If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(MyFox Twin Cities)   Mercury for sale on Craigslist. What could go wrong?   (myfoxtwincities.com) divider line 19
    More: Fail, Craigslist, pollution control, gold mining, smokestacks, MPCA, coal-fired power plants  
•       •       •

14123 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2012 at 4:16 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-05-17 04:26:57 PM
19 votes:
When I turned twenty-eight, I figured I'd make an investment and try to cash in on the Craigslist craze. So, I started with an empty two liter bottle formerly filled with Diet Dr. Pepper. I kept it under my bed. Every morning when I woke up, and every night before I went to sleep, I'd jerk it and shoot a big load of man-glaze into the bottle. In about eigth months, I'd filled it to the top. I put it on Craigslist for $175, thinking I'd aim high and come down over time. Well, little did I know, there's a whole secret society of jizz guzzlers that pay tippy-top dollar for this kind of stuff. Before I know it, I'm in a bidding war between a guy who wants to pay me $500, and a raspy voiced woman who wants to pay me $675. Back and forth, back and forth, the price keeps going up and up. In the end, this dark horse no-name swoops in and buys it for $1250. He threw in a stack of old Hustlers to seal it.

He brought the money and the magazines by my house. We swapped off quick, but he must've been starving for it, because before he even leaves my driveway, he cracks it open, and chugs about a third of it. Didn't even shake it up. What kind of person does that?

I don't know what gets into these people, but at the moment, I'm farting into a Mylar balloon every night. I plan to sell that next week.
2012-05-17 02:03:15 PM
5 votes:
I read that article and wondered if it was real-life, or made up -- you know -- just fantasy.
2012-05-17 01:59:30 PM
4 votes:
What's so odd about that? There are Cougars all over Craigslist.
2012-05-17 03:22:45 PM
3 votes:
I figured the Craigslist ad was about the element -- but I was really hoping it was about the planet.
2012-05-17 05:02:47 PM
2 votes:
blogs.orlandosentinel.com

Eh, someone had to.
2012-05-17 04:49:46 PM
2 votes:
FTA""What you have to realize is that millions of dollars are spent by coal-burning electric utilities to keep even a fraction of that amount from coming out of their smoke stacks. And if even a few ounces of mercury are spilled, it can set off a major hazardous materials response, which has happened several times in the last decade.

Gosh, let's hope nothing happens to my thermometer outsi- *CRASH*

Whoops.

*distant sirens*
2012-05-17 04:30:26 PM
2 votes:
"The MPCA decided it made more sense to buy the mercury and contain it quickly for proper disposal, rather than to start the time-consuming process of a compliance investigation."

+1 for government efficiency. No, really. A lot of agencies would have spent $650 just on nametags. They solved the problem with a few Benjamins and a van.

It's like Bang Bus, but with more environmental pollution control and fewer daddy issues.
2012-05-17 04:14:51 PM
2 votes:

gilgigamesh: eraser8: I figured the Craigslist ad was about the element -- but I was really hoping it was about the planet.

I thought it was going to be the planet. It didn't even occur to me it would actually be the element.


I was kind of hoping for the car... something like this ad, but it's for a Pontiac (click to embiggen):

www.majhost.com
2012-05-18 01:19:42 AM
1 votes:
Meanwhile, the federal government has 17,000 tons of mercury that they don't know what to do with.

I have an idea!

www.gigglepedia.com

Mercury fountain in every backyard! The kids are gonna love it!!

/doesn't it suck that the funnest metal to play with has to be toxic?
2012-05-17 07:28:42 PM
1 votes:

RibbyK: candiru.fish: Wasn't there a thread last week and some Farker said he had a bunch of mercury he had inherited and was asking what to do with it?
I think someone said "sell it on craigslist!"
Does anyone remember this besides me?

Perhaps it was highendmighty but I'd then actually have to read the posting above.
/Keep up with the rest of us, please.


No, not me. I must have been out of the office that day not to see it.

ISO15693: highendmighty: Anyone know how much it is worth? I inherited about 20 lbs of it.

