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(411Mania)   Vince McMahon figures out the reason WWE Films aren't doing so well; there just aren't enough three-foot penises on display   (411mania.com) divider line 74
    More: Amusing, Vince McMahon, WWE, Larry Csonka, vince, penis  
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4326 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 May 2012 at 10:23 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-22 08:35:18 AM  
I'd tune in to more pro-wrestling entertainment if they were to go forward with this business model.

Also, if Kane's natural equipment is inadequate, I could be his 'stunt cock.'
 
2012-05-22 10:27:10 AM  
Actually, it's because he always has and always will fail at everything that isn't pro wrestling. As ashamed as he is of rasslin', he always will be a carney at heart.
 
2012-05-22 10:27:12 AM  
If you wanted more proof that Vince McMahon has drifted into Howard Hughes territory now you have it.
 
2012-05-22 10:33:53 AM  
Vince in that meeting: Yes! We'll have Kane come out and just drop trow, and unleash that 3 footer on those girls like he's rolling out veiny sewer pipe! That purple dong'll be right there, in the open, throbbing and victorious! And then we'll get a close up of his balloon-sized grapefruits! It'll be massive and wonderful! DAMMIT! HAYES! Where's my gym sock and my creatine tacos?!
 
2012-05-22 10:40:21 AM  
well, they have a 6 foot penis in the middle of their main story line on RAW, so it's nothing new.
 
2012-05-22 10:43:52 AM  
Why don't they just get over themselves and let the guys fark in the ring?

It would certainly lead to me tuning in.
 
2012-05-22 10:44:29 AM  

ManateeGag: well, they have a 6 foot penis in the middle of their main story line on RAW, so it's nothing new.


IT'S A SLOBBERY KNOBBER!!!!
 
2012-05-22 10:45:03 AM  
Shouldn't this story be in the Sports tab?
 
2012-05-22 10:45:59 AM  
BAH GAWD THAT WOMAN HAS BEEN BROKEN IN HALF
 
2012-05-22 10:50:55 AM  
www4.picturepush.com
 
2012-05-22 11:01:48 AM  
So a guy on 411 saw a video where a different guy said he heard from another guy that Vince McMahon said something five years ago.

Wrestling journalism, ladies and gentlemen.
 
2012-05-22 11:06:05 AM  

Hoboclown: So a guy on 411 saw a video where a different guy said he heard from another guy that Vince McMahon said something five years ago.

Wrestling journalism, ladies and gentlemen.


www.cynicalsmirk.com
 
2012-05-22 11:07:54 AM  

Mega Steve: Hoboclown: So a guy on 411 saw a video where a different guy said he heard from another guy that Vince McMahon said something five years ago.

Wrestling journalism, ladies and gentlemen.

[www.cynicalsmirk.com image 320x240]


Is that me? Or the guy who believes everything he reads on the internet?
 
2012-05-22 11:11:03 AM  
Wow, Chyna recovered fast from her collapse at the porn awards or whatever it was.

\OH! Penis
\\I thought it said 3' clenis
 
2012-05-22 11:11:08 AM  

Hoboclown: Mega Steve: Hoboclown: So a guy on 411 saw a video where a different guy said he heard from another guy that Vince McMahon said something five years ago.

Wrestling journalism, ladies and gentlemen.

[www.cynicalsmirk.com image 320x240]

Is that me? Or the guy who believes everything he reads on the internet?


It's the "It's still real to me, dammit!" guy. Link
 
2012-05-22 11:16:02 AM  
"We've already beat this horse pretty much to death last night, Brain. Is there anything else to add?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"Alright."

"... Wait just a second folks."
 
2012-05-22 11:17:33 AM  

Hoboclown: Mega Steve: Hoboclown: So a guy on 411 saw a video where a different guy said he heard from another guy that Vince McMahon said something five years ago.

Wrestling journalism, ladies and gentlemen.

[www.cynicalsmirk.com image 320x240]

Is that me? Or the guy who believes everything he reads on the internet?


There's a difference?
 
2012-05-22 11:20:19 AM  

Bobby_and_The_Gorilla: "We've already beat this horse pretty much to death last night, Brain. Is there anything else to add?"

"Nothing comes to mind."

"Alright."

"... Wait just a second folks."


"OH! Will you stop?!"

"I also could've said something about stiff competition, limp box office sales, and not having strokes of good luck. Take your pick."
 
2012-05-22 11:20:48 AM  
Not really relevant, but I did actually see a pretty good "wrestling" movie in the WCW days. It was called "The Real Reason (Men Commit Crimes)" I think. Starred Sting. I enjoyed it!

Nothing but bubblegum since WWE, though.
 
2012-05-22 11:27:44 AM  
Sounds legit.
 
