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(MSNBC)   Scientists pinpoint exact date of Christ's death. Resurrection still up for debate   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line 51
    More: Cool, Christ, Richter magnitude scale, Gospel of Matthew, Dead Sea, geosciences, Pontius Pilate, archaeologists, carbon datings  
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21623 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2012 at 1:42 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-05-25 02:04:07 AM
17 votes:
i33.photobucket.com
2012-05-25 12:30:57 AM
14 votes:

goatleggedfellow: I'm still waiting for Ridley Scott's "New Testament: The Final Cut" to come out.


farm6.static.flickr.com

It's too bad he won't live. But then again, give it a few days.
2012-05-25 01:53:52 AM
10 votes:
1.bp.blogspot.com

Link is hot
2012-05-24 11:56:31 PM
10 votes:
I am more interested on the day Bat Man was born. Now there is a likable fictional character
2012-05-25 02:02:35 AM
7 votes:
Too much blasphemy here. Some things just should not be joked about.
2012-05-25 05:27:08 AM
5 votes:
i280.photobucket.com
2012-05-25 12:34:32 AM
5 votes:

goatleggedfellow: I'm still waiting for Ridley Scott's "New Testament: The Final Cut" to come out.


I have seen things you people wouldn't believe. Chariots on fire off the outskirts of Dothan.
2012-05-25 01:51:48 AM
4 votes:

Pocket Ninja: simplicimus: But the 4 Gospels in the NT are 100 or so years after the events.

Really. Wow, that's interesting, too. Maybe time went faster back in those old days.


That would explain the 6000 year old earth!
2012-05-25 12:45:16 AM
4 votes:

simplicimus: But the Romans wouldn't care. However, death by crucification usually took days, not hours. So He had to die on a schedule that would allow him to be interred before sunset.


Maybe he passed out and some jerk speared him in the liver. Probably hated how he could always look on the bright side of life.

/Or maybe that was someone else.
2012-05-25 02:14:25 AM
3 votes:
It's about faith. Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins on the cross and rose three days later?

The dates are irrelevant. It doesn't matter what some theologian thought decades or centuries later.

Jesus matters.
2012-05-25 12:28:12 PM
2 votes:
I'm still waiting for Jesus to show us his birth certificate: the REAL long-form one. Until then, I will not accept him as my Messiah.
2012-05-25 08:47:54 AM
2 votes:

COMALite J: simplicimus: FlyingLizardOfDoom: Benevolent Misanthrope: simplicimus: The date assumes Christ was born in 1CE. There's some debate about the year.

FTFY. Religious texts written centuries after their subjects supposedly lived are not a scientific primary source.

The earliest texts of the NT were written 30 years after his death, not hundreds. However, the article fails to understand that there is no way Jews of that era would have killed Jesus on a Friday.

But the Romans wouldn't care. However, death by crucification usually took days, not hours. So He had to die on a schedule that would allow him to be interred before sunset.

simplicimus: Yeah, the math is a little hinky.

That doesn't work out either. The Gospels make it quite clear that Jesus was crucified on the "Day of Preparation" immediately preceding the Sabbath (Friday morning into afternoon, since the Sabbath would start that evening − indeed, the whole point of the Roman soldiers coming along and breaking the legs of the two thieves crucified alongside Him was to hasten their deaths [by preventing them from pushing up with their legs against the pain of the feet-nail, relieving pressure on the chest from the weight of the body being supported by the arms at such an angle, and allowing both lungs and heart to continue functioning] so that they could be buried before sundown which would start the Sabbath! Jesus was already dead, allegedly of His own will, so the soldiers didn't break his legs, supposedly fulfilling a prophecy that not one bone would be broken [as was also required for the sin offering sacrificial lamb in the Mosaic Law, which Jesus's Atonement was supposed to be the ultimate version of]), and that the Resurrection happened early in the morning (at the very latest just after sunrise) on the first day of the week (Sunday).

The Sign of the Prophet Jonas (Jonah), which Jesus Himself said was the one and only sign that would be given as to the truth of His Resurrection, fails! In all four Gospel accounts! Two of them don't even allow for three days and two nights, even if you allow that a single second of a daytime or nighttime counts as a whole daytime or nighttime!

Oh, the Roman soldiers did that leg-breaking thing because the Roman Empire gave at least lip-service respect to the local religions of their subject peoples, to help prevent uprisings over religious fervor (that didn't work out so well in the case of the Jews). So, if you were condemned to be crucified and were in Judaea, Samaria, or Galilee, you'd better hope to be crucified on a Friday! Because, yes, it normally took days, not hours, unless you were "lucky" enough to be crucified on Friday (or, barring that, at least Thursday so at least your agony would only last a little over one day) so that they'd shorten your death agony to prevent a Jewish uprising in religious outrage over dead bodies remaining unburied on the Sabbath.

