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(Fark)   Subby got a warning, instead of a ticket this morning. Have you ever talked your way out of a ticket before? How? What were you doing wrong?   (fark.com ) divider line
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1345 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2012 at 12:38 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-23 12:32:08 PM  
I get pulled over two or three times a year. Usually don't get a ticket. Three key things:

1. When pulled over, put both front windows down. Turn off the engine (so they know you won't flee). Remove the key and put it on the dash (so they know the car isn't hot-wired). Put both hands on the steering wheel, open/flat so they can see you're not holding anything. Calms the cop down.

2. Don't lie.

3. Don't admit to speeding if they didn't have a radar gun or get a 3/8th of a mile pace. Most people doing, say, 20 mph over the limit will say they were only doing 10 over and get written for that.

I've been pulled over doing more than double the speed limit and didnt' get a ticket. I'd passed a cop stopped by the side of the road, I knew he'd never catch me, saw another cop heading the other way who was obviously turning around to come after me, slowed way down and made it easy for them.

20 minutes back and forth, of them trying to get me to admit how fast I was going, including the "friendly cop who loves motorcycles" routine. Nope, not going to admit to anything. No ticket.
 
2012-05-23 12:33:25 PM  
I got pulled over on New Year's Day at 2:30 AM, after having sobered up from sharing a bottle of champagne with a friend. Turns out that my headlight was out, and the cop just wrote me a ticket for that. But he clearly was suspicious that I was driving drunk, especially because I spent about 5 minutes trying to find my damn registration (had recently transferred states and didn't remember what the damn thing looked like).

He gave me a ticket for the headlight, and in New York if you get it fixed within 24 hours you can get a letter from the police forgiving the ticket. Because it was New Year's Day, essentially every auto shop was closed, so I went down to the police station to PROMISE that I would get it fixed as soon as possible. He said sure, and signed the form.
 
2012-05-23 12:34:10 PM  
I've been pulled over 6 times for speeding and only have 2 tickets, I've always kinda joked around when they ask do you know why i pulled you over.

/don't speed much anymore
//also got pulled over for some BS and had 3 marijuana pipes and fireworks (illegal here) and they just took my shiat and let me go
/// not sure how I got that lucky as I am a guy and not that attractive
 
2012-05-23 12:34:32 PM  
My friend was flashing her hoo-ha and drunkenly passed out in the middle of 42nd Street and I told the officer that she was hypoglycemic and that I would get her into a cab, which I managed to do. Actually, it's probably the one place that they will not arrest you or harrass you for being completely out of your skull, I guess they just assume you are a tourist.
 
2012-05-23 12:36:03 PM  
The Burger King story reminds me of the time i was at a park, "parked", my boyfriend and I fully enjoying the benefits of the tinted windows (legal), and the cops roll up. I moved into the passenger seat, buttoned up my shirt, and we talked to them very politely. They checked our id's, we were legal and local, and they told us to "carry on."

We then watched from afar as they busted a carload of teens with a trunkload of beer.
 
2012-05-23 12:36:30 PM  

Aarontology: I don't get caught.

Once you figure out where the cops like to hide and their shift schedules, it's pretty easy to avoid them altogether.


This.

Seriously though it's not hard to avoid getting busted for speeding. Speed up in areas where there aren't any hiding places, slow down in areas where there are hiding places, slow down at intersections where a cop might be, never go more than 9 over on a freeway (except in instances where you can see clearly for a mile or so), and if a cop stops you don't say anything except maybe Hi.

If they stop you and ask you if you knew don't reply, they want you to admit guilt. If you say nothing it's possible they will let you off with a warning. Probably not. Just don't get caught.
 
2012-05-23 12:36:46 PM  
I was pulled over for speeding when I was in my mid-twenties. I was so scared, I cried when the police officer approached me. I was let off with a warning.

/has not been caught speeding ever since
 
2012-05-23 12:36:57 PM  

Keigh: The Burger King story reminds me of the time i was at a park, "parked", my boyfriend and I fully enjoying the benefits of the tinted windows (legal), and the cops roll up. I moved into the passenger seat, buttoned up my shirt, and we talked to them very politely. They checked our id's, we were legal and local, and they told us to "carry on."

We then watched from afar as they busted a carload of teens with a trunkload of beer.


Pictures of this or it failed to happen.
 
2012-05-23 12:37:47 PM  

aquigley: cackylacky paging cackylacky


HIGH SCORE: talked my way out of a 52 in a 35 in Beulaville, NC. Now that doesn't sound like such a big achievement unless you know small-town eastern NC cops.

