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(KKTV Colorado Springs)   7th grader suspended for buying "Happy Crack." Clarification: "Happy Crack" has nothing to do with your plumber. Fark: "Happy Crack" is sugar and Kool Aid power. Happy Crack Happy Crack Happy Crack   (kktv.com) divider line 62
    More: Silly, Kony, graders, Ugandans  
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5739 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2012 at 9:05 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-21 08:33:02 AM  
www.motifake.com

No more Happy crack, kids?

Try Pixy Stix!
 
2012-05-21 08:44:06 AM  
My Kool Aid power is the only Kool Aid power available: the ability to burst through walls while screaming, "OH YEAH!"
 
2012-05-21 09:07:43 AM  
lol. My friend and I used to sell this when we were in middle school (early 90's). Made good money off of it too. Got in trouble for selling a drug look-a-like.

Why do schools hate capitalism?
 
2012-05-21 09:09:35 AM  
Alex's mother took him to the doctor for a urine test to make sure what was in his system wouldn't hurt him.

Wow. I have nothing else to say but... wow.
 
2012-05-21 09:10:05 AM  
Everyone in this story is a stupid asshole. I don't care about anything that happens to them, unless it's horrible, and then I want to see it.
 
2012-05-21 09:10:44 AM  
(Smash)
OH YEAH!
 
2012-05-21 09:11:13 AM  
I tried this exact thing except I made methcathinone from pseudofed and pool cleaner.

Methcathinone is a bit stronger though
 
2012-05-21 09:12:26 AM  
Happy Crack wasn't old, but he was a man.
 
2012-05-21 09:12:36 AM  

Coffee Snob: Everyone in this story is a stupid asshole. I don't care about anything that happens to them, unless it's horrible, and then I want to see it.


This is exactly what I think of all my coworkers.
 
2012-05-21 09:13:10 AM  
www.uprightcitizens.org
 
2012-05-21 09:13:24 AM  

Hyjamon: lol. My friend and I used to sell this when we were in middle school (early 90's). Made good money off of it too. Got in trouble for selling a drug look-a-like.

Why do schools hate capitalism?


its just sugar and kool aide? how did you guys make this stuff? ive never heard of it.
 
2012-05-21 09:20:20 AM  

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: Happy Crack wasn't old, but he was a man.


. . . I saw ya.
 
2012-05-21 09:22:13 AM  
So they were kicked out of school for essentially Pixy Stix's.

I feel safer already.
 
2012-05-21 09:23:26 AM  
If I needed extra money I rode my bike to school and stopped at the A & P to buy bulk candy to sell at school. If you got caught selling all they did was confiscate it and call you a dummy.
 
2012-05-21 09:24:04 AM  
Pixy Stix? A kid was suspended over Pixy Stix? Those were a common treat during my childhood.


I remember watching a guy snort one in High School. That was equally entertaining.
 
2012-05-21 09:24:27 AM  
Yet if this were Tennessee, they could sell Mike and Ike's and nobody could say a word about it. . . .
 
2012-05-21 09:26:05 AM  

Coffee Snob: Everyone in this story is a stupid asshole. I don't care about anything that happens to them, unless it's horrible, and then I want to see it.


This, yet I did read TFA to find out the suspension was for the 7th grader selling it. The other students buying it also got an in-school suspension.

/I have a pre mixed coolaid mix in my desk that rarely gets mixed with water.
//I'm always self concious about being caught scarfing* the stuff down.

*While I've always used scarf to mean 'Eat very quickly and greedily, I've never seen the vulgar definition. Good thing I looked it up to make sure it was a cromulent use. I'm not self concious of that.
 
2012-05-21 09:27:09 AM  
We used to make that shiat in middle school. Kids would be walking around with plastic baggies full of KoolAid and sugar. That is suspendable now?
 
2012-05-21 09:27:19 AM  
But they couldn't prevent Crack from being Happy.
 
2012-05-21 09:29:45 AM  

ElusiveWookiee: Pixy Stix? A kid was suspended over Pixy Stix? Those were a common treat during my childhood.


I remember watching a guy snort one in High School. That was equally entertaining.

Homemade

pixi stix.

/those are the most dangerous of all!
 
2012-05-21 09:31:20 AM  
Sounds like the suspension comes in because some idiots decided to start naming it after actual drugs.
 
2012-05-21 09:32:59 AM  
They should have stayed with the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs
 
2012-05-21 09:34:17 AM  
Guess the Who were wrong, the kids aren't alright after all...
 
2012-05-21 09:34:24 AM  
Once two kids ate some Happy Crack
lookin' for a big sugar thrill
Two kids ain't come down off Happy Crack
I reckon' they never will.

Happy Crack, you'll always be
Tooth-aching sweet
Good old Happy Crack
Happy Crack, dentist's treat
Happy Crack, dentist's treat
 
2012-05-21 09:34:45 AM  

carrion_luggage: But they couldn't prevent Crack from being Happy.


They dropped things on his back. They lied, and lied, and lied, and lied, and lied.
 
2012-05-21 09:36:25 AM  

LegoLewdite: Guess the Who were wrong, the kids aren't alright after all...


They had things planned, but their folks wouldn't let them.
 
2012-05-21 09:36:29 AM  
First you get de sugar, then you get de power, then you get suspended...
 
2012-05-21 09:46:27 AM  
When I was in Junior High one of the other kids sold candy and home-made fun dip. (Same shiat, but in sandwich bags instead of straws)
And he didn't even have a good cause in mind. He was just trying to make money to buy Nintendo games.

He got busted at least six times by teachers. Who all sternly told him to stop.
But he never got so much as detention.

So I'm pretty sure the kids are the same as they've ever been.
It's the adults who aren't alright.
 
2012-05-21 09:48:41 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-05-21 09:55:29 AM  
Falcon School District 49 tells me the reason the Tomes didn't get a written notice is because Alex's suspension was supposed to be served at school. The only one to receive a tougher, out of school suspension was the 7th grader who was selling the powder.

Suspension. What school officials love to do to compensate for their tiny dicks and brains.The only thing that makes it better for them is if the cops get called.

Better yet, the kid gets tazed and hit with a felony. That's a good day for your principals.

Suspensions. Those wonderful, magical things that make it "all better" for your average school official.
 
2012-05-21 09:58:16 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: Falcon School District 49 tells me the reason the Tomes didn't get a written notice is because Alex's suspension was supposed to be served at school. The only one to receive a tougher, out of school suspension was the 7th grader who was selling the powder.

Suspension. What school officials love to do to compensate for their tiny dicks and brains.The only thing that makes it better for them is if the cops get called.

Better yet, the kid gets tazed and hit with a felony. That's a good day for your principals.

Suspensions. Those wonderful, magical things that make it "all better" for your average school official.


ZERO TOLERANCE = ZERO INTELLIGENCE
 
2012-05-21 09:58:28 AM  
Wait... 'Happy Crack' is basically home-made pixie stix, yeah?
 
2012-05-21 10:00:06 AM  
Should have sold Happy Dust...

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-05-21 10:27:52 AM  
I feel bad for these kids. Back in 7th grade I had a little bubble gum selling business going. I'd buy a big pack of like 5-6 packs of gum for say a dollar or two. I'd then sell each individual one for $.50 or a dollar (depending on how dumb the kid was who I was selling to). I usually could get at least double what I bought the packs for. It got even better when the "tear jerker" craze hit my school. These cheap round gumballs that were all varieties of sour flavor became all the rage for a while. People would buy a single gumball for a quarter but I bought them by the pound at the grocery store for next to nothing. That was really awesome for a while but then the craze died off and they banned gum at our school. I think someone stuck their gum on a desk or something and someone got all draconian on us.
 
2012-05-21 10:29:17 AM  
Pixy Stix were alright, but I always prefered
www.candycarton.com

/because what better to go with your flavoured sugar powder that a sugar stick to dip in it?
 
2012-05-21 10:36:36 AM  

Hyjamon: lol. My friend and I used to sell this when we were in middle school (early 90's). Made good money off of it too. Got in trouble for selling a drug look-a-like.

Why do schools hate capitalism?


Oh, they don't. You got it all wrong. They don't hate capitalism. They hate Kool-Aid.
 
2012-05-21 10:37:46 AM  

StrangeQ: Pixy Stix were alright, but I always prefered
[www.candycarton.com image 340x340]

/because what better to go with your flavoured sugar powder that a sugar stick to dip in it?


And, it's harder to accidently inhale Fun Dip.

God bless you Willy Wonka for your flavored sugar.
 
2012-05-21 10:39:33 AM  
Sure you all laugh, but this kid was heading down a slippery slope.

First it's Happy Crack, but that is just the gateway. Before you know it, this kid would have been popping hard candy between classes. If someone hadn't stepped in, they may have found him passed out in a bathroom stall with half a box of Red Vines strewn about the floor. Not the small box either, I'm talking about the big Costco sized container.

Is that what you want?!?!

We should all feel better that an adult saw through this charade and stepped in.
 
2012-05-21 11:05:29 AM  
Quoting from the article: "The district says the students were punished because their behavior was disruptive." Disruptive. It was a STUDENT that worried there were actual drugs in it. In my years of teaching that level, I learned that the slightest bit of controversy can cause junior high students to assume a mob mentality and collectively freak out. I could see a bunch of kids going off about something called "Happy Crack." One group is whooping and yelling, trying to buy some, another group is grabbing and trying to steal the money/candy, and a third group is trying to snitch the sellers off, jumping and shouting, "CRACK!!! CRACK!!!" when an adult comes by. All the boys are punching and jumping on each other, because that's what junior high school boys do. I witnessed a similar scene when a group of girls were teasing boys with a candy pop in the shape of a life-sized dildo--daring them to lick it, and using it far too realistically themselves. The disruption was immense, and it drew a boisterous crowd. As I approached with my Teacher Face on, I didn't need to say a word for the girls to start spewing excuses. "It's just CANDY..." they whined. Teacher Face had the standard reply. "It's causing a disruption--put it away. This is your only warning. If I see it again, you will receive a punishment for willful disobedience." No, I wasn't one of the "fun" teachers, but I was fair and consistent, and I got respect.
 
