never watched Animal Hoarders? You don't 'have' 550 cats- you capture every cat that you see and then allow them to shiat all over your home- you can't really find a way to supply them all with clean water, and you feed them by dumping a huge bag of the cheapest cat food you can by on your floor. 25% of the cats are feral.

The most organized hoarder I ever saw on AH actually had 1 food room, 1 water room, and 1 poop room in order to keep things semi-clean. Of course, her ONLY job was staying at home cleaning up after her cats (which was a constant process). I am pretty sure most animal hoarders have some underlying psychological problems (IANAD!),

Grounds for divorce, I guess- unless you are one of those people who actually believes in 'in sickness and in health'.

That place must have looked like the ending to Sleepwalkers