Most wrong headline of the day ever.

/dendrophiliac

Shadow Blasko: Well, if you are a male... yeah.. thats out.

My first thought was: "If Zooey Deschanel tied herself naked to a tree, most likely she would be successful in obtaining sex*."

* Wanted or otherwise

Was he waiting for a man or woman? Why is it never the hot ones that do this?
Years ago we took our dogs to a park outside of Seattle that was known for anonymous sex in the bushes.

doglover: AbbeySomeone: Was he waiting for a man or woman? Why is it never the hot ones that do this?
Years ago we took our dogs to a park outside of Seattle that was known for anonymous sex in the bushes.

Why would you take dogs to....

We thought the city turned it into a dog park to discourage 'straight' men from random sex on the hiking trail. It worked.

SpaceyCat: Wait.... he tied HIMSELF to the tree? I thought he was supposed to let his partner do that....

He's doing it wrong in so many ways.

This article is full of WIN!

FTFA: A park visitor (ahem..., wink, wink) who spoke to CBS Minnesota was none too pleased to hear that the park is being used for public sex. "I really do not appreciate in-your-face-type behavior like that," the unidentified woman said.


She was SHOCKED, SHOCKED, to hear there was sex going on next to that tree!

Then further down.......

The Coon Rapids Herald reported that the park has seen its share of unseemly incidents, including when a man reading a book in his car was disturbed by a man reaching into his window.

You don't mean it, reaching into his window? Shoot his S!

Is it Thursday already?

Is his personal problem much better?



/Hot as the most fabulous object in the world.

bingethinker: This would work for a reasonably attractive woman. But then, she wouldn't need to do this.

FTFY

A) You said ways, Subby. My list, I wants it.


B) Ambivalence: I'm not convinced Craigslist hookups are successful. Aren't there just serial rapists and murderers on craigslist?

You'd think so... except I know from personal experience x2 that slightly overweight cougars can exist in the wretched hive of scum and villainy.

/ Bring 'em on!


C) Damnaged: Mentat: /puts away blindfold

Relatively Obscure: /crosses off of ideas list.

Thank you. I'm going to be laughing all night.

This.

miss diminutive: Vangor: miss diminutive: That's a phrase reserved for when people start going at in while in line at Wendy's.

/have seen that
//lost appetite

Sorry about that; the redheaded chick on the logo gets me going with her pigtails and freckles and innocent dress.

Completely understandable. I have a friend with an unhealthy obsession with the girl playing Wendy in their new commercial.

[img836.imageshack.us image 523x307]


Wait wait, she's actually supposed to be the Wendy's character?

Mascot-recognition--you don't has iit.

He'll be sorry when the Buggering Batman shows up.

/maybe not

miss diminutive: Vangor: miss diminutive: That's a phrase reserved for when people start going at in while in line at Wendy's.

/have seen that
//lost appetite

Sorry about that; the redheaded chick on the logo gets me going with her pigtails and freckles and innocent dress.

Completely understandable. I have a friend with an unhealthy obsession with the girl playing Wendy in their new commercial.

[img836.imageshack.us image 523x307]

He's got serious ginger fever.

In his defense, she is smoking hot.

Waiting on his branch of love.

/hey, went out on a limb for this........

Dude, the phrase is "hung like a tree", not "tied to a tree".

miss diminutive: I have a friend with an unhealthy obsession with the girl playing Wendy in their new commercial.

Define unhealthy.

"I really do not appreciate in-your-face-type behavior like that," the unidentified woman said.

How did he get it in her face? Did she go in for a closer look?

miss diminutive: I have a friend with an unhealthy obsession with the girl playing Wendy in their new commercial.

Well, if the Wendy's girl got naked and blindfolded and tied herself to a tree...

Ambivalence: I'm not convinced Craigslist hookups are successful. Aren't there just serial rapists and murderers on craigslist?

Girl I am dating now is 23, shot and stumbled across her ad on Craigslist. She was just tired of all the same guys she always ran in to in her work/social circle, and her friends didn't want to branch out.

miss diminutive: Prof. Frink: miss diminutive: Vangor: miss diminutive: That's a phrase reserved for when people start going at in while in line at Wendy's.

