FARK.com: (7119616) Hundreds of thousands of Canadians still using dial-up. I wish there was something funny I could say about this but I'm one of them and I pray for death every day

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		Hundreds of thousands of Canadians still using dial-up. I wish there was something funny I could say about this but I'm one of them and I pray for death every day (cbc.ca)		129
		More: Sad, Canadians, information superhighway, dial-up Internet, web developers

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miss diminutive		2012-05-22 10:35:37 AM

Small wonder.

PYROY		2012-05-22 10:37:28 AM

I sort of feel the same way subby, only I wish death on the entire Canadian continent.

Harry Freakstorm		2012-05-22 10:39:03 AM

I got to update the lios on my chainsaw, eh? So I goes to the hardware store 'n I say "Mitch, this curflunker needs its Lio updated, eh. And Mitch says "Don't call me 'Mitch'. My name's Frank, eh. So I says "Frank, this here chainsaw needs the lios updated. Can I use yer phone line?" Mitch, er Frank says "Make it snappy, eh. I'm expecting a call from the Health Exchange. Dey says I might get on the list to get on the list to get a new kidney list." I says "Dat's great news. So you won't be packing dat dialysis machine around no more, eh?" "Nope," says Frank. "As soon, as I get that new kidney and push a few LaBlatties through it, I'll have to ship ol' Lady Dialysis to a guy in Wiskashontamarko, Saskatchewan."

So I removes the Lio cap and I says "Frank, you got an adapter, eh? The phone line don' connect noplace under this cap." Frank says "Why do you think you gotta update the Lios on this chainsaw anyhow?" I tells him it stopped working an' when that happened to the Macky-tosh, the guy from der city come up and he updated the Bios, eh? I got to looky on the chainsaw after it stopped and I found the LIO port. I figured it need updatin', eh?

Franky looks at the chainsaw and says, "You Looney but not money Looney, dat's not a computer Lio port, eh. That's the oil cap and you're looking at it up and side downy. You jus run yer chainsaw out of oil. Add some oil to it and hope it runs or yer gonna be cold this winter, eh."

So I bought a few quarts for the chain saw. Oiled her up and she's a cutting fine. I added a quart to the macky-tosh but she aint a-doin' so well. She must have been a 30 weight system.

Mr_Ectomy		2012-05-22 10:39:08 AM

So, it's 366,000 people, about 6%. Mmmm, I wonder how many Americans still use dial up?

3.5 Million? 6% you say?

Get your head out of your asses.

MythDragon		2012-05-22 10:40:40 AM

What, is DSL a basic human right now?

Farking Candians, why can't they just g
***carrier lost***

silverjets		2012-05-22 10:40:44 AM

Hundreds of thousands. Big deal. Wasn't there some survey from a couple of years ago showing that something like 100 million users in the US are still on dial up?

SweetSilverBlues		2012-05-22 10:41:47 AM

dittybopper: SweetSilverBlues: dittybopper: dywed88: TheOther: 56K...that's, what, about 43k in real bandwidth?

56k? Try the 28k that I had in 2008. Fark was one of the best sites on the internet, most content for the loading times.

Pfft. I was signing on to bulletin boards using a 300 baud modem back in the 1980s. We would have given our collective left testicles for even a 9600 baud modem back then, when 1200 baud meant you dropped some heavy cash on a new modem.

We ate dirt, and we were grateful for it!

Alternately, dad would slash us in two with breadknife.

Take your pick. ;)

Back then, you actually had to know modem commands to get it to do anything.

ATDT

LOL just having you on. I remember a bit (er, no pun intended). Was shipped overseas before we were able to really get into it, though.

I remember thinking it was farking amazing, though.

MythDragon		2012-05-22 10:42:52 AM

Also,

VenomousDuck		2012-05-22 10:42:59 AM

I want to point and laugh but I work in tech support for a company who offers dial-up, so I feel your pain every day.

What's that? No dial tone? Are you sure the phone line is plugged in?

Mr_Ectomy		2012-05-22 10:43:49 AM

Mr_Ectomy: 3.5 Million? 6% you say?

