FARK.com: (7107355) Martha, fetch the shotgun: The trombonists are swarming

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		Martha, fetch the shotgun: The trombonists are swarming (washingtonpost.com)		40
		More: Strange, Nationals Park, signature song, shotguns, raise awareness

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4228 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2012 at 5:05 PM | Favorite | share:

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gopher321		2012-05-15 04:28:59 PM

That's a lot of "The Saints Go Marching In".

Joelogon		2012-05-15 04:58:29 PM

*sad trombone* x 500

/stubmitter
//Trombone

J. Frank Parnell		2012-05-15 05:07:42 PM

"A hoard of 500 trombone players"

Are any English classes required for journalism degrees?

Hector Remarkable		2012-05-15 05:09:06 PM

Am I the only one who first read that as "Martha, felch the shotgun"?

theorellior		2012-05-15 05:09:23 PM

This looks more like people have been stockpiling trombonists against future shortages.

Amper		2012-05-15 05:11:27 PM

...do you find something funny about the word Tromboner?

airsupport		2012-05-15 05:12:28 PM

Wahhh waaah waaaah waaaahhh.

dj_spanmaster		2012-05-15 05:13:28 PM

True story: