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(Huffington Post)   Pictures from the BDSM community's DomCon in Los Angeles. Click the link. CLICK IT NOW, WORM (Not safe for work)   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 371
    More: Interesting, BDSM, U.S. DomConLA, DomCom, Los Angeles, sexual fetish, lectures  
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22840 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2012 at 4:16 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-22 10:13:38 PM  

cretinbob: Shadow Blasko: cretinbob: yes, mistress

You better capitalize that, slime.

Yes, Mistress


(looks down)

I am *so* not wearing my heels, or my tits. and I have not shaved either! I am ... Out of character in a big way.
 
2012-05-22 10:20:00 PM  
Is it me, or does the first slide show picture look like Ghastly?
 
2012-05-22 10:22:03 PM  

poodebunker: Uhuh, no way! I'm not hitting anyone, and nobody is going to hit me!
Doing the naughty should be FUN not PAINFUL. "Playing" should be full of giggles, and "ooowhees".
That being said, for those who do the bdsm, mmmmkay have fun...



Don't knock it till you try it. If you're doing it right it isn't painful. It's not about pain, it's about intense sensation and loss of control.

Giggles and "ooowhee" is fine, but it's nothing compared to "OH MY FARKING GOD [uncontrollable thrashing and animal noises] [panting for breath].

You haven't lived until you've been made to cum so hard that you NEED to be tied down to keep you from hurting yourself.
 
2012-05-22 10:27:13 PM  

Shadow Blasko: clyph: Shadow Blasko: You get in the bag, and it gets zipped up behind you. The rigid frame allows for the air to be removed, and essentially seals you into place. The latex being pressed all around you holds you more or less completely motionless, while still providing a very tactile experience on either side of the envelope

Kind of like a kinky seal-a-meal. Very cool.. very cool indeed.

A vac bed and a hitachi magic wand make for an... interesting experience.


Um...I'll bet.
 
2012-05-22 10:33:35 PM  

Julie Cochrane: Shadow Blasko: clyph: Shadow Blasko: You get in the bag, and it gets zipped up behind you. The rigid frame allows for the air to be removed, and essentially seals you into place. The latex being pressed all around you holds you more or less completely motionless, while still providing a very tactile experience on either side of the envelope

Kind of like a kinky seal-a-meal. Very cool.. very cool indeed.

A vac bed and a hitachi magic wand make for an... interesting experience.

Um...I'll bet.


Free demonstrations if you find yourself in the area.

(or when I am on the coast for faires, like Maryland)
 
2012-05-22 10:35:00 PM  

Shadow Blasko: A vac bed and a hitachi magic wand make for an... interesting experience.


Anything and a magic wand makes for an interesting experience.
 
2012-05-22 10:37:27 PM  

clyph: Shadow Blasko: A vac bed and a hitachi magic wand make for an... interesting experience.

Anything and a magic wand makes for an interesting experience.


Try two! The standing wave form oscillations are amazing. Even for normal massage. It feels like a wave moving through your body between them.

For other activities, it is also amazing.
 
2012-05-22 10:41:06 PM  
1. "Mistress Tetra whips Katie who is a willing submissive..."

2. "Mistress Tetra whips Katie who is a willing submissive..."

3. "Mistress Tetra whips Katie who is a willing submissive..."

4. "Mistress Tetra drags metal claws over the skin of Katie who is a willing submissive..."

6. "Sir Nik canes a woman who is a willing submissive..."

7. "Sir Nik holds a sword and dominates a woman who is a willing submissive..."

8. "Sir Nik whips a woman who is a willing submissive..."

10. "Sir Nik dominates a woman who is a willing submissive..."

14. "Sir Nik holds a sword and dominates a woman who is a willing submissive..."

16. "Sir Nik uses a bullwhip on a woman who is a willing submissive ..."

17. "Sir Nik whips a woman who is a willing submissive..."