I am GOOD.
 
2012-05-23 12:38:10 PM  

brap: I told the officer that she was hypoglycemic and that I would get her into a cab, which I managed to do.


Good on you, man. That's a solid friend move.

I doubt the cop believed you. But he probably let you go on that excuse so he wouldn't have to deal with it.
 
2012-05-23 12:38:48 PM  

cackylacky: HIGH SCORE: talked my way out of a 52 in a 35 in Beulaville, NC. Now that doesn't sound like such a big achievement unless you know small-town eastern NC cops.

I am GOOD.


How low-cut was your top? Be honest.
 
2012-05-23 12:39:35 PM  
I was actually going to be arrested for going 132 in a 55 but an accident happened 1/2 a mile down the highway while I was waiting and the officer had to be the first on scene.

My friend's mom was letting me drive her 1964 Dodge with a 480, my car was a 1983 Toyota Starlet which I had to floor to get to 55. I was pulled over just after I get on the highway, had no idea how fast I was going.

I've been given warning a few times since, probably for having paperwork in order and enough contrition.
 
2012-05-23 12:39:49 PM  

MisterRonbo: I get pulled over two or three times a year. Usually don't get a ticket. Three key things:

1. When pulled over, put both front windows down. Turn off the engine (so they know you won't flee). Remove the key and put it on the dash (so they know the car isn't hot-wired). Put both hands on the steering wheel, open/flat so they can see you're not holding anything. Calms the cop down.


I'm white and live in Minnesota I don't have to do hardly any of those things
 
2012-05-23 12:40:38 PM  
Motorcycle cop was radaring a busy surface street during rush hour this morning. A 45 mph zone suddenly dropped to 40 mph, as people slowed down even further to compensate. This caused my commute to back up and cost me an extra 10 minutes on a usually 20 minute commute.

PRO-TIP: I realize you guys want to look busy as we approach the end of the month, but throwing out radar on a busy thoroughfare during the busiest time of the day isn't going to result in many tickets, geniuses. People are already backed up and not able to speed. Doing this doesn't help improve either the public safety OR the revenue for Maricopa County or the city of Tempe. All it does is fark up traffic even more and make you look like a jerkoff. Jerkoff.
 
2012-05-23 12:40:56 PM  
I could not talk with my mouth full.
/at least I didn't get the ticket.
 
2012-05-23 12:41:50 PM  

Kyro: cackylacky: HIGH SCORE: talked my way out of a 52 in a 35 in Beulaville, NC. Now that doesn't sound like such a big achievement unless you know small-town eastern NC cops.

I am GOOD.

How low-cut was your top? Be honest.


If I depended on boobs instead of friendliness and a genuine interest in people, then I'd be in big trouble.

But, if I had big boobs I would rule the world.
 
2012-05-23 12:42:33 PM  
I transported some illegal weed killer over an international border this weekend. I managed to please ignorance and the border agent let me through with it because it wasn't too much (about 3 litres/quarts).
 
2012-05-23 12:42:36 PM  
...what, no Hagar fans here? C'mon, that was excellent
 
2012-05-23 12:42:39 PM  
CSB:

Friend of mine got pulled over for speeding. Cop asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" My very white friend replies "Because I'm black."

Cop stutters, gets angry, and tells my friend to "get the hell out of here."

No ticket!
 
2012-05-23 12:42:42 PM  
I was speeding after leaving a Scouting event at a local Boy Scout Camp and my uniform was hanging up in the back seat of the car. The cop asked me if I was in a hurry and I told him that I was not and had just been a bit careless. He saw the uniform, asked me about my troop, and after a few minutes talking about scouting (he had been an Eagle Scout) he told me to be careful and drive under the speed limit and sent me on my way.
 
2012-05-23 12:43:00 PM  
Cop: Why were you going so fast?

Me: Guy in that blue truck was doing 50 in the one lane section and speeds up to 120 in the two lane sections. If I didn't pass him at 130 on this stretch I'd be stuck behind him in this next one lane stretch until after LIon's Bay.

Cop: You're local. You know this highway well. I can tell. Guys like that piss me off too.

Let off with a warning.

(got a ticket two weekends ago but DIDN'T go to jail so I'm happy about that one too!)
 