You Christians do realize that all of this also means that Jesus, far from having suffered the worst death of anyone ever, actually got off easy as far as the physical agony of crucifixion was concerned, right? Even the thieves with Him got off comparatively easy (compared to those crucified earlier in the week − Heaven help you if you were crucified on a Sunday!), but He got of even easier than them, having "given up the ghost" before His legs would've been broken!

So what was so great about His suffering that it enabled paying for the sins of everyone?


He was a 33 year old man who had to move in with his very judgemental dad.
2012-05-25 08:17:23 AM
2 votes:
I love this shiat.
The "science" of when some imaginary boogeyman "lived".

Fact: The "historical Christ" is brown, and puckered - like my asshole.
2012-05-25 03:53:52 AM
2 votes:
So they nailed it?
2012-05-25 03:45:08 AM
2 votes:

breathe: Still no cure for stigmata.


But there are some good prevention tips.

"Don't piss off the guys holding the hammers and nails".
2012-05-25 02:57:13 AM
2 votes:

WhyteRaven74: Kali-Yuga: Tacitus, the Roman historian's birth year at 64 C.E.

Tacitus was born in 56.


Therefore his argument is invalid? C'mon.

The importance of Jesus isn't the date he was born or died. It that He paid for our sins by dying on the cross.
2012-05-25 02:15:56 AM
2 votes:
"And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit. At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook, the rocks split and the tombs broke open."

What the hell? This is their entire basis for a serious study involving scientific experts and resources?
I'm eager to see their findings in plant species that spends it life on fire giving advice to people that walk by.
2012-05-25 02:15:28 AM
2 votes:

COMALite J: it normally took days, not hours, unless you were "lucky" enough to be crucified on Friday (or, barring that, at least Thursday so at least your agony would only last a little over one day)



You lucky bastard!
t0.gstatic.com
Lucky, lucky bastard...
2012-05-25 02:11:45 AM
2 votes:
So, all of the sudden we are trusting scientists?
2012-05-25 02:07:46 AM
2 votes:
Christian: "Lord, hear my prayer..."

God: "I'm not in right now, but if you leave a message, I will never get back to you. Beep."
2012-05-25 12:31:39 AM
2 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: simplicimus: The date assumes Christ was born in 1CE. There's some debate about the year.

FTFY. Religious texts written centuries after their subjects supposedly lived are not a scientific primary source.


The earliest texts of the NT were written 30 years after his death, not hundreds. However, the article fails to understand that there is no way Jews of that era would have killed Jesus on a Friday.
2012-05-26 06:16:37 PM
1 votes:

Todashy: Ghastly: These threads always remind me of those people who think Robin Hood existed.

Damn.

/takes down shrine in tree grown in closet.


I have a friend who is a world leading expert in Robin Hood mythologies. The most common question he gets asked in interviews was "Did Robin Hood really exist"?

The short answer is "no". The long answer is "nooooooooooooo".
2012-05-25 11:32:17 AM
1 votes:
Matthew: was written starting 16th of August, 68 A.D., and was completed 23rd of February 69 A.D.

Mark: was written starting 9th of May, 56 A.D., and was completed mid-morning on the 27th of October of the same year.

Luke: was written starting on the 15th of April, 91 A.D., and was complete between 6:43 AM and 8:22 AM, the morning of the 22nd July, 91 A.D., though it was already known in its entirety as a childrens doggeral used while playing pat-a-cake at least as early as the 22nd of December 90 A.D.

John: was written starting 6:59:22 the evening of September the 16th, 51 A.D., and was completed exactly 40 days prior, what with the miracles and all.
Skr
2012-05-25 11:08:38 AM
1 votes:
No debate. Resurrection never happened. Prometheus is the first Alien movie to happen in the last twenty six years.
2012-05-25 08:25:45 AM
1 votes:

Styro Foam: Do you believe all characters mentioned in stories exist?


of course not, if a "character" is mentioned in some voodoo religious text i can automatically assume they never existed

obviously there was no Joseph Smith, Muhammed, Buddha, L. Ron Hubbard, etc..

they are all just as real as jabberjaw

/who apparently was curly reincarnated as a shark?

because this one time garfield pushed odie off a table

therefore all xians are stupid dumb poopy heads, who are jealous of hatetheist debate skillz

word to yo mammy
2012-05-25 08:18:37 AM
1 votes:

Styro Foam: Jesus never existed, get over it.


tell me about it

there never was a Adam, Eve, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Noah, ... [list goes on for a while] ... Joseph, Mary, Mathew, Mark, Luke, John, Peter, Paul, James, Timothy, Titus, ... ugh this is taking too long

never were any jews, or greeks, romans, etc.. or any human beings before the dawn of science [so let's say before the 1700's-1800's?]

those were all just just figments of somebody's imagination because this one time wolverine battled the hulk

QED

checkmate xians, checkmate
2012-05-25 07:39:34 AM
1 votes:

MayoSlather: I always get the feeling when reading any thread on fark dealing with history that wikipedia servers suddenly get bombarded.


Only by one side. The other side works on faith alone.
2012-05-25 06:51:17 AM
1 votes:
I want to know more about the zombie saints that came out of their tombs after the earthquake. That's the cool part...
2012-05-25 06:14:04 AM
1 votes:

COMALite J: So what was so great about His suffering that it enabled paying for the sins of everyone?


When god commits suicide, god goes to hell, then leaves and everything is fine. When regular people commit suicide, they go to hell and burn for all time, because, hey, fark humans, am I right?

NobleHam: Boatmech:
Citation Needed

This is Fark, I'm not writing a farking academic paper. Look it up yourself. But simply put, events mentioned and omitted in the gospels are useful for dating them.


"I can't be bothered to pretend I had a source for any of that, but I'm happy to smugly pretend I did. Go look it up yourself so I can ignore the contradictory evidence you post and blurt my same retarded shiat in the next thread with the same egotistic lack of evidence. JESUS TAKE THE KEYBOARD, HEATHENS ARE COMING"
2012-05-25 05:15:58 AM
1 votes:
lh4.googleusercontent.com
2012-05-25 04:57:12 AM
1 votes:
i291.photobucket.com

//Hotlinked.
2012-05-25 04:08:56 AM
1 votes:
www.motifake.com
2012-05-25 03:40:17 AM
1 votes:

breathe: Still no cure for stigmata.


Band-aids and Bactine work well, actually.
2012-05-25 03:38:15 AM
1 votes:
Still no cure for stigmata.
2012-05-25 03:35:18 AM
1 votes:
So everyone is good with the part where Jesus turns into a zombie with delusions of grandeur?
2012-05-25 02:45:47 AM
1 votes:

Relatively Obscure: goatleggedfellow: I'm still waiting for Ridley Scott's "New Testament: The Final Cut" to come out.

[farm6.static.flickr.com image 140x250]

It's too bad he won't live. But then again, give it a few days.


You've done a Son of Man's job, sir.
2012-05-25 02:44:27 AM
1 votes:
The Bible describes Earth's creation. Earth exists. Q.E.D. Jesus haters
2012-05-25 02:38:31 AM
1 votes:

Brainsick: malaktaus: Decades, not centuries, in the cases of most of the New Testament. And the subject of Christ's existence is outside the purview of science. It is history, and it meets historical standards; almost everything else could be made up out of whole cloth, more or less, but he certainly existed.

I think you need to go read Bart Ehrman's book (any of them) and get back to us. Jesus doesn't show up in historical Roman documents and there's not a single mention of any of the very public events he was allegedly involved in (beating money-changers, miracle healings, etc) either. You'd think SOMEONE would have made a note, even if it was the equivalent of a police blotter. I think the teachings attributed to him are fine and most of the social propaganda is harmless, but let's not pretend there's some 'historical standard' that exists outside of 'real person'. Otherwise, there is as much (or more) documentation that King Arthur was 'real' and is coming back, so you may want to polish your armor.


Are you high? How many unimportant ephemeral documents from that period survive? I think we can discount the miracles as bullshiat, but it's not like we can look through a roll of microfiche for the report of an assault in the Temple on page 5. He wasn't an emperor or a general, he was probably very unimportant in his day. It would be bizarre if there was more direct evidence of his existence than there is. Most everything else about his story is questionable, but yeah, he lived. The story we have is, I think, like an ancient game of 'telephone,' which began as a simple story of a carpenter with unusual ideas who met a bad end and quickly grew into something more.
2012-05-25 02:33:32 AM
1 votes:

KrispyKritter: Barbecue Bob: Corporate Self: cman: I am more interested on the day Bat Man was born. Now there is a likable fictional character

Most scholars conclude Jesus, like Buddha and Mohammad, was a real person. This does not validate all the is written about Him, but to calling Jesus fictional goes against the opinions of most historians.

