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(BGR)   Apple: "Not happy with Siri? Buy an Android phone"   (bgr.com) divider line 134
    More: Amusing, Android Phone, Sirius, Android, iPhone 4S  
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5980 clicks; posted to Geek » on 17 May 2012 at 3:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-17 11:57:55 AM
Siri, I'd like to return my phone.

I'm really sorry about this but I cannot take any requests right now. Please try again later.

Siri, I'd like to return my phone.

I'm really sorry about this but I cannot take any requests right now. Please try again later.

Siri, I'd like to return my phone.

I've found three place that sell foam near you.
 
2012-05-17 12:01:18 PM
Siri, is this a repeat?
 
2012-05-17 12:05:29 PM
Nope...I guess not

/I'm siri
 
2012-05-17 12:13:55 PM
Siri is useless.
 
2012-05-17 12:22:42 PM
I want an iPhone 4s, but I don't give two flying f*cks if Siri is on the phone or not. The latest OS runs slow as hell on my 3Gs.
 
2012-05-17 12:24:45 PM
Lying about your products functionality is still lying about your products functionality, regardless of your return policy or your warranty. These people can keep their phones and still have a case because they're not complaining that the phone doesn't work, only that Apple lied about the software.
 
2012-05-17 12:30:50 PM

Shostie: I want an iPhone 4s, but I don't give two flying f*cks if Siri is on the phone or not. The latest OS runs slow as hell on my 3Gs.


I have a 4S. The only thing I use Siri for is to voice-dial, which is already available on the 3GS, my previous phone.
 
2012-05-17 12:33:29 PM
Here, just put these where they need to go in my post above: ' '
 
2012-05-17 12:35:31 PM
I have a 4S. The only thing I use S'iri for is to voice-dial, which is already available on the 3G'S, my previous phone.
 
2012-05-17 12:36:40 PM
Done.
 
2012-05-17 12:37:09 PM
Lying about your products functionality is still lying about your products functionality, regardless of your return policy or your warranty. These people can keep their phones and still have a case because they're not complaining that the phone doesn't work, only that Apple lied about the software. '_'
 
2012-05-17 12:49:22 PM
Saborlas: "Sounds like a good idea. I don't wanna pay $500 a year just to show off that I have a newer phone than everyone else."
 
2012-05-17 12:53:24 PM
Siri commercials show Zooey Deschanel in her pajamas.
To date, at no time while using Siri, has Zooey Deschanel appeared in my client's apartment, wearing pajamas or any other such attire.
My client demands Apple produce Zooey Deschanel within 30 business days, wearing one of the following
> pajamas
> lingerie
> spandex
Additionally, my client asks for $10,000 for pain and suffering.
Cutesy observations of questionable entertainment value made by Ms. Deschanel, are up to the discretion of Ms. Deschanel.
 
2012-05-17 12:59:35 PM
It's encouraging to see that the whole "Don't like it? F*ck off" attitude Apple's had for so long didn't die with Unca Steve.

WE ARE APPLE. WE KNOW WHAT'S BEST. THIS IS HOW YOU DO THAT. NO EXCEPTIONS. COMPLY OR TAKE YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR DISSENT INSIDE THE CORE.
 
2012-05-17 01:04:25 PM

James!: I have a 4S. The only thing I use S'iri for is to voice-dial, which is already available on the 3G'S, my previous phone.


I can't even use Siri for voice dialing because she can't tell the difference between "John Smith" and "Mary Allen". My old 3GS did much better.
 
2012-05-17 01:14:00 PM
Anyone who actually believes things represented in advertising is delusional or profoundly foolish. (I suppose there is not reason they cannot be both.) For example, after many years of drinking a nationally advertised brand of brand of Malt Liquor, Billy Dee Williams has never arrived at my home with a bevy of attractive African American women, nor am I nearly as cool as Mr. Williams! Should I sue Bill Dee or the manufacturer of Colt 45?
 
2012-05-17 01:17:43 PM

Ennuipoet: Anyone who actually believes things represented in advertising is delusional or profoundly foolish.


Yup:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-05-17 01:29:49 PM

Shostie: Lying about your products functionality is still lying about your products functionality, regardless of your return policy or your warranty. These people can keep their phones and still have a case because they're not complaining that the phone doesn't work, only that Apple lied about the software. '_'


Thanks, that's much better!
.
.
.

/I larfed
 
2012-05-17 02:02:50 PM
I did exactly that. My Galaxy Nexus wins.
 
2012-05-17 03:06:29 PM
Only a farking retard would think that the Siri actually functions like it does in the commercials.

However, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be called on their bullshiat.
 
2012-05-17 03:40:30 PM

MaxxLarge: Ennuipoet: Anyone who actually believes things represented in advertising is delusional or profoundly foolish.

Yup:

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 480x346]


Now I want a whopper.
 
2012-05-17 03:43:26 PM

tallguywithglasseson: Siri commercials show Zooey Deschanel in her pajamas.
To date, at no time while using Siri, has Zooey Deschanel appeared in my client's apartment, wearing pajamas or any other such attire.
My client demands Apple produce Zooey Deschanel within 30 business days, wearing one of the following
> pajamas
> lingerie
> spandex
Additionally, my client asks for $10,000 for pain and suffering.
Cutesy observations of questionable entertainment value made by Ms. Deschanel, are up to the discretion of Ms. Deschanel.


I don't understand the appeal. I mean, when I first saw her in a couple things, I was smitten but then I saw her on one of the late night talk shows. I'm shocked that anyone that stupid can manage to avoid getting run over crossing the street.
 
2012-05-17 03:48:01 PM
I had stopped using Siri for a while, but yesterday I was feeling too lazy to open my weather app so I asked "what's the weather?" and it worked perfectly. Then I asked "how's the stock market doing?" and it gave me a nice update, and when I asked "how about Apple stock?" and it understood perfectly and gave me the update on AAPL. I might start using it some more again.
 
2012-05-17 03:49:12 PM

meanmutton: I don't understand the appeal. I mean, when I first saw her in a couple things, I was smitten but then I saw her on one of the late night talk shows. I'm shocked that anyone that stupid can manage to avoid getting run over crossing the street.


I wanted to punch her in the face after seeing 500 Days
 
2012-05-17 03:49:29 PM
I just recently purchased 2 new phones:

For me: HTC One X (LTE version on AT&T)
For her: Apple iPhone 4S

They both function just fine, but the screen on the One X simply blows every other display I've seen out of the water. I get surprisingly good battery life considering the immense size of the One X screen, but hers is still better. She uses Siri sometimes and it's been mostly ok, with a few misses - and I make fun of her for talking to her phone. What I really have that she can't get is a program like Llama that automatically switches between customized device profiles (wifi on/off, mobile data on/off, ring tones, volume, active programs, wallpapers, etc..) based on location, time, and/or events. That actually makes my smartphone feel like it's actually smart.
 
2012-05-17 03:49:58 PM
Yeah Apple, THAT'S the way to keep customers.... Insult them, and they'll return in droves.

I love my Andriod, won't ever use an iPhone by choice, especially with all of the asshole stances the company takes over the last few yeears.
 
2012-05-17 03:56:10 PM

meanmutton: I don't understand the appeal. I mean, when I first saw her in a couple things, I was smitten but then I saw her on one of the late night talk shows. I'm shocked that anyone that stupid can manage to avoid getting run over crossing the street.


I found her performance in the Apple commercial to be somewhat irritating.

But then, I think she was just phoning it in.
 
2012-05-17 03:56:19 PM
Of all the iPhone users I know, I have yet to see one of them effectively utilize the Siri function. The only thing I see them do is ask it off the wall questions just to hear the response. A glorified magic 8 ball.
 
2012-05-17 03:56:37 PM

Mikey1969: Yeah Apple, THAT'S the way to keep customers.... Insult them, and they'll return in droves.

I love my Andriod, won't ever use an iPhone by choice, especially with all of the asshole stances the company takes over the last few yeears.


Except in this case Apple is exactly right. These people aren't complaining, they're suing. What are their damages? They didn't get sick or made late to work or their suits ruined by rain. Their only possible damages are the cost of the phone in excess of its value with Siri as they perceive it rather than as Apple claimed. Apple's response? "WTF? You can have the whole goddamn price of the phone back for a full month!"

The plaintiffs lawyers behind this suit should all be disbarred.
 
2012-05-17 03:56:40 PM
Hey kids here's a tip for you. Enunciate! I watch my daughter try to use Siri and she is always amazed how the voice recognition miraculously works when you slow down and actually speak clearly.
 
2012-05-17 03:58:07 PM

Dinobot: meanmutton: I don't understand the appeal. I mean, when I first saw her in a couple things, I was smitten but then I saw her on one of the late night talk shows. I'm shocked that anyone that stupid can manage to avoid getting run over crossing the street.

I wanted to punch her in the face after seeing 500 Days


I still like her, but the people I REALLY want to punch in the face are the ones who use the term "adorkable". A punch in the face, followed by a kick to the genitals, a sledge hammer to the shoulder blades, another kick to the genitals, whip out a razor knife and add cuts all over their body, douse them in rubbing alcohol, let it sit for 10 minutes, then douse them in gasoline, light it, and then feed their kids the meat, still smoking.

In other words, please don't use the word 'adorkable'. My daughter doesn't want to have to visit her daddy in prison.
 
2012-05-17 04:00:24 PM

Mikey1969: Dinobot: meanmutton: I don't understand the appeal. I mean, when I first saw her in a couple things, I was smitten but then I saw her on one of the late night talk shows. I'm shocked that anyone that stupid can manage to avoid getting run over crossing the street.

I wanted to punch her in the face after seeing 500 Days

I still like her, but the people I REALLY want to punch in the face are the ones who use the term "adorkable". A punch in the face, followed by a kick to the genitals, a sledge hammer to the shoulder blades, another kick to the genitals, whip out a razor knife and add cuts all over their body, douse them in rubbing alcohol, let it sit for 10 minutes, then douse them in gasoline, light it, and then feed their kids the meat, still smoking.

In other words, please don't use the word 'adorkable'. My daughter doesn't want to have to visit her daddy in prison.


I use the word 'adorkable' but I'd not use it to describe her.
 
2012-05-17 04:03:17 PM

Mikey1969: I still like her, but the people I REALLY want to punch in the face are the ones who use the term "adorkable". A punch in the face, followed by a kick to the genitals, a sledge hammer to the shoulder blades, another kick to the genitals, whip out a razor knife and add cuts all over their body, douse them in rubbing alcohol, let it sit for 10 minutes, then douse them in gasoline, light it, and then feed their kids the meat, still smoking.

In other words, please don't use the word 'adorkable'. My daughter doesn't want to have to visit her daddy in prison.



You do not want to see the Tshirts my Mom got for me and the lady friend.
 
2012-05-17 04:04:02 PM
i1.cpcache.com
 
2012-05-17 04:07:00 PM
These people are morons and they deserve to lose the suit. "It's not quite as cool as the commercials" isn't a farking crime, it's a sign that you bought something you didn't understand. You can use the goddamned things before you buy it.

(Full Disclosure: I support retail software. People constantly want to get a refund, long after buying something, because they didn't farking read what they were buying. I have no sympathies.)
 
2012-05-17 04:08:45 PM

timujin: Lying about your products functionality is still lying about your products functionality, regardless of your return policy or your warranty. These people can keep their phones and still have a case because they're not complaining that the phone doesn't work, only that Apple lied about the software.


winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Apple's argument is weak as water. They don't deny that they made false reps. Plus, these folks may have liked other features of the phone enough to put up with the Siri issue. Doesn't mean they're not entitled to sue over a false or deceptive trade practice.
 
2012-05-17 04:09:43 PM

fawlty: timujin: Lying about your products functionality is still lying about your products functionality, regardless of your return policy or your warranty. These people can keep their phones and still have a case because they're not complaining that the phone doesn't work, only that Apple lied about the software.

winner, winner, chicken dinner.

Apple's argument is weak as water. They don't deny that they made false reps. Plus, these folks may have liked other features of the phone enough to put up with the Siri issue. Doesn't mean they're not entitled to sue over a false or deceptive trade practice.


Go ahead and tell me where Apple made specific false claims.
 
2012-05-17 04:10:13 PM

Dinobot: I use the word 'adorkable' but I'd not use it to describe her.


Well, if you see a guy walking down the street with a razor knife, sledgehammer, bottle of rubbing alcohol and 5 gallons of gas, muttering to himself, you should probably cross the street just to be safe... ;-)
 
2012-05-17 04:10:50 PM

sign_of_Zeta: You do not want to see the Tshirts my Mom got for me and the lady friend.


Tell your Mom that she is in trouble! :-)
 
2012-05-17 04:11:00 PM

meanmutton: tallguywithglasseson: Siri commercials show Zooey Deschanel in her pajamas.
To date, at no time while using Siri, has Zooey Deschanel appeared in my client's apartment, wearing pajamas or any other such attire.
My client demands Apple produce Zooey Deschanel within 30 business days, wearing one of the following
> pajamas
> lingerie
> spandex
Additionally, my client asks for $10,000 for pain and suffering.
Cutesy observations of questionable entertainment value made by Ms. Deschanel, are up to the discretion of Ms. Deschanel.