2012-05-22 11:38:24 AM  
3' pianist
 
2012-05-22 11:40:46 AM  
He's just hungry for strudel.
 
2012-05-22 11:46:32 AM  
I though he was taller than that.
 
2012-05-22 11:51:29 AM  
The only WWE movie I remember seeing was the "Battle Royale" one in the jungle. Great concept, acceptable acting, adequate plot, really really crappy direction and editing.

Given the way the others have been received, I am going to guess there are some similarities with all the others.

/dnrtfa
 
2012-05-22 11:59:01 AM  
You mean the genius behind the Katie Vick angle might have a screw loose?

Noooo...
 
2012-05-22 12:14:00 PM  

verbaltoxin: Vince in that meeting: Yes! We'll have Kane come out and just drop trow, and unleash that 3 footer on those girls like he's rolling out veiny sewer pipe! That purple dong'll be right there, in the open, throbbing and victorious! And then we'll get a close up of his balloon-sized grapefruits! It'll be massive and wonderful! DAMMIT! HAYES! Where's my gym sock and my creatine tacos?!


i need a warning before Senile Vince starts posting. I starting loling a little to loud in my cube.

/creatine taco..you magnificent bastard
 
2012-05-22 12:24:24 PM  
 
2012-05-22 12:54:10 PM  
Vince McMahon is a person perpetually stuck in the Mid-Reagan era. He thinks he can brutalize workers, lie to the government, and his solution is to get himself elected to congress - until he realized he'll never be able to, so he stuck his wife out there instead. He thinks if he can just get a bit more exposure to someone he'll finally be set.
 
2012-05-22 01:09:16 PM  
Clenis thread!
 
2012-05-22 01:15:22 PM  

SweetSilverBlues: Not really relevant, but I did actually see a pretty good "wrestling" movie in the WCW days. It was called "The Real Reason (Men Commit Crimes)" I think. Starred Sting. I enjoyed it!


It was a surprisingly good movie. WWE Films should watch it.

no, they shouldn't. It'll be remade with Booker T shucky ducky-ing his way through mind numbingly terrible performance
 
2012-05-22 01:18:03 PM  
 
2012-05-22 01:32:29 PM  
If Vince was not able to mainstream the WWE when Austin and the Rock were the headliners, it's not going to happen now. The ratings back then would lead you to believe you had some general popularity, the ratings now are about 60%-70% of that top ratings in the late 90's.
 
2012-05-22 01:42:05 PM  
I remember there being a monster-movie about monsters wrestling each other. As a fan of kaiju wrestling I thought it would be worth watching. Haven't gotten around to it though. Any good?
 
2012-05-22 01:54:17 PM  
The article fails to mention the most important thing: did the re-write leave the shlong in or not!?!?! inquiring minds want to know!!
 
2012-05-22 01:59:42 PM  

bluenote13: If Vince was not able to mainstream the WWE when Austin and the Rock were the headliners, it's not going to happen now. The ratings back then would lead you to believe you had some general popularity, the ratings now are about 60%-70% of that top ratings in the late 90's.


yeah, rock and SCSA were the last time I watched it with any regularity, and I grew up watching wrasslin' religiously...WWF, NWA, WCW, all that jazz. now it just seems silly...
 
2012-05-22 02:03:22 PM  

ihatedumbpeople: bluenote13: If Vince was not able to mainstream the WWE when Austin and the Rock were the headliners, it's not going to happen now. The ratings back then would lead you to believe you had some general popularity, the ratings now are about 60%-70% of that top ratings in the late 90's.

yeah, rock and SCSA were the last time I watched it with any regularity, and I grew up watching wrasslin' religiously...WWF, NWA, WCW, all that jazz. now it just seems silly...


It has always been silly.
 
2012-05-22 02:18:35 PM  

P-Money All $tar: NSFW rendering of what it actually looks like


No. Fark no. I just ate lunch - there is no chance in hell I'm clicking on that.
 
2012-05-22 02:25:43 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Damn good column about Vince's failed attempts at mainstreaming himself, the the toll they've taken on the WWE as a whole.

Despite McMahon's ham-fisted attempts to edit the dictionary-at-large by substituting "wrestling" with "sports-entertainment", "belt" with "championship", among other euphemistic switcheroos, it's still "wrestling" to the casual observer. When they put on Monday Night Raw, they see two men, usually in wrestling tights and wrestling boots, performing wrestling holds in a wrestling ring while a wrestling referee oversees the acts one associates with wrestling.


Has this guy ever watched Monday Night Raw?
 
2012-05-22 02:26:45 PM  

Farktologist: P-Money All $tar: NSFW rendering of what it actually looks like

No. Fark no. I just ate lunch - there is no chance in hell I'm clicking on that.

ringtalk.com

You got!
NO CHANCE!
Badabadabada
NO CHANCE IN HELL!
You got!
 
2012-05-22 02:37:39 PM  
Not even gonna front...I liked See No Evil.

/in a "so bad it's good way"
 
2012-05-22 03:03:12 PM  
newspaper.li
YOUR DORK WOULD FRIGHTEN LARGE CATTLE TOO IF YOU REJECTED THE OVERBEARING, EMASCULATING GRIP OF A TYRANNICAL CENTRAL GOVERNMENT AND EMBRACED TRUE FREE MARKET PRINCIPLES, ALONG WITH READOPTING THE GOLD STANDARD AND REPEALING ALL REGULATIONS ON INTERNATIONAL TRADE.
 
2012-05-22 03:18:29 PM  
The funniest thing is the reason people like me - single, fairly well off, male, and whom has a long history of watching wrestling - have turned it off is his constant stabs at "respectability". No new stars brought up, meaningless titles (when I was watching, a title change in 3 months was shocking, now I can't even tell you who holds the IC belts, or how many tag belts there are), and half of the guys brought in are entirely interchangeable. I'm not sitting here pining for Hogan and Savage - that boat sailed. Or even for Rock/Austin. I just want interesting people, fighting for a reason. A title that means something. Feuds that have a logical basis and a proper sendoff. Vince hasn't provided that in years. The only reason he remains so dominate in wrestling is his competition is so small or so stupid they can't match him.
 
2012-05-22 03:18:38 PM  

verbaltoxin: [newspaper.li image 568x426]
YOUR DORK WOULD FRIGHTEN LARGE CATTLE TOO IF YOU REJECTED THE OVERBEARING, EMASCULATING GRIP OF A TYRANNICAL CENTRAL GOVERNMENT AND EMBRACED TRUE FREE MARKET PRINCIPLES, ALONG WITH READOPTING THE GOLD STANDARD AND REPEALING ALL REGULATIONS ON INTERNATIONAL TRADE.


that pic will make me laugh forever i fear.
 
2012-05-22 03:19:29 PM  
It's nice they found a role for Hornswoggle.
 
2012-05-22 03:25:19 PM  

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: Damn good column about Vince's failed attempts at mainstreaming himself, the the toll they've taken on the WWE as a whole.



ftla:

Add to that the shifting of terminologies, plus his hands-on supervision of commentary, particularly his galvanizing of propaganda into the mouth of the once-respected journalist Michael Cole

right here is where this article takes a nose dive from the rafters onto a turnbuckle
 
2012-05-22 03:38:27 PM  

saintstryfe: The funniest thing is the reason people like me - single, fairly well off, male, and whom has a long history of watching wrestling - have turned it off is his constant stabs at "respectability". No new stars brought up, meaningless titles (when I was watching, a title change in 3 months was shocking, now I can't even tell you who holds the IC belts, or how many tag belts there are), and half of the guys brought in are entirely interchangeable. I'm not sitting here pining for Hogan and Savage - that boat sailed. Or even for Rock/Austin. I just want interesting people, fighting for a reason. A title that means something. Feuds that have a logical basis and a proper sendoff. Vince hasn't provided that in years. The only reason he remains so dominate in wrestling is his competition is so small or so stupid they can't match him.


I still catch it from time to time, and the Jericho/Punk/Cena smack talking can be highly amusing.

Once they got Jericho off the stupid Punk and his whole family are nothing but junkie whores. Jericho doesn't need that cringeworthy shiat to be a heel.
 
2012-05-22 03:38:34 PM  

Farktologist: P-Money All $tar: NSFW rendering of what it actually looks like

No. Fark no. I just ate lunch - there is no chance in hell I'm clicking on that.


You'll laugh more than anything....

CLEEEECK IT!!
 
2012-05-22 04:01:19 PM  

MagSeven: Farktologist: P-Money All $tar: NSFW rendering of what it actually looks like

No. Fark no. I just ate lunch - there is no chance in hell I'm clicking on that.
[ringtalk.com image 454x350]

You got!
NO CHANCE!
Badabadabada
NO CHANCE IN HELL!
You got!


i am glad I have my own office so no one heard my lol
 
2012-05-22 04:20:10 PM  

Orgasmatron138: Actually, it's because he always has and always will fail at everything that isn't pro wrestling. As ashamed as he is of rasslin', he always will be a carney at heart.


You're copletely right.

Vince has always been ashamed of the fact that he's a wrasslin promoter... even if he's the #1 most successful wrasslin promoter. So, he has to do shiat like the XFL or WWE Films to try to legitimize himself in the eyes of industries that will never accept him. And when he fails, it drives him a little more batshiat crazy each time, until he thinks his wife can be elected senator.
 
2012-05-22 04:27:11 PM  
Why isn't this is the Sports tab?
 
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