18. "Sir Nik whips a woman who is a willing submissive..."

19. "Sir Nik dominates a woman who is a willing submissive..."

20. "Sir Nik uses a bullwhip on a woman who is a willing submissive ..."

21. "Sir Nik whips a woman who is a willing submissive..."


Gosh; I sure hope those women were willing submissives.
 
2012-05-22 10:43:14 PM  

clyph: Shadow Blasko: A vac bed and a hitachi magic wand make for an... interesting experience.

Anything and a magic wand makes for an interesting experience.


I love mine.
 
2012-05-22 10:43:51 PM  

Directorscut: clyph: Directorscut: To each their own, but when a vanilla bean acts like a well trained sub, there WILL be problems when the candle wax starts flying....

Only if the top is incompetent, doesn't interview the sub, and doesn't negotiate the scene beforehand. That's something you should do anytime you're playing with someone new REGARDLESS of how long they've been in the scene. There's no excuse for a top losing control of a scene.

I don't care if a sub says she's been in the scene twice as long as I have, if I haven't played with her before I'm going to take it slow and discuss everything beforehand.

There are times when the top gets blind-sided by a deceitful wanna-be, or at least, it has happened to me... once, but I agree that there must be a firm line of communication. When the sub agrees to everything that has been planned, and is fully aware of what is going to happen, and then decides 15 minutes in that this really not what she wants? That is a deceitful vanilla bean, not a sub. I don't deal with SAMs very well.


I find this a little disturbing to have such a hard line. Especially if the sub you are dealing with is new to the scene (EVERYONE is a newbie at some point) and is just learning to explore what they like and don't like. What they think they might like at first may be something they find in experience is NOT something they are enjoying.
 
2012-05-22 10:44:55 PM  

Sensei Can You See: 1. "Mistress Tetra whips Katie who is a willing submissive..."

2. "Mistress Tetra whips Katie who is a willing submissive..."

3. "Mistress Tetra whips Katie who is a willing submissive..."

4. "Mistress Tetra drags metal claws over the skin of Katie who is a willing submissive..."

6. "Sir Nik canes a woman who is a willing submissive..."

7. "Sir Nik holds a sword and dominates a woman who is a willing submissive..."

8. "Sir Nik whips a woman who is a willing submissive..."

10. "Sir Nik dominates a woman who is a willing submissive..."

14. "Sir Nik holds a sword and dominates a woman who is a willing submissive..."

16. "Sir Nik uses a bullwhip on a woman who is a willing submissive ..."

17. "Sir Nik whips a woman who is a willing submissive..."

18. "Sir Nik whips a woman who is a willing submissive..."

19. "Sir Nik dominates a woman who is a willing submissive..."

20. "Sir Nik uses a bullwhip on a woman who is a willing submissive ..."

21. "Sir Nik whips a woman who is a willing submissive..."

Gosh; I sure hope those women were willing submissives.


LOL
 
2012-05-22 10:52:18 PM  

Shadow Blasko: Julie Cochrane: Shadow Blasko: clyph: Shadow Blasko: You get in the bag, and it gets zipped up behind you. The rigid frame allows for the air to be removed, and essentially seals you into place. The latex being pressed all around you holds you more or less completely motionless, while still providing a very tactile experience on either side of the envelope

Kind of like a kinky seal-a-meal. Very cool.. very cool indeed.

A vac bed and a hitachi magic wand make for an... interesting experience.

Um...I'll bet.

Free demonstrations if you find yourself in the area.

(or when I am on the coast for faires, like Maryland)


I'll take you up on that. :-)
 
2012-05-22 10:52:26 PM  
I have a stupid.

Is it a stereotype, or are most 'doms' female? I don't think I've ever seen a male portrayed that way, but I'll admit my experience with the BDSM community is limited to almost nothing (I'd say television, but that's about as accurate as a Reefer madness video).

I figure it can't be true, but it's some type of built in bias I have. Possibly I'm uncomfortable picturing Jack Black (or some other middle aged frumpydumpy white dude) in the highly sexualized dom-suits. Or maybe it's that I keep trying to call them Madams.

Though the vac bag thing looks pretty cool. I've always thought a bit of BDSM, tieing, etc. could be fun, but....no dates in forever mean certainly no trying. Unless I can whip myself.
 
2012-05-22 10:58:52 PM  

kroonermanblack: I have a stupid.

Is it a stereotype, or are most 'doms' female? I don't think I've ever seen a male portrayed that way, but I'll admit my experience with the BDSM community is limited to almost nothing (I'd say television, but that's about as accurate as a Reefer madness video).

I figure it can't be true, but it's some type of built in bias I have. Possibly I'm uncomfortable picturing Jack Black (or some other middle aged frumpydumpy white dude) in the highly sexualized dom-suits. Or maybe it's that I keep trying to call them Madams.

Though the vac bag thing looks pretty cool. I've always thought a bit of BDSM, tieing, etc. could be fun, but....no dates in forever mean certainly no trying. Unless I can whip myself.


Nope. In fact, from what I have experienced in the community, most are male. Female tops make for better pics for press, and better stories (CSI) but it's probably about a 65/35 split.

Most male doms I know are usually quite snappy dressers. They might break out the leather etc for some scene play, but, as stated upthread, it is much easier to properly play when you have freedom of motion and you are comfortable.

If you are interested in the scene, find out who some of your locals are and go check it out. You don't have to pay to play, and you don't have to be IN the scene to appreciate the scene. In fact, if you tell them just what you said "I am interested, but have no experience" I am certain you will find people more than willing to discuss things and help you find out what you like, or do not like.

It can be rough to find groups in the area if you don't know someone (in the know) so... I would suggest signing up for a site like fetlife, where you can learn about the scene, learn about your local scene, and learn the basics before you go to an event. It's free, and a good way to learn. You can also find out if there are some people in your area that you would do best to avoid.
 
2012-05-22 11:02:56 PM  

Shadow Blasko: Most male doms I know are usually quite snappy dressers. They might break out the leather etc for some scene play, but, as stated upthread, it is much easier to properly play when you have freedom of motion and you are comfortable.


Leather does serve a practical purpose too, though.
 
2012-05-22 11:07:46 PM  

kroonermanblack: Is it a stereotype, or are most 'doms' female? I don't think I've ever seen a male portrayed that way, but I'll admit my experience with the BDSM community is limited to almost nothing (I'd say television, but that's about as accurate as a Reefer madness video).

I figure it can't be true, but it's some type of built in bias I have. Possibly I'm uncomfortable picturing Jack Black (or some other middle aged frumpydumpy white dude) in the highly sexualized dom-suits. Or maybe it's that I keep trying to call them Madams.



Maledom-femsub pr0n has a very different feel than femdom-malesub pr0n. In both cases, they're intended for a male audience and the visual focus is on the female.

TFA has pictures of a male dom. In my experience, most of us dress like him at events and parties - black jeans/slacks, black or red shirt, maybe a leather vest or armguards or a studded belt. Sometimes I wear a tux... makes a nice contrast when my partner is wearing nothing but high heels, a g-string and maybe two electrical tape X's on her nipples.
 
2012-05-22 11:12:07 PM  

Shadow Blasko: For other activities, it is also amazing.


Preaching to the choir, my friend.
 
2012-05-22 11:12:26 PM  

Nrokreffefp: Every single person was unattractive. What is it about fetishes that attracts the ugly people? I've noticed the same thing with furries.

Is it that they change sex into not-quite-sex with props or imagination so that the mutual revulsion they must feel is dampened? Do they find themselves unattractive and thus submit to punishment for their apparent inability to diet?

Meh.