I don't understand the appeal. I mean, when I first saw her in a couple things, I was smitten but then I saw her on one of the late night talk shows. I'm shocked that anyone that stupid can manage to avoid getting run over crossing the street.


What totally turned me off of her was her appearance as a guest on Top Chef Masters awhile ago.

She apparently has a wheat and soy allergy and is lactose intolerant... and with those terrible diet restrictions already in place... she chooses to be essentially a vegan. Good God, woman, seriously?
 
2012-05-17 04:18:17 PM

LasersHurt: Go ahead and tell me where Apple made specific false claims.


I believe the claims are that Apple represented in advertising materials that Siri would function is a specific manner. When put to the test in the real world, Siri does not, in fact, function in that manner. That's a deceptive trade practice in Texas and probably most states. If committed knowingly, which it probably was, it justifies an award of economic damages PLUS a punitive award of up to 3X economic damages PLUS mental anguish damages. You don't want to run afoul of a DTPA claim, which Apple certainly has.
 
2012-05-17 04:19:29 PM

meanmutton: tallguywithglasseson: Siri commercials show Zooey Deschanel in her pajamas.
To date, at no time while using Siri, has Zooey Deschanel appeared in my client's apartment, wearing pajamas or any other such attire.
My client demands Apple produce Zooey Deschanel within 30 business days, wearing one of the following
> pajamas
> lingerie
> spandex
Additionally, my client asks for $10,000 for pain and suffering.
Cutesy observations of questionable entertainment value made by Ms. Deschanel, are up to the discretion of Ms. Deschanel.

I don't understand the appeal. I mean, when I first saw her in a couple things, I was smitten but then I saw her on one of the late night talk shows. I'm shocked that anyone that stupid can manage to avoid getting run over crossing the street.


The sexiest thing she ever did was a York's Peppermint Patty commercial.
 
2012-05-17 04:25:59 PM

fawlty: LasersHurt: Go ahead and tell me where Apple made specific false claims.

I believe the claims are that Apple represented in advertising materials that Siri would function is a specific manner. When put to the test in the real world, Siri does not, in fact, function in that manner. That's a deceptive trade practice in Texas and probably most states. If committed knowingly, which it probably was, it justifies an award of economic damages PLUS a punitive award of up to 3X economic damages PLUS mental anguish damages. You don't want to run afoul of a DTPA claim, which Apple certainly has.


Kinda like the Skechers shoes.
 
2012-05-17 04:29:32 PM

timujin: Lying about your products functionality is still lying about your products functionality, regardless of your return policy or your warranty. These people can keep their phones and still have a case because they're not complaining that the phone doesn't work, only that Apple lied about the software.

 
2012-05-17 04:31:16 PM

timujin: Lying about your products functionality is still lying about your products functionality, regardless of your return policy or your warranty. These people can keep their phones and still have a case because they're not complaining that the phone doesn't work, only that Apple lied about the software.


nbnl.globalwhelming.com
 
2012-05-17 04:39:32 PM
Speaking of which: Can anyone strongly recommend an Android phone that can use AT&T? I'm looking to switch but this is the first time in three years I've looked at cell phones.
 
2012-05-17 04:40:48 PM

Shrugging Atlas: Speaking of which: Can anyone strongly recommend an Android phone that can use AT&T? I'm looking to switch but this is the first time in three years I've looked at cell phones.


HTC One X, see my comments earlier in the thread.
 
2012-05-17 04:40:48 PM

fawlty: LasersHurt: Go ahead and tell me where Apple made specific false claims.

I believe the claims are that Apple represented in advertising materials that Siri would function is a specific manner. When put to the test in the real world, Siri does not, in fact, function in that manner. That's a deceptive trade practice in Texas and probably most states. If committed knowingly, which it probably was, it justifies an award of economic damages PLUS a punitive award of up to 3X economic damages PLUS mental anguish damages. You don't want to run afoul of a DTPA claim, which Apple certainly has.


Again... SPECIFIC. What did they claim it would do, exactly?
 
2012-05-17 04:44:06 PM
The people are idiots and they won't win.

That said, Siri sucks and is most certainly not even close to being as reliable, accurate, or as useful as portrayed in the commercials.
 
2012-05-17 04:45:40 PM

Shrugging Atlas: Speaking of which: Can anyone strongly recommend an Android phone that can use AT&T? I'm looking to switch but this is the first time in three years I've looked at cell phones.


If you want to go the off-contract/prepaid route, I'd go for the unlocked Galaxy Nexus sold through Google Play. But I don't think AT&T has the kinds of plans to make an unlocked smartphone pay off like T-mobile does.
 
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