/have seen that
//lost appetite

Sorry about that; the redheaded chick on the logo gets me going with her pigtails and freckles and innocent dress.

Completely understandable. I have a friend with an unhealthy obsession with the girl playing Wendy in their new commercial.

[img836.imageshack.us image 523x307]

Wait wait, she's actually supposed to be the Wendy's character?

Mascot-recognition--you don't has iit.

He told me she was Wendy. When I asked about the lack of freckles and pigtails he said that those additions would make her look too young....which I suppose would make him feel his obsession is creepier than it already is.

Anyone who's seen the real Wendy would get over that fetish. Dave's daughter is not an attractive woman.

/she also looks nothing like the logo

If you want to see the weirdest, creepiest thing you have seen in a while check out slide #47 of the dumbest criminals slide-show. Seriously, it looks like a full grown infant with tattoos.

"I really do not appreciate in-your-face-type behavior like that," the unidentified woman said.

Well lady, he was tied to a tree. If it is in your face, I would say that's your own fault.

miss diminutive: Vangor: miss diminutive: That's a phrase reserved for when people start going at in while in line at Wendy's.

/have seen that
//lost appetite

Sorry about that; the redheaded chick on the logo gets me going with her pigtails and freckles and innocent dress.

Completely understandable. I have a friend with an unhealthy obsession with the girl playing Wendy in their new commercial.

[img836.imageshack.us image 523x307]

He's got serious ginger fever.

That would be Morgan Smith Goodwin. She's not a natural redhead according to her resume.

SharkTrager: Ambivalence: I'm not convinced Craigslist hookups are successful. Aren't there just serial rapists and murderers on craigslist?

Girl I am dating now is 23, shot and stumbled across her ad on Craigslist. She was just tired of all the same guys she always ran in to in her work/social circle, and her friends didn't want to branch out.

I sometimes read the personals for entertainment. The "w4m" ads are usually the same:
"I am an obese, single mother of 4 kids with no job looking for a man with no kids of his own willing to be a father to my kids and spend all his money on me. You better be ok with me because I am fat or you are shallow! Tall, dark, handsome, fit and rich men only."

I would still say that she's hot... but I wouldn't want to tap that.
We have the same last name. Probably distant cousins or something.

miss diminutive: vudukungfu: miss diminutive: I have a friend with an unhealthy obsession with the girl playing Wendy in their new commercial.

Define unhealthy.

You can only reach climax while eating chili and having the commercial playing in the background?

loled

machoprogrammer: SharkTrager: Ambivalence: I'm not convinced Craigslist hookups are successful. Aren't there just serial rapists and murderers on craigslist?

Girl I am dating now is 23, shot and stumbled across her ad on Craigslist. She was just tired of all the same guys she always ran in to in her work/social circle, and her friends didn't want to branch out.

I sometimes read the personals for entertainment. The "w4m" ads are usually the same:
"I am an obese, single mother of 4 kids with no job looking for a man with no kids of his own willing to be a father to my kids and spend all his money on me. You better be ok with me because I am fat or you are shallow! Tall, dark, handsome, fit and rich men only."

There is a reason you get the "let's trade pics" thing out of the way VERY quickly.

SharkTrager: There is a reason you get the "let's trade pics" thing out of the way VERY quickly.

Makes sense. I always get a kick out of the fact that they are hambeasts, yet only go for tall, handsome, rich men. Yet if you aren't into manatees, you are the shallow one. If you want a good laugh, read the missed connection ones especially.

miss diminutive:
You can only reach climax while eating chili and having the commercial playing in the background?

Uh-oh.

Ambivalence: I'm not convinced Craigslist hookups are successful. Aren't there just serial rapists and murderers on craigslist?

Rule 1: Be larger than the other person
Rule 2: See rule 1
Rule 3: Hide the webcams before they arrive, behind speaker mesh
Rule 4: Do not publish the video nobody wants to see that

Ways to successfully obtain sex: dating sites, bars, prostitutes, Craigslist hookups. Ways to unsuccessfully obtain sex and simultaneously make the front page of Fark: get naked and blindfolded, and tie yourself to a tree

Never worked for my brother either, though we had a lot of fun laughing at him

Speak for yourself subby.