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(BBC)   Poland suffers its first casulty of Iraq war as Polish soldier killed. Contrary to earlier reports, cause of death was ambush and not screen door in submarine   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 103
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1906 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Nov 2003 at 6:16 PM (10 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-11-06 02:41:12 PM
Or a dart from that inflatable dartboard set...
 
2003-11-06 02:44:27 PM
Perhaps a pedal-powered wheelchair accident?
 
2003-11-06 02:47:36 PM
A Pole, English, and French guy are running away from the Iraq soldiers when they come up to a forest and they decide to hide by each climing a tree.

When the Iraqis arrive, they go to the first tree
where the English guy is, and shout, "We know you're up there; come down."

The English guy, thinking fast, says, "Twit, twit, twit..."

The Iraqis, thinking that it's a bird, move on to the next tree where the French guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down."

The French guy, thinking fast, says, "Woo, woo, woo..."

The Iraqis, thinking that it's an owl, move on to the next tree where the Polish guy is and once again shout, "We know you're up there; come down."

The Polish guy thinks for a while and then says, "Moo, moo, moo..."
 
2003-11-06 02:52:58 PM
"How many Pollacks it take to screw up a lightbulb?"

"I don't know, Glen. One?"

"Nope, it takes three."

"Wait a minute, I told it wrong. Here, I'm startin' over: How come it takes three Pollacks to screw up a lightbulb?"

"I don't know, Glen."

"Cause they're so darn stupid!"
 
2003-11-06 03:18:49 PM
...so Poland decides to help us, and we make fun of them when one of their men dies.

You guys all suck.
 
2003-11-06 03:32:00 PM
Listen here, I'm Polish, so I'm the only one who gets to tell Polish jokes here. It's hate speech for the rest of you, but it's OK for me. Didn't anybody ever explain that to you? Oh, and I submitted this article and wrote the headline, so that's OK too, since it was a Polish guy who did it, and not some hater.

On that note:

This guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like a couple pounds of Polish sausage, please." The clerk looks at him and says: "Polish sausage? You must be Polish, right?"

This pisses the guy off. "Well, it so happens that I am Polish," he says. "But I don't see what that has to do with it. It's bullshiat that you ask me if I'm Polish just because I order Polish sausage. If I came in here in and asked for Italian sausage, would you say, 'Oh, you must be Italian'?"

"No, probably not," the clerk admits.

"Well, what if I came in here and asked for chorizo? Would you assume that I was Mexican?" The clerk shugs and says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

"Then why in the hell," the guy asks, "do you assume that I'm Polish just because I walked in here and asked for Polish sausage?"

The clerk responds, "Because this is a hardware store."

*******************
Thanks, I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
 
2003-11-06 03:55:44 PM
kudos for headline writer...
 
2003-11-06 04:04:37 PM
thank you cyberluddite for my laugh out loud moment of the day...
 
2003-11-06 04:13:06 PM
Dang, you guys covered every Polish joke I can remember!
 
2003-11-06 04:16:39 PM
that was awesome cyberluddite. simply awesome.
 
2003-11-06 05:28:23 PM
Guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I've got the greatest Pollock joke you've ever heard."

The bartender replies, "Look buddy, the guy to your left is a former professional football player and he's Polish. The guy to your right, he used to play pro hockey and he's Polish, too. And furthermore, I'm Polish. Got it?".

The guys say, "Ok, Ok. I'll tell it real slow."
 
2003-11-06 05:31:52 PM
The alternative punch line for your joke, Zabbadizzat, is "O.K., forget it then. I don't want to have to explain it three times."
 
2003-11-06 05:56:34 PM
attaboy, Cyberluddite
 
2003-11-06 06:06:58 PM
My dad is Polish. My mom, who was Irish, used to tell Polish jokes at dinner. The best part was that he often didn't understand them ;-)
 
2003-11-06 06:14:38 PM
I don't have anything against making fun of polish people (or whites, blacks, asians, mexicans, whatever) I just think is sucks that this guy died and we're all making fun of him.
 
2003-11-06 06:20:31 PM
We aren't making fun of him, we are making fun of his ethnic heritage in general. Him specifically I am saddened by and I dont think he should have ever been over there. Poles though, on the other hand, are hilarious. Did you hear last week a 2 seater private plane crashed into a large Polish cemetary? The Fire Dept has reported recovering over 300 bodies and are still digging.....
 
