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(GQ)   "His voice is so high, it sounds like a ringtone." Reporter meets the new, improved, manly Bieber 2.0 on his 18th birthday   (gq.com) divider line 44
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4401 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2012 at 11:55 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-17 11:38:07 AM  
www.gq.com

Ha Ha Ha, WTF?
 
2012-05-17 11:38:31 AM  
Drew Magary is awesome.
 
2012-05-17 11:56:11 AM  
Oh, so she's legal now.

HAVE AT 'ER, FARKERS
 
2012-05-17 11:56:55 AM  

Shakespeare's Monkey: [www.gq.com image 628x434]

Ha Ha Ha, WTF?


I so wish I had been there when that pic was taken...with a #2 clipper, that is...
 
2012-05-17 11:57:24 AM  
Everything I know about the Bieber I learned on FARK.

I have no idea of what he sounds like and I'm completely okay with that.
 
2012-05-17 11:58:28 AM  
OK JB...you're an adult now...time to leave the closet.

Don't worry...nobody will care.

Seriously, nobody.
 
2012-05-17 12:00:40 PM  
This is a broadcast of the Emegency Alert System. This is not a test.

Someone used the words "manly" and "Bieber" in a sentence. Together. At the same time.

*hole tears through the space-time continuum, subby goes to hell, the rest of us are left to clean up subby's mess, live like bears*
 
2012-05-17 12:03:23 PM  
Pull your pants up son, before someone sticks a finger up there....or something bigger.
img.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-17 12:04:31 PM  
She really has grown into a fine young woman.
 
2012-05-17 12:07:00 PM  
Bieber.

Least funny Fark meme ever.
 
2012-05-17 12:07:48 PM  

Walker: Pull your pants up son, before someone sticks a finger up there....or something bigger.
[img.photobucket.com image 532x700]


*facepalm*

Whitest. Guy. EVER.
 
2012-05-17 12:09:02 PM  

Blues Lounger: OK JB...you're an adult now...time to leave the closet.

Don't worry...nobody will care.

Seriously, nobody.


I give it 6 months before we hear about his drug addiction. 12 months until we hear about his "replacement" for boy idol.
 
2012-05-17 12:09:37 PM  
I would hardly call Big Daddy Drew a "reporter".
 
2012-05-17 12:12:21 PM  

You all laugh, but the Beebs gets to go to Lakers games and the Grammys and sit next to this,

i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com


then go home and cry over being too afraid to make a move on her while wrapping an electrical cord around his neck and masturbating.
 
2012-05-17 12:15:22 PM  
FTFA: After a few minutes, I noticed that someone had drawn a bunch of dicks all over the grease board by the door. So I pointed at them and asked, "Hey, who drew all the dicks?"

Ok, so now I have to ask...

What's Bieber's FARK handle?

/and I'll bet he's the bastard who's been submitting all the "I still don't know what a Bieber is" threads
 
2012-05-17 12:19:38 PM  
I have been warned by several people, including some people in his own camp, that Bieber has a very short attention span. This is correct. He is amazingly distractible. He also bursts into song a lot, at random intervals, no matter who's around. (...Money on my mind and you on my mind, too much on my mind...) If it were anyone else, this would be annoying, but this is Justin Bieber, so every improvised song fragment is intended as a present to whoever's around him, like that SNL skit in which Picasso dashes off sketches on scraps of paper and hands them to anyone walking by.

To me, it'd be more like that episode of Doctor Who, when van Gogh keeps trying to trade his paintings for booze. NOBODY WANTS THAT shiat, VINNY/JUSTIN!!!

/the difference being, of course, EVERYONE will remember Vinny
 
2012-05-17 12:20:55 PM  

Shakespeare's Monkey: www.gq.com


I've seen hair like that before...

blogs.seattleweekly.com
 
2012-05-17 12:24:38 PM  
Bieber likes to listen to his music at roughly 9,000 decibels. Once we've all piled inside the studio, he sits by the console, cues up the first single, "Boyfriend," and turns a big red knob in the center as high as it will go.

images.wikia.com
 
2012-05-17 12:28:08 PM  
"That kid's got ears made of steel," I say.

"Until he doesn't anymore," says Flores.

"He'll be Pete Townshend in, like, two years," I say.

"Who?"


I want to believe this is an obvious joke but... but it's not a joke, is it?

/Who doesn't know who Pete Townshend is...?
 
2012-05-17 12:33:56 PM  
...aaaand author of TFA immediately mentions Back to the Future in the very next sentence.

Eh.

Anyhoo: I genuinely like some of the songs, especially "Boyfriend," but I have to watch my expression during the tracks where Bieber raps. His flow is slower than prostate cancer.

AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

/gonna use this one
//don't know WHEN
///gotta reclaim my title as Whitest. Guy. EVAR
 
2012-05-17 12:37:18 PM  

Blues Lounger: OK JB...you're an adult now...time to leave the closet.

Don't worry...nobody will care.

Seriously, nobody.


img.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-17 12:38:18 PM  
5'9.....yeah WITH the hair.
 
