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(Grantland)   Wherein Tom Cruise demands a monkey   (grantland.com) divider line 23
    More: Weird, Tom Cruise, Paul Thomas Anderson, Vanilla Sky, Criss Angel, Risky Business, Italian fashion, Marilyn Manson, Stacee Jaxx  
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3351 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 May 2012 at 2:14 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



23 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-16 02:26:04 PM  
You would think a sex dwarf would be cheaper.
 
2012-05-16 02:30:25 PM  
He appears in character on the magazine's cover with long extensions, draped in models and covered in tattoos.


Occasionally, A-listers with ungodly egos can get a bit too far into character, blurring the lines between reality and fiction in such a way that their fanbase doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Respectfully,

Chris Gaines
 
2012-05-16 02:40:53 PM  
i87.photobucket.com

Does he touch the monkey?

TOUCH HIM!!
 
2012-05-16 02:41:41 PM  
cdn.screenrant.com
 
2012-05-16 02:53:16 PM  
Agree with TFA that he was awesome in Magnolia.
 
2012-05-16 02:54:37 PM  
gucciwolf.com
My imaginary wife says we are so there.
 
2012-05-16 02:56:08 PM  
I am annoyed and ashamed with myself...i find long haired, tattooed and leather wearing Tom Cruise sexy. Those pictures in W are kinda hot. Dammitall.
 
2012-05-16 03:10:13 PM  

HKWolf: I am annoyed and ashamed with myself...i find long haired, tattooed and leather wearing Tom Cruise sexy. Those pictures in W are kinda hot. Dammitall.


The dude's fifty and can pass for 30. I guess being completely batshiat crazy keeps you young. (shrug)

/admittedly he was really funny in Tropic Thunder
 
2012-05-16 07:27:32 PM  
He's just one theme park away from being the next Michael Jackson. From there it's a downhill spiral of kiddy-diddling and major facial reconstructions.
 
2012-05-16 09:04:12 PM  
Show me the monkey!
 
2012-05-16 09:14:08 PM  
Molly, honey, he's not going to fark you no matter hard you suck his balls.

Admire?

Hardly.
 
2012-05-16 10:05:58 PM  
The little thetan's performance in Collateral was amazing.
 
2012-05-16 11:08:47 PM  
Where is burd?
 
2012-05-16 11:32:43 PM  
I thought this movie looked pretty entertaining.. until I saw that he was in it.
No, no I cannot imagine him as a rocker. I will not.

Go away little, weird man.
 
2012-05-17 12:33:46 AM  

DWitchiewoman: I thought this movie looked pretty entertaining.. until I saw that he was in it.
No, no I cannot imagine him as a rocker. I will not.

Go away little, weird man.


Ok, I'm just as much a Cruise hater as anyone but he's not that little. Granted I'm only 5'7" myself but..Anyway, a long time ago i went to the LA Colosseum to see Springsteen on the Born In The USA tour and I walked up the tunnel with Cruise.This must have beeen when they were filming Top Gun 'cause he was sporting the shades and the bomber jacket. I chatted with him for a second and he is at least an inch but more like 2 taller than I am. Anyway, I was stoked that I actually had better seats than he did, but my triumph was cut brutally short when every single girl in the place swarmed him for an autograph.
 
2012-05-17 02:18:24 AM  
W magazine is still around?
 
2012-05-17 04:16:29 AM  

DWitchiewoman: I thought this movie looked pretty entertaining.. until I saw that he was in it.
No, no I cannot imagine him as a rocker. I will not.

Go away little, weird man.


Couldn't disagree more. This movie looked shiat, until I saw he was in it. Tom Cruise is the last real movie star we've got. He always gives everything he's got to every performance. Go to IMDB and check his CV. A lot of win. I'll watch anything he's in.

/Apart from Knight & Day. That looked shiat.
 
2012-05-17 06:04:42 AM  

Hyatus: He's just one theme park away from being the next Michael Jackson. From there it's a downhill spiral of kiddy-diddling and major facial reconstructions.


Speaking of major facial reconstructions, I know the real thrust of your joke, but still Tommy Girl has had it... his surgeons do great work, though. And it's not like Tom Cruise has to worry as much about looking a certain ethnic way, for greatest mass appeal, as MJ did. If Tom Cruise was required to look stereotypically Javan, or stereotypically Togan, to succeed... yeah, problem. But the surgery he has had works for him. He got lucky.

/MJ never diddled any kids
//MJ left the JWs to become a muslim, right?
///what would Tom leave the Scientologists for?
 
2012-05-17 08:12:15 AM  
"Let's get down to brass tacks, man. How much for the ape?"

t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-05-17 09:27:07 AM  
Jonny17:

Knight & Day sucked. He has some good flicks, that I will not deny. I just can't stand him anymore.

drewogatory :
He wears lifts on his shoes. I don't believe he is 5'7" without them. I don't care what his agent/publicist puts out there. I know he is considered some kind of heartthrob to some, but not to me. Beady eyes, pointy nose, weirdo scientologist is not hot to me.
 
2012-05-17 09:55:46 AM  
Haven't you always wanted a mon-KEY?!?

/If I had a million dollars.../
 
2012-05-17 10:24:44 AM  
Mr. Mapother will always get a pass from me for he is the man who uttered the legendary line,

"Slider... *sniff*... you stink."
 
2012-05-17 10:26:44 AM  
I dunno, maybe it's the Thetans talking but even though he's been in some shiatty movies, you can't accuse Tom of ever phoning it in. And he gets a pass for Collateral alone.
 
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