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(The New York Times)   In what can only be a sign of lessening tensions, it looks like Tehran might be getting an IKEA   (nytimes.com) divider line 47
    More: Cool, Tehran, International Atomic Energy Agency, Ikea, Yukiya Amano, Islamic Republic News Agency, Ali Akbar Salehi, Atomic Energy Organization, members of the United Nations  
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3080 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2012 at 8:21 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



47 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2012-05-18 05:05:55 PM
Don't you deprive the good people of Cleveland Tehran an IKEA! You are vindictive, Liz Lemon America Sweden!
 
2012-05-18 05:35:46 PM
The plan is now to drive them insane trying to read translated instructions and finding the correct size and number of screws

/and a metric hex wrench
 
2012-05-18 05:57:07 PM
IIRC, the part of the U.S. sanctions were to deprive Iran of Allen wrenches, so they're farked.
 
2012-05-18 06:00:29 PM
IKEA: the anti-recycling store.
 
2012-05-18 07:00:21 PM
Damn, NY Times changed the headline. Original was "IAEA Chairman to visit Tehran"
 
2012-05-18 08:26:41 PM
"Thanks for the hostages!!" - Ahmhabahdbahdmahn
 
2012-05-18 08:28:20 PM
This will only get out of control.
It will surely get worse.
God help us all.
 
2012-05-18 08:29:40 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: The plan is now to drive them insane trying to read translated instructions and finding the correct size and number of screws

/and a metric hex wrench


I can't wait to see a posting of Farsi (?) Ikea instructions translated from English that were first translated from Chinese. 6 months of TF for a real, non-birther-shopped scan of that.

/And a flathead screwdriver for when you lost the goddam bolt but have a real 'Murican one that'll fit.
 
2012-05-18 08:30:52 PM
THE SWEDISH MEATBALLS ARE AN OUTRAGE!!!!
 
2012-05-18 08:31:10 PM
I once bought a rug at IKEA. Then I had to buy the optional loom to assemble it.
 
2012-05-18 08:32:49 PM
How is it an unexpected visit if it's announced in advance?

/DNRTFA
 
2012-05-18 08:41:53 PM
I like Ikea.

/there. I said it.
 
2012-05-18 08:46:07 PM
A warning to Tehran:

Do not mock the Swedes.

The Swedes will not be trifled with.

/Wanda Dollard
 
2012-05-18 08:47:12 PM
They better be careful with those IKEA nuclear centrifuges.

/Enjoy your affordable Swedish crap.
 
2012-05-18 08:47:18 PM
This is a brilliant scheme. What we do is we have the Iranians go into the IKEA and then they're basically trapped. Israel is bombing their refineries and they're stuck on the meandering path from Bedding to Lamps. It's going to take them at least an hour to get through the warehouse and out to their cars. And that's IF security doesn't ticket them for parking in the loading zone without a receipt.

Nobody suspects the Neutral Swedes!
 
2012-05-18 08:53:18 PM
Dammit! I submitted one like this awhile back... Something about discussing missing little wooden dowels... Meh, whatever, it probably wasn't as funny as I thought it was.
 
2012-05-18 08:56:51 PM
Ok, I admit I actually bit on the headline. But IKEA actually does have stores in Kuwait, UAE and Saudi Arabia. Why shouldn't the Persians get in on the fun?

/The IKEA logo on the Saudi website looks like it was stolen from the Atari 2600 game 'Adventure'
 
2012-05-18 08:56:55 PM

fanbladesaresharp: MaudlinMutantMollusk: The plan is now to drive them insane trying to read translated instructions and finding the correct size and number of screws

/and a metric hex wrench

I can't wait to see a posting of Farsi (?) Ikea instructions translated from English that were first translated from Chinese. 6 months of TF for a real, non-birther-shopped scan of that.

/And a flathead screwdriver for when you lost the goddam bolt but have a real 'Murican one that'll fit.


Not sure if serious, but the instructions have no words. Wouldn't make a difference at all.
 
2012-05-18 08:57:44 PM
img401.imageshack.us
return this thing & bring me back some of those rancid meatballs.
 
2012-05-18 09:00:39 PM
Put hostage A in slot B...
 
2012-05-18 09:01:07 PM

ShirleySerious: Not sure if serious, but the instructions have no words. Wouldn't make a difference at all.


Surely they are serious, ShirleySerious. (it had to be done)

Most of the instructions don't use words but there is that little cartoon person at the beginning of instructions that looks naked.

/The whole LTR vs RTL thing would make the instructions out of proper sequence
 
2012-05-18 09:04:35 PM
Norwegian love works.

;)
 
2012-05-18 09:05:04 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: The plan is now to drive them insane trying to read translated instructions and finding the correct size and number of screws

/and a metric hex wrench


Who's this guy Phillips and why would I want to borrow his screwdriver?
 
2012-05-18 09:13:13 PM
I actually bit on the headline, too, and came here hoping to make a snark about Tehran getting an Ikea before Somerville, Mass.

/by the time that Ikea gets built, you'll be able to take the Green Line there from West Medford
 
2012-05-18 09:13:27 PM
www.independent.co.uk

THE HEMNES END TABLE CLASHES WITH THE DRAPES!
 
2012-05-18 09:16:35 PM
IKEA ad:
"Nuquelarr Centifujess now 1,000,000 rials. last years price 1,250,000 rials."
 
2012-05-18 09:18:28 PM
ongein.wabbit-wion.nl
 
2012-05-18 09:19:24 PM
ikeaarmoire.com

Armoire is not the answer.

/even the picture looks ready to fall apart
 
2012-05-18 09:23:39 PM
Dear Iranian citizens,

That lamp will last about as long as most lamps. And I know it looks like that furniture will survive an Israeli attack after you put it together (I'm trying not to laugh as I type here) but....

The most important ingredient in any IKEA furniture is...GLUE. LOTS and LOTS of it.
 
2012-05-18 09:28:27 PM
Good, serves 'em right.

By the way, did you know that Ikea is owned by a "registered charity" in the Netherlands? This is pretty much a tax dodge. The "charitable works" done by the charity thus far are minimal, but the family that owns Ikea is avoiding a mountain of Swedish taxes.

So opening Ikea stores in Iran could be regarded as the Revenge of the Dutch as well as the Revenge of the Swede. They're leave out an extra piece for every customer in Tehran.
 
2012-05-18 09:40:24 PM

ShirleySerious: fanbladesaresharp: MaudlinMutantMollusk: The plan is now to drive them insane trying to read translated instructions and finding the correct size and number of screws

/and a metric hex wrench

I can't wait to see a posting of Farsi (?) Ikea instructions translated from English that were first translated from Chinese. 6 months of TF for a real, non-birther-shopped scan of that.

/And a flathead screwdriver for when you lost the goddam bolt but have a real 'Murican one that'll fit.

Not sure if serious, but the instructions have no words. Wouldn't make a difference at all.


Slightly serious. Curious though having built a few Ikea things, how bad the translations of anything get.
 
2012-05-18 09:42:54 PM
This bodes ill for all Iranian romantic relationships.
 
2012-05-18 09:44:29 PM
Seriously FUKT up.
 
2012-05-18 09:45:07 PM

bdub77: Dear Iranian citizens,

That lamp will last about as long as most lamps. And I know it looks like that furniture will survive an Israeli attack after you put it together (I'm trying not to laugh as I type here) but....

The most important ingredient in any IKEA furniture is...GLUE. LOTS and LOTS of it.


The glue doesn't do shiat unless you soak the whole thing in it. I had an entertainment center in a room that somewhat survived the 6.8 earthquake in Seattle a while back. Glass didn't break but screws and bolts pulled out all over it. Hell my aquarium did a better job and didn't break or launch fish out of it.
 
2012-05-18 09:52:33 PM

fanbladesaresharp: bdub77: Dear Iranian citizens,

That lamp will last about as long as most lamps. And I know it looks like that furniture will survive an Israeli attack after you put it together (I'm trying not to laugh as I type here) but....

