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(Gizmodo)   Height, weight, size, girth, tight, skinny, tan, rich, petite, jacked, strong, confident, go-getter, blast at parties, awesome fashion sense, musically adept, great cook, great in bed, etc, etc   (gizmodo.com) divider line 296
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26767 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2012 at 4:46 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-16 01:59:15 PM
But we're all precious snowflakes.. right?

/right?
 
2012-05-16 02:34:44 PM
Eh, I was around 99% honest on my dating profile. Worked for me.
 
2012-05-16 02:45:29 PM
"Not a serial rapist" has gotten good responses for me.
 
2012-05-16 03:20:09 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: "Not a serial rapist" has gotten good responses for me.


Casual rapist?
 
2012-05-16 03:25:14 PM
The only people really into jazz are old black men

I like jazz and I realize that I'm fairly alone in this, because whenever I put it on everyone starts complaining immediately, especially if there is no singer. At least people my age.
 
2012-05-16 03:27:00 PM

Quasar: Eh, I was around 99% honest on my dating profile. Worked for me.


Me too. I think one of the best parts was that my pics were apparently not that great, so she was pleasantly surprised when I showed up.
 
2012-05-16 03:36:02 PM
The only people really into jazz are old black men

Say what now? Ever been to New Orleans or New York City?
 
2012-05-16 03:43:49 PM
The most important thing about online dating is being honest about the weight and girth of your pets
 
2012-05-16 04:04:40 PM

Jackson Herring: The most important thing about online dating is being honest about the weight and girth of your pets


Oh, that too. With my crappy pics it turned out the only reason she agreed to go out with me was because a coworker was looking over her shoulder and saw a pic of my dog. "Anyone with a dog like that has to be cool."

Yeah, yeah, CSB. Though I think it's more appropriate here than most threads.

www.majhost.com
 
2012-05-16 04:09:07 PM
Are these the lyrics to the new Daft Punk single?
 
2012-05-16 04:40:14 PM

timujin: Jackson Herring: The most important thing about online dating is being honest about the weight and girth of your pets

Oh, that too. With my crappy pics it turned out the only reason she agreed to go out with me was because a coworker was looking over her shoulder and saw a pic of my dog. "Anyone with a dog like that has to be cool."

Yeah, yeah, CSB. Though I think it's more appropriate here than most threads.

[www.majhost.com image 434x353]


Typical MySpace dog angle.... that mutt probably weighs 120lbs
 
2012-05-16 04:48:44 PM

Jackson Herring: timujin: Jackson Herring: The most important thing about online dating is being honest about the weight and girth of your pets

Oh, that too. With my crappy pics it turned out the only reason she agreed to go out with me was because a coworker was looking over her shoulder and saw a pic of my dog. "Anyone with a dog like that has to be cool."

Yeah, yeah, CSB. Though I think it's more appropriate here than most threads.

[www.majhost.com image 434x353]

Typical MySpace dog angle.... that mutt probably weighs 120lbs


Hey, he's just big boned.

/55lbs. When I found him he was about 6 weeks old and the vet said he'd probably be 18-20lbs full grown...
 
2012-05-16 04:53:23 PM
WTF is "jacked" and why is it a bragging point?
 
2012-05-16 04:53:33 PM
my body type is athletic
upload.wikimedia.org
www.gamerdna.com


What you think you are getting:
pyournutrition.com

What you really get:
www.avenue-charmyrose.com
 
2012-05-16 04:54:25 PM
I was thinking of setting up a dating profile for myself since I've never done it before. I was going to buck the trend of lying and go with honesty something to the effect of:

"Neurotic Asian man of average height seeks your love (or tolerance). Does not enjoy long walks on the beach because he hates sand getting in his shoes. Decidedly antipathic towards sports, but will talk shiat about the Yankees and Phillies if prompted. Has a poor fashion sense in need of improvement by motivated individuals. Musically inadept, but will play the harmonica if implored. Have set self on fire accidentally while cooking before. Not particularly tanned, slightly overweight, stands out awkwardly at parties due, in combination or separately, to his unusual dress sense and his tendency to talk about body augmentation if cornered. Slightly overweight. Sometimes dresses like Batman."
 
2012-05-16 04:55:57 PM

The Silver Mullet: WTF is "jacked" and why is it a bragging point?


Jacked. You know, swole. Shredded. Ripped. Completely in tatters basically.
 
2012-05-16 04:57:10 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: "Not a serial rapist" has gotten good responses for me.

Casual rapist?


Parallel rapist. C'mon man....
 
2012-05-16 04:58:01 PM
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-05-16 04:59:26 PM
shiat! It's just like me to go and be honest on my OKCupid profile. I always do it wrong.
 
2012-05-16 04:59:53 PM

SnakeLee: I like jazz and I realize that I'm fairly alone in this, because whenever I put it on everyone starts complaining immediately, especially if there is no singer. At least people my age.


i like jazz but i honestly don't know much about it. but after 9pm one of the local NPR stations plays it and i enjoy listening to whatever they play
 
2012-05-16 05:00:11 PM

Quasar: Eh, I was around 99% honest on my dating profile. Worked for me.


Me, too. I wanted a girl to like me for who I was. Found a number of them, married the best.
 
2012-05-16 05:00:48 PM
And what just the hell is the matter with eating peanut butter right out of the jar with chocolate Teddy Grahams while watching Real Sex reruns at 2 AM?
 
2012-05-16 05:01:11 PM
Back when I was doing this, I arranged a meeting with a guy who told me he was 40 and sent photos of himself. Apparently, those photos were taken IN the 40s.

Couldn't figure out why someone would lie about something so incredibly obvious.

Gents, don't lie about your age or your height. The women who don't care about such things definitely care about someone lying to them from the word hello.

And, good luck, single farkers. The last man I met online, I married. Yes, it can happen.
 
2012-05-16 05:01:28 PM

The Jami Turman Fan Club: ecmoRandomNumbers: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: "Not a serial rapist" has gotten good responses for me.

Casual rapist?

Parallel rapist. C'mon man....


rapist of opportunity
 
2012-05-16 05:02:33 PM
Anyone who says they love sex on the beach is completely full of shiat. It sucks and sand makes a shiatty lubricant



/perhaps not relevent
 
2012-05-16 05:02:38 PM
WRT height: use your height bare-footed, or in normal shoes?
 
2012-05-16 05:02:38 PM
I am a good cook!

But I will never, ever list "blast at parties" unless you mean a LAN party and... hey, why are you clicking away from my profile? :(
 
2012-05-16 05:02:49 PM
My online dating profile consists of almost complete BS in an attempt to be funny. It works for some women, but I'm sure other women look at it and say "That guy isn't serious about dating at all!" which isn't a lie.

What I hear most when I meet someone is the following:

"Hey, you're actually 6'1"! That's refreshing."

Apparently a LOT of guys lie about they're height, which is odd because it's not like you're going to get away with that lie.
 
2012-05-16 05:03:25 PM
lh6.googleusercontent.com

This guy, however ...

s3-ec.buzzfed.com

27.media.tumblr.com

oblig
 
2012-05-16 05:05:06 PM

SnakeLee: The only people really into jazz are old black men

I like jazz and I realize that I'm fairly alone in this, because whenever I put it on everyone starts complaining immediately, especially if there is no singer. At least people my age.


I like jazz. but, if I were ever to reveal that I liked jazz on a dating site, i would probably qualify it by dropping some names, like my favorite song of all time is clifford brown playing delilah with max roach... but, my favorite artist is theolonous monk. but, then I'd look like a dweeb.

I play jazz at most parties. I'm 30, and no one seems to mind. of course, i have many musicians as friends and live in new orleans, where everyone has a little bit of jazz knowledge in their brains.
 
2012-05-16 05:05:30 PM

phenn: Back when I was doing this, I arranged a meeting with a guy who told me he was 40 and sent photos of himself. Apparently, those photos were taken IN the 40s.

Couldn't figure out why someone would lie about something so incredibly obvious.

Gents, don't lie about your age or your height. The women who don't care about such things definitely care about someone lying to them from the word hello.

And, good luck, single farkers. The last man I met online, I married. Yes, it can happen.



I would never have guessed age and height ... weight I can see.
 
2012-05-16 05:05:35 PM
My penis is musically adept, and is a great cook as well.
Terrible fashion sense, tho.
 
2012-05-16 05:05:36 PM

doubled99: Anyone who says they love sex on the beach is completely full of shiat. It sucks and sand makes a shiatty lubricant

/perhaps not relevent


Pft, amateur. You have to use things ON the beach - bench, boat, police car if you're in Daytona, towel otherwise.
 
2012-05-16 05:05:46 PM
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-05-16 05:06:30 PM
Gym, 26 minutes, etc.
 
2012-05-16 05:07:07 PM

joyride75: My online dating profile consists of almost complete BS in an attempt to be funny. It works for some women, but I'm sure other women look at it and say "That guy isn't serious about dating at all!" which isn't a lie.

What I hear most when I meet someone is the following:

"Hey, you're actually 6'1"! That's refreshing."

Apparently a LOT of guys lie about they're height, which is odd because it's not like you're going to get away with that lie.


Like 6'1" is uncommon?
 
2012-05-16 05:07:13 PM

The Jami Turman Fan Club: ecmoRandomNumbers: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: "Not a serial rapist" has gotten good responses for me.

Casual rapist?

Parallel rapist. C'mon man....


Could also be a scuzzy rapist.
 
2012-05-16 05:07:23 PM
Never lied.
Didn't want to waste anyone's time.
You either liked me, for me...or not.

Met my wife on one. She didn't lie either.


Although I did meet quite a few that did lie before her.
 
2012-05-16 05:08:02 PM

RexTalionis: I was thinking of setting up a dating profile for myself since I've never done it before. I was going to buck the trend of lying and go with honesty something to the effect of:

"Neurotic Asian man of average height seeks your love (or tolerance). Does not enjoy long walks on the beach because he hates sand getting in his shoes. Decidedly antipathic towards sports, but will talk shiat about the Yankees and Phillies if prompted. Has a poor fashion sense in need of improvement by motivated individuals. Musically inadept, but will play the harmonica if implored. Have set self on fire accidentally while cooking before. Not particularly tanned, slightly overweight, stands out awkwardly at parties due, in combination or separately, to his unusual dress sense and his tendency to talk about body augmentation if cornered. Slightly overweight. Sometimes dresses like Batman."


How YOU doin'?

wait, what?
 
2012-05-16 05:08:08 PM

SnakeLee: I like jazz and I realize that I'm fairly alone in this, because whenever I put it on everyone starts complaining immediately, especially if there is no singer. At least people my age.


Jazz, like Classical, I can really enjoy for about 15 minutes. Then I get really sick of it.
 
2012-05-16 05:08:48 PM
Musically adept? You mean people actually admit to being musicians on dating sites? I always figured calling yourself a "musician" might attract girls from the under 22 crowd, but after that.. Well, musician tends to be the same as "unemployed".

Used to know a guy, in his 30s, would play his guitar all day at a coffee shop in order to attract 16 year old girls. He even would tell everyone his name was "Legend".
 
2012-05-16 05:08:57 PM

MoronLessOff: Like 6'1" is uncommon?


No, that they've run into many men that say they're 6'1"(or whatever height), but are at most, 5'9".
 
2012-05-16 05:09:23 PM

rogue49: Never lied.
Didn't want to waste anyone's time.
You either liked me, for me...or not.

Met my wife on one. She didn't lie either.


Although I did meet quite a few that did lie before her.


This, exactly. just be honest.
 
2012-05-16 05:10:15 PM
the thing is, women expect a certain amount of lies.
The truth you tell is discounted as if it were a lie.
for example, when i was in college, every part time, about to be kicked out because he can't pass Math 096, dipshiat told the girls he was "pre med".

Now, every girl knew that these guys would end washing cars at Dad's dealership, and so they discounted their stories appropriately.

Thus when I would say "CS" they knew right away that I was a loser that didn't have any rich family members.
 
2012-05-16 05:12:36 PM

rogue49: Never lied.
Didn't want to waste anyone's time.
You either liked me, for me...or not.

Met my wife on one. She didn't lie either.


Although I did meet quite a few that did lie before her.


Did you hate-fark them for it?
 
2012-05-16 05:12:40 PM
I have never understood why people lie on their dating profiles about things that will be obvious once you meet the person in real life. As a fat chick I was particularly sensitive about this, so I made a point to spell this out in my profile, not just in writing but by taking a full torso photo of myself 10 minutes before I posted the photo to my profile. What the hell am I going to do with a guy who prefers thin women, and what does he want with me? The answer is nothing. I want a man who either has no preference, or prefers a large woman - someone who is interested in ME as I am. Being honest about my weight didn't stop me from getting dates or getting laid for that matter. Just be honest.

Guys lie about their height a lot. Apparently chicks don't like short guys.
 
2012-05-16 05:14:54 PM
I spent about 3 months on both Match and OKCupid, sent probably 50 e-mails, didn't get a single response back. At that point I finished school and decided to go to Europe as a graduation present to myself instead of wallowing away in miserable single self-pity. In 6 weeks overseas had dates with 3 different girls with whom I had more in common than I did with any girls whose profiles I read.

Moral of the story: people who do online dating are A) too picky and B) not as cool as people you meet in bars/hostels/places-where-people-actually-similar-to-you-hang-out anyway. Because they're sitting on a computer waiting for something to happen to them as opposed to getting out, living their life and letting dates come as they may.
 
2012-05-16 05:15:06 PM
Damnit - I should have lied on my OKcupid profile. That way I wouldn't be engaged to the future Mrs. Urger through that site.

Oh wait.
 
2012-05-16 05:15:31 PM
Just Put "I am rich", will get you laid until she finds out.
www.fugly.com
 
2012-05-16 05:16:01 PM
I just ignore the prompts and write random stories.

Also, I have a topless photo of when I weighed 50 lbs more than I do now.

I may not be doing this right.
 
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