2003-11-06 06:23:39 PM
HAHHAHAHAHA, That's farking hilarious, a soldier got shot and you made a joke about his nationality!!! CLASSIC! It's funny because he's not American! shiatface.

*never wanted this goddamned war to begin with*
 
2003-11-06 06:26:52 PM
The person we should be making fun of here is George Bush, although he does that himself unintentionally. I'm personally ashamed he's from Texas. There Natalie, I said it for ya... Ya know, when John Paul II was elected pope, it was only because of an earlier deadlock. They couldn't decide on which Italian, so they took a Pole.
 
2003-11-06 06:29:06 PM
I though Pollack jokes went out with "jews burning in ovens" jokes.
 
2003-11-06 06:31:31 PM
A polish guy is driving past a field of wheat when he sees another polish man rowing a boat in the middle of the field, no water for miles and miles.

The guy stops his car and gets out.

He yells to the pole rowing the boat, 'Hey moron, people are already making fun of us cause we're dumb...if I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass.
 
2003-11-06 06:31:50 PM
The force of 9,000 Poles have more balls than all the democrats in America put together.

THAT, indeed, is sad.
 
2003-11-06 06:33:03 PM
The Poles are a freedom loving people who value what we are trying to accomplish in Iraq. On a different message board there is a frequent poster who is Polish and all he talks about is how great America is and how hopeful he is that he can secure a visa so that he can move his family here. He is not a poor man either. He has been saving for years to make this move. New Europe rocks Old Europe and Canada sucks.
 
2003-11-06 06:35:50 PM
Must've been the helicopter ejection seat...gets 'em every time.
 
2003-11-06 06:35:50 PM
Does anybody have that Photoshop of a submarine with a screen door on the side? That's one of the funniest PSes I've ever seen.

Rob
 
2003-11-06 06:37:14 PM
I'm also Polish so i get to tell jokes without going to hell(Like all you will) I made this one up, so be kind

In WW1 the allies fought hard and took the town of ypres because if the germans took it they could use its channel to build submarines and launch them into the belgium sea

If we Polaks were in charge we wouldlet the germans take the city and its channel and let them build up a great fleet of submarines

Then we'd drain the channel

But then of course, the germans would come up with soemthing equally crafty, like filling the submarines with helium, floating over the allied troops, opening a window, and squishing them

About the soldier, I feel very bad. In Poland you dont have a choice. Once you turn 18 they say "you just joined the army". Probably just some kid who didn't want to be their in the first place
 
2003-11-06 06:37:30 PM
I wonder what dumb ruse the Americans used on the Poles to trick them into joining them in Iraq.
 
2003-11-06 06:40:02 PM
As a Polish Jew, I am free to tell both Pollack jokes AND Jew-burning-in-oven jokes. My life is awesome.
 
2003-11-06 06:40:11 PM
Key_Master, maybe switched the names of Iraq and Poland on the map.
 
2003-11-06 06:42:15 PM
Key_Master: They said that going to war means you have balls, or something like that. At least every argument has been that in one form or another. Buncha idiots.
 
2003-11-06 06:42:18 PM
Was he horse mounted?
 
2003-11-06 06:44:11 PM
what do you call a polish mongoloid with one leg?

the Polaroid One-Step

-and que rimshot
 
2003-11-06 06:46:51 PM
Amen Tinian!

There is a great scene from some recent WWI movie, the Lost Battalion, I think? In which thee Americans are stuck in a foxhole. Two of them start ragging on the third cause he's Polish (accent and everything). Well, they finaly bring the kid to tears and he lets out on the other two guys verbally. He describes how his family (who was Jewish I think) were always given a hard time in Poland for not being Polish (ethnicaly). He describes horrible abuses. Finaly he explains that his parents promised him that when the made it to America everything would change, be better. The kids professes to LOVE America. He then reminds them that the President promised in his last radio address that anyone who fought in the war would be an "real American hero". He says he doesnt care about being a hero, he just wants to be an American. Well the other two, an Italian and and Irishman, likily, both feel awful, of course. They all get a group hug. Then a mortar lands and kills them all.

Well, I dont know if I got the scene right or not. But anyone making fun of this Polish soldiers should feel just awful right now.

On the other hand... how many Poles does it take to screw UP a light bulb had me snorting Coke. HA!
 