2012-05-17 12:43:08 PM  
His flow is slower than prostate cancer.

Oooohhh. That's going into my insult repertoire.
 
2012-05-17 12:43:33 PM  
When I was 18 I would grow a full beard if I didn't shave every 15minutes. My voice also dropped a few octaves by the time I was 13.
 
2012-05-17 12:44:17 PM  
ihatepeacocks.com
Soon.
 
2012-05-17 12:50:57 PM  
I'm shocked at how much he looks like my nephew. My nephew is about the same height. He could seriously wrok as a double for Beiber is he wanted to.

I can't get a picture to upload, but picture Beiber with a military haircut and some BDU's and that's my nephew. No wonder the chicks go crazy for him, but he married a chick straight out of bootcamp because he got her pregnant.
 
2012-05-17 12:57:43 PM  
Swag swag swag on you / chillin' by the fire while we eatin' fondue.

Awesome. Just like Townshend.
 
2012-05-17 01:09:49 PM  

HST's Dead Carcass: I'm shocked at how much he looks like my nephew. My nephew is about the same height. He could seriously wrok as a double for Beiber is he wanted to.

I can't get a picture to upload, but picture Beiber with a military haircut and some BDU's and that's my nephew. No wonder the chicks go crazy for him, but he married a chick straight out of bootcamp because he got her pregnant.


Soon she'll turn into a land whale and suck the life out of him. I've seen it happen to entirely too many of my young friends.
 
2012-05-17 01:10:49 PM  

xanadian: Oh, so she's legal now.

HAVE AT 'ER, FARKERS


Yes, you can go for it now instead of just fantasizing about pounding his tight little man-vag. And isn't that Elvis the Twink look he's sporting now just perfection?
 
2012-05-17 01:10:56 PM  
There is no way around it: Justin Bieber is a very small human being. He's 18, but he could easily pass for someone six years younger. His rep says he's five feet nine, but he looks about four feet four, maybe one hundred pounds. I shake his hand, and it feels like there should be more hand there. I suddenly realize that I can't box this guy. I'm ten inches taller and a hundred pounds heavier. I ought to sit with him and read him Babar.

Chemical castration?
 
2012-05-17 01:11:08 PM  
i6.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-17 01:17:28 PM  

Wellon Dowd: You all laugh, but the Beebs gets to go to Lakers games and the Grammys and sit next to this,

[i.imgur.com image 600x545]
[i.imgur.com image 640x960]

then go home and cry over being too afraid to make a move on her while wrapping an electrical cord around his neck and masturbating.


Biebs must be a Scientologist.
 
2012-05-17 02:04:21 PM  

Walker: Pull your pants up son, before someone sticks a finger up there....or something bigger.
[img.photobucket.com image 532x700]




Are those whitey tighties?
 
2012-05-17 02:11:27 PM  

xanadian: Walker: Pull your pants up son, before someone sticks a finger up there....or something bigger.
[img.photobucket.com image 532x700]

*facepalm*

Whitest. Guy. EVER.


Oh no... not white!! That's terrible... the guy is practically Hitler.

Seriously... since when is being white something to be ashamed of?
 
2012-05-17 02:20:43 PM  
I don't think he will be as cool as Timberlake because he seems terminally DUMB, but I just love him anyways because he is beautiful.....and legal.
 
2012-05-17 02:41:10 PM  
How tall is he, like 5' 4"? It's a good thing he's got bank.
 
2012-05-17 03:36:07 PM  

Mishno: Everything I know about the Bieber I learned on FARK.

I have no idea of what he sounds like and I'm completely okay with that.


^^^ This. IDK how I've avoided hearing the Bieb, but I am grateful.
 
2012-05-17 03:41:05 PM  
"He'll be Pete Townshend in, like, two years," I say.

"Who?"


Well, at least he knows his rock history.
 
2012-05-17 03:51:42 PM  
I'm told this is the first time that Bieber has ever been alone with a reporter for a one-on-one interview, which is not true but still makes me feel like a pederast.

18-year-olds, dude.
 
2012-05-17 04:15:41 PM  

cherryl taggart: Walker: Pull your pants up son, before someone sticks a finger up there....or something bigger.
[img.photobucket.com image 532x700]

Are those whitey tighties?


White boxer briefs. He always wears boxer briefs. How do I know? Well I see them daily in paparazzi pictures.

i.dailymail.co.uk

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-05-17 04:26:17 PM  

elev8meL8r: "He'll be Pete Townshend in, like, two years," I say.

"Who?"

Well, at least he knows his rock history.


Ba dum bum bssh!

/the name of the band
//the band on stage!
///the name of the band on stage!!!
 
2012-05-17 06:31:15 PM  
That was a surprisingly good read. He might turn out okay if he ever escapes his handlers.
 
2012-05-17 09:21:21 PM  

Shakespeare's Monkey: [www.gq.com image 628x434]

Ha Ha Ha, WTF?


Looks like Arya from Game of Thrones.
 
2012-05-18 12:03:02 AM  
I just watched him in the 100th SNL Digital Short. Quite good, using his stereotype in that vid!
 
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