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(USA Today)   You might want to sit down for this, but it looks like "Battleship" just isn't really that good of a movie   (usatoday.com) divider line 115
    More: Sad, Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, disaster movies, peter berg, extravaganzas, Brooklyn Decker, running time, Liam Neeson  
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3526 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 May 2012 at 8:13 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-18 08:20:55 AM
I was about to say that it would make a good Rifftrax, but Mike and the guys are always at their weakest, I believe, when they are trying to riff on endless scenes on non-stop CGI action.
 
2012-05-18 08:20:59 AM
Really? I didn't have a clue. I was hoping this would not monopolize too much of our time. Then again, sometimes, you just have to risk it. I am really sorry but I think we are all in trouble. I guess that is just life.
 
2012-05-18 08:22:18 AM
It's something we've all seen b4, and we'll c1 again soon. H8 all you want, but these films are here to stay even if it was a1 in a million shot that this would have been a watchable flick no matter how much cash they sunk.
 
2012-05-18 08:22:27 AM
Banner year for Taylor Kitsch. He's shaping up to be an excellent flavor of box office poison.

I bet he's ready for the Friday Night Lights movie right about now.

It's a shame too, I really liked John Carter quite a bit.
 
2012-05-18 08:23:12 AM
Movie? I thought it was a video game cutscene
 
2012-05-18 08:24:42 AM

mcgreggers99: I bet he's ready for the Friday Night Lights movie right about now.


I see what you did there?

.
.
.
.
.
(The Friday Night Lights movie was directed by Peter Berg, who also directed this movie.)
 
2012-05-18 08:25:51 AM

hoodiowithtudio: Really? I didn't have a clue. I was hoping this would not monopolize too much of our time. Then again, sometimes, you just have to risk it. I am really sorry but I think we are all in trouble. I guess that is just life.


Well, film makers need to learn to stop their trivial pursuits and learn when a bad idea is a bad idea.
 
2012-05-18 08:30:46 AM

gunga galunga: mcgreggers99: I bet he's ready for the Friday Night Lights movie right about now.

I see what you did there?

.
.
.
.
.
(The Friday Night Lights movie was directed by Peter Berg, who also directed this movie.)


He's also developing a movie based on the TV show, which was originally based on a movie....Weird huh?

Link
 
2012-05-18 08:31:05 AM
Of course it's not going to be a good movie - too many people are skeptical about it right from the beginning. If it had tried to be an original movie, and not called "Battleship", then it would probably get an extra half star from reviewers. But it loses at least a half star simply because people see the title, think of the game and go "This is unbelievably stupid." without even seeing the movie.

/But I bet if I go see it, I'll enjoy it more than Avengers.
//Movie needed more characters that Joss Whedon can write for, like Ant Man, Wasp, Luke Cage, or just about anyone but Thor and Cap.
///Hell, put in Ms. Marvel instead of Thor if you want another "I beat up everyone with my fists." type of character.
////Whedon can't write for characters like Cap or Thor; he just doesn't do traditional male heroic sincerity very well. It's probably his largest weakness as a writer.
 
2012-05-18 08:32:58 AM

mcgreggers99: gunga galunga: mcgreggers99: I bet he's ready for the Friday Night Lights movie right about now.

I see what you did there?

.
.
.
.
.
(The Friday Night Lights movie was directed by Peter Berg, who also directed this movie.)

He's also developing a movie based on the TV show, which was originally based on a movie....Weird huh?

Link


When does the Broadway musical version come out?
 
2012-05-18 08:33:03 AM

babysealclubber: hoodiowithtudio: Really? I didn't have a clue. I was hoping this would not monopolize too much of our time. Then again, sometimes, you just have to risk it. I am really sorry but I think we are all in trouble. I guess that is just life.

Well, film makers need to learn to stop their trivial pursuits and learn when a bad idea is a bad idea.


What do you expect? Their voracious greed is only matched by the voracious gluttony of a million hungry, hungry hippos.
 
2012-05-18 08:38:18 AM
I'm just going to watch the SyFy ripoff airing Saturday night - "American Warships". Yes, that's really what it's called. Mario van Peebles is "starring" (I use that word loosely) in it. Based on the previous attempts to portray the military that I've seen in SyFy films, this should be absolutely hilarious.
 
2012-05-18 08:46:30 AM
Sorry Taylor Kitsch. Not everyone can make the leap from tv to movies...especially when you keep choosing shiatty projects.
 
2012-05-18 08:53:22 AM
Sad tag trumps Obvious?
 
2012-05-18 08:57:13 AM

McManus_brothers: Mario van Peebles is "starring" (I use that word loosely) in it.