2003-11-06 06:47:06 PM
It does suck that the guy died, robbyking (that's why I used the tag). It also sucks that 300+ (and more every day) American soldiers have been killed just so their farkwad commander-in-chief can dress up in a flightsuit and shovel a bunch of money to Halliburton and his other campaign contributors. And, of course, it sucks that 10,000 or more innocent Iraqi civilians have been killed as "collateral damage."

But nobody's saying "hey, cool, a Polack got killed." Nobody's saying it was a good thing. Nobody is, as you put it "making fun of him." His nationality is simply an obvious opportunity for humor. It's not a sacred cow.

Would his family be bothered by reading this thread? Probably. But they won't be reading it, most likely. And if the criterion we're going to use as to whether something is appropriate around here is whether subject of article (or his/her family) would approve of what's being said, then we're only going to see about 2 or 3 links per day greenlighted for the main page.
 
2003-11-06 06:48:05 PM
mabgrac
"The Poles are a freedom loving people who value what we are trying to accomplish in Iraq."

This is complete and utter bullshiat(except the freedom loving people.I live in Canada right now but still keep in touch with relatives and EVERYONE was against the war. Not just the family, friends too, I dont think 1 person in the entire town supported it, and the Polish president is to Poland what Tony Blair is to Britain. Hes bushs lackey

PS. All of new Europe hates america. Same with Canada. And Old europe. And every other country
 
2003-11-06 06:48:55 PM
I see nothing wrong with ethnic based humor.

Of course doing so in the course of talking about a soldier who is killed while fighting the evil thugs in Iraq tends to show that a person is a huge bag of shiat.

Anyone, Polish themselves or not who would choose this moment to tell Polish jokes has no class and wouldn't be worthy to wipe the mud off the boots of any private in that soldier's outfit.
 
2003-11-06 06:51:50 PM
2003-11-06 06:31:50 PM Tinian

The force of 9,000 Poles have more balls than all the democrats in America put together.


And they have 18000 more balls than the Chinckenhawk-in-Chief.

THAT, indeed, is sad.

Yeah, but not surprising, unless a few were in the Reserves and deserted.

That said, I've been to Poland a number of times and loved it. The beer is good and the people are friendly, especially if you can speak a bit of Polish (which I could, at the time.)
 
2003-11-06 06:52:31 PM
2003-11-06 06:40:02 PM Queen Mushroom
As a Polish Jew, I am free to tell both Pollack jokes AND Jew-burning-in-oven jokes. My life is awesome.


All you need to do now is go to law school, and you would pretty much have the whole humor perspective covered. As a Polish lawyer, I have pretty decent joke-telling immunity myself. My wife is Jewish (and also a lawyer), and though she's not Mexican or French she was a resident of both Mexico and France for a while, so that's probably the next best thing. Between the two of us, we have very broad joke-telling immunity.
 
2003-11-06 06:55:33 PM
Funny, I don't recall seeing any niglet jokes about american casualties...
 
2003-11-06 06:55:44 PM
"Anyone, Polish themselves or not who would choose this moment to tell Polish jokes has no class and wouldn't be worthy to wipe the mud off the boots of any private in that soldier's outfit"

Theres numerous soldiers in one outift? I dont get it
 
2003-11-06 06:55:48 PM
Polands support for King Georgie's and the Knights of the Neocon Roundtable=$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Nothing more. I feel sorry for all the soldiers families who die over there. Such a waste and such a shame.
How about farkin Bush send his daughers over there for some combat duty. I'm sure Rumsfeld has grandsons and granddaughters who are interested in "freeing" the Iraqis. Does Paul Wolfowitz have any kids? Howsabout we send them over to Tikrit for a six month tour of duty. And Richard Perle.....why don't we bandy him up in some combat gear and parachute him into the Sunni Triangle?
Farkers.
 
