Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Coming Soon)   George Lucas talks Indiana Jones 5. Which is obviously crazy talk considering the fourth one never happened   (comingsoon.net) divider line 131
    More: Asinine, Indiana Jones 5, George Lucas, crystal skull, Alfred Hitchcock, MacGuffins, Steven Spielberg  
•       •       •

2754 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 22 May 2012 at 5:03 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



131 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-05-21 11:55:54 PM  
For humanity's sake, I will sell my childhood to George Lucas, and he can ruin it however he sees fit. Maybe that will be enough to keep him from ruining all of yours.
 
2012-05-21 11:59:39 PM  
I wonder what lead-lined appliance Jones will hide in this time
 
2012-05-22 12:03:44 AM  
Indiana Jones and the Last Bottle of Viagra
 
2012-05-22 12:15:35 AM  
Indiana Jones and the $2.99 Early Bird Special at Denny's
 
2012-05-22 12:19:20 AM  
Indiana Jones and the enlarged prostate.
 
2012-05-22 12:29:03 AM  
Mutt Williams and the Next Crusade.
 
2012-05-22 12:48:04 AM  

ArkAngel: I wonder what lead-lined appliance Jones will hide in this time


A condom.
 
2012-05-22 12:51:24 AM  
I hope he goes urban with this one. Indiana Jones: Thugge Life
 
2012-05-22 12:52:10 AM  
Indiana Jones and theSNNNNNNXXXXXXXXX!

/decided to not go with a Callista joke
 
2012-05-22 12:56:42 AM  
Indiana Jones and the bingo parlor?
 
2012-05-22 12:57:04 AM  
FTFA: A term popularized by Alfred Hitchcock, a MacGuffin refers to a narrative element that drives the story forward. The Indiana Jones series is famous for making the MacGuffin the object of Dr. Jones' search. In the first film, it's the Ark of the Convenant, the second the Sankara Stones, the third the Holy Grail and the most recent the Crystal Skull.

No, a MacGuffin is supposed to have no other effect on the plot. In the first film, its the Chachapoyan Fertility Idol, the second its Nurhachi's Ashes, the third the Cross of Coronado and then that's it. The Grail, the Stones and the Ark all came to be key elements in the climaxes of the three films. And that's it. There have been no films since then.
 
2012-05-22 01:00:38 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Indiana Jones and the Immaculate Lawn"
 
2012-05-22 01:05:35 AM  
I really hate George Lucas.
 
2012-05-22 01:05:53 AM  

Somacandra: No, a MacGuffin is supposed to have no other effect on the plot. In the first film, its the Chachapoyan Fertility Idol, the second its Nurhachi's Ashes, the third the Cross of Coronado and then that's it. The Grail, the Stones and the Ark all came to be key elements in the climaxes of the three films. And that's it. There have been no films since then.


Bingo.

I remember learning about the "MacGuffin" in a high school writing class. I had a great moment of clarity when I remembered back to an old G.I. Joe cartoon episode from childhood in which the team is literally infiltrating Cobra in order to find "The MacGuffin Device," and remembering being really irked as a kid that they never explained what it did.
 
2012-05-22 01:08:50 AM  
 
2012-05-22 01:14:07 AM  
#4 sucked but I'll still watch the next one. And you all will too.
 
2012-05-22 01:18:37 AM  
He could set it in Florida at a retirement home by the beach. Indiana Jones and the Search for Seashells
 
2012-05-22 01:24:06 AM  

Confabulat: He could set it in Florida at a retirement home by the beach. Indiana Jones and the Search for Seashells


Hey, now. John Spartan is going to need those seashells, even if he doesn't know how they work.
 
2012-05-22 01:40:12 AM  
I really don't get why people objected to the last one so strongly. Yeah, it was unrealistic as hell. Okay, now rewatch the original three. Were any of them particularly believable?

They're not supposed to be realistic. They're supposed to be based on mid century pulp novels with widely exaggerated stories, where facts were suspended when they didn't serve the story. You suspend disbelief, and they entertain. IMO, the fourth fit pretty well in that context.

Knock it if you want, but really, you're acting like the people who analyze the validity of Star Trek by pointing out that the technology doesn't exist. It's just an incredibly vapid exercise.
 
2012-05-22 01:47:24 AM  
cptjeff
If you did not notice the difference in the writing (not even the overall plot - just the dialog), the acting, and the momentum of the 4th movie as compared to the first three, seek help!
 
2012-05-22 02:02:25 AM  

HakunaMatata: cptjeff
If you did not notice the difference in the writing (not even the overall plot - just the dialog), the acting, and the momentum of the 4th movie as compared to the first three, seek help!


I actually don't mind the first 40 minutes or so. It's got some momentum, we revisit the warehouse, and I liked Indy in the nuclear village overall, just an odd place to see him, fridge nuking aside.

But the rest of the movie is useless. As far as I can remember, I think it consists of Indiana Jones running around and having no effect on any actual plot.
 
wee
2012-05-22 02:16:25 AM  
Shakes. Why did it have to be shakes?
 
2012-05-22 02:24:23 AM  

cptjeff: They're not supposed to be realistic. They're supposed to be based on mid century pulp novels with widely exaggerated stories, where facts were suspended when they didn't serve the story. You suspend disbelief, and they entertain. IMO, the fourth fit pretty well in that context.


You don't get it...the complaint isn't that it was unrealistic. The problem was it sucked.
 
2012-05-22 03:03:39 AM  

cptjeff: I really don't get why people objected to the last one so strongly. Yeah, it was unrealistic as hell. Okay, now rewatch the original three. Were any of them particularly believable?

They're not supposed to be realistic. They're supposed to be based on mid century pulp novels with widely exaggerated stories, where facts were suspended when they didn't serve the story. You suspend disbelief, and they entertain. IMO, the fourth fit pretty well in that context.

Knock it if you want, but really, you're acting like the people who analyze the validity of Star Trek by pointing out that the technology doesn't exist. It's just an incredibly vapid exercise.


Pay attention, children. This is how you troll.
 
2012-05-22 03:11:33 AM  
Indiana Jones and the Get Off My Lawn!
 
2012-05-22 03:14:15 AM  
5th? 4th? what ever happened to 3??
I remember the original and the one with sean connery.
They made more??
 
2012-05-22 04:40:18 AM  

optikeye: cptjeff: They're not supposed to be realistic. They're supposed to be based on mid century pulp novels with widely exaggerated stories, where facts were suspended when they didn't serve the story. You suspend disbelief, and they entertain. IMO, the fourth fit pretty well in that context.

You don't get it...the complaint isn't that it was unrealistic. The problem was it sucked.


People don't seem to focus on the "it sucked" part, most of the complaints go by way of "surviving a nuke blast in a fridge? How unrealistic". Or "Aliens? How unrealistic". Only a handful say "goddamn that stupid farking kid he ruins all films he's in".

Anyway, I wish people would stop claiming their childhood destroyed by alterations. He hasn't gone back and altered childhoods. The fun had watching original films was still real, he hasn't sucked it out of existence by modifying a film, or creating a bad sequel.
 
2012-05-22 05:28:00 AM  
You know what really grinds my gears about the fourth one?

The CGI and the gophers/monkeys.

I can deal with the fridge, the aliens, LeBeef, Marion's overacting, old Indy and pared down charm. But a lot of it jsut didn't look real. It just didn't have the same grain as the other Indy films.
 
2012-05-22 05:38:44 AM  
latimesblogs.latimes.com

What a 5th Indiana Jones might look like.
 
2012-05-22 05:51:05 AM  

Oysterman: [latimesblogs.latimes.com image 500x280]

What a 5th Indiana Jones might look like.


Can't believe it took this long.

Just as I've not seen Star Wars II, III and IJ4, I will undoubtedly remain home for this crapfest.
 
2012-05-22 05:54:17 AM  
Saw Crystal Skull once, on opening weekend. I don't remember much, the trauma...it's just too great.

I do remember hating Shia and being really disappointed with what they did to Marion.

Also a snake
 
2012-05-22 06:06:59 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Oh, great - Indiana Jones and the McMuffin. I should have known it would come to this...
 
2012-05-22 06:13:13 AM  

Confabulat: HakunaMatata: cptjeff
If you did not notice the difference in the writing (not even the overall plot - just the dialog), the acting, and the momentum of the 4th movie as compared to the first three, seek help!

I actually don't mind the first 40 minutes or so. It's got some momentum, we revisit the warehouse, and I liked Indy in the nuclear village overall, just an odd place to see him, fridge nuking aside.

But the rest of the movie is useless. As far as I can remember, I think it consists of Indiana Jones running around and having no effect on any actual plot.


Unlike, say, the first movie, where he could've been removed from the story and it would've ended exactly the same?
 
2012-05-22 06:30:40 AM  

Somacandra: FTFA: A term popularized by Alfred Hitchcock, a MacGuffin refers to a narrative element that drives the story forward. The Indiana Jones series is famous for making the MacGuffin the object of Dr. Jones' search. In the first film, it's the Ark of the Convenant, the second the Sankara Stones, the third the Holy Grail and the most recent the Crystal Skull.

No, a MacGuffin is supposed to have no other effect on the plot. In the first film, its the Chachapoyan Fertility Idol, the second its Nurhachi's Ashes, the third the Cross of Coronado and then that's it. The Grail, the Stones and the Ark all came to be key elements in the climaxes of the three films. And that's it. There have been no films since then.


Came in to say basically this. It's a Macguffin only if it could easily be replaced with any other item without changing any other part of the movie. The idol on the pedestal that triggers the boulder could have been a diamond, a whirligig, or a really heavy toothbrush and you wouldn't have had to change anythign other than direct references to it in associated dialogue. The same does not apply to, say, the Grail. If the grail was something else none of the eternal life/you have chosen poorly/knights templar shiat would have made any sense.

I would assume that, were a fourth movie to have been made, a theoretical skull made of some sort of mineral might be replaced with any other sort of device/object, since there's no more thematic or referential reasons that it should, say, summon aliens than a holy lawn chair or a giant dildo made of expired beef. So it's a good thing that no fourth movie was ever made, because such a hackneyed reliance on an outmoded and nonsensical plot device would make it look even stupider when everyone with an IQ over room temperature started to wonder which writer suffered a stroke between 3 and 4. Good thing.
 
2012-05-22 06:35:37 AM  
You guys just don't see the potential. Since this is number five it'll be IJ in da Hood, but then after that it'll have to be Indiana Jones In SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! !!

Obviously the encounter with aliens screwed up Mutt so much that he sold himself into slavery to an inner city human trafficking ring (movie 5, Indy teams up with the Black Panthers to find him using some silly artifact) but Mutt was bought by the aliens for perpetual anal probing an then Indy goes to space to save him only for Mutt to die gruesomely on camera.
 
2012-05-22 06:48:09 AM  
Obligatory, and as usual, right on the money

/Pizza roll
 
2012-05-22 06:56:11 AM  
I watched the 4th one only recently and while the story line was bad I couldn't help but notice something I didn't see mentioned in all the bad reviews. The bluescreen and CGI work was awful. The entire film looked fake like they didn't try to hide it was filmed on a movie set. I've seen plenty of awful cheap films that didn't look so fake. It just looked they like propped actors in front of cheap badly made props and an image backdrop pulled from searching Google.
 
2012-05-22 07:06:24 AM  

perigee: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 460x272]

Oh, great - Indiana Jones and the McMuffin. I should have known it would come to this...


You bastard.
I wake up hung over, and the first image that catches my eye is your pic of a tasty EggaMuffin.
Now I've got to put some pants on, and drive a half mile to get one, and a slab of them goddamn greasy ass hash browns.
Thanks a lot.
 
2012-05-22 07:46:12 AM  
Right, because Crystal Skull is somehow worse then Temple of Screaming White Biatch Who's farking The Director. Now let me go watch a guy get his heart pulled out of his chest and then stare at it for awhile. Because that is NOT, I repeat NOT dumber then surviving a nuclear explosion in a fridge.

/Kalihma
 
2012-05-22 07:59:04 AM  

magic_patch: You know what really grinds my gears about the fourth one?

The CGI and the gophers/monkeys.

I can deal with the fridge, the aliens, LeBeef, Marion's overacting, old Indy and pared down charm. But a lot of it jsut didn't look real. It just didn't have the same grain as the other Indy films.


Jesus h christ on a cracker, THISx1.21Jiggathises
 
2012-05-22 08:02:29 AM  
Indiana Jones and the 120 Minute Wait at the Supermarket Express Line
 
2012-05-22 08:05:35 AM  
I wish Lucas would get around to making a Star Wars prequel trilogy, too.

/speaking of things that have never happened
 
2012-05-22 08:07:44 AM  
We get it. He's old. You're all hilarious.
 
2012-05-22 08:08:34 AM  
I liked the last one, I thought it had good action scenes and was fun.
 
2012-05-22 08:13:49 AM  
You realize the next Indiana Jones will probably have Shia TheBeef in the lead role, right?
 
2012-05-22 08:14:57 AM  

Tat'dGreaser: I liked the last one, I thought it had good action scenes and was fun.


YOU HAVE NO TASTE IN FIWAGRBABARGRBAGRBARABABABAEL!!11!!1!

/no people don;t have to like it
//it's just as dumb as ToD which everyone who hates CS gives a free pass too
 
2012-05-22 08:15:34 AM  

Oysterman: [latimesblogs.latimes.com image 500x280]

What a 5th Indiana Jones might look like.


Am I the only one that gets kinda turned on by the George Lucas / Indiana Jones rape scene from South Park?
 
2012-05-22 08:15:54 AM  

Jim from Saint Paul: Tat'dGreaser: I liked the last one, I thought it had good action scenes and was fun.

YOU HAVE NO TASTE IN FIWAGRBABARGRBAGRBARABABABAEL!!11!!1!

/no people don;t have to like it
//it's just as dumb as ToD which everyone who hates CS gives a free pass too


damnit
 
2012-05-22 08:22:48 AM  
It was obvious from the 4th one that there would be a 5th as he is passing the torch to Shia Leterrible actor. The things that ruined 4 for me were the fridge scene which was kinda stupid, the Shia goes Tarzan which I remember sitting in the theater thinking this is the dumbest thing ever, and the ending which I'm not saying was aliens but it was aliens. If I can overlook those parts the other 15% of the movie was watchable. I think I'll wait until DVD for the new one
 
2012-05-22 08:23:57 AM  

SurfaceTension: I wish Lucas would get around to making a Star Wars prequel trilogy, too.

/speaking of things that have never happened


Man... Have I got bad news for you...
 
Displayed 50 of 131 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report