He used to be pretty good. The back and forth between him and Clint Eastwood in "Heartbreak Ridge" is hilarious, and he captured that mid-80's military vibe pretty well.
 
2012-05-18 08:57:40 AM

Angry Buddha: It's something we've all seen b4, and we'll c1 again soon. H8 all you want, but these films are here to stay even if it was a1 in a million shot that this would have been a watchable flick no matter how much cash they sunk.


You sunk my dinghy.
 
2012-05-18 08:59:50 AM
But the question remains - did they find a way to shoe horn the actual board game action into the plot of the movie?
 
2012-05-18 09:01:33 AM

Lost Thought 00: But the question remains - did they find a way to shoe horn the actual board game action into the plot of the movie?


I thought I saw some Salvo shots in the trailer..
 
2012-05-18 09:02:03 AM

Techhell: Of course it's not going to be a good movie - too many people are skeptical about it right from the beginning. If it had tried to be an original movie, and not called "Battleship", then it would probably get an extra half star from reviewers. But it loses at least a half star simply because people see the title, think of the game and go "This is unbelievably stupid." without even seeing the movie.


What's even sadder is that the SyFy channel 'original movie' rip off will be
premiering tomorrow.


I saw a commercial for BATTLESHIP, followed by a commercial for this piece
of trash, and really couldn't tell them apart.
 
2012-05-18 09:02:45 AM
img85.imageshack.us
 
2012-05-18 09:05:38 AM
You know, there are lots of cool, REAL naval battles that could be depicted using CGI. A movie about Ironbottom Sound near Guadalcanal, or the battle of Leyte Gulf, or the channel dash, ir HMS Warspite, would really be awesome. A good, low budget example would be the Enterprise and Dogfights series on History Channel.

But no, they have to go waste it on crap like this. Thanks guys.
 
2012-05-18 09:07:45 AM

gunga galunga: I was about to say that it would make a good Rifftrax, but Mike and the guys are always at their weakest, I believe, when they are trying to riff on endless scenes on non-stop CGI action.


Agreed. Not even RiffTrax can make Dragonwars: D-War and Transformers 2 watchable. They are just a series of random images and explosion noises. There isn't enough of a movie there to even make fun of.
 
2012-05-18 09:08:47 AM

genepool lifeboat: Sad tag trumps Obvious?


Came for this. Leaving disappoint that I didnt get to post it.
Maybe it's just my literal nature, but considering that the US Navy does not use battleships anymore makes it hard for me to take seriously. Well, that and thinking our forces could have any chance of defeating a race that can bring an army across the galaxy to Earth.
 
2012-05-18 09:10:12 AM
Hasbro is really sticking its neck out on this one, and I don't know why they feel tehy have to brand it like that, nor why they think referencing the GI Joe movie is going to be at all helpful.

I also want to know why the company that owns Magic: The Gathering is looking to Battleship for its movie plots. Weatherlight would be better if you wanted a movie about aliens and boats.

//And Squee
 
2012-05-18 09:10:20 AM

babysealclubber: hoodiowithtudio: Really? I didn't have a clue. I was hoping this would not monopolize too much of our time. Then again, sometimes, you just have to risk it. I am really sorry but I think we are all in trouble. I guess that is just life.

Well, film makers need to learn to stop their trivial pursuits and learn when a bad idea is a bad idea.


These studio execs always think they can build a better mousetrap. What they need is an operation to have their heads examined. They better come up with a new stratego before they connect four of these flops in a row.

/I got nothing.
 
2012-05-18 09:10:49 AM

dittybopper: McManus_brothers: Mario van Peebles is "starring" (I use that word loosely) in it.

He used to be pretty good. The back and forth between him and Clint Eastwood in "Heartbreak Ridge" is hilarious, and he captured that mid-80's military vibe pretty well.


Yeah, Mario van Peebles was good in "Heartbreak Ridge", and really good in "New Jack City". SyFy seems to get quite a few late-'80s, early '90s B-listers - van Peebles, Lou Diamond Philips, Antonio Sabato Jr. Maybe they have a clearinghouse for paycheck films, I dunno.


DjangoStonereaver: Techhell: Of course it's not going to be a good movie - too many people are skeptical about it right from the beginning. If it had tried to be an original movie, and not called "Battleship", then it would probably get an extra half star from reviewers. But it loses at least a half star simply because people see the title, think of the game and go "This is unbelievably stupid." without even seeing the movie.

What's even sadder is that the SyFy channel 'original movie' rip off will be
premiering tomorrow.

I saw a commercial for BATTLESHIP, followed by a commercial for this piece
of trash, and really couldn't tell them apart.


You win, but only because you posted a link about the film. But I named it first!
 
2012-05-18 09:18:02 AM
Well, I'm crushed...
modigmovie.weebly.com
 
2012-05-18 09:18:59 AM

twotowner: genepool lifeboat: Sad tag trumps Obvious?

Came for this. Leaving disappoint that I didnt get to post it.
Maybe it's just my literal nature, but considering that the US Navy does not use battleships anymore makes it hard for me to take seriously. Well, that and thinking our forces could have any chance of defeating a race that can bring an army across the galaxy to Earth.


There's no way I'm wasting my $10.25 to find out: which battleship(s) are in the film and how do they explain them being mothballed and put back into service? Aren't all the "recent" US battleships being used as museums?
 
2012-05-18 09:43:50 AM

Leopold Stotch: You know, there are lots of cool, REAL naval battles that could be depicted using CGI. A movie about Ironbottom Sound near Guadalcanal, or the battle of Leyte Gulf, or the channel dash, ir HMS Warspite, would really be awesome. A good, low budget example would be the Enterprise and Dogfights series on History Channel.

But no, they have to go waste it on crap like this. Thanks guys.


THIS. Why not do the Battle of Midway, we're coming up on the 70th Anniversary. That would be filled with badass Americans (Waldron, McCluskey, Thatch), death defying Japanese (Fuchida), sacrifice and the ultimate 15 minutes in American Naval history.

Hell, just starting with the 4 months-cum-4 days repair job on Yorktown would be a killer opening.

Real life, in other words, would make a far better movie.
 
2012-05-18 09:52:47 AM

trotsky:
THIS. Why not do the Battle of Midway, we're coming up on the 70th Anniversary. That would be filled with badass Americans (Waldron, McCluskey, Thatch), death defying Japanese (Fuchida), sacrifice and the ultimate 15 minutes in American Naval history.

Hell, just starting with the 4 months-cum-4 days repair job on Yorktown would be a killer opening.

Real life, in other words, would make a far better movie.


Yeah, but I DO want to see battleships and naval artillery!
 
2012-05-18 09:55:12 AM
A movie based on a board game game not good?

Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
 
2012-05-18 10:05:41 AM
I got to see a preview screening last week (work for hasbro) and I loved the opening scene. Then the opening scene ended and the giant "BATTLESHIP" title crawl appeared....

And I was severly disappointed because I would not have another 90 minutes of a man seaking out chicken burritos to show his love.

Not a good movie, but had some decent moments. It's the first misfire for Peter Berg.
 
2012-05-18 10:05:45 AM
You might want to sit down for this, but it looks like "Battleship" just isn't really that good of a movie.

Not surprising. The trailer showed shait blowing up, then more shait blowing up, and then a lot more shait blowing up. That was it.
 
2012-05-18 10:09:05 AM

twotowner: Maybe it's just my literal nature, but considering that the US Navy does not use battleships anymore makes it hard for me to take seriously. Well, that and thinking our forces could have any chance of defeating a race that can bring an army across the galaxy to Earth.


I'm just wondering how a group of beings that can come up with enough energy to play games with orbits can't take out a boat.

I wish the US Navy would bring back an Iowa class just for parking in harbours to make a statement. If they put one in the port of Eyl Somalia and did a few practice shots with all the big guns at once, I'm guessing the piracy problem would go away.
 
2012-05-18 10:10:33 AM

Lost Thought 00: But the question remains - did they find a way to shoe horn the actual board game action into the plot of the movie?


Yes, and I'll admit it actually "works". You chuckle of course, but it does work and is rooted in possible actual science.
 
2012-05-18 10:14:04 AM

Metraxis: Hasbro is really sticking its neck out on this one, and I don't know why they feel tehy have to brand it like that, nor why they think referencing the GI Joe movie is going to be at all helpful.

I also want to know why the company that owns Magic: The Gathering is looking to Battleship for its movie plots. Weatherlight would be better if you wanted a movie about aliens and boats.

//And Squee


I think we've moved past the weatherlight crew and would focus on planeswalkers...

But weatherlight was a fun story arc...

/jace beleren is emo
//liliana has hooker hoops
 
2012-05-18 10:17:16 AM
Came for Rihanna: "boom"...leaving disappointed.
 
2012-05-18 10:18:42 AM
They should make a movie about the battle of Jutland.
 
2012-05-18 10:19:12 AM
The sad thing is I'm still going to watch it.

/Waiting diligently for the stratego movie.
//YES, scouts can move as many spaces in a straight line as they want! How does NOBODY know that rule!
 
2012-05-18 10:19:38 AM
The different warfare communities in the Navy all eventually get a movie. We submariners have an extensive array of classics from which to choose (Das Boot, Run Silent Run Deep, HRFO, even Down Periscope was better than it deserved to be); airedales have Top Gun (even USAF zoomies cling to that movie as their own); EOD has The Hurt Locker (yeah it was army but they all go to the same school and all worked in-country). Divers have Men of Honor, and even the JAG folks have a great one in A Few Good Men. Officer candidate school? An Officer and a Gentlemen.