Yeah, I'm not sure what the deal is there, I've had the same experience. A previous gf and I went to a BDSM "open house" event around Christmas time in the Bay Area, figured it would be a fun lark. It was all really weird looking dudes and really (really) fat women.

I went on a blind date with a girl a few months ago. She was chubby and she wore a wig on the date (which basically sealed her fate as a no-go). After a while she started telling me that she was into the local "BDSM scene". I made a casual mention of the experience I had at the BDSM club, and that all of the women were obese. Date girl said "Oh yeah, most of the girls in the scene are really fat. It has to do with a tendency to indulge in everything to a point of excess - food, sex, shopping, just about any kind of consumption or gratification."

So... maybe that's it. Correlation, not causation, etc.

//No, I am not into BDSM. I know it's not about what's "normal", but you people are f*cking weird. But, I mean, whatever, to each their own.
 
2012-05-22 11:17:42 PM  

Shadow Blasko: kroonermanblack: I have a stupid.

Is it a stereotype, or are most 'doms' female? I don't think I've ever seen a male portrayed that way, but I'll admit my experience with the BDSM community is limited to almost nothing (I'd say television, but that's about as accurate as a Reefer madness video).

I figure it can't be true, but it's some type of built in bias I have. Possibly I'm uncomfortable picturing Jack Black (or some other middle aged frumpydumpy white dude) in the highly sexualized dom-suits. Or maybe it's that I keep trying to call them Madams.

Though the vac bag thing looks pretty cool. I've always thought a bit of BDSM, tieing, etc. could be fun, but....no dates in forever mean certainly no trying. Unless I can whip myself.

Nope. In fact, from what I have experienced in the community, most are male. Female tops make for better pics for press, and better stories (CSI) but it's probably about a 65/35 split.

Most male doms I know are usually quite snappy dressers. They might break out the leather etc for some scene play, but, as stated upthread, it is much easier to properly play when you have freedom of motion and you are comfortable.

If you are interested in the scene, find out who some of your locals are and go check it out. You don't have to pay to play, and you don't have to be IN the scene to appreciate the scene. In fact, if you tell them just what you said "I am interested, but have no experience" I am certain you will find people more than willing to discuss things and help you find out what you like, or do not like.

It can be rough to find groups in the area if you don't know someone (in the know) so... I would suggest signing up for a site like fetlife, where you can learn about the scene, learn about your local scene, and learn the basics before you go to an event. It's free, and a good way to learn. You can also find out if there are some people in your area that you would do best to avoid.


/raises hand

Yes, I have a question.

Is there a paddle that won't leave any bruising at all?

I can't have that for work.
 
2012-05-22 11:21:10 PM  

kroonermanblack: I have a stupid.

Is it a stereotype, or are most 'doms' female? I don't think I've ever seen a male portrayed that way, but I'll admit my experience with the BDSM community is limited to almost nothing (I'd say television, but that's about as accurate as a Reefer madness video).

I figure it can't be true, but it's some type of built in bias I have. Possibly I'm uncomfortable picturing Jack Black (or some other middle aged frumpydumpy white dude) in the highly sexualized dom-suits. Or maybe it's that I keep trying to call them Madams.

Though the vac bag thing looks pretty cool. I've always thought a bit of BDSM, tieing, etc. could be fun, but....no dates in forever mean certainly no trying. Unless I can whip myself.


It's much easier to find a male dom than a female one, at least if you are female....... *sigh*

There are three pics at this site of me (or at least part ;) ) the rope bondage ones, we won second place in the contest.

NSFW:
Link
 
2012-05-22 11:22:13 PM  
Grumbles....

Makes me miss the interesting old days all the more sometimes. I met some very interesting folks back then. Some stereotypes can be fun...Just eventually too flaky even for my rolling trainwreck that passed for a life.

/and Linda did look so good in that tight collar
//her choice
 
2012-05-22 11:25:42 PM  

Directorscut: s a deceitful vanilla bean, not a sub. I don't deal with SAMs very well.