Oh, wait, that's just AOL. I don't have the full total.

Linux_Yes		2012-05-22 10:47:24 AM

millions of Americans still using dial-up.

and?

YouPeopleAreCrazy		2012-05-22 10:47:44 AM

eatsnackysmores: Before dumping on us poor Canucks, remember that there are plenty of American dial-up users:

That article talks about people staying on dial-up on purpose. No need, costs, etc. Not that they can't get it. Although there are quite a few of those.

Und Becks		2012-05-22 10:49:02 AM

Can't they still get satellite Internet access? I've never really looked into it myself (cable -> fios ftw), but I imagine it's better then dial-up if that's all you've got. At least for downloads, unless you get uploads over sat now.

LordOfThePings		2012-05-22 10:49:11 AM

Thanks, Obamanet!

Spongebob Plaid Pants		2012-05-22 10:49:30 AM

They could always get a Verizon MiFi wireless. I have two, and during the 40% of the time that they work, they can sometimes even work FASTER than dial-up! (But not often)

The Irresponsible Captain		2012-05-22 10:50:54 AM

Move to a first-world country like South Korea or Romania and out of the backwaters of the internet we have in North America.

//The internet sucks down here too.

YouPeopleAreCrazy		2012-05-22 10:51:00 AM

silverjets: Hundreds of thousands. Big deal. Wasn't there some survey from a couple of years ago showing that something like 100 million users in the US are still on dial up?

1/3 of the country? No. And if we take your statement literally - 100 million users - that wuold probably be 1/2, because not everyone is a user.

Of course, if you have some actual numbers...

Woot_Gawd		2012-05-22 10:51:01 AM

Hundreds of thousands?...Does Canada even have that many people?

/American
//Lives in Hamilton
///This thread was over in 5

Farkbert		2012-05-22 10:51:53 AM

Shakespeare's Monkey: [forum.ih8mud.com image 565x437]

Yeah well Canada has socialized medicine, so get off my lawn.

NO CARRIER

I think I have that exact same modem at home. 300baud. It worked last I checked when I used it to decode the last track of Peace and Love, Inc..

jaybeezey		2012-05-22 11:02:48 AM

I'm sure it's the same here in the states. Though i doubt that the cousin farking inbreds in the Appalachians even notice.

SweetHomeNowhere		2012-05-22 11:04:22 AM

The Irresponsible Captain: Move to a first-world country like South Korea or Romania and out of the backwaters of the internet we have in North America.

Except that South Korea has a very strong internet censorship and has a much higher chance of getting some kind of internet frauds than in North America. There's a price of getting a fast internet in South Korea according to my Korean in-laws.

farkturf		2012-05-22 11:05:23 AM

What, they don't have Hughes Net satellite internet in Canada where it only costs $300 per month to get DSL speeds?

dywed88		2012-05-22 11:07:22 AM

Und Becks: Can't they still get satellite Internet access? I've never really looked into it myself (cable -> fios ftw), but I imagine it's better then dial-up if that's all you've got. At least for downloads, unless you get uploads over sat now.

When my mother looked into it (around 2006) it cost a fortune (like 4 times dial-up or 3 times cable/dsl), had shiatty speeds and horrifying (by Canadian standards) bandwidth limits that you would be throttled down to dial-up speed upon reaching. Some areas had it via radio that was somewhere between the two in terms of cost and quality.

YouPeopleAreCrazy: That article talks about people staying on dial-up on purpose. No need, costs, etc. Not that they can't get it. Although there are quite a few of those.
I suggest you read more than the first couple paragraphs:
"According to the FCC report, 21 percent of dial-up users said broadband services weren't available in their area"
And it also discusses cost issues.
The CBC article doesn't provide numbers, but does say that some people choose dial-up because of their usage but it is getting harder to use because many sites simply won't function on 56k modems (if you are lucky enough to get a connection speed near that).
Really, the situations are essentially the same.

natazha		2012-05-22 11:07:36 AM

Mobile sites are great if you are stuck on a bad dial-up. Unfortunately, they are starting to get clogged with ads as well.

entropic_existence		2012-05-22 11:07:49 AM

Und Becks: Can't they still get satellite Internet access? I've never really looked into it myself (cable -> fios ftw), but I imagine it's better then dial-up if that's all you've got. At least for downloads, unless you get uploads over sat now.

