Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Fark)   I can always get ketchup to come right out of the bottle. What pointless superpower(s) do you have?   (fark.com) divider line 434
    More: Survey  
•       •       •

1838 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 May 2012 at 5:16 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



434 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-05-20 11:09:37 PM  
I sneeze awesome.
 
2012-05-20 11:10:06 PM  
finding a great parking spot
 
2012-05-20 11:10:20 PM  
I can type 100 wpm
 
2012-05-20 11:10:24 PM  
I always win at whack-a-mole
 
2012-05-20 11:10:49 PM  
and those are just the ones i'm telling you about

i dont believe thats pointless- i dont believe any superpower is pointless
 
2012-05-20 11:11:44 PM  
I yawn with a little Chewbacca rumble at the end.
 
2012-05-20 11:12:40 PM  
I can eat just one chip and I can have one square of a chocolate bar and put it away for another day.

/sadly, still not skinny, so superpower is super pointless
 
2012-05-20 11:13:24 PM  
I can tell you exactly what celebrity you are trying to think of that the person you see looks like.
 
2012-05-20 11:14:08 PM  
I'm really good at remembering names, as long as I have both the first and last names. I have trouble if I only have one or the other. In my line of work, it's not pointless though.
 
2012-05-20 11:14:36 PM  
If something gets knocked off a shelf, dropping the soap in the shower, knock over something on the table I almost always catch it. I have good reactions and reflexes.

I have incredible parking spot karma.

Dogs and kids always love me, for some reason.


....pointless because there's no way to make any money off of it.
 
2012-05-20 11:16:28 PM  

Smell the Glove: If something gets knocked off a shelf, dropping the soap in the shower, knock over something on the table I almost always catch it. I have good reactions and reflexes.


I'm like that too! Sadly, I've caught a knife and once a white-hot curling iron on the business end.
 
2012-05-20 11:16:58 PM  
I have the uncanny ability to get drunk off of one beer.
 
2012-05-20 11:17:07 PM  

LlamaGirl: I sneeze awesome.


I always sneeze in groups of five to seven sneezes. Always.
 
2012-05-20 11:18:17 PM  
I get hiccups before it rains.
 
2012-05-20 11:19:17 PM  
I have McGuyverism. I can fix things. Just this weekend I fixed the throttle on my lawn mower with bailing twine.
 
2012-05-20 11:19:30 PM  
I can do awesome e-brake 180s on gravel roads.
 
2012-05-20 11:21:47 PM  
Now I'm really glad I didn't go with what I was originally going to say. :D
 
2012-05-20 11:22:08 PM  
I can cross half my eyes independantly of the other half.
 
2012-05-20 11:23:21 PM  

Ambivalence: I can cross half my eyes independently of the other half.


Hah, so can I. Freaks people out.

I also have the ability to be a raving grammar nazi...which is odd, since the best I could get in English was a "B".
 
2012-05-20 11:23:27 PM  
I can fart, then suck it back in, then fart again... ad infinitem.

I wish I were joking.
 
MBK [TotalFark]
2012-05-20 11:23:57 PM  
I can pick up a lot of things with my toes.
 
2012-05-20 11:24:11 PM  
my shoulders are very flexible. To the point where I'm almost double jointed. My legs, not so much.
 
2012-05-20 11:24:15 PM  
I can open up the doors at grocery and department stores with my mind.

With. My. MIND.
 
2012-05-20 11:24:43 PM  
The ability to turn love into loathe.
 
2012-05-20 11:25:00 PM  

rocketpants: I can fart, then suck it back in, then fart again... ad infinitem.

I wish I were joking.


You breathe out of your asshole? .... Explains your bad breath, I guess...
 
2012-05-20 11:25:20 PM  

xanadian: Ambivalence: I can cross half my eyes independently of the other half.

Hah, so can I. Freaks people out.

I also have the ability to be a raving grammar nazi...which is odd, since the best I could get in English was a "B".


Me too. I didn't learn how to spell until after graduating from school.
 
2012-05-20 11:25:23 PM  
Not only can I get ketchup to come out, I can instantly lose track of what's going on around me. I often have conversations like this with the SO:

SO: "You left a wet towel on the carpet again!"

Me: "Sorry."

SO: "The hamper's 3 feet away! The carpet's going to mildew, and..."

Me: "What's the name of that fat guy* the Hardy Boys were always hanging out with? He lived on a farm, and HEY! Put the knife down!"

* Chet Morton
** submitter
 
2012-05-20 11:25:28 PM  
I can also pop practically every joint in my body at will ...
 
2012-05-20 11:26:32 PM  

rocketpants: I can fart, then suck it back in, then fart again... ad infinitem.

I wish I were joking.


It's like the second coming of Le Pétomane
 
2012-05-20 11:26:44 PM  
I can drink lots of whiskey
 
2012-05-20 11:27:51 PM  
When I drink tequila I travel in time
 
2012-05-20 11:28:43 PM  

we'refromthesamestory: I can drink lots of whiskey


I have this power, too. We must promise to use it only for good. Well, except for when we want to be bad.

Screw it, let's use it however we like ...
 
2012-05-20 11:29:46 PM  

rocketpants: I can fart, then suck it back in, then fart again... ad infinitem.

I wish I were joking.


aaaaaaaand we're GREEN.
 
2012-05-20 11:29:52 PM  
I can have intelligent conversations with dogs.

Me: "Hey Pippy, what are you doing?"
Pippy: "sniff sniff sniff sniff sniffing stuff"
 
2012-05-20 11:31:04 PM  

HawgWild: we'refromthesamestory: I can drink lots of whiskey

I have this power, too. We must promise to use it only for good. Well, except for when we want to be bad.

Screw it, let's use it however we like ...


You know, I don't know what we just agreed on here, but I'll drink to that!!
 
2012-05-20 11:31:09 PM  
I have metal in 3 limbs. I'm like, 2% bulletproof.
 
2012-05-20 11:32:13 PM  

we'refromthesamestory: HawgWild: we'refromthesamestory: I can drink lots of whiskey

I have this power, too. We must promise to use it only for good. Well, except for when we want to be bad.

Screw it, let's use it however we like ...

You know, I don't know what we just agreed on here, but I'll drink to that!!


Here, here!
 
2012-05-20 11:32:20 PM  
When I play a CD in my car I am eerily accurate when guessing how far into a track it is, usually within 3 seconds. I am also good at knowing when the microwave will ding. I have a very accurate internal chronometer I guess.
 
2012-05-20 11:32:50 PM  
I tend to attract the crazies on the street. The wierdos seem to ask me for whatever - directions, money, religious sign-ups, drugs, etc..

Actually almost got farted on by some hobo at a city square today. I was about 20 feet from her, she laid on the 1/2 wall I was sitting on and farted in my general direction. I was fortunately up-wind.

Also I alway seem to win strategy board games.
 
2012-05-20 11:33:19 PM  

eeeleeet: LlamaGirl: I sneeze awesome.

I always sneeze in groups of five to seven sneezes. Always.


That's usually me as well. Rarely sneeze less than 4 times in a row.

I've ended up in the oncoming traffic lane from sneezing so many times. That was scary. Luckily no one was coming.

The most I've counted is 9 in a row.
 
2012-05-20 11:33:39 PM  
I can USE me some Googles. I've had people come to me and say "I've been searching for this information for hours -- do you have any idea how to look more efficiently?", and within 5 minutes I've got printouts and everything. I'm usually right on-target, too.
 
2012-05-20 11:33:45 PM  
Getting strangers to randomly strike up conversation with me.
 
2012-05-20 11:34:48 PM  

ami5000: Getting strangers to randomly strike up conversation with me.


YES!! same here!!
 
2012-05-20 11:35:46 PM  

xanadian: Ambivalence: I can cross half my eyes independently of the other half.

Hah, so can I. Freaks people out.

I also have the ability to be a raving grammar nazi...which is odd, since the best I could get in English was a "B".


One can be a nazi about grammar without being correct.
 
2012-05-20 11:35:47 PM  

ami5000: Getting strangers to randomly strike up conversation with me.


What brings you here tonight? Nice weather we got here huh?
 
2012-05-20 11:36:35 PM  
Oh, and as I put stuff on the grocery checkout belt, I can estimate the total including tax, to within a quarter or so. Even if I didn't specifically see what something cost when I put it in the cart.
 
2012-05-20 11:36:54 PM  

AllyOop: ami5000: Getting strangers to randomly strike up conversation with me.

YES!! same here!!


I thought it was part of being female...
 
2012-05-20 11:37:31 PM  
The complete and total inability to tell if someone is interested. It's not really a great superpower.
 
2012-05-20 11:38:03 PM  
I can kill any houseplant in a matter of hours
 
2012-05-20 11:38:27 PM  

we'refromthesamestory: AllyOop: ami5000: Getting strangers to randomly strike up conversation with me.

YES!! same here!!

I thought it was part of being female...


Yeah a good pair of meatbags always spurs conversation
 
Displayed 50 of 434 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report