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(Kotaku)   If you are French, and your man is making more love to the new Diablo III game than you, you may be eligible for a free vibrator (Not safe for work pic of woman's second-best friend)   (kotaku.com) divider line 122
    More: Amusing, Diablo, sex shops  
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14420 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2012 at 11:09 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-17 01:22:16 PM

SweetSilverBlues: Estrogen, not just for hips and tits


Sadly this is too true. That's why I'm glad the guy at GNC never asks too many questions when I start looking for female weight loss alternatives. I figure the more things I throw at the problem, the greater odds of success! :)

SweetSilverBlues: Men are all about sex. Beg for it. Pay for it. Fark is one big shrine to the male sex drive.


You say this like it's a bad thing. I've never paid for it, and my sex drive is through the roof. Though I'm also a very selfless lover, if my lady doesn't get off at least twice each go then I did something wrong in my eyes. If you have the glorious ability of the multiple orgasm, then every sex session better make use of it ya know?

SweetSilverBlues: Women, for the most part, can take it or leave it.


hehehehehe you said take it.... hehehehehehe

SweetSilverBlues: Sadly, the feminist movement has delayed our plans somewhat, but eventually we'll get back to where men are doing all the heavy lifting.


Psh are you kidding? I finally get to sit on my ass, eat sammiches, drink beer, and play video games. All the while the wife is fixing the car, mowing the yard, doing the laundry, cleaning her natural habitat(the kitchen), making my sammiches, fetching my beer, and taking care of the dogs(no kids)!

Thank you feminists for showing women how much more work they should be doing! I believe I speak for men everywhere when I say it is, at times, greatly appreciated!
 
2012-05-17 01:30:39 PM

Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Estrogen, not just for hips and tits

Sadly this is too true. That's why I'm glad the guy at GNC never asks too many questions when I start looking for female weight loss alternatives. I figure the more things I throw at the problem, the greater odds of success! :)

SweetSilverBlues: Men are all about sex. Beg for it. Pay for it. Fark is one big shrine to the male sex drive.

You say this like it's a bad thing. I've never paid for it, and my sex drive is through the roof. Though I'm also a very selfless lover, if my lady doesn't get off at least twice each go then I did something wrong in my eyes. If you have the glorious ability of the multiple orgasm, then every sex session better make use of it ya know?

SweetSilverBlues: Women, for the most part, can take it or leave it.

hehehehehe you said take it.... hehehehehehe

SweetSilverBlues: Sadly, the feminist movement has delayed our plans somewhat, but eventually we'll get back to where men are doing all the heavy lifting.

Psh are you kidding? I finally get to sit on my ass, eat sammiches, drink beer, and play video games. All the while the wife is fixing the car, mowing the yard, doing the laundry, cleaning her natural habitat(the kitchen), making my sammiches, fetching my beer, and taking care of the dogs(no kids)!

Thank you feminists for showing women how much more work they should be doing! I believe I speak for men everywhere when I say it is, at times, greatly appreciated!


This made me giggle!

Wow, we've thread-jacked this right and proper, haven't we?
 
2012-05-17 01:32:40 PM
If he's playing Diablo 3, he's doing a lot more dry humping than love making.
 
2012-05-17 01:35:33 PM

SweetSilverBlues: Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Estrogen, not just for hips and tits

Sadly this is too true. That's why I'm glad the guy at GNC never asks too many questions when I start looking for female weight loss alternatives. I figure the more things I throw at the problem, the greater odds of success! :)

SweetSilverBlues: Men are all about sex. Beg for it. Pay for it. Fark is one big shrine to the male sex drive.

You say this like it's a bad thing. I've never paid for it, and my sex drive is through the roof. Though I'm also a very selfless lover, if my lady doesn't get off at least twice each go then I did something wrong in my eyes. If you have the glorious ability of the multiple orgasm, then every sex session better make use of it ya know?

SweetSilverBlues: Women, for the most part, can take it or leave it.

hehehehehe you said take it.... hehehehehehe

SweetSilverBlues: Sadly, the feminist movement has delayed our plans somewhat, but eventually we'll get back to where men are doing all the heavy lifting.

Psh are you kidding? I finally get to sit on my ass, eat sammiches, drink beer, and play video games. All the while the wife is fixing the car, mowing the yard, doing the laundry, cleaning her natural habitat(the kitchen), making my sammiches, fetching my beer, and taking care of the dogs(no kids)!

Thank you feminists for showing women how much more work they should be doing! I believe I speak for men everywhere when I say it is, at times, greatly appreciated!

This made me giggle!