The most important ingredient in any IKEA furniture is...GLUE. LOTS and LOTS of it.

The glue doesn't do shiat unless you soak the whole thing in it. I had an entertainment center in a room that somewhat survived the 6.8 earthquake in Seattle a while back. Glass didn't break but screws and bolts pulled out all over it. Hell my aquarium did a better job and didn't break or launch fish out of it.


I definitely soaked all the joints in strong gorilla glue, even the metal stuff. My stuff has held up very well actually. I don't live in earthquake territory though.
 
2012-05-18 10:01:54 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: The plan is now to drive them insane trying to read translated instructions and finding the correct size and number of screws

/and a metric hex wrench


It would work, for obvious reasons.
 
2012-05-18 10:04:10 PM

TomD9938: Armoire is not the answer.


Those bastards never are. I lived in Ireland and the UK for a few years and I never understood the appeal of them compared to a proper closet. Makes sense if you're a lazy-ass builder, I suppose, or want maximum flexibility for how you arrange a room, but it's still not the day-to-day lack of depth and space.
 
2012-05-18 10:16:21 PM

Fear the Clam: I never understood the appeal of them compared to a proper closet.


Washing machine. Clothes line over said washing machine.
Do laundry. Spin dry. Hang on hangers over washing machine to dry.
Hamper = washing machine.
Armoire = Clothes line.
Washing machine beats earthquake.
Closet = boxes of 33 1/3 RPM music. Top shelf is 45s.
 
2012-05-18 10:17:41 PM

Gyrfalcon: MaudlinMutantMollusk: The plan is now to drive them insane trying to read translated instructions and finding the correct size and number of screws

/and a metric hex wrench

It would work, for obvious reasons.


So, did you pass the bar or not?

;)
 
2012-05-18 10:23:09 PM

vudukungfu: Washing machine beats earthquake.


Was with you up till then.
 
2012-05-18 10:55:46 PM

Indubitably: Gyrfalcon: MaudlinMutantMollusk: The plan is now to drive them insane trying to read translated instructions and finding the correct size and number of screws

/and a metric hex wrench

It would work, for obvious reasons.

So, did you pass the bar or not?

;)


Figured with love...
 
2012-05-18 11:43:52 PM

bdub77: [ongein.wabbit-wion.nl image 572x722]


I regret that I have but one 'funny' vote to give to that

/so now how do I get hard cider out of the keyboard of a laptop?
//I'm thinking dishwasher
 
2012-05-19 12:27:49 AM
bedzine.com
www.simpleassemblymehole.com
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-05-19 01:02:40 AM
IKEA: A giant maze with crappy furniture inside.
 
2012-05-19 02:01:49 AM
a little art deco never hurt anyone.... imagine peace talks.... "come on in, make a chair and have a seat"
 
2012-05-19 02:56:26 AM

WhippingBoy: I like Ikea.

/there. I said it.


Following hurricane Katrina, I furnished an entire apartment for like $1500. I was very impressed with the overall style of their goods. But the quality is definitely commensurate with the price. Still, within a week of having my life turned upside down I was able to find everything I needed in one place, complete with picture frames and what not, for a dirt cheap imitation of "home."

Once it was clear that I a) was allowed to return permanently and, b) that I can't function correctly in any other city, I just Craigslisted or gave away the stuff. But now I wish we had an IKEA, because some of the stuff was really cool if really cheaply made (especially the lighting).

CSB: Some b*tch who got in line behind me complained about the size of my purchase, to which I said, "I'M SORRY, YOU WORTHLESS TWAT, ALL MY SH*T IS UNDER WATER." It takes a lot for me to go off on a stranger, but those were strange days indeed. She shut immediately and tried to give me a hug and a $100 bill, which I refused. Nice of her, though. This was in Philadelphia.
 
2012-05-19 03:26:10 AM
farm8.staticflickr.com
 
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