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(Slate)   Yes, somebody decided to fact check "Battleship"   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, Peter Berg, warships, boilers  
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11926 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 May 2012 at 2:28 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



111 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-22 02:27:50 PM  
He loses
 
2012-05-22 02:30:28 PM  
www.slate.com

Who's the chick with the legs? Damn
 
2012-05-22 02:31:23 PM  
...after seeing the rest of that picture, I should clarify:

I am indeed talking about the blonde second from the left. She looks hot in this crappy picture

/Sorry black guy with no faux legs
 
2012-05-22 02:33:03 PM  
And here I thought it was a Ken Burns film
 
2012-05-22 02:34:23 PM  

NateAsbestos: ...after seeing the rest of that picture, I should clarify:

I am indeed talking about the blonde second from the left. She looks hot in this crappy picture

/Sorry black guy with no faux legs


Isn't Brooklyn Decker in this movie?

/I did wonder what the Missouri was doing in the previews. Not enough to see it, of course.
 
2012-05-22 02:40:55 PM  
I'm still wondering how the aliens flew across the galaxy yet are unable fly around a satellite in orbit.

/Also the Lawrencium comment made my brain bleed
 
2012-05-22 02:41:36 PM  
I toured the Missouri last spring. I thought it was interesting that some of the equipment still on board the ship was the same stuff I worked on in the early 1990s.

And also, anyone that would "fact check" this kind of movie is a gawdamn moron.
 
2012-05-22 02:42:32 PM  
Fact check what? I'm not aware of anything called "Battleship" except for a game.
 
2012-05-22 02:44:24 PM  
So the short answer is: yes, they could get it going, given a crew and ammo/supplies.
 
2012-05-22 02:44:38 PM  
That's what the movie is about? I read this book as a teenager:

The Ayes of Texas - Daniel da Cruz

g-ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-05-22 02:46:51 PM  
Someone saw that movie? Was The Avengers sold out in every theater in the world?
 
2012-05-22 02:47:58 PM  
I can't tell you how disappointed I was to find out that Peter Berg had something to do with this shiat sandwich.
 
2012-05-22 02:48:09 PM  
Well someone actually science checked "The Core" so why not?

/has there been a worse movie for bad science
 
2012-05-22 02:48:22 PM  
I'm gonna go see it. Just cause. I enjoyed Battle:LA, so...why not?
 
2012-05-22 02:48:50 PM  
why do we have so many battleship greenlights? its like it being forced on us.
yes the movie is bad, we all agree, yes rhiannas acting is bad. why do we need a battleship thread daily?
 
2012-05-22 02:50:11 PM  
I just wonder which is going to be the superior movie. American Battleships or Battleship. My money is on the direct to SyFy movie.
 
2012-05-22 02:51:26 PM  

Earpj: I'm gonna go see it. Just cause. I enjoyed Battle:LA, so...why not?


No one ever accused you of having good taste in movies :-)
 
2012-05-22 02:52:14 PM  
I was on the Missouri back in February for a tour...pictures don't do it justice..it's HUGE. Kinda funny seeing the computer equipment from circa 1990 on board the ship.
 
2012-05-22 02:52:41 PM  

Saiga410: Well someone actually science checked "The Core" so why not?

/has there been a worse movie for bad science


Wow. And their brain didn't just call it quits and ooze of of their skull when faced with that task?
 
2012-05-22 02:53:08 PM  

KingKauff:

No one ever accused you of having good taste in movies :-)


Like you do?

/Brat.
 
2012-05-22 02:55:38 PM  
everyone knows the Sub is NEVER on D7...movie sucks.
 
2012-05-22 02:56:38 PM  

NateAsbestos: [www.slate.com image 568x346]

Who's the chick with the legs? Damn


That's not a nice way to talk about a wounded vet.

Oh, wait...
 
2012-05-22 02:58:03 PM  
(Fiction) People want to see Rihanna like this.

i.imgur.com

(Fact) People want to see Rihanna like this.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-05-22 03:01:24 PM  
Wellon Dowd:

I never understood the blue camo for the Navy. If one falls into the water, how is anyone going to find them?
 
2012-05-22 03:02:04 PM  
You have to appreciate this movie in its proper context. Once you realize the entire film is a metaphor describing The Crimean War, with Rihanna's character symbolizing the Kingdom of Sardinia, it all becomes oh so clear.
 
2012-05-22 03:05:21 PM  
In Star Wars, none of the characters are actually stars that engage in combat with one another. I certainly hope someone was fired over this blunder.
 
2012-05-22 03:06:31 PM  
I'm really surprised it wasn't the guys from Mythbusters doing this. They've run out of REAL myths to study, so now they do movie shiat...
 
2012-05-22 03:07:00 PM  
I haven't yet bothered to read TFA, but the ads I have been hearing on the radio have been driving me nuts. How is it possible that someone is high enough up in the chain of command that they would be called on to replace the captain but they have no clue that they're up next?
 
2012-05-22 03:07:59 PM  

Mugato: Someone saw that movie? Was The Avengers sold out in every theater in the world?


Of course, any excuse to have some movie popcorn!
/movie was better than it's been given credit.
 
2012-05-22 03:09:08 PM  

Wellon Dowd: (Fiction) People want to see Rihanna like this.

[i.imgur.com image 500x500]

(Fact) People want to see Rihanna like this.

[i.imgur.com image 400x639]


I'd hit her... in a good way of course.
 
2012-05-22 03:09:33 PM  

Earpj: Wellon Dowd:

I never understood the blue camo for the Navy. If one falls into the water, how is anyone going to find them?