Wow, we've thread-jacked this right and proper, haven't we?


That we have. And it's the best fark conversation I've had so far this week.

Thanks for the laughs :)

/green you are now.
 
2012-05-17 01:41:19 PM

Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Estrogen, not just for hips and tits

Sadly this is too true. That's why I'm glad the guy at GNC never asks too many questions when I start looking for female weight loss alternatives. I figure the more things I throw at the problem, the greater odds of success! :)

SweetSilverBlues: Men are all about sex. Beg for it. Pay for it. Fark is one big shrine to the male sex drive.

You say this like it's a bad thing. I've never paid for it, and my sex drive is through the roof. Though I'm also a very selfless lover, if my lady doesn't get off at least twice each go then I did something wrong in my eyes. If you have the glorious ability of the multiple orgasm, then every sex session better make use of it ya know?

SweetSilverBlues: Women, for the most part, can take it or leave it.

hehehehehe you said take it.... hehehehehehe

SweetSilverBlues: Sadly, the feminist movement has delayed our plans somewhat, but eventually we'll get back to where men are doing all the heavy lifting.

Psh are you kidding? I finally get to sit on my ass, eat sammiches, drink beer, and play video games. All the while the wife is fixing the car, mowing the yard, doing the laundry, cleaning her natural habitat(the kitchen), making my sammiches, fetching my beer, and taking care of the dogs(no kids)!

Thank you feminists for showing women how much more work they should be doing! I believe I speak for men everywhere when I say it is, at times, greatly appreciated!

This made me giggle!

Wow, we've thread-jacked this right and proper, haven't we?

That we have. And it's the best fark conversation I've had so far this week.

Thanks for the laughs :)

/green you are now.


And thank you, as well! Much funnage.

You're pink. Just cuz. ;)
 
2012-05-17 01:42:31 PM

SweetSilverBlues: Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Estrogen, not just for hips and tits

Sadly this is too true. That's why I'm glad the guy at GNC never asks too many questions when I start looking for female weight loss alternatives. I figure the more things I throw at the problem, the greater odds of success! :)

SweetSilverBlues: Men are all about sex. Beg for it. Pay for it. Fark is one big shrine to the male sex drive.

You say this like it's a bad thing. I've never paid for it, and my sex drive is through the roof. Though I'm also a very selfless lover, if my lady doesn't get off at least twice each go then I did something wrong in my eyes. If you have the glorious ability of the multiple orgasm, then every sex session better make use of it ya know?

SweetSilverBlues: Women, for the most part, can take it or leave it.

hehehehehe you said take it.... hehehehehehe

SweetSilverBlues: Sadly, the feminist movement has delayed our plans somewhat, but eventually we'll get back to where men are doing all the heavy lifting.

Psh are you kidding? I finally get to sit on my ass, eat sammiches, drink beer, and play video games. All the while the wife is fixing the car, mowing the yard, doing the laundry, cleaning her natural habitat(the kitchen), making my sammiches, fetching my beer, and taking care of the dogs(no kids)!

Thank you feminists for showing women how much more work they should be doing! I believe I speak for men everywhere when I say it is, at times, greatly appreciated!

This made me giggle!

Wow, we've thread-jacked this right and proper, haven't we?

That we have. And it's the best fark conversation I've had so far this week.

Thanks for the laughs :)

/green you are now.

And thank you, as well! Much funnage.

You're pink. Just cuz. ;)


Pink you say? rawwwrrr ;)

So on to a more thread related question.. kind of... maybe not.

The wife and I have 2 x-boxes, the TVs are in close proximity to each other, and we both love playing max payne. Fark I need to figure out the logistics of how we can get it on while both still playing Max Payne.

GO!
 
2012-05-17 01:44:13 PM

SweetSilverBlues: spentmiles: If I caught my wife with one of those, I would take me and my paycheck right out the door. I don't know or care how people are raised in France, but I was taught that masturbation is just the same as cheating when you are in a committed relationship. And people wonder why the love and love-making die in their marriage. If your molesting yourself once or twice a day, what impulse do you have to actually pursue your mate? I'm always amazed at how many sicko perverts are out there.

Oh, spent. That was terrible.

Are you felling well?


spent is sick over losing his tackle box.
 
2012-05-17 02:10:38 PM

Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Estrogen, not just for hips and tits

Sadly this is too true. That's why I'm glad the guy at GNC never asks too many questions when I start looking for female weight loss alternatives. I figure the more things I throw at the problem, the greater odds of success! :)

SweetSilverBlues: Men are all about sex. Beg for it. Pay for it. Fark is one big shrine to the male sex drive.