I'd never trust a top who blamed a bad scene on his/her sub.

When you are the top, you are in charge, all responsibility for the safety and welfare of the sub is yours and yours alone. If it goes south, the blame is yours and yours alone. Sorry, but saying "she lied to me" is a cop-out - you should realize that people lie and exaggerate, ESPECIALLY about sex. It's your job to be prepared for ANY contingency that might arise during the scene, including your partner being less than truthful. This goes double if they are inexperienced.

You cannot assume authority without assuming responsibility. If you do not accept that you have no business being in any position of authority.
 
2012-05-22 11:27:38 PM  

Grables'Daughter: .

/raises hand

Yes, I have a question

Is there a paddle that won't leave any bruising at all?

I can't have that for work ...


Depending on whether the paddle itself is something you desire, I know a few Doms that like to use a nice shoe. The leather sole of a loafer makes a great sound and I have never seen it leave a bruise. It isn't an implement I have used myself or had used on me, though.
 
2012-05-22 11:28:23 PM  

Grables'Daughter: Yes, I have a question.

Is there a paddle that won't leave any bruising at all?

I can't have that for work.


The one that doesn't get used.

Seriously though, It's all about how it is used, and the types of blows.

A person who knows what they are doing can give you pretty much all the experience you can handle with a good paddle, and leave nothing but a nice cherry red ass at the end, which would fade well in a couple hours.

It just takes a good deal more time, patience, and someone who knows what they are doing.
 
2012-05-22 11:35:48 PM  

Nrokreffefp: Every single person was unattractive. What is it about fetishes that attracts the ugly people? I've noticed the same thing with furries.


Does it hurt to be that shallow?
 
2012-05-22 11:36:10 PM  

clyph: When you are the top, you are in charge, all responsibility for the safety and welfare of the sub is yours and yours alone. If it goes south, the blame is yours and yours alone. Sorry, but saying "she lied to me" is a cop-out - you should realize that people lie and exaggerate, ESPECIALLY about sex. It's your job to be prepared for ANY contingency that might arise during the scene, including your partner being less than truthful. This goes double if they are inexperienced.


As someone who had a very bad first experience, thanks for saying this.
 
2012-05-22 11:42:23 PM  

Grables'Daughter: Is there a paddle that won't leave any bruising at all?


Yes. If you use it right. I have a paddle with one side covered in bunny fur. It won't leave a mark unless I *REALLY* lay in to you with it.

An implement with a larger, softer, and more flexible striking surface is less likely to leave a mark.

The question is, will a non-marking paddle give you the sensation that you want? Do you prefer thud or sting? How much?
 
2012-05-22 11:54:16 PM  

Shadow Blasko: Seriously though, It's all about how it is used, and the types of blows.


Exactly right. I can use my hand and leave a red glow that lasts an hour, or a black & blue mark that lasts a week. The implement can make a (big) difference in the sensation and how much force you can use, but ultimately it boils down to knowing how to use it. You also have to adjust it for the person. My wife has very fair and thin skin and marks up ridiculously easy. One of my other partners has a Wolverine-level healing factor.

If you want a super-safe toy, get a good deerskin flogger with a thick bundle of tails. Very thuddy, and almost impossible to mark someone with it. With the one I used to have, I could swing it like a baseball bat at my ex's ass and get nothing more than a little pinkness. YMMV - everyone's body reacts differently.
 
2012-05-23 12:03:37 AM  

clyph: Shadow Blasko: Seriously though, It's all about how it is used, and the types of blows.

Exactly right. I can use my hand and leave a red glow that lasts an hour, or a black & blue mark that lasts a week. The implement can make a (big) difference in the sensation and how much force you can use, but ultimately it boils down to knowing how to use it. You also have to adjust it for the person. My wife has very fair and thin skin and marks up ridiculously easy. One of my other partners has a Wolverine-level healing factor.