Most Christian historians is more likely.
...and just because the majority believe something is fact doesn't make it fact.

Where is your proof of such a human ever existing?

Anyway, what asshat allowed that article to be in the science section?
Is this entire planet completely insane?

silly rabbit. if JC never walked the earth performing miracles witnessed by others he never would have grown a following. without JC there never would have been the Jesus movement that grew into Christianity. from small seeds big trees grow. a cult does not evolve into a religion choice for millions without cause, over time.


"Anyway, what asshat allowed that article to be in the science section?" - you might want to read the title of TFA.


L. Ron Hubbard would like to have a word with you.
2012-05-25 02:18:21 AM
1 votes:

phrawgh: Chiad: phrawgh: Pocket Ninja: simplicimus: But the 4 Gospels in the NT are 100 or so years after the events.

Really. Wow, that's interesting, too. Maybe time went faster back in those old days.

That would explain the 6000 year old earth!

Sun used to go around the earth also, until we figured out telescopes and God decided (in his infinite wisdom) to give us some more room to explore. It's just like when god made the earth round so Columbus wouldn't fall off and gave us that big empty continent full of things to exploit.

I see... So God is kinda like Sid Meier?


Almost suspiciously.
2012-05-25 02:16:35 AM
1 votes:

Chiad: phrawgh: Pocket Ninja: simplicimus: But the 4 Gospels in the NT are 100 or so years after the events.

Really. Wow, that's interesting, too. Maybe time went faster back in those old days.

That would explain the 6000 year old earth!

Sun used to go around the earth also, until we figured out telescopes and God decided (in his infinite wisdom) to give us some more room to explore. It's just like when god made the earth round so Columbus wouldn't fall off and gave us that big empty continent full of things to exploit.


I see... So God is kinda like Sid Meier?
2012-05-25 02:06:45 AM
1 votes:
Good...Now can Easter stand the Fark still and be on the same date every year, please?
2012-05-25 02:03:34 AM
1 votes:

Buffet: Too much blasphemy here. Some things just should not be joked about.


You'll get over it.
2012-05-25 02:02:54 AM
1 votes:
Goddamit, go away Jesus!
2012-05-25 01:59:31 AM
1 votes:
Yes, yes. So some guys calling themselves scientists think that maybe there might have possibly been an earthquake sometime within a decade that sorta accords with the story of Jesus's cruxifiction. Or something.

But really guys, lets spend out time on something worthwhile!

Like pinpointing some good solid information regarding the weight of Thor's Hammer. I mean, not even the Hulk could pick it up!
2012-05-25 01:55:55 AM
1 votes:

goatleggedfellow: smells_like_meat: Pocket Ninja: The New Testament was written centuries after Christ lived? That's interesting.

simplicimus: But the 4 Gospels in the NT are 100 or so years after the events

Or more. And have been endlessly massaged and rewritten.

I'm still waiting for Ridley Scott's "New Testament: The Final Cut" to come out.


Is it still going to have Jesus' annoying voiceover?
2012-05-25 01:53:39 AM
1 votes:

simplicimus: The date assumes Christ was born in 1CE. There's some debate about the year.


Didn't you read the article? It's "A.D."

/surprised secular, communist, Christian hating MSNBC would use that outdated term.
2012-05-25 01:46:18 AM
1 votes:
So Noah was elbows deep into beastiality for 40 days and nights and Jesus only got be a zombie for 40 days. So which one was god's son, anyway?

/they both got rickrolled
2012-05-25 12:40:44 AM
1 votes:

FlyingLizardOfDoom: Benevolent Misanthrope: simplicimus: The date assumes Christ was born in 1CE. There's some debate about the year.

FTFY. Religious texts written centuries after their subjects supposedly lived are not a scientific primary source.

The earliest texts of the NT were written 30 years after his death, not hundreds. However, the article fails to understand that there is no way Jews of that era would have killed Jesus on a Friday.


But if the Romans did it wouldn't that make it kosher?
2012-05-25 12:27:59 AM
1 votes:

smells_like_meat: Pocket Ninja: The New Testament was written centuries after Christ lived? That's interesting.

simplicimus: But the 4 Gospels in the NT are 100 or so years after the events

Or more. And have been endlessly massaged and rewritten.


I'm still waiting for Ridley Scott's "New Testament: The Final Cut" to come out.
2012-05-25 12:00:33 AM
1 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: simplicimus: The date assumes Christ was born in 1CE. There's some debate about the year.

FTFY. Religious texts written centuries after their subjects supposedly lived are not a scientific primary source.


The New Testament was written centuries after Christ lived? That's interesting.
 
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