You say this like it's a bad thing. I've never paid for it, and my sex drive is through the roof. Though I'm also a very selfless lover, if my lady doesn't get off at least twice each go then I did something wrong in my eyes. If you have the glorious ability of the multiple orgasm, then every sex session better make use of it ya know?

SweetSilverBlues: Women, for the most part, can take it or leave it.

hehehehehe you said take it.... hehehehehehe

SweetSilverBlues: Sadly, the feminist movement has delayed our plans somewhat, but eventually we'll get back to where men are doing all the heavy lifting.

Psh are you kidding? I finally get to sit on my ass, eat sammiches, drink beer, and play video games. All the while the wife is fixing the car, mowing the yard, doing the laundry, cleaning her natural habitat(the kitchen), making my sammiches, fetching my beer, and taking care of the dogs(no kids)!

Thank you feminists for showing women how much more work they should be doing! I believe I speak for men everywhere when I say it is, at times, greatly appreciated!

This made me giggle!

Wow, we've thread-jacked this right and proper, haven't we?

That we have. And it's the best fark conversation I've had so far this week.

Thanks for the laughs :)

/green you are now.

And thank you, as well! Much funnage.

You're pink. Just cuz. ;)

Pink you say? rawwwrrr ;)

So on to a more thread related question.. kind of... maybe not.

The wife and I have 2 x-boxes, the TVs are in close proximity to each other, and we both love playing max payne. Fark I need to figure out the logistics of how we can get it on while both still playing Max Payne.

GO!


Materials:

Two wall mounts
Table large enough for two consoles
Sammich fixings

Optional: Wireless headphones

Directions:

- Make sammiches. Set next to bed.

- Mount both television sets on the wall facing your bed

- Hook-up the consoles, televisions, etc.

- Start desired game

- Optional: don wireless headsets

- Get jiggy in whatever position allows you both full sight of the televisions and use of both hands

- Eat sammiches.
 
2012-05-17 02:14:41 PM

SweetSilverBlues: Materials:

Two wall mounts
Table large enough for two consoles
Sammich fixings

Optional: Wireless headphones

Directions:

- Make sammiches. Set next to bed.

- Mount both television sets on the wall facing your bed

- Hook-up the consoles, televisions, etc.

- Start desired game

- Optional: don wireless headsets

- Get jiggy in whatever position allows you both full sight of the televisions and use of both hands

- Eat sammiches.


There's a reason I greened you with the title Awesome Chick, and you just proved it.

I'm thinking we'll need a shiatload of pillows too. There's only one position I can see that would allow her to play as comfortably as one can play whilst taking it. And it would require pillows as she can't prop herself up with her arms if her hands are on the controller.

I love the inclusion of sammich fixings as well. Which reminds me... I need to text her and tell her to buy more prosciutto.
 
2012-05-17 02:33:09 PM

Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Materials:

Two wall mounts
Table large enough for two consoles
Sammich fixings

Optional: Wireless headphones

Directions:

- Make sammiches. Set next to bed.

- Mount both television sets on the wall facing your bed

- Hook-up the consoles, televisions, etc.

- Start desired game

- Optional: don wireless headsets

- Get jiggy in whatever position allows you both full sight of the televisions and use of both hands

- Eat sammiches.

There's a reason I greened you with the title Awesome Chick, and you just proved it.

I'm thinking we'll need a shiatload of pillows too. There's only one position I can see that would allow her to play as comfortably as one can play whilst taking it. And it would require pillows as she can't prop herself up with her arms if her hands are on the controller.

I love the inclusion of sammich fixings as well. Which reminds me... I need to text her and tell her to buy more prosciutto.


We have a little footstool that would work. Think outside the box!

;)

And thank you! You're "Dude with a Great Sense of Humor!"

That's a high and rare compliment from me. :)
 
2012-05-17 02:34:26 PM

sweet-daddy-2: SweetSilverBlues: spentmiles: If I caught my wife with one of those, I would take me and my paycheck right out the door. I don't know or care how people are raised in France, but I was taught that masturbation is just the same as cheating when you are in a committed relationship. And people wonder why the love and love-making die in their marriage. If your molesting yourself once or twice a day, what impulse do you have to actually pursue your mate? I'm always amazed at how many sicko perverts are out there.

Oh, spent. That was terrible.

Are you felling well?

spent is sick over losing his tackle box.


Oh dear! I don't know the reference.

Off to Search I go.
 
2012-05-17 02:37:38 PM

SweetSilverBlues: We have a little footstool that would work. Think outside the box!