If you want a super-safe toy, get a good deerskin flogger with a thick bundle of tails. Very thuddy, and almost impossible to mark someone with it. With the one I used to have, I could swing it like a baseball bat at my ex's ass and get nothing more than a little pinkness. YMMV - everyone's body reacts differently.


For "non marking only" type of play I agree with you on the deerskin, or, on the other end, a short handled crop. Something where you can aim very well, with a small head so you are not overlapping blows. It lets you control precisely where your hits will land, and gives you good impact control.

/Wider area paddles can cause cupping of the skin, and that in itself can cause bruising, or even bleeding without needing a forceful impact. I was *quite* surprised the first time I used an 8" wide rubber paddle with no holes on someone. The sound was delightful, but watching the skin immediately turn white, then purple as the ruptured capillaries began to show was a bit off-putting. It was a soft blow with amazing results.

//You can practice all night on a pillow or cushion, but until it hits flesh and blood, you don't know the toy.
 
2012-05-23 12:06:17 AM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Go to a basic craft store and get some silk cord. Tie a slip knot with an easy release (I prefer the "noose knot" since it's easy to slide). Playtime.

Never do anything you can't undo with your eyes closed.

Practice safe whatever, fellow Farkers.


I have shown more than a few friends knots that only work one way. If you fight the knot, it just locks, and yet I have had the same people biatch to high hell that they cant get loose and

clyph: Shadow Blasko: I know a pro who used to work the DC crowd who said that most people there knew that if they opened their mouths outside the building, they could possibly be risking their lives. I dunno if that is true, certainly not around here, but maybe with the DC crowds.

I know quite a few people in the DC scene who have TS-SCI clearances and they're quite open about it, at least to those who have a need to know. As long as you're not trying to hide it and aren't at risk for being blackmailed, involvement in the BDSM scene doesn't disqualify you from holding a clearance.

Family courts aren't so open-minded. It can be grounds to be denied custody or visitation in a divorce, so most people are discreet.


The only folks I know into it in the area are only because I picked up enough from conversations that I approached the subject. They didnt deny and I didnt pry past the point that they were comfortable discussing.

Talking around things gives away more than people realize sometimes. If you know enough to pick up the clues, you will quickly realize how many people are not pure vanilla.
 
2012-05-23 12:06:34 AM  

Shadow Blasko: //You can practice all night on a pillow or cushion, but until it hits flesh and blood, you don't know the toy.


Yep. And you don't use it on someone else until you've used it on yourself.
 
2012-05-23 12:21:16 AM  
I'm active in my local scene and there are plenty of hot people. Also average people, young people, old people, genderfluid people, thin people, fat people, et al. They're my friends. Image judgement quickly fades away when you have to eat dinner and party with people all the time.

You don't play with anyone you're not attracted to, and one of the nice things is you realize quickly that no one is going to condemn your small penis. Or your small tits or big ass or whatever. People are just having kinky fun.

As to what the big deal is, it has much less to do with "damaged people" who "can't get sex elsewhere" and more with people who like to get high. You get high when you get beaten, or tied, or what have you. I thought it was bollocks at first too. It is not.

Frankly, people who complain about anything being "all fatties" have unequivocally proven to be IRL rather unattractive themselves, and the types who never get laid and rely on porn. So quit spilling your own self-hatred out on these women and men who consented to let people have a look at the scene.
 
2012-05-23 12:22:34 AM  

Porous Horace: Not long after my first BDSM session had begun, I realized that "more" is not the best choice for safe words.



Neither is "harder".
 
2012-05-23 12:25:13 AM  

Jixa: is the article emasculating them by just saying "a submissive man"


Many, if not most, submissive men get off on being emasculated.
 
2012-05-23 12:47:46 AM  

Shadow Blasko: Directorscut: //Bible Belt is scary place

Yes, but the best kinksters I have met are generally from very conservative places.

