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(Daily Mail)   Super hot Olympic hurdler can't find a boyfriend because she's a virgin..submitter too busy staring at pics to think up witty headline..PICS I said..glorious glorious pics   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 264
    More: Misc, Jason Derulo, Real Sports, Christian music, Miss Jones, London Olympics, Nick Lachey  
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35818 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2012 at 10:23 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-23 10:37:24 AM  

Pert: I know that someone who sniffs a lady's bicycle seat is a snufty who enjoys snuftying (or quumfing), but I do not know the term for someone who sniffs the ladies' hurdles after a race.


A pert?
 
2012-05-23 10:38:16 AM  
HotwingConspiracy: She's hot, but something tells me she's got a touch of the crazy.You need to be a brave sort to deflower the crazy.

And not the good crazy. Yes, sometimes crazy ladies bring an A game to sex but not all of them. So yeah, if you deflower that, prepare for Olympic level crazy. She is wound way too tight.
 
2012-05-23 10:38:18 AM  
Don't stick your dick in crazy.
 
2012-05-23 10:38:25 AM  

Random Discord: "Natural: Miss Jones, pictured in an ESPN body issue, said men dump her after they realise she's a virgin"

BS: they dump her after they find out she's bat-shiat insane


THIS

She's one of these "pious" chicks who has to answer "EVERYTHING" with a bible quote. And I mean Everything.
Guy: "Wow. You look really great tonight."
Lolo: "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Guy: Ok.? So where do you want to eat?
Lolo: "Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

Guy: So, I had a good time. [Goes in for kiss.]
Lolo: "Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh."

Guy goes home to furiously beat-off and never call her again.

The only Dudes into this 'act' are black guys and Anti-Gay White Conservatives.
 
2012-05-23 10:38:27 AM  

ihatedumbpeople: Plus, she has big ears.


those are handles...
 
2012-05-23 10:38:31 AM  
Ok, this needs no real explanation. Women can be virgins if they choose to be. Men, do not have that luxury. Men will fark just about any woman, no matter how sharp her knees. The opposite cannot be said about women.
 
2012-05-23 10:38:32 AM  
She could date someone as crazy as she is but he wouldn't approve of her jumping hurdles in the kitchen.
 
2012-05-23 10:38:38 AM  
I wonder how much they'll charge me for that stool from the ESPN photoshoot?
 
2012-05-23 10:38:55 AM  
I have found over the years that if a women reaches 30 without having a serious relationship, there is typicaly a good reason for it. In most cases it is because they are batshait insane. I think this is the case here. So look loonier than 55 year old spinster with 50 cats.
 
2012-05-23 10:39:13 AM  
Just stopped in to chuckle at all of the folks who put her into the "too ugly" or "too crazy" categories. You guys crack me up!! You get so butthurt because a chick, who you'd never have a shot at in the first place, doesn't sleep around that you have to make yourself feel better by saying she is a nutjob uggo.
 
2012-05-23 10:39:40 AM  
I think she would jump those hurdles a little easier if things were not so tight down there,
 
2012-05-23 10:41:20 AM  
Looks like that sex in the city girl.
the one with the long face.
 
2012-05-23 10:41:20 AM  
Once again, I've been had.

There is a direct and inverse proportion between a subby's enthusiasm for a girl's hotness and her actual hotness.
 
2012-05-23 10:41:49 AM  
Super hot Butterface Olympic hurdler can't find a boyfriend because she's a virgin sanctimonious bore who probably would do a great Terry Schiavo impersonation in the sack
 
2012-05-23 10:42:05 AM  
She'd probably hold out for half a year to a year but not until marriage. Especially considering she took a picture naked. She does have a freaking fantastic body.
 
2012-05-23 10:42:42 AM  
Maybe her potential suitors don't have a problem with virginity, but they do have a problem with religious crazy.
 
2012-05-23 10:43:05 AM  
In my dreams tonight she isn't a virgin. Off to my masturbatorium!
 
2012-05-23 10:43:16 AM  

ihatedumbpeople: BillCo: She needs to hook up with Tebow.

that would make the worst celeb p0rn0 ever I'd estimate...


I would imagine a few farkers wouldn't mind seeing Lolo in a nightie from the 1950s with Tebow curled up in a fetal position sobbing uncontrollably.

/you're right, would still be the worst celeb pr0n0
 
2012-05-23 10:44:18 AM  
So, she leads a life that guarantees any man will be low priority.She will always be training, traveling, competing and doing photo shoots.