If you're dumb enough to fall overboard we don't want you back. In my day before the blue pixle cammies it was prison dungarees. Make of that what you will.
 
2012-05-22 03:09:59 PM  

LesserEvil: So the short answer is: yes, they could get it going, given a crew and ammo/supplies.


I gathered from that that it's unlikely they could get the engines going without significant maintenance. They have been run in 20 years. They likely require serious inspection and overhaul.
 
2012-05-22 03:10:19 PM  

Killer Cars: You have to appreciate this movie in its proper context. Once you realize the entire film is a metaphor describing The Crimean War, with Rihanna's character symbolizing the Kingdom of Sardinia, it all becomes oh so clear.


I'm assuming the aliens are Russia. Who is emblematic of France? And how do they help Rihanna later unify Italy?
 
2012-05-22 03:11:43 PM  

One Bad Apple: If you're dumb enough to fall overboard we don't want you back. In my day before the blue pixle cammies it was prison dungarees. Make of that what you will.


Prison with the possibility of drowning
 
2012-05-22 03:12:18 PM  
I kind of hate people who do this. They irritate me.
Like the guy who pointed out all the flaws in the way Hawkeye shot his bow.

I mean, yes, we get it, you know things. Bravo to you!
 
2012-05-22 03:13:20 PM  

Wellon Dowd: (Fiction) People want to see Rihanna like this.

[i.imgur.com image 500x500]

(Fact) People want to see Rihanna like this.

[i.imgur.com image 400x639]



She's not playing an alien? With that weird alien face that was a casting opportunity missed. They wouldn't have even needed to CGI her or anything.
 
2012-05-22 03:13:20 PM  

soopey: I'm assuming the aliens are Russia. Who is emblematic of France? And how do they help Rihanna later unify Italy?


Have you seen her ass? I am certain she'd have no trouble unifying the Italians, at least not the men.
 
2012-05-22 03:18:44 PM  

Zombie DJ: I kind of hate people who do this. They irritate me.
Like the guy who pointed out all the flaws in the way Hawkeye shot his bow.

I mean, yes, we get it, you know things. Bravo to you!



Yeah but people get paid a lot of money to write scripts, even the shiatty ones. They should be technically accurate.
 
2012-05-22 03:26:04 PM  
Well if some kind of ultra mega EMP takes out all the electronics of the world and we was back to WWII era technology, the US has 8 dreadnaught museum ships. I'm pretty sure thats more than the rest of the world combined
 
2012-05-22 03:29:08 PM  

KingKauff: Earpj: I'm gonna go see it. Just cause. I enjoyed Battle:LA, so...why not?

No one ever accused you of having good taste in movies :-)


I loved Battle Los Angeles. And I have farking impeccable taste in movies.
 
2012-05-22 03:31:07 PM  

Rent Party:

No one ever accused you of having good taste in movies :-)

I loved Battle Los Angeles. And I have farking impeccable taste in movies.


See? SEE?

Thank you.
 
2012-05-22 03:31:59 PM  
I've done volunteer work on the USS New Jersey BB-62 Museum ship. We get inspected by the Navy once a year and one of the inspectors told me they could have it out to sea in 14 months. Why they would want to, I don't know. If any of you nerds ever get the chance check out the computers that give firing solutions for the 16" guns. Farking amazing engineering from the '30s, built by Ford.
 
2012-05-22 03:33:03 PM  

Zombie DJ: I kind of hate people who do this. They irritate me.
Like the guy who pointed out all the flaws in the way Hawkeye shot his bow.

I mean, yes, we get it, you know things. Bravo to you!


Never, EVER go see movies with ships in it if you are in a Naval town. You will find yourself seated in front of four sailors that think they're critiquing a training film.
 
2012-05-22 03:33:24 PM  
Just wait until this guy sees the Fang Vector Matrix in Summer 2014's "Hungry, Hungry Hippos"
 
2012-05-22 03:34:11 PM  

Saiga410: Well someone actually science checked "The Core" so why not?

/has there been a worse movie for bad science


"Armageddon" is definitely a contender.

/don't care
//farking love that movie
 
2012-05-22 03:34:30 PM  

Earpj: Rent Party:

No one ever accused you of having good taste in movies :-)

I loved Battle Los Angeles. And I have farking impeccable taste in movies.

See? SEE?

Thank you.


Some one has to stand up for quality film. If not us, who? If not now, when?
 
2012-05-22 03:34:40 PM  

Rent Party: KingKauff: Earpj: I'm gonna go see it. Just cause. I enjoyed Battle:LA, so...why not?

No one ever accused you of having good taste in movies :-)

I loved Battle Los Angeles. And I have farking impeccable taste in movies.


No you don't.
 
2012-05-22 03:35:36 PM  

Rent Party:

Some one has to stand up for quality film. If not us, who? If not now, when?


Absolutely.

I LOVE a good explosion fest.
 
2012-05-22 03:35:44 PM  
So basically, from a fact checking perspective, the movie needs:
1- A battleship
2- A carrier
3- A submarine
4- A destroyer
5- A PT boat
6- Someone calling out grid coordinates "B-4!"
7- Someone to yell "you sank my battleship!"
8- Tits
 
2012-05-22 03:37:08 PM  

Pants_Optional: So basically, from a fact checking perspective, the movie needs:
1- A battleship
2- A carrier
3- A submarine
4- A destroyer
5- A PT boat
6- Someone calling out grid coordinates "B-4!"
7- Someone to yell "you sank my battleship!"
8- Tits


I would be seriously disappointed were this to be missing from the film.
 
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