They can, it is what my parent's have (all that is available). If the phone company upgraded the connection that sits a few hundred metres from my Parent's house they could have proper broadband but the company won't do it. Some of the people in the area even offered to pay for the upgrade out of pocket and still no go. The satellite is better than dial-up, but not by much.

Mr.Tangent		2012-05-22 11:07:55 AM

It's the only thing that works with our bionic beavers.

papazit		2012-05-22 11:14:38 AM

Two words for anyone who's still dialup-bound:
Opera Turbo

Server-side compression takes some of the pain out of slow links.

mekkab		2012-05-22 11:22:17 AM

This is HEADLINE OF THE YEAR material, Subby. You've managed to go from being humorous to evoking pathos, and even in some cases ennui. It's beautiful.

/and terrifying

Doink_Boink		2012-05-22 11:32:28 AM

I have relatives who quit the internet when their provider stopped offering dial up. This was a few years ago. They asked me to come and "fix" their situation. They couldn't just tell me over the phone, they needed me to some to their house and sit down at their table while they discussed the issue. Once there I notice their phone was a 60s relic and on the base was written: "BELL SYSTEM property." It was a rotary phone, mustard yellow. I told them they should get a better phone and they told me not if the phone company tries to charge them for tone dialing. I asked them what their phone bill is like, thinking it was cheap and a few bucks wouldn't be a big deal. Well, it would be cheap if they weren't still renting the same damn phone from 1960 at $16/month! We went with netzero, now they can go slow and steady into their Fox News sites. I bought them a $50 cordless phone that they now hate and blame me for the tone dialing fee, no mention of the $16 I'm saving them every month.

mohron		2012-05-22 11:35:58 AM

I also heard that they are afraid of the dark.

Link

Flint Ironstag		2012-05-22 11:42:26 AM

So thankful that the UK, by accident or design, got it right. Years ago BT, "The Phone Company" in the UK, was ordered to split. The network side had to allow any ISP access at the same price and conditions and be able to everyone in the country. I could start an ISP in my basement tomorrow and be able to compete with the big boys and cover the whole country.
Result is I have about fifty ISP to choose from, real competition, with choice on speeds, limits, throttling policy etc. And the network is being upgraded with more and more of the country on fibre. There are still a few odd areas stuck on dial up but they are rare.

Mr_Ectomy		2012-05-22 11:49:49 AM

Flint Ironstag: So thankful that the UK, by accident or design, got it right. Years ago BT, "The Phone Company" in the UK, was ordered to split. The network side had to allow any ISP access at the same price and conditions and be able to everyone in the country.

Nanny state gets it right?

/sorry, channeling the Americans

XMark		2012-05-22 11:50:18 AM

The worst part is, those of us Canadians with broadband internet still get geographically walled off from all the good video content online. Can we just join the US already? I wanna watch some Hulu.

broken jebus		2012-05-22 11:52:01 AM

I'd trade my super-fast internet connection for some of their kind bud.

mekkab		2012-05-22 12:01:18 PM

broken jebus: I'd trade my super-fast internet connection for some of their kind bud.

... THAT'S why they don't need fast internet!

/solved.

Hacker_X		2012-05-22 12:17:13 PM

Farkbert: Shakespeare's Monkey: [forum.ih8mud.com image 565x437]

Yeah well Canada has socialized medicine, so get off my lawn.

NO CARRIER

I think I have that exact same modem at home. 300baud. It worked last I checked when I used it to decode the last track of Peace and Love, Inc..

The commie 64 modem I had had a physical switch for selecting the baud rate, none of that fancy autonegotiation.

