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(411Mania)   Vince McMahon figures out the reason WWE Films aren't doing so well; there just aren't enough three-foot penises on display   (411mania.com) divider line 74
    More: Amusing, Vince McMahon, WWE, Larry Csonka, vince, penis  
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4325 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 May 2012 at 10:23 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-22 04:37:21 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Why isn't this is the Sports tab?


WWE Films story. Definitely "Entertainment" material.

Now, if the Kane dork story goes viral and they make it a part of WWE shows, well...
 
2012-05-22 04:39:05 PM  

ManateeGag: well, they have a 6 foot penis in the middle of their main story line on RAW, so it's nothing new.


Technically speaking, John Cena is billed as 6' 1".
 
2012-05-22 04:41:57 PM  

Anarchangel: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Why isn't this is the Sports tab?

WWE Films story. Definitely "Entertainment" material.

Now, if the Kane dork story goes viral and they make it a part of WWE shows, well...


If they ever have Kane's three-foot dick on WWE TV, it had better be wearing a welder's mask.
 
2012-05-22 04:44:09 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Anarchangel: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Why isn't this is the Sports tab?

WWE Films story. Definitely "Entertainment" material.

Now, if the Kane dork story goes viral and they make it a part of WWE shows, well...

If they ever have Kane's three-foot dick on WWE TV, it had better be wearing a welder's mask.


a miniature version im sure.
 
2012-05-22 04:45:20 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Orgasmatron138: Actually, it's because he always has and always will fail at everything that isn't pro wrestling. As ashamed as he is of rasslin', he always will be a carney at heart.

You're copletely right.

Vince has always been ashamed of the fact that he's a wrasslin promoter... even if he's the #1 most successful wrasslin promoter. So, he has to do shiat like the XFL or WWE Films to try to legitimize himself in the eyes of industries that will never accept him. And when he fails, it drives him a little more batshiat crazy each time, until he thinks his wife can be elected senator.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-05-22 04:48:54 PM  
Big red monster indeed.
 
2012-05-22 05:03:55 PM  

verbaltoxin: [newspaper.li image 568x426]
YOUR DORK WOULD FRIGHTEN LARGE CATTLE TOO IF YOU REJECTED THE OVERBEARING, EMASCULATING GRIP OF A TYRANNICAL CENTRAL GOVERNMENT AND EMBRACED TRUE FREE MARKET PRINCIPLES, ALONG WITH READOPTING THE GOLD STANDARD AND REPEALING ALL REGULATIONS ON INTERNATIONAL TRADE.


Who is that?
 
2012-05-22 05:07:29 PM  

Cythraul: verbaltoxin: [newspaper.li image 568x426]
YOUR DORK WOULD FRIGHTEN LARGE CATTLE TOO IF YOU REJECTED THE OVERBEARING, EMASCULATING GRIP OF A TYRANNICAL CENTRAL GOVERNMENT AND EMBRACED TRUE FREE MARKET PRINCIPLES, ALONG WITH READOPTING THE GOLD STANDARD AND REPEALING ALL REGULATIONS ON INTERNATIONAL TRADE.

Who is that?


Kane, he who Vince decreed should have a 3-foot schwanz.
 
2012-05-22 05:09:01 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Cythraul: verbaltoxin: [newspaper.li image 568x426]
YOUR DORK WOULD FRIGHTEN LARGE CATTLE TOO IF YOU REJECTED THE OVERBEARING, EMASCULATING GRIP OF A TYRANNICAL CENTRAL GOVERNMENT AND EMBRACED TRUE FREE MARKET PRINCIPLES, ALONG WITH READOPTING THE GOLD STANDARD AND REPEALING ALL REGULATIONS ON INTERNATIONAL TRADE.

Who is that?

Kane, he who Vince decreed should have a 3-foot schwanz.


I wouldn't mind seeing that.
 
2012-05-22 05:17:23 PM  
i6.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-22 08:04:08 PM  

biyaaatci: [www4.picturepush.com image 480x353]


...

....

yeah that pretty much sums up what i thought.

/Jericho, I question your "Vince McMahon is the smartest man I know" sentiment in your books dude
 
2012-05-22 08:33:12 PM  

Tenor Reaper: biyaaatci: [www4.picturepush.com image 480x353]

...

....

yeah that pretty much sums up what i thought.