2012-05-23 12:43:26 PM  
I raced a cop when the light turned green. Blew his doors off. He pulled me over laughing his ass off. He couldn't believe it. He ran my license and it was all good. He said "Don't ever race cops. You're making me look bad." and he pointed to a parking lot where two other cops cars were sitting. It was hilarious. He let me go with a warning.

/white
 
2012-05-23 12:43:31 PM  
One time I tailgated an unmarked cop car which was hovering under the speed limit in the left lane. I'm pretty sure my car reeked of pot too. I was pulled over and not much happened. I didn't even get a warning.
 
2012-05-23 12:43:53 PM  
You don't talk your way out of a ticket. The cop has already decided whether or not he's going to give you one, based on several factors:

* Has he or she filed enough tickets to meet the standard that isn't a quota but will still be held against him or her at a performance evaluation?
* Did he or she have a bad morning/enough coffee/an argument with a SO this morning?
* Is he or she just an asshole?
* Are you brown?

Plenty more, but the upshot is the cop decided before you put your car in park whether you were going to get a ticket. You might be able to talk yourself INTO a ticket if you're an ass, but you can't talk your way out of one.

Best advice:

* Be polite.
* Don't answer any questions ("Do you know why I pulled you over?" or "Do you know how fast you were going?")
* Don't consent to any search of your vehicle.
* Be polite.
* Inform the officer of what you're going to do- "I'm going to reach into my back pocket for my wallet." "My proof of insurance is in the glove box. I'm reaching for it now."
* Did I say be polite?
 
2012-05-23 12:44:11 PM  

bigpete53: I got a warning in northern Texas while driving from Lincoln, NE to Fort Worth, TX. I was going 83 in a 60 (55?) at night. I honestly don't remember the speed limit because every Texas road has something like four speed limits based on what you're driving and the time of day.

Anyhow, I told the cop I was on my way home from collage and going through Texas to pick up my friend at SMU and head back to Sacramento. He asked if I went to OU, and I told him I hated OU and I'd be out of his great state in about 24 hours.

Came back about three minutes later with a warning and a "have a nice night."


Hating OU is what got you out of that one.
 
2012-05-23 12:44:59 PM  
I once was pulled over by a Seattle pig for driving a stolen truck. Funny thing is, I had owned it for the past several years. He was pissed when at 2am he didn't get anything but laughed at by an 18 year old kid.
 
2012-05-23 12:45:05 PM  

The_Sponge: LineNoise: Yes, a ton of times, speeding. Being cool with the cop, saying you are sorry, and not being a tool helps.


Seconded. My approach is that I can't talk my way out of a ticket, but I can make things worse my talking too much. Even when I did receive a ticket, they took it down to five over just because I was chill.

First ticket: Doing 85 or so in a 70, officer took it down to 75.

Second ticket: Doing 77 in a 60, took it down to 65.


My personal favorite. I blew past a speed trap in a rental car. I knew I was going fast, but I didn't realize HOW fast (a touch over 100). I pulled over before he had even turned on his lights and pulled out to come get me.

He comes up to the car and goes, "Well, clearly you know what you did wrong. Now my question is WHY?"
"I'll admit sir, I have a heavy foot, but I had no idea a Kia would go that fast until I saw you and looked down"
 
2012-05-23 12:45:08 PM  
I was going out with my girlfriend to take some naughty photos of her in various places. Prepped a couple outfits for her, had a few drinks. It was morning time. Anyways, someone saw some boobs as they were driving by and called the cops. So they pulled us over (we were on bicycles) and there was me, notably drunk. Also I had my conceal carry gun on me, which your not supposed to have while drinking.

I just tried to be respectful, gave him my permit. He threatened to take us in for the nudity and gun and whatnot but in the end the GF was cute and flirty, which I think helped. They have me my gun back and told me to go home. There was two cops, one big black guy and one tiny white guy. The black cop told us to find a more secluded spot to take nude photos next time. He seemed highly amused. It was the tiny white cop that got all angry and threatening. He also pointed my gun at me while he tried to disarm my gun, and then had to ask me how to do it. I think that helped set him off.

In the end, we went home and took photos in our backyard instead.
 
2012-05-23 12:45:08 PM  
Ex-wife was clocked doing 80 in a 65, cop followed her onto the offramp where she ran a stop sign, ran another stop sign, was pulled over and had expired plates. She burst into a wailing cray and he got back into his cruiser and drove off. Admittedly she was pretty attractive

I, however, got a ticket in the same town in my driveway by my neighbor the week I moved to town for doing 42 in a 30 on a rural county road at 10pm.
 