2003-11-06 06:56:44 PM
bongfarmer... respectfully, you are full of carp. Just because YOUR set of relatives (I mean, come on, Bongfarmer? Like we dont know your political background instantly) was against the war means nothing. I was in Ireland in Feb and most everyone I met was for the war and behind the US, but statistacly the country is against the war. Similarly, everyone that you talk to is against the war, but statistcaly the nation is for the war. Also, statisticaly, New Europe was right there with the US and very pissed at France, who told them to "shut up" if they wanted to play in Europe. Similarly, we are not in Iraq "unilateraly" and never war. The International Battalion is comprised of soldiers from 26+ nations. And to Cyberludite, this war was NOT about Dubya getting to wear a flight suit again (although he took that perk). It is about removing a despot, shaking up the mid east with a bit o freedom and democracy (if they will let us help them to get it and if they can keep it), and removing a self admitted enemy of the US. Terrorism comes from desperation and failure, economic and social, which comes from tyranny and oppression, which come from Conservative/Facist Islam and the dictators who hide behind it. And THAT was why Blair was for this war... far from being Bush's "lackey" he actually pushed Bush to stop trying to ignore the region b4 9-11 and pushed him to accept the idea of "nation building" after it. Please dont parot the idiot left view of this war. If you want to talk about "acceptable losses", exit strategies, etc. Fine. But dont claim that "the world was against it" or that even the Iraqi's are. A recent poll from Baghdad has pro-US support well over 50%. Now, I will let YOU spend your time googling all this. But you best do so if you dont want to sound vapid. Thanks.
 
2003-11-06 06:58:19 PM
"Polands support for King Georgie's and the Knights of the Neocon Roundtable=$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"

We needed a bigger airforce to join the EU. America offered a good deal for aircraft if we gave our support

I feel like a whore
 
2003-11-06 06:58:47 PM
TiminPhoenix

Gallows humor is doubleplus ungood, right?

Rob
 
2003-11-06 07:01:47 PM
"but statistcaly the nation is for the war"

Nope. But the president was. Statistically the POlish citizens were against war
 
2003-11-06 07:02:18 PM
Here's something I picked up off of democraticunderground.com the other day. It was so similar to the stuff leftists post here I had to check to make sure I wasn't looking at Fark. Gotta love those leftists.

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Democratic Underground Forums "DU2"


I Hope the Bloodshed Continues in Iraq
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Original message


Starpass (1000+ posts) Tue Nov-04-03 07:01 PM
Original message
I Hope the Bloodshed Continues in Iraq


Well, that should bring the bats out of the attic with fangs dripping. I won't be hypocritcal. It is politically correct, particularly in any Dem discussion to hope and pray and feel for our troops and scream "bring them back now". I'm fighting something bigger.

I'm a 58 year old broad and I can tell you that what is going on in our country isn't the usual ebb and flow of politics where one party is in power and then another; where the economy goes through ups and downs.......yawn, yawn--just wait a bit and things will turn out peachy keen. That stupid la-la land is over.

I realize that not every GI Joe was 100peeercent behind Prseeedent Booosh going into this war; but I do know that that is what an overwhelming number of them and their famlies screamed in the face of protesters who were trying to protect these kids. Well, there is more than one way to be "dead" for your country. They are not only not accompishing squat in Iraq, they are doing crap nothing for the safety, defense of the US of A over there directly. But "indirectly" they are doing a lot.

The only way to get rid of this slime bag WASP-Mafia, oil barron ridden cartel of a government, this assault on Americans and anything one could laughingly call "a democracy", relies heavily on what a shiat hole Iraq turns into. They need to die so that we can be free. Soldiers usually did that directly--i.e., fight those invading and harming a country. This time they need to die in defense of a lie from a lying adminstration to show these ignorant, dumb Americans that Bush is incompetent. They need to die so that Americans get rid of this deadly scum. It is obscene, Barbie Bush, how other sons (of much nobler blood) have to die to save us from your Rosemary's Baby spawn and his ungodly cohorts.

----------

Isn't that cute?
 
2003-11-06 07:03:26 PM
Stop using "New Europe" like it's a legitimate term.
 
2003-11-06 07:05:16 PM
I'm actually shocked that he wasn't killed by an American.
 
2003-11-06 07:05:35 PM
I love jokes about the Poles. They never get old. God love the French.
 
2003-11-06 07:07:07 PM
"Anyone, Polish themselves or not who would choose this moment to tell Polish jokes has no class and wouldn't be worthy to wipe the mud off the boots of any private in that soldier's outfit"

i agree. all you polish people degrading your own countrymen, you're not true poles, you're just a bunch of farken retards. go back to your holes and die
 
2003-11-06 07:15:30 PM
PS. All of new Europe hates america. Same with Canada. And Old europe. And every other country.

You're in Canada, huh? Did you know that 90% of Canada's population lives within 100 miles of the US and that 85% of Canada's corporations are US owned? God, if I was a Canadian in search of some speck of sovereignty, I'd hate America too.
 
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