Serious Black: This should automatically be posted on the top of every Fark thread where somebody makes an argument that America is a Christian nation:

[nhne-pulse.org image 640x429]

fark that font forever

My favorite verse is at the crucifixion, when Jesus says, "Father, things aren't working out down here, can I have a job in upper management at your firm?"

I found the correct scripture he was looking for

From the book of Navin Chapter 1 verse 12
"The lord loves a working man, don't trust whitey, see a Dr. get it taken care of"

swaniefrmreddeer: So when jebus feed 5000 people with 5 loaves of bread and a few fish, the bible left out the, "Go get your own goddamned food, you lazy f*cks", part?

There were centuries of conflict about the scriptures of Jesus. The truth is much more interesting. For example, did you know:

- John the Baptist did not baptize Jesus. Jesus was at a spa and John the Baptist was giving him a foot massage after a long day laying off people at a factory that made crucifixes. The irony was not lost on Jesus when they finally tracked him down and crucified him.

- Jesus did not turn water into wine. His grape operations were extensive, and it was a process that required 400 employees working overtime and at low wages. However his wines were without question the jewel of the region.

- Jesus actually spent 40 days and 40 nights at the Ritz Carlton in Lebanon, which was where he held his board of director meetings.

- Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute. She was his secretary. She oversaw many of his holdings in Jerusalem and Nazareth, but occasionally she gave him a BJ under the table. She was not worthy to kiss his sandals but she did it anyway when he told her to.

- His death at the hands of Pontius Pilate was the result of unions which demanded better compensation.

Anenu: Remember folks when the bible says something meaningless that you can say supports your views claim your doing god's work but when it directly contradicts your corporate overlords desires you can completely ignore it, just like god intended.

I'm getting tired of explaining this.

Your corporate overlords, as you call them, are superior beings. Their wealth and power is the clearest evidence of God's grace. They are chosen. You defer to them in your earthly doings. This is why unions are evil - the work of Satan. They are there to usurp the authority of God's chosen leaders.

Poverty, similarly, is evidence of one's moral failings.

God was like, "Give a man a fish, he'll become a welfare queen. Teach a man to fish, waste of time, why doesn't he teach himself?"

Serious Black: Does this font work better for you?

YESSSSSSSS

Just out of curiosity, does anyone have a dollar amount for the 8% of its funding MOW gets from the federal gov't? I want to know just how much it's going to contribute to the goal of reducing spending.

sweetmelissa31: God was like, "Give a man a fish, he'll become a welfare queen. Teach a man to fish, waste of time, why doesn't he teach himself?"

And yea, I say unto you, blessed is the man who pulls himself up by his own fishing pole.

skullkrusher: "So Bashir quoted scripture to make his case against the Repubicans' policy"

how about we leave scripture out of it? Ya know, being a secular country and whatnot

Just because a huge mythology has sprung up around him does not mean that quotes attributed to Jesus about social justice and peace should be disregarded. I am not a Hindu but I think Gandhi had much to teach the world as well. As did Buddha etc.

Let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater.