"From the get-go, we knew it was in trouble," Bock says, "but I don't think anyone expected it to gross less than John Carter did."

Stop, please, stop right there...

Pretty much EVERYONE expected it to wallow in slop. It's a movie based on a board game, for God's sake! Jesus, people bag on comic books being made into movies, yet the comic books actually have pretty deeply developed characters with backstory and interesting stuff like inner demons... Hell, even movies based of farking video games have a better chance of being interesting.

Stupid farking morons, I'd rather see 10 more 'Ghost Rider's and 20 more 'Starsky and Hutch's than another movie made from a farking board game!

Senordos13: thismomentinblackhistory: Sybarite: [i522.photobucket.com image 292x654]

I see your Master Mind and raise you:

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 640x465]

LOVE IT.

The hazards/fix cards only work when you use an outrageous french accent!

/!!!ESSANCE!!!
//INCREVABLE!!!

We always played Mille Bornes with a terrible non-accent. So increvable was pronounced "increevable." And Essance was plain ol' "essence." I'm sure we were playing it very wrong too, cause I don't remember ever even seeing an instruction book. I loved that game.

thismomentinblackhistory: Sybarite: [i522.photobucket.com image 292x654]

I see your Master Mind and raise you:

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 640x465]

hellllzzzz ya!!! couferee muther f er!!!!

IAAl: Guess we can look forward to Tick-Tack-Toe next summer.

Hey, if they can work in this guy, it could be interesting.



/shouldn't be obscure

If the Battleship movie tied in more to the game maybe I'd watch it, but I don't remember the game having a bunch of aliens.

Though, I would pay to see a Paranoia movie

/nerd

I'm telling you, Uno, starring Danny Trejo, would be awesome.

I think the key to making a movie off a board game is well, the game has to have something of a story already. Clue, Monopoly, Risk, all could work, because you have something of a backstory to each. Clue is a murder mystery, Monopoly is like Mad men, and Risk is about global military strat.

to make battleship an alien flick is just weird. I would have figured they could have stayed clos to roots and made it a naval warfare movie with a hook, like the fleets meeting in bad weather/night and having to literally take shots in the dark and see what hits, while trying not to revel their own positions.

AllUpInYa: Though, I would pay to see a Paranoia movie

/nerd

I wonder how many Portal fanbois would rage over The Computer.

There is only one boardgame that'd evoke the "Shutup and take my money!" in me.

The Flexecutioner: Craptastic: I want to see a "Mousetrap" movie. Maybe the CGI team can get that shiat to work like it's supposed to.


/I never could.

YES. Studio Ghibli needs a new project!


Too late.

BumpInTheNight: There is only one boardgame that'd evoke the "Shutup and take my money!" in me.

[images.boardgamegeek.com image 350x454]

Robo Jox wasn't good enough for ya?

No! It was supposed to be a two-picture deal, followed by Ravenous, Ravenous Rhinoceroses: Electric Boogaloo

Flappyhead: BumpInTheNight: There is only one boardgame that'd evoke the "Shutup and take my money!" in me.

[images.boardgamegeek.com image 350x454]

Robo Jox wasn't good enough for ya?

My most prominent memory of that movie was the missile fist, and the second one if I remember correctly they spent the entire movie indoors without a mech in site until the last 3 minutes.

/plus I'd really like to see a Natasha Kerensky

TFA:

Are you seriously farking kidding? I can see some executive at Universal scheming about how they were going to rape our childhoods all over again.... These people need to put the coke straws down.

BumpInTheNight: Flappyhead: BumpInTheNight: There is only one boardgame that'd evoke the "Shutup and take my money!" in me.

[images.boardgamegeek.com image 350x454]

Robo Jox wasn't good enough for ya?

My most prominent memory of that movie was the missile fist, and the second one if I remember correctly they spent the entire movie indoors without a mech in site until the last 3 minutes.

/plus I'd really like to see a Natasha Kerensky

We'd need someone with a good, hard body. Biel?

How about a Crossbows and Catapults game? They smash each others strongholds, only to rebuild it over and battle again. The winner will be determined by whichever team fits the most rubber bands on their crossbow.
For extra awesomeness, the WWE can produce it and cast it using their stars.

AllUpInYa: Though, I would pay to see a Paranoia movie

I would wet myself in line to see that movie. I'd go multiple times and I'd take friends.

I'm a big fan of naval history and I have two thick books about battleships.
I was in the Navy for ten years.
I've watched the Japanese movie "Yamato" with subtitles and have the NOVA episode on DVD.
I've read Admiral Yamamato's biography.

I am NOT ever going to watch the movie "Battleship".
I want to be paid for having seen the trailer; it was too stupid to have been produced.

I would have died to see a great BattleShip movie. A huge WWII epic or maybe even a WWIII epic where an EMP disabled all modern weapons and they had to "bring out the big guns" and with a lack of computers they had to use manual sighting and graph paper and those cool see-through charts and maybe even little models on a board that they had to move around with a stick.. And with our modern navy being totally geared towards computers they would have had to go find Earnest Borgnine and Clint Eastwood and people like that to teach these kids how to wage war, OLD SCHOOL.

Seriously, they could have made a very cool movie.

But they went with aliens because they dont want to "alienate" any of their world markets.

Aliens? Seriously?

"Hippos" will proceed as planned.

Sam Jackson, start rehearsing "THESE MUTHAFARKIN HIPPOS ARE HONGRY!"

Flappyhead: BumpInTheNight: Flappyhead: BumpInTheNight: There is only one boardgame that'd evoke the "Shutup and take my money!" in me.

[images.boardgamegeek.com image 350x454]

Robo Jox wasn't good enough for ya?

My most prominent memory of that movie was the missile fist, and the second one if I remember correctly they spent the entire movie indoors without a mech in site until the last 3 minutes.

/plus I'd really like to see a Natasha Kerensky

We'd need someone with a good, hard body. Biel?

That could work, I guess it'd depend on when they'd set it, if it was during the clan invasion (which I think would be ideal) she'd be pushing into milfier casting so either Sigorney weaver or Julianne Moore.

It really is just a more expensive Skyline.

AllUpInYa: Though, I would pay to see a Paranoia movie

/nerd

That could actually be good. Especially if you got someone who really understands dark humor and comic violence to direct.

Cast The Rock, Brandon Frasier, and Keanu Reeves as troubleshooters and you could see them all repeatedly kill each other in spectacularly gruesome ways. Playing dumb, clueless shlubs who don't have a clue about what's going on isn't going to tax their 'acting' ability.

BumpInTheNight: There is only one boardgame that'd evoke the "Shutup and take my money!" in me.

[images.boardgamegeek.com image 350x454]

Please say the actual game system would NOT be involved. I still have nightmares about that thing.

/although I'd scream 'shut up, take my money' for the Stackpole Blood of Kerensky trilogy to hit the screen, oh my yes

BumpInTheNight: Flappyhead: BumpInTheNight: Flappyhead: BumpInTheNight: There is only one boardgame that'd evoke the "Shutup and take my money!" in me.

[images.boardgamegeek.com image 350x454]

Robo Jox wasn't good enough for ya?

My most prominent memory of that movie was the missile fist, and the second one if I remember correctly they spent the entire movie indoors without a mech in site until the last 3 minutes.

/plus I'd really like to see a Natasha Kerensky

We'd need someone with a good, hard body. Biel?

That could work, I guess it'd depend on when they'd set it, if it was during the clan invasion (which I think would be ideal) she'd be pushing into milfier casting so either Sigorney weaver or Julianne Moore.

Moore. You can't go wrong with a woman that willing to get nekkid.

Now what I'm going to do with my "Simon" script?

/Had Martin Lawrence and Benedict Cumberbatch already casted...

Am I really the first to suggest an epic battlefield period piece based on Stratego? I'm thinking Johnny Depp as the Blue Spy...

SockMonkeyHolocaust: It really is just a more expensive Skyline.

Since when was this a thread about Cincinnati Chili?

Flappyhead: We'd need someone with a good, hard body. Biel?

The Black Widow is middle-aged - 58 at the outbreak of the 4th succession war.

Sigourney Weaver would be perfect for the part.

paulleah: I would have died to see a great BattleShip movie. A huge WWII epic or maybe even a WWIII epic where an EMP disabled all modern weapons and they had to "bring out the big guns" and with a lack of computers they had to use manual sighting and graph paper and those cool see-through charts and maybe even little models on a board that they had to move around with a stick.. And with our modern navy being totally geared towards computers they would have had to go find Earnest Borgnine and Clint Eastwood and people like that to teach these kids how to wage war, OLD SCHOOL.

Seriously, they could have made a very cool movie.

But they went with aliens because they dont want to "alienate" any of their world markets.

Aliens? Seriously?

Your version would be freakin' awesome. Please invite Fark to the premiere.

I like outdoor type movies so recommend they make "Jarts:The Movie".

Arachnophobe: paulleah: I would have died to see a great BattleShip movie. A huge WWII epic or maybe even a WWIII epic where an EMP disabled all modern weapons and they had to "bring out the big guns" and with a lack of computers they had to use manual sighting and graph paper and those cool see-through charts and maybe even little models on a board that they had to move around with a stick.. And with our modern navy being totally geared towards computers they would have had to go find Earnest Borgnine and Clint Eastwood and people like that to teach these kids how to wage war, OLD SCHOOL.

Seriously, they could have made a very cool movie.

But they went with aliens because they dont want to "alienate" any of their world markets.

Aliens? Seriously?

Your version would be freakin' awesome. Please invite Fark to the premiere.

...I would so watch this.

skazzytl: If the Battleship movie tied in more to the game maybe I'd watch it, but I don't remember the game having a bunch of aliens.

Seriously? What shiatty knock-off version did you play?

The only surprise is that anybody thought this contrived piece of shiat would make money. Was this The Producers, for real?

I would give up boning submitter's mom if they'd make the Dragonlance Chronicals into a movie trilogy with the same quality as LoTR.

But when is my bop-it movie coming?

It probably would have done better if someone had actually said the line "You sunk my battleship."


/I don't hate myself enough to go see the movie, but I hear that line is sadly absent.