Hell... the most "off the hook" dungeon I have ever seen was in Paducah, KY.

Day collars and pervertables are great. Always good to keep the kink out in the open, JUST enough to catch the eyes of those who know what they are looking at.


You would have LOVED a house I looked at in PW county.

Basement fireplace had this interesting Steel plate bolted at a 45 to it (directly below the mantle with a ~1' gap).

Paid no attention the first time and looked around, came back to it and decided to look a little closer. Spreading my arms and looking, and again, I noticed that the 2 eye bolts were just shy of full spread apart.

Evidently the previous owners had some serious kink going on, as that was just shy of 1/2" steel plate that they had installed for shackles.


Too bad the bank pulled the house and refused to relist it. Current house is 102 and due to some unknown issues there will be some "additions" made to the home during repairs.
 
2012-05-23 12:48:11 AM  

Arachnophobe: [i1126.photobucket.com image 550x550]

Another favorite. I wish I could remember her name. I know she's part Asian, and has done a Maxim spread (that this was part of).


Might be Zilty Dodo? (VERY NSFW)
 
2012-05-23 12:54:02 AM  

clyph: stuff


Clyph,

your link posted earlier, did you do the rope work on Captive? That is one element I have LONG been interested in and have yet to venture into. If you did do the rope work, and if I may ask, where did you learn it? Probably should take it offline but had to ask.

Thanks
 
2012-05-23 06:56:46 AM  

Grables'Daughter: Shadow Blasko: kroonermanblack: I have a stupid.

Is it a stereotype, or are most 'doms' female? I don't think I've ever seen a male portrayed that way, but I'll admit my experience with the BDSM community is limited to almost nothing (I'd say television, but that's about as accurate as a Reefer madness video).

I figure it can't be true, but it's some type of built in bias I have. Possibly I'm uncomfortable picturing Jack Black (or some other middle aged frumpydumpy white dude) in the highly sexualized dom-suits. Or maybe it's that I keep trying to call them Madams.

Though the vac bag thing looks pretty cool. I've always thought a bit of BDSM, tieing, etc. could be fun, but....no dates in forever mean certainly no trying. Unless I can whip myself.

Nope. In fact, from what I have experienced in the community, most are male. Female tops make for better pics for press, and better stories (CSI) but it's probably about a 65/35 split.

Most male doms I know are usually quite snappy dressers. They might break out the leather etc for some scene play, but, as stated upthread, it is much easier to properly play when you have freedom of motion and you are comfortable.

If you are interested in the scene, find out who some of your locals are and go check it out. You don't have to pay to play, and you don't have to be IN the scene to appreciate the scene. In fact, if you tell them just what you said "I am interested, but have no experience" I am certain you will find people more than willing to discuss things and help you find out what you like, or do not like.

It can be rough to find groups in the area if you don't know someone (in the know) so... I would suggest signing up for a site like fetlife, where you can learn about the scene, learn about your local scene, and learn the basics before you go to an event. It's free, and a good way to learn. You can also find out if there are some people in your area that you would do best to avoid.

/raises hand

Yes, I have a ques ...


No guarantees, But leather , especially slightly supple leather is MUCH less like to bruise than wood. Also wider paddles and straps tends to spread the impact out more than smaller ones, so less bruising as well. Mostly though you need someone who knows what they are doing to whom you can say "I can't have you leaving any bruises" (though honestly if ever saw evidence of a decent spanking on a stripper, I'd probably peel off a $50 for her garter and be sure she's the one I asked for a private dance (but then that's my kink


/Always appreciated having you around, but never truly lusted after you until i just got the mental image of you and a paddle in my mind
 
2012-05-23 07:40:49 AM  
A paddle in your mind?

digitaljournal.com
 
2012-05-23 07:41:11 AM  
Well this has certainly been educational and I don't mean that sarcastically. I have always assumed certain things about this type of fun and I can see now that for the serious, it's more thought out than I realized.
 
2012-05-23 08:45:32 AM  

poodebunker: Uhuh, no way! I'm not hitting anyone, and nobody is going to hit me!
Doing the naughty should be FUN not PAINFUL. "Playing" should be full of giggles, and "ooowhees".
That being said, for those who do the bdsm, mmmmkay have fun...


You can just stick to the B part of BDSM...no need for any pain, if that's not your thing.

/explore what you like at your own pace
//don't let anyone else tell you what the scene is "supposed" to be
///DO listen to people with more experience for safety tips

Oh, and safewords are over-rated...a good dominatrix can make you forget your name, let alone a random word...
 
2012-05-23 08:57:54 AM  
I went to a BDSM festival to help out a vendor friend of mine once. I guess I expected that I'd be shocked or titillated or something by the goings on. What I was was bored. It just seemed like so much work.

/ I mean, if it's your thing, go for it. Someone's gotta be vanilla, and it turns out that it's me.
 
2012-05-23 09:07:54 AM  

Grables'Daughter: I've played around quite a bit, and I definitely like to be spanked. I also have a bdsm photo set that I did.

So I approve of this article.

The pics in the article?

Meh.


And where are these pics?
 
2012-05-23 09:09:56 AM  

clyph: Shadow Blasko: Seriously though, It's all about how it is used, and the types of blows.

Exactly right. I can use my hand and leave a red glow that lasts an hour, or a black & blue mark that lasts a week. The implement can make a (big) difference in the sensation and how much force you can use, but ultimately it boils down to knowing how to use it. You also have to adjust it for the person. My wife has very fair and thin skin and marks up ridiculously easy. One of my other partners has a Wolverine-level healing factor.

If you want a super-safe toy, get a good deerskin flogger with a thick bundle of tails. Very thuddy, and almost impossible to mark someone with it. With the one I used to have, I could swing it like a baseball bat at my ex's ass and get nothing more than a little pinkness. YMMV - everyone's body reacts differently.


Clyph, thank you for posting to this thread. You're a good top, sir. You demonstrate competence and control, without the silly posturing.
 
2012-05-23 09:35:32 AM  
WTF is going on in this thread?
 
2012-05-23 09:36:19 AM  
Too late for BIE? EIP just in case ...
 
2012-05-23 09:36:43 AM  

DreamSnipers: Give some woman the beating of her life then say "Now while she performs oral sex on me."? A lot of sex acts have trust involved, how am I supposed to trust someone kinky enough to want the bejesus beat out of themselves?


If you're gonna do it, do it right. If you can't trust your sub that much, you're doing it wrong, bub.
 
2012-05-23 09:44:18 AM  

Grables'Daughter: /raises hand

Yes, I have a question.

Is there a paddle that won't leave any bruising at all?

I can't have that for work.


Have you tried rubber? I once picked up a flexible rubber stair tread from Home Depot and it gave a surprisingly pleasing thud when used as a flogger (especially when two were stacked on top of each other!). You might want to give it a try, though I cannot say for certain if it will leave any bruising. It depends on the person and how hard one is hit.
 
2012-05-23 10:39:26 AM  

Mock26: Grables'Daughter: /raises hand

Yes, I have a question.

Is there a paddle that won't leave any bruising at all?

I can't have that for work.

Have you tried rubber? I once picked up a flexible rubber stair tread from Home Depot and it gave a surprisingly pleasing thud when used as a flogger (especially when two were stacked on top of each other!). You might want to give it a try, though I cannot say for certain if it will leave any bruising. It depends on the person and how hard one is hit.


Yeah. Everyone's resilience is different. I can be enjoying a light sting but in the end come away black and blue like someone was really wailing on me on some parts of my body. On other parts it takes considerable effort to raise a lasting mark. I think that's also up to a sub to warn a Dom about, though, especially if you don't want anything showing.
 
2012-05-23 10:47:44 AM  
bmak
 
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