;)


Sadly we lack a good footstool. We do have an ikea coffee table that is the correct height though.

*strokes non-existent goatee*

hmmmmmm...

SweetSilverBlues: "Dude with a Great Sense of Humor!"


Sense of humor? Usually I get filed under misogynistic jackass trollbait! Hooray for breaking the mold woo woo!!
 
2012-05-17 02:43:38 PM

Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: We have a little footstool that would work. Think outside the box!

;)

Sadly we lack a good footstool. We do have an ikea coffee table that is the correct height though.

*strokes non-existent goatee*

hmmmmmm...

SweetSilverBlues: "Dude with a Great Sense of Humor!"

Sense of humor? Usually I get filed under misogynistic jackass trollbait! Hooray for breaking the mold woo woo!!


Well, you are misogynistic jackass trollbait, but you have a great sense of humor.

*runs away, giggling*
 
2012-05-17 02:46:12 PM

SweetSilverBlues: Well, you are misogynistic jackass trollbait, but you have a great sense of humor.

*runs away, giggling*


As long as you're running away to the kitchen you can call me whatever you like ;)
 
2012-05-17 04:37:32 PM
This thread is awesome. Well done, everyone
 
2012-05-17 05:54:56 PM
Surprised no comments on the best line of the article:

The sex toy merchant will then transmit a voucher code for a "small vibrator," (akin to a crude javelin or simple dagger, I suppose, resale value 2 gold).

That had me chuckling.
 
2012-05-17 06:37:26 PM

Strategeryz0r: Protip for women: If your man has more desire to play Diablo 3 than fark you...


Lose some weight.




I lol'd
 
2012-05-17 08:20:55 PM

schattenteufel: I don't get all the hype over Diablo III. Just another stupid video game.
a pretty young woman's vagina, on the other hand, is much more fun.


Right, but we're talking about an unkempt, chain-smoking, French vagina. It's for (and of) a whole different taste.
 
2012-05-18 02:04:59 AM

Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: Strategeryz0r: SweetSilverBlues: rogue_L_chick: inner ted: Strategeryz0r: Protip for women: If your man has more desire to play Diablo 3 than fark you...


Lose some weight.

*snert*

So, we ladies can reasonably assume that if we are:

-not obese while at the same time not child-frightening ugly
-holding a delicious sammich in one hand and a cold beer in the other
-standing naked and is giving explicit descriptions of what she is planning to do to make your penis happy

...and no animalistic throwdown takes place, then can we assume your flaccid genetalia is not our fault??

/just kidding, of course it's my fault I'm not getting laid. I'll go make a farking sammich I CAN'T EAT and think on it some more.
//you think you guys get pissy when not getting laid, you have no farking idea.

Honey, don't get offended. This is Fark. Consider the source. ;)

This is fark, and trolling women with blatant misogyny is like fishing with dynamite.

It's just so easy.

I suppose. I think it's hilarious.

I know the truth. Men and women are not truly equal.

Women are better.

Eh. I'll take not having to stop drinking or doing other things for 9 months to push out a baby and bleeding for 5 days at a time once a month over being a woman any day.

Plus you ladies have no idea how awesome it is to have a dedicated sammich maker/beer fetcher. I just need to train my wife to feed me grapes off the vine like I'm farking Caesar.

See? The plan is working.

You don't think it's just ham and cheese in those sammiches, do you?

Eep, I'm giving away the master plan!

And you think that's just coffee I give you in the morning? Your ass got so big I had to start spiking it with phentermine and plan B(just in case!).


I laughed, and then shook my head. I then re-read your last sentence, thought about it some, and wondered why the fark you weren't a millionaire.

Welcome to my favorites list sir.
 
2012-05-18 03:33:27 AM

SweetSilverBlues: honk: SweetSilverBlues: Pfft. The Diablo III game is mine. Hubby has Mr. Righty and Mr. Lefty.

If I were hubby, I'd let you keep playing from the dining room table while you're bent over it. We both score.

OMG that is an AWESOME idea!!!!!

Will broach it with hubby.

He's stuck making his own sammich afterwards, though.



I need to find me a woman like you! Know any around Ottawa? ;)
 
2012-05-18 04:22:13 AM

SweetSilverBlues: Two wall mounts


OK, time to sleep. My brain interpreted that as, "Two wall-mounted dildos" ....
 
2012-05-18 09:51:46 AM

fmk040: I laughed, and then shook my head. I then re-read your last sentence, thought about it some, and wondered why the fark you weren't a millionaire.

Welcome to my favorites list sir.


I'll gladly take donations for the idea :). I accept cash and paypal, no checks please.
 
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