Inflatable chapels have been set up on Italian beaches. Local humorists say an inflatable chapel is the first step to an inflatable priest.

Because they look like bouncy houses, and priests like blowjobs from children, amirite?

/boy are my arms tired

WTFITS?

timujin: Sectarians came, spoke something about good deeds. I offered them to take my garbage outside - they got offended and left...

Yeah, I liked that one (grammar-corrected and transliterated to "mormons/JWs")

Walking chair?

DecemberNitro: Walking chair?

Walking chair.

I kinda like this one, even if it's not all that funny.

A priest says at the end of the service:

"Next Sunday I will talk to you about lies. To understand what we will be talking about, please read the 17th chapter from the Gospel according to Mark at home."

A week after the priest asks:

"Please, those who have read the 17th chapter, please, raise your hands."

Almost all the believers raised their hands.

"I want to talk about lies exactly with you," the priest further says. "There' s no 17th chapter in the Gospel according to Mark."

After those Kazakh jokes, who is ready for a nice game of pazaak?

This is a pretty good lawyer joke:

"A young advocate dies in a dream and sees the gates of paradise.

"What has happened? Where am I?!"

A saint turning pages in the book says:

"You see, my dear, you have died..."

"That's impossible!" the advocate interrupts him. "I'm so young and I've just been to a doctor, everything was just fine."

"And we counted all the hours you said you worked and charged your clients and it turned out that you're already 88..."

Endive Wombat: Borat is a farking hilarious movie. How SBC was able to keep a straight face the entire time and not break character astounds me.

Meow Said The Dog please report immediately to this thread.

Three Fridays, the 13th and one Doomsday is expected in 2012, it's partly cloudy.

Even Harold Camping cracked a smile.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art museum, admiring a picture of Adam and Eve.

The Englishman turns to them. "It fills me with pride. Just look at them; so poised, so serene, so dignified. Clearly they must be British."

The Frenchman laughs. "What are you talking about, man! They are naked, they are beautiful, they are so carefree! Clearly they must be French!"

The Russian shakes his head. "Just listen to you two. Look at them! They have no clothing, no shelter, only an apple to eat between them, and they are being told this is Paradise. Clearly they are Russian."

These are funnier if you imagine Stephen Wright telling them.

However, this one I find amusing...

Two angels are speaking at the entrance to paradise:

"Look! A new party of sinners is coming! We won't let them in, their place is in hell!"

"Why to be so intolerant? They are not sinners, they're alternatively righteous. And their place is not in hell, but in paradise with alternative climate."

My sister give best sex in mouth in all of Kazakhstan. She is a prostitute.

Harry Freakstorm: A golden statuette of Ketsalmigonkugankoatlktenotchetlan - a god of diction and memory - was found during excavation works in American Indian village Tau-Khau

I'm gonna open with that at my war crimes trial at the Hague. I can hear the verdict now. Not Gill-cup.

How many liters is a gill?

Treygreen13: There's always room for Latvian jokes!

Is dead dog in road. Is dead Latvian in road. What difference?
Dog have fur keep warm. Also, freedom. And dog try eat poop for pleasure not just survive. So many thing!

I looked for these years ago on Google and forgot what country it was so I couldn't find them. I want to thank you from the bottom of my souless black heart for being a shining beacon in the desolation that is my life.

Cold. Also, dark.

NutznGum: DecemberNitro: Walking chair?

Walking chair.

Ok, is there some sort of inside joke going on here? Because I really don't understand why that's funny...

billyidolrules: NutznGum: DecemberNitro: Walking chair?

Walking chair.

Ok, is there some sort of inside joke going on here? Because I really don't understand why that's funny...

A young advocate dies in a dream and sees the gates of paradise.

"What has happened? Where am I?!"

A saint turning pages in the book says:

"You see, my dear, you have died..."

"That's impossible!" the advocate interrupts him. "I'm so young and I've just been to a doctor, everything was just fine."

"And we counted all the hours you said you worked and charged your clients and it turned out that you're already 88..."

lol

NutznGum: billyidolrules: NutznGum: DecemberNitro: Walking chair?

Walking chair.

Ok, is there some sort of inside joke going on here? Because I really don't understand why that's funny...

[img338.imageshack.us image 452x339]



Metahumor. Hilarious, because it's not funny at all. Like Peter Griffin's skinned-knee Overly Long Gag.

- Mr. President, why gay parades are often held in democratic capital cities while banned in Moscow?