Others just get the short end of the stick; to think that Act of Valor was a massive improvement over NSW's previous hollywood take: Navy SEALs which was god-awful. Annapolis was nonsense. Pearl Harbor was a chick flick with lots of explosions... just a sing.

I teach a course for vessel boarding teams, and I was really hoping that Battleship would be surprisingly good, considering it centers around the Boarding Officer I think. I guess that was too much to hope.

What is totally accurate is that NWUs (the digital, blue cammies that Navy personnel now wear) can make even a pop star woman look dumpy.
 
2012-05-18 10:20:56 AM

Leopold Stotch: You know, there are lots of cool, REAL naval battles that could be depicted using CGI. A movie about Ironbottom Sound near Guadalcanal, or the battle of Leyte Gulf, or the channel dash, ir HMS Warspite, would really be awesome. A good, low budget example would be the Enterprise and Dogfights series on History Channel.

But no, they have to go waste it on crap like this. Thanks guys.


I saw the ad for this last night and thought, "It's times like this I wish I had kids, because we'd be taking a moment(several hours) to watch 'Midway' instead of this crap.
 
2012-05-18 10:29:10 AM
www.animationconnection.com

They Sunk Battleship!
 
2012-05-18 10:31:42 AM

factoryconnection: JAG folks have a great one in A Few Good Men.


Don't forget the TV show, which had the advantage of Katherine Bell:

www.iphonebrand.com

(Yes, her character was a Marine, but any excuse to post pics of her is a good one)
 
2012-05-18 10:33:59 AM

factoryconnection: The different warfare communities in the Navy all eventually get a movie. We submariners have an extensive array of classics from which to choose (Das Boot, Run Silent Run Deep, HRFO, even Down Periscope was better than it deserved to be); airedales have Top Gun (even USAF zoomies cling to that movie as their own); EOD has The Hurt Locker (yeah it was army but they all go to the same school and all worked in-country). Divers have Men of Honor, and even the JAG folks have a great one in A Few Good Men. Officer candidate school? An Officer and a Gentlemen.

Others just get the short end of the stick; to think that Act of Valor was a massive improvement over NSW's previous hollywood take: Navy SEALs which was god-awful. Annapolis was nonsense. Pearl Harbor was a chick flick with lots of explosions... just a sing.

I teach a course for vessel boarding teams, and I was really hoping that Battleship would be surprisingly good, considering it centers around the Boarding Officer I think. I guess that was too much to hope.

What is totally accurate is that NWUs (the digital, blue cammies that Navy personnel now wear) can make even a pop star woman look dumpy.


Navy Seals!
 
2012-05-18 10:43:51 AM
I pretty sure the first time I saw this movie it was called Independence Day.
 
2012-05-18 10:45:42 AM
Meh.
It's times like this I'm glad I have disposable income and no baggage to weigh me down watching movies.
I'll see it and walk away. Things get blowed up real good and sometimes that's all I need.

/simple man
//simple needs
///left my "nerd rage" about movies behind me years ago and it feels soooo good.
 
2012-05-18 10:48:09 AM
I just don't know how they got Liam Neeson for it. He has been on a roll lately with pretty good movies. Taken was good and I've hard good things about the Grey.
 
2012-05-18 10:55:10 AM

ModernPrimitive01: I just don't know how they got Liam Neeson for it. He has been on a roll lately with pretty good movies. Taken was good and I've hard good things about the Grey.


When they show up with a dump truck full of money you do not turn it down.
 
2012-05-18 11:07:12 AM

DjangoStonereaver: Techhell: Of course it's not going to be a good movie - too many people are skeptical about it right from the beginning. If it had tried to be an original movie, and not called "Battleship", then it would probably get an extra half star from reviewers. But it loses at least a half star simply because people see the title, think of the game and go "This is unbelievably stupid." without even seeing the movie.

What's even sadder is that the SyFy channel 'original movie' rip off will be
premiering tomorrow.

I saw a commercial for BATTLESHIP, followed by a commercial for this piece
of trash, and really couldn't tell them apart.


When I first saw the trailer for Battleship, I thought it was an internet parody.
 
2012-05-18 11:08:07 AM

mariner314: Lost Thought 00: But the question remains - did they find a way to shoe horn the actual board game action into the plot of the movie?

Yes, and I'll admit it actually "works". You chuckle of course, but it does work and is rooted in possible actual science.


I'm not going to watch the whole movie, but I'll have to lookup that bit. I cannot imagine a way in which it is not completely absurd.
 
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