TheOther		2012-05-22 12:19:44 PM

GooberMcFly: Yeah? My internet used to be me dialling long distance into my ISP and yelling "ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ONE ONE ONE..."

Drove my wife nuts.

That's the high life, frontrunner! We weren't allowed to use fancy words like 'One' and 'Zero'. We had to vocalize the tones!

Sounded like a wookie havin' an orgasm.

Wade_Wilson		2012-05-22 12:43:49 PM

They're just waiting for the US to get nation wide wifi, and hoping we forget to password protect it.

Gough		2012-05-22 12:49:14 PM

Bhruic: Yup, my family's cottage has no highspeed access, and the dialup over the phone lines is pretty poor. And people wonder why stuff like always-on DRM is annoying.

We're in the same boat: 15 km from town and 2 km of private road= a long chunk of worn out copper wire. The vox quality is awful, you can only imagine how often the internet connection gets dropped. We're thrilled when we get 14 kBPS. It often takes about 5 minutes to download Environment Canada's weather radar animation...if you can stay online that long.

/OTOH, we're 30 meters from a 100 square km lake...the largest lake on the largest freshwater island in the world, so I'm usually OK with the internet service.

mekkab		2012-05-22 01:11:36 PM

Gough: /OTOH, we're 30 meters from a 100 square km lake...the largest lake on the largest freshwater island in the world, so I'm usually OK with the internet service.

Honesty? You're losing out on the deal. Think of all the cat videos you're missing. Think of all the Kim Kardashian news flashes you're losing out on. And those witty memes from the brain trust of 4chan.

_{/got room on the island?}

Electrify		2012-05-22 01:32:44 PM

In rural communities, why not use mobile internet? Even slow data is better than a 56k dial up. In an urban area if you cannot afford it, Wind and Mobilicity offer unlimited wireless data for a low rate. Not to mention wifi hotspots or discount broadband providers (ex: Tech Savvy).

SultanofSchwing		2012-05-22 01:36:13 PM

Electrify: In rural communities, why not use mobile internet? Even slow data is better than a 56k dial up. In an urban area if you cannot afford it, Wind and Mobilicity offer unlimited wireless data for a low rate. Not to mention wifi hotspots or discount broadband providers (ex: Tech Savvy).

Because some of those areas are also massive dead spots for digital cellular coverage.

dywed88		2012-05-22 01:38:25 PM

You are assuming that these areas that don't have Cable and DSL infrastructure have consistent 3G connections?
Not to mention that they are more expensive and generally have pretty low data allowances, and you definitely can't get providers such as Wind Mobile.

dywed88		2012-05-22 01:40:01 PM

Mobile internet will probably be what finally provides good internet to those ares at a reasonable cost, but it isn't there yet (in terms of infrastructure or cost).

Toy_Cop		2012-05-22 01:58:45 PM

What do you expect when 2-3 companies hold a monopoly for cell service, internet and cable tv? They are all actually working together now and offer pretty much the same plans. So no matter where you go you get a giant dildo shoved up your ass.

RckStr66		2012-05-22 02:18:11 PM

We live in a rural area and switched to a satelite connection thru Telus. It works quite well. I was surprised

Bathia_Mapes		2012-05-22 02:25:23 PM

NeedlesslyCanadian: What the hell? Who even offers dial-up anymore?

In the U.S. AOL. In my area, at least one company.

There are a lot of people in rural areas in both the U.S. & Canada that don't have access to broadband, either though a cable company or satellite dish. Dial-up is their only option if they want to get online.

russlar		2012-05-22 02:52:46 PM

so you guys use EhOL?

Marine1		2012-05-22 02:54:03 PM

miss diminutive: [www.statcan.gc.ca image 640x387]

Small wonder.

Farking this. Not just for Canada, but for the US as well.

You mean that a small country like The Netherlands with the population density of New Jersey is completely covered in broadband and Canada/the US (choose either one, depending which country you want to feel guilty about), which has huge gaps between moderately-sized towns, doesn't? It's obviously an indicator of how much more advanced Europeans are than us rednecks in the Western Hemisphere.