- You see, parades are normally held by the victorious...

Now, this is funny.

At first I was :?
Then I :!

/ :

OK -- this one I'd like to see illustrated:

Two girls in bikini after sunbathing decided to visit the church of a male monastery. First they doubted if they could go there dressed like this, but finally took the risk. In the monastery, they at once heard remarks regarding their appearance and one of the girls said:

"I've told we should cover our heads!"

After getting used to the broken English and awkward diction, a few of these wouldn't be too bad with some rephrasing:

A small town. A man comes to a church to confess.
"Holy Father, I've committed a sin. Yesterday evening I was drunk. It was the devil's work, I betrayed my devoted and loving wife with a prostitute who was standing near the gasoline at drive to the town."
"Don't blame yourself, my son, you didn't betray her..."
"???"
"The prostitute standing near the gasoline at drive to the town is your wife."

Dog: "He feeds me, he cares about me, he gives me a place to live - perhaps, he is God!"
Cat: "He feeds me, he cares about me, he gives me a place to live - perhaps, I am God!"

Two "Shahid" bombers go to fulfill a task.
One asks the other: "Feel nervous?"
The second replies: "Sure! Anyhow, it's my first time!"

- Do you agree that a suicide is the eternal solution of a temporary problem?
- No, I don't... I'm a Buddhist and I believe a suicide is a temporary solution of the eternal problem.

A referee dies and goes to the paradise's gate to meet over there St. Peter before entering.
- What did you do while alive?
- I was a referee!
- Well, I know lads of your pool, you're all venal!
- No, I was an honest one! In the final game Russia-France in Moscow I ordered an eleven-meter penalty kick to the Russian goal when the score was 2:2 and there was two minutes before the end of the game.
- Hmmm... Sounds unrealistic. When did that happen?
- Five minutes ago!

During a visit to some city, the pope climbed into a limo and the driver asked if he needed anything. 'Well, son, what I'd really like is to be able to drive myself for a change,' His Holiness said.
Intimidated by the pope's status, the driver said OK, but warned, 'Please watch your speed through here, sir, this is a notorious speed trap.'
Unfortunately, lights were already flashing, so the pope pulled over. When the trooper got to the car, he recognized the pope in the driver's seat and said, 'Uh, just a minute, sir. I'll be right back.'
The trooper went back to his car and radioed his supervisor, 'Uh, I pulled somebody over for speeding who is pretty important.'
'You didn't pull over the mayor, did you?' the supervisor asked.
'No sir, he's bigger than the mayor.'
'It wasn't the governor, was it?' his boss asked.
'No sir, he's bigger than the governor.'
'Don't tell me you pulled over the president,' the supervisor said.
'Sir, he's bigger than the president.'
'C'mon son, who did you pull over?' he asked.
'It looks that Jesus himself!'
'What!?'
'I'm not exactly sure, but the pope is his driver!'

A Roman Catholic priest came to a barber's. He got his haircut and asked the barber, how much he owed. 'Nothing, Father, I never charge the Catholic priests,' the barber replied. The priest was nicely surprised, and the next day the barber found twelve bottles of the finest Benedictine wine at his door.
Another day an Orthodox priest came to the same barber's. He was served and asked the barber if he owed something for the job. 'Absolutely nothing, Father, I never charge the Orthodox clergy,' the barber said. The Orthodox priest was nicely surprised as well, and the next day the barber found twelve bottles of vodka at his door.
Some days later a rabbi came to the same barber. After he had his hair cut, he asked for a bill too. 'You owe me nothing, rabbi. I never charge rabbis,' the answer was. The rabbi was very much surprised too, and the next day the barber found... twelve rabbis at his door.

One warm summer day I was walking across a bridge one day, and I came across a man standing on the rail, about to jump. I said 'Stop! don't do it!'
'Why not?' he said.
I said, 'Well, there's so much to live for!'
He said, 'Like what?'
I said, 'Well... are you religious or atheist?'
He said, 'I am quite religious.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you a Christian?'
He said, 'I am.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?'
He said, 'Protestant.'
I said, 'Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?'
He said, 'Baptist!'
I said, 'What a happy coincidence. So am I. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?'
He said, 'Baptist Church of God!'
I said, 'Amen! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?'
He said, 'Reformed Baptist Church of God!'
I said, 'Amen and Amen! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?'
He said, 'Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!'
I said, 'Die, Godless heretic!' and pushed him off the rail.

/OK, way too long
//Wasn't sure anyone else made it to page 14