2012-05-23 12:45:23 PM  
I was originally pulled over for DWH, but then the officer got to the door and saw that I didn't look very hispanic. He let me go with a reminder to drive safely and a warning to not be so hispanic.
 
2012-05-23 12:45:29 PM  
I had a lot of luck with speeding tickets early on, maybe 3or 4 warnings but since I turned 30 (5 years ago now) I have received three speeding tickets and one dui. I rolled through a stop sign in my neighborhood after dinner and a couple of drinks. blew a .09, spent a night in jail, and around 10K. never again, I stopped drinking completely.
 
2012-05-23 12:45:34 PM  
I was reentering America at the Mexican border. I had about half an ounce of weed stashed in the trunk. The border patrol lady was questioning me and flashing her flashlight in my car and at my eyes. I was starting to get a little nervous. All of a sudden, there was some fracas a few cars away and she left to see what was happening. I punched the gas and bailed. No problem.
 
2012-05-23 12:45:38 PM  
135 on 280 at 2 AM.
 
2012-05-23 12:45:40 PM  
I don't know if it's luck, or if I'm just a good driver, but I have never been pulled over by the cops.
 
2012-05-23 12:45:46 PM  
I had a cop toss my license and insurance card back at me, saying: "If I didn't have to get to an accident, you'd be getting a ticket." This was after my tires chirped leaving a four-way stop covered in sand and knowing the farking cop was behind me.

Two months later I received a ticket in the mail for "Unnecessary acceleration."

I called to biatch and was informed that police have up to 90 days to issue a citation after a traffic stop.
 
2012-05-23 12:46:03 PM  

tricycleracer: CSB:

Friend of mine got pulled over for speeding. Cop asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" My very white friend replies "Because I'm black."

Cop stutters, gets angry, and tells my friend to "get the hell out of here."

No ticket!


Oh my gee this is hilarious and I'm going to try very hard to say this the next time i get pulled over. I think I'll even amend it to "Because I'm a black male"
 
2012-05-23 12:46:22 PM  

animal900: I transported some illegal weed killer over an international border this weekend. I managed to please ignorance and the border agent let me through with it because it wasn't too much (about 3 litres/quarts).


I don't feel that what I've done is a crime. And I think it's illogical and irresponsible for you to sentence me to prison. Because, when you think about it, what did I really do? I crossed an imaginary line with a bunch of plants. I mean, you say I'm an outlaw, you say I'm a thief, but where's the Christmas dinner for the people on relief? Huh? You say you're looking for someone who's never weak but always strong, to gather flowers constantly whether you are right or wrong, someone to open each and every door, but it ain't me, babe, huh? No, no, no, it ain't me, babe. It ain't me you're looking for, babe. You follow?
Judge: Yeah... Gosh, you know, your concepts are really interesting, Mister Jung.
 
2012-05-23 12:47:04 PM  
I got away with one last summer. Told the truth. I was driving a little fast because we had a very long drive ahead of us, and I pulled off at the exit because we had to piss, not to try to dodge him as he wasn't behind me at the time.

But then I engaged him in a long conversation about how I was required to have a front plate and my car didn't have a way to install one w/o farking up the bumper, and we discussed that for about 10 minutes.

I think he forgot why he pulled me over before we were done.
 
2012-05-23 12:47:41 PM  
I admit to whatever it was that got me pull over and offer an honest apology.

Been pulled over a half dozen times in the last decade, for everything from speeding to expired inspection sticker, and haven't gotten a single ticket from it.

Then again, I'm also a ladyperson, so YMMV.
 
2012-05-23 12:48:19 PM  
IL plates and I got pulled over in SW Wisconsin doing 77 in a 55. Cop asked me if there was a reason I was going so fast and I replied, No... just not paying attention. He asked if I'd been pulled over for speeding before and I replied, Yes, about 15 years ago. He took my info back his car and when he returned he gave me a warning.
 
2012-05-23 12:48:21 PM  
Killed a vagrant. Or maybe he was an atheist. Daddy was CFO of BofA and big GOP donor.

u mad bro?
 
2012-05-23 12:48:27 PM  
Got a very stern warning after doing 210 in a 70 zone. Good thing the cop had no radar and it was only a passport control on the border.

Btw, the 210 was completely legal up until the border, but I missed the signs for the border itself and the next country does not have our low flying zones.

No, I'm not making this up. Thought my life was over when the cop peeled out on his bike as I was braking (because I just saw the 70 sign)
 
2012-05-23 12:48:32 PM  
So far I've been smart enough to not speed unless there are at least two other cars nearby (read: ahead of me) going faster than I am. If it's deserted, I generally don't put my needle 10 kph over the limit (where cops don't give a shiat) and I've been very good at it so far. For example, one time me, three transport trucks, and a farkload of other cars blew past a cop, all of us going 120 kph on a 100 kph highway (the 403 in Ontario). He didn't move.

I've also got lucky. A few years back, I was driving with my mother's car and she had, of course, forgotten to update her license tags, for months. Never pulled over though.
 
2012-05-23 12:49:18 PM  
GOT PULLED OVER FOR DOING 55 IN A 54! What the hell was that guy's problem? Kept want to look in my car and trunk even! Even brought out the K-9 unit! Seriously, what the hell.

After that it wasn't a problem any longer.
 
2012-05-23 12:50:16 PM  
Once, for wandering three-sheets drunk through a dry zone with an open beer in each hand (hey, I'm a Farker). The cop agreed to let me go if I agreed to pour my booze down the drain and stumble home (and if I could remember my name and address, which admittedly took a while). Though, I'm not sure if that's "Talking my way out of it" so much as "The cop didn't feel like doing the paperwork." :P

/Doesn't drink anymore.
//Good memories though, good memories.
 
2012-05-23 12:50:56 PM  
Got stopped doing 80mph in a 30 zone, It was 5:30am and the streets were empty

I was polite to the officer and somehow got let off.
 
2012-05-23 12:51:44 PM  

tweek46420: animal900: I transported some illegal weed killer over an international border this weekend. I managed to please ignorance and the border agent let me through with it because it wasn't too much (about 3 litres/quarts).

I don't feel that what I've done is a crime. And I think it's illogical and irresponsible for you to sentence me to prison. Because, when you think about it, what did I really do? I crossed an imaginary line with a bunch of plants. I mean, you say I'm an outlaw, you say I'm a thief, but where's the Christmas dinner for the people on relief? Huh? You say you're looking for someone who's never weak but always strong, to gather flowers constantly whether you are right or wrong, someone to open each and every door, but it ain't me, babe, huh? No, no, no, it ain't me, babe. It ain't me you're looking for, babe. You follow?
Judge: Yeah... Gosh, you know, your concepts are really interesting, Mister Jung.



Except in Blow, Johnny Depp was growing weed, I'm trying to kill it.
 
2012-05-23 12:51:51 PM  

Tziva: No, never. I've been pulled over twice, although both times fix-it tickets.

The first one was because my car had limo tint on the driver and passenger windows. I had just bought the car (used) a couple months before. I can see them giving me the ticket for that since they want to make sure I actually take it off (and it was bad. I had to roll down my windows when I drove at night so I could merge onto the freeway because I couldn't see headlights through it).

The second time was just a few weeks ago. I got pulled over because one of my three passenger-side brake lights was out. I hadn't known since my turn signal wasn't doing the fast-blinking thing, presumably because my main brake light still worked (it was just one of the little ones on the side).

Then, not content for pulling me over for something so retarded, he gave me a second ticket because apparently when I moved, the DMV had only updated my vehicle registration, location, and mailing address, but not my license address (although it's all the same process to update all of them, somehow one got left off).

I was super polite to him about it about it but I was so livid. I still think he should have farking let me off with a verbal fix it request. They were just fix-its but it was still a headache. I was 45 minutes late back to work from my lunch brake, and I had to take an afternoon off work to go to the DMV (try to fix address again), police station (get fixes signed off), and courthouse (pay the fine) to get it corrected immediately or the $50 "fee" would have turned into a $509 fine.

/blah blah first world problems


So you were mad because you knowingly broke the law, then they had the temerity to hold you accountable for it? This isn't even a first world problem, snowflake.
 
2012-05-23 12:52:08 PM  
I passed a field sobriety test a couple weekends ago. Luckily they didn't breathalyze me. It would have been close.
 
2012-05-23 12:52:36 PM  
My Dad is a hippie and a total stoner. He was at a party some years ago. A friend of his brought the party favors. Later in the evening that friend was on his way home with a pretty sizable stash of weed still on him. Police pulled him over. They asked for his consent to search the vehicle.

He figured if he said no, they'd bring in a dog, the dog would smell the weed and it would be game over.

He wagered the margin of error would be better with the cops themselves searching the car. So he agreed to let them search it.

They didn't even bother. "We just wanted to see what you'd say. Have a good night."
 
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