/Jericho, I question your "Vince McMahon is the smartest man I know" sentiment in your books dude


cmon you know everyone does that so that they can come and go as they please and keep getting paid.
 
2012-05-22 08:53:21 PM  

Dougie AXP: FirstNationalBastard: Anarchangel: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Why isn't this is the Sports tab?

WWE Films story. Definitely "Entertainment" material.

Now, if the Kane dork story goes viral and they make it a part of WWE shows, well...

If they ever have Kane's three-foot dick on WWE TV, it had better be wearing a welder's mask.

a miniature version im sure.


Dammit guys! How am I supposed to shop a welders mask on a silhouette?

Although, now that I think of it... I might be able to work that out stylistically...

/yes, that burning smell is me thinking
 
2012-05-22 09:27:20 PM  

Dougie AXP: FirstNationalBastard: Anarchangel: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Why isn't this is the Sports tab?

WWE Films story. Definitely "Entertainment" material.

Now, if the Kane dork story goes viral and they make it a part of WWE shows, well...

If they ever have Kane's three-foot dick on WWE TV, it had better be wearing a welder's mask.

a miniature version im sure.


I decided to compromise on the mask

Kane's 3 foot dong redux, still NSFW
 
2012-05-22 09:39:46 PM  

hobblekitty: Kane's 3 foot dong redux, still NSFW


awesome!!
 
2012-05-22 11:42:10 PM  

Gunny Highway: ihatedumbpeople: bluenote13: If Vince was not able to mainstream the WWE when Austin and the Rock were the headliners, it's not going to happen now. The ratings back then would lead you to believe you had some general popularity, the ratings now are about 60%-70% of that top ratings in the late 90's.

yeah, rock and SCSA were the last time I watched it with any regularity, and I grew up watching wrasslin' religiously...WWF, NWA, WCW, all that jazz. now it just seems silly...

It has always been silly.


Yeah, but now it's silly AND boring.
 
2012-05-23 12:48:58 AM  
I suppose it's technically SFW, but I figure I'll spare you the horror and let you only have yourselves to blame...

Kane and his 36" Python.
 
2012-05-23 09:48:55 AM  
This is where you should've stopped, Vince.
www.lethalwrestling.com

Went to see it when it had been out maybe less than a week (could've been opening weekend). The only people in the theater were my dad, my brother, and myself.
 
2012-05-23 11:22:49 AM  
HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE, KING, IT'S KANE'S TALLYWHACKER! (grabs Vince) TELL ME WHY, YOU SONOFABIATCH, TELL ME WHY!
 
2012-05-23 11:58:50 AM  

Zombie Eater: This is where you should've stopped, Vince.
[www.lethalwrestling.com image 306x535]

Went to see it when it had been out maybe less than a week (could've been opening weekend). The only people in the theater were my dad, my brother, and myself.


Holy crap! Kurt Fuller was in that trainwreck?
/Good thing it wasn't an indicator of his future
 
2012-05-23 02:04:10 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Orgasmatron138: Actually, it's because he always has and always will fail at everything that isn't pro wrestling. As ashamed as he is of rasslin', he always will be a carney at heart.

You're copletely right.

Vince has always been ashamed of the fact that he's a wrasslin promoter... even if he's the #1 most successful wrasslin promoter. So, he has to do shiat like the XFL or WWE Films to try to legitimize himself in the eyes of industries that will never accept him. And when he fails, it drives him a little more batshiat crazy each time, until he thinks his wife can be elected senator.


That's the thing: I am 100% sure, from what I know of him, he wanted to run. And only when he got back the polls did he see he wouldn't be able to.
 
2012-05-23 03:10:45 PM  
Vince has actually IRL become the freak he portrays himself to be in the WWE.

/chest bump
 
2012-05-23 10:22:30 PM  
You know, the funny thing, we went to the Alamo Drafthouse when the movie came out. My roomate's girlfriend was a big Kane fan, so I went with them, well also b/c I could get drunk while watching it, because I knew it was gonna suck.

I remember the scene with the girl in the cage, and Kane starts rubbing his junk...my friend said "that's gross, and not in a crappy way, it's just gross"

My reply, "Yeah, the only thing that could save this train wreck right now is if Kane whipped out his dong, and it were 3 feet."

Little did I know my wizardry was affluent even back then.

/Armbar
 
2012-05-24 06:00:41 PM  
Part me almost wants to see that movie now, knowing what could've been.
 
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