2012-05-21 11:10:20 AM  
Meanwhile, the kid who is actually selling crack in tubes and is calling it Kool Aid is still doing a brisk business.
 
2012-05-21 11:13:23 AM  

Carn: I feel bad for these kids. Back in 7th grade I had a little bubble gum selling business going. I'd buy a big pack of like 5-6 packs of gum for say a dollar or two. I'd then sell each individual one for $.50 or a dollar (depending on how dumb the kid was who I was selling to). I usually could get at least double what I bought the packs for. It got even better when the "tear jerker" craze hit my school. These cheap round gumballs that were all varieties of sour flavor became all the rage for a while. People would buy a single gumball for a quarter but I bought them by the pound at the grocery store for next to nothing. That was really awesome for a while but then the craze died off and they banned gum at our school. I think someone stuck their gum on a desk or something and someone got all draconian on us.


I was in middle school in the late 70's when Bubble Yum hit the market. Soft bubble gum, you'd have thought it was cocaine the way everyone went for it. Prior to that it was the hard, leathery stuff you had to gnaw on before it softened up. We all hit the grocery and 7-Eleven to buy it by the box and sell it at school at criminally inflated rates. Like Tony Montana, however, I got into my own stash. Devoured it all. Gnom gnom gnom gnom....Haven't chewed gum since.
 
2012-05-21 11:18:59 AM  
I has a friend who did this in grade school in the late 80s. He used to cut the kool-aid with ground up chalk.
 
2012-05-21 11:24:09 AM  

Erockv: I has a friend who did this in grade school in the late 80s. He used to cut the kool-aid with ground up chalk.


Isn't Kool-Aid cheaper than chalk? Not to mention it's already powdered...
 
2012-05-21 11:43:08 AM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Carn: I feel bad for these kids. Back in 7th grade I had a little bubble gum selling business going. I'd buy a big pack of like 5-6 packs of gum for say a dollar or two. I'd then sell each individual one for $.50 or a dollar (depending on how dumb the kid was who I was selling to). I usually could get at least double what I bought the packs for. It got even better when the "tear jerker" craze hit my school. These cheap round gumballs that were all varieties of sour flavor became all the rage for a while. People would buy a single gumball for a quarter but I bought them by the pound at the grocery store for next to nothing. That was really awesome for a while but then the craze died off and they banned gum at our school. I think someone stuck their gum on a desk or something and someone got all draconian on us.

I was in middle school in the late 70's when Bubble Yum hit the market. Soft bubble gum, you'd have thought it was cocaine the way everyone went for it. Prior to that it was the hard, leathery stuff you had to gnaw on before it softened up. We all hit the grocery and 7-Eleven to buy it by the box and sell it at school at criminally inflated rates. Like Tony Montana, however, I got into my own stash. Devoured it all. Gnom gnom gnom gnom....Haven't chewed gum since.


I definitely peddled Bubble Yum. Regular and watermelon I remember being popular.

Big League Chew was awesome but only for about 30 seconds, and of course it was no good for selling.
 
2012-05-21 11:51:40 AM  
Wow, in seventh grade and still into happy crack?
 
2012-05-21 11:59:41 AM  

untaken_name: Erockv: I has a friend who did this in grade school in the late 80s. He used to cut the kool-aid with ground up chalk.

Isn't Kool-Aid cheaper than chalk? Not to mention it's already powdered...


Not if you steal chalk from the classroom
 
2012-05-21 12:10:30 PM  

Erockv: untaken_name: Erockv: I has a friend who did this in grade school in the late 80s. He used to cut the kool-aid with ground up chalk.

Isn't Kool-Aid cheaper than chalk? Not to mention it's already powdered...

Not if you steal chalk from the classroom


But why add the threat of punishment for larceny to the threat of punishment for illicit sales? And then he'd have to spend time stealing and powdering the chalk....that kid didn't think his business plan through very well.
 
2012-05-21 12:50:35 PM  

h0tsauce: Meanwhile, the kid who is actually selling crack in tubes and is calling it Kool Aid is still doing a brisk business.


well why should I care "what's in his system" when it's harmless sugar
 
2012-05-21 01:15:16 PM  

untaken_name: Erockv: untaken_name: Erockv: I has a friend who did this in grade school in the late 80s. He used to cut the kool-aid with ground up chalk.

Isn't Kool-Aid cheaper than chalk? Not to mention it's already powdered...

Not if you steal chalk from the classroom

But why add the threat of punishment for larceny to the threat of punishment for illicit sales? And then he'd have to spend time stealing and powdering the chalk....that kid didn't think his business plan through very well.


I didn't say he was particularly smart, but our school never cracked down on kool-aid sales, either.
 
2012-05-21 01:21:17 PM  

lewismarktwo: [www.uprightcitizens.org image 300x402]


The Titté Brothers do not approve.
 
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