Well, we know that the government paid $400,000 to clean up 12 lbs of it. It seems like you could ask them for at least $200,000 not to spread it around. That sounds fair, right?


I like this idea. If you see "Dumbass with mercury tries to blackmail feds" in a future Fark headline, well...
2012-05-17 05:25:04 PM
1 votes:

gilgigamesh: eraser8: I figured the Craigslist ad was about the element -- but I was really hoping it was about the planet.

I thought it was going to be the planet. It didn't even occur to me it would actually be the element.


Yep, I was ready to buy a few acres.
2012-05-17 05:20:36 PM
1 votes:
I was gonna bid...

But I settled on a hot. rod. Lincoln.
2012-05-17 05:16:58 PM
1 votes:

spentmiles: When I turned twenty-eight, I figured I'd make an investment and try to cash in on the Craigslist craze. So, I started with an empty two liter bottle formerly filled with Diet Dr. Pepper. I kept it under my bed. Every morning when I woke up, and every night before I went to sleep, I'd jerk it and shoot a big load of man-glaze into the bottle. In about eigth months, I'd filled it to the top. I put it on Craigslist for $175, thinking I'd aim high and come down over time. Well, little did I know, there's a whole secret society of jizz guzzlers that pay tippy-top dollar for this kind of stuff. Before I know it, I'm in a bidding war between a guy who wants to pay me $500, and a raspy voiced woman who wants to pay me $675. Back and forth, back and forth, the price keeps going up and up. In the end, this dark horse no-name swoops in and buys it for $1250. He threw in a stack of old Hustlers to seal it.

He brought the money and the magazines by my house. We swapped off quick, but he must've been starving for it, because before he even leaves my driveway, he cracks it open, and chugs about a third of it. Didn't even shake it up. What kind of person does that?

I don't know what gets into these people, but at the moment, I'm farting into a Mylar balloon every night. I plan to sell that next week.


What the fark?!



/They ripped you off.
2012-05-17 04:42:30 PM
1 votes:
So long as no one is advertising to sell Uranus, I wouldn't worry about it
2012-05-17 04:40:41 PM
1 votes:
Damn I was gonna buy it myself for a special project.
fpc.dos.state.fl.us
/Fark you fishermen.
2012-05-17 04:38:23 PM
1 votes:

timujin: I dunno, it sounds like that worked out as well as anyone could hope. He had it up for sale, they didn't want it getting into someone else's hands so they negotiated a price and bought it. Much better than if the government had just come in and seized the guy's property.


THIS

I simply can not believe a government organization could show so much common sense. Any investigation would have cost thousands of dollars. And if they would have decided to confiscate the stuff I'm sure it would have required a SWAT team in haz-mat suites. Instead someone who will likely be fired for not following procedures just bought the stuff for probably less than $50.

Case closed and no dogs were shot during the raid.
2012-05-17 04:35:09 PM
1 votes:

dugitman: You know you're from a flyover state when this was the first thing that popped into your head.

[images02.olx.com image 586x625]


Welfare motor.

Black and doesn't work.


I keed, I keed.
2012-05-17 04:31:04 PM
1 votes:

Canton: This. The man was compensated, the government has a means of disposing the cool-but-hazardous material, nobody is going to court over anything... The only fail was listing the stuff on Craigslist in the first place.


I wonder what the seller would have thought if this guy showed up to buy it:
i.dailymail.co.uk
2012-05-17 04:26:21 PM
1 votes:
CSB: As a kid in Oklahoma my grandfather, who installed and maintained oilfield instruments for a living, had a Cool Whip container full of mercury he let us cousins float bolts and nuts and stuff in whenever we came over to visit. It was pretty neat, especially when you "accidentally" let a drop splash on the floor and it splatted in to a bunch of tiny silver spheres that skittered every which way. I remember Granmom complaining about finding clumps of mercury in the dust bunnies.

Now before you go acting like he was a bad person or anything, keep in mind that he did tell us not to pick our noses and eat it before we had washed our hands, so he definitely had our safety in mind

*twitch*
 
Displayed 19 of 19 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report