She has extreme religious convictions that, combined with the lifestyle, mean there is no good reason to date her because not only will you will have almost no time with her and, what you do have, will be like being back in 7th grade.

She poses naked for ESPN, while also marketing herself as a sex symbol, but getting intimate with her man is right out.

It's not the virginity, it's that there is no upside. Even if you accept the no sex till marriage part, you're not going to be in a position to even know you do want to marry her. At best you have a friend, and not even a close friend.
 
2012-05-23 10:44:24 AM  
The reason why guys dont stick around is 100% because of the lack of sex. I've dated her type before; she probably loves to cuddle, wants to make out, likes being felt up and touched (no fingerbang, though). She probably gives handjobs too, just not to completion. So as the guy, you get all the buildup, and none of the payout; constant blue balls. You get sick of it and move on quickly, and she just doesn't get that she's nothing but a massive tease.
 
2012-05-23 10:44:51 AM  
1. Listens to Christian music constantly.
2. Ultra Christian/Conservative = Preachy/Annoying
3. Has an amazing body that you can't touch. (An analogy that farkers would understand would be if your mom put a huge chocolate cake in the basement just inches out of your reach.)

This might be her problem.
 
2012-05-23 10:45:01 AM  
'When I was 22, 24, it was cute,' she said. 'But 24 to 29, it's not cute. You get judged a lot, a lot of guys won't return your calls after they find out.'

You get judged a lot because it actually means there's something wrong with you if you're still a virgin at 29. If you're a virgin at 22, you're not abnormal because a lot of people simply haven't had that many relationships, period, much less ones serious enough to become sexual (yes, I know, i know, but we're talking from the perspective of people that put importance on sex here). At 29 it's because there's something wrong with you.

You can't really use religious tradition as an excuse either, as all that does is change the reason there's obviously something wrong with you. Because in the conservative "no sex before marriage" religious traditions (at least in the states) you should be married long before 29 as well.

I mean, there exist people that just never bothered, I know several people that just preferred working and never bothered dating until their 30s. But the religious excuse narrows the choices down to there being some element of your personality that's just completely unacceptable to all potential suitors. Given the quotes in the article I'm going with you're judgmental and preachy, but I dunno, maybe you're dumb as a brick or something too.
 
2012-05-23 10:45:25 AM  
What a waste.
 
2012-05-23 10:45:34 AM  
'When I was 22, 24, it was cute,' she said. 'But 24 to 29, it's not cute.'

That's because at 29, it's clear that your outlook on sex is permanently messed up.
 
2012-05-23 10:45:46 AM  

BillCo: She needs to hook up with Tebow.


Does Double Immaculate Conception result in Jesus Twins?
 
2012-05-23 10:45:54 AM  
"Can't find a boyfriend because she's a Christian "

/FTFY
 
2012-05-23 10:45:58 AM  

minoridiot: Where did she put her boobs?


She hangs them up in the locker right before putting on the jock strap.
 
2012-05-23 10:45:59 AM  
It's really a numbers game at that age. I'm willing to bet that most people genuinely in the "save it for marriage" crowd are hitched by 25 or, at least, are in a committed relationship on the way to marriage. There aren't going to be many devoutly Christian single men in their late 20s and early 30s for her to date. Then you also have to consider compatibility within that already limited group and the toll that being an elite athlete is going to have on any relationship.
 
2012-05-23 10:46:07 AM  

h0tsauce: 'When I was 22, 24, it was cute,' she said. 'But 24 to 29, it's not cute.'

That's because at 29, it's clear that your outlook on sex is permanently messed up.


word.
 
2012-05-23 10:46:15 AM  

Sitting_Duk: Just stopped in to chuckle at all of the folks who put her into the "too ugly" or "too crazy" categories. You guys crack me up!! You get so butthurt because a chick, who you'd never have a shot at in the first place, doesn't sleep around that you have to make yourself feel better by saying she is a nutjob uggo.


You must be new here.
 
2012-05-23 10:46:32 AM  
I can't understand why no one will buy this car that I won't let anyone test-drive.
 
2012-05-23 10:47:01 AM  

Random Discord: "Natural: Miss Jones, pictured in an ESPN body issue, said men dump her after they realise she's a virgin"

BS: they dump her after they find out she's bat-shiat insane


you say 'bat-shiat-insane', I say 'fundie conservative christian AW'... is there really any difference?

/I wonder what her god thinks about her posing nude in magazines?
 
2012-05-23 10:47:45 AM  

Silly Jesus: 1. Listens to Christian music constantly.
2. Ultra Christian/Conservative = Preachy/Annoying
3. Has an amazing body that you can't touch. (An analogy that farkers would understand would be if your mom put a huge chocolate cake in the basement just inches out of your reach.)

This might be her problem.


Since I specialize in getting attracted to women I can't possibly have...

i3.squidoocdn.com
 
2012-05-23 10:48:13 AM  
SAVING THEMSELVES: TEN MORE FAMOUS VIRGINS


beefoe

Louisiana_Sitar_Club

ihatedumbpeople

Lagaidh

WTFDYW

Wogus

StinkyFiddlewinks

Smeggy Smurf

Richard Roma

&

unitednihilists




I *keed* I *KEED* !!!!!
 
2012-05-23 10:48:19 AM  

BillCo: She needs to hook up with Tebow.



Heh.....Papi was saying the same thing on Dan Le Batard's show.
 
2012-05-23 10:48:31 AM  
Why the heck did she announce it on Twitter? They have a dating site specifically geared for Christian virgins looking to date other Christian virgins. What she needs to do is widen her standards a bit. Super athletes tend to only want to date other super athletes which is a small dating pool to begin with. First off, start looking at handsome men that maybe don't have a chiseled 6-pack. Second, be honest with what you want. Don't wait a month to tell the guy you are a virgin and don't believe in pre-maritol sex. Be upfront about it (which is easy if you are using a Christian dating site). Also she needs to give up the fantasy that if she waits long enough her "Brad Pitt" will fall in love at first sight and sweep her to the altar. Chances are it will be more like a Vince Vaughn-type...who is a reasonably attractive nice guy.

TL;DR - She needs to lower her standards if being a virgin on her wedding night is her goal
 
2012-05-23 10:48:45 AM  
Another problem is girls are all about the first time or whatever, but once they do it, they want to know what it's like with somebody else. I predict she gets divorced within a year or two of marriage.
 
2012-05-23 10:49:00 AM  
Oh look, another Olympic athlete with a stupid name we'll hear constantly for two months and then never again.

Where have you gone, Picabo Street?
 
2012-05-23 10:49:50 AM  

bikerbob59: A 'devout Christian' (according to TFA) does not pose nude for pics.


Yeah that seems a little odd. The one of her sitting nude is pretty damn hot. Although to be fair, she's quite lacking in teh boobies department.
 
2012-05-23 10:50:04 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: She's hot, but something tells me she's got a touch of the crazy.

You need to be a brave sort to deflower the crazy.


Cover me HotWing, I'm going in.

/giggity
//who am i kidding, i'd be good just to have her sitting within eyes reach
//if not me, maybe Bevets has a shot
 
2012-05-23 10:50:14 AM  
Elliot in the Morning was going on about this on my drive to work. I hadn't seen any of the pics or read any articles; was relying solely on the trio of radio personalities to inform me.

Man were they wrong about the hotness. And not in a "sharp knees" kinda way... there's a man-jaw kinda thing going on there.

They aired the audio from the Real Sports clip where she talks about how it's a "gift for her husband" and how she's had to try to keep being a virgin and how hard it is.

She comes off as a horny-as-hell girl who won't even give you a kiss on the pecker.

In my Internet Opinion: The only semen she wants is inside her on the wedding night in order to make a baby.

/bags of sand
 
2012-05-23 10:51:26 AM  

hailin: They have a dating site specifically geared for Christian virgins looking to date other Christian virgins.


Even she doesn't want to date those assholes...nobody does.
 
2012-05-23 10:52:10 AM  
As has already been said...virginity isn't the issue; it's the whole refusing to get physical before marriage thing. She either has to have one hell of a personality, not care about looks (and I mean AT ALL), or find a super devout Christian dude to pull that off.
 
2012-05-23 10:53:33 AM  
I'd put my pole in her vault.
 
2012-05-23 10:53:35 AM  

Dick Gozinya: I've dated her type before; she probably loves to cuddle, wants to make out, likes being felt up and touched (no fingerbang, though). She probably gives handjobs too, just not to completion. So as the guy, you get all the buildup, and none of the payout; constant blue balls.


That was my life 1994-1996.
 
2012-05-23 10:54:20 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-05-23 10:54:37 AM  
Chin, cheeks, jawline and ears?! I know she's in training, but yeesh.
 
2012-05-23 10:56:54 AM  
Need to see a pic of the top of her head before I comment further.
 
2012-05-23 10:56:59 AM  
...so much chin...
 
2012-05-23 10:58:17 AM  
Woof, that's, like, one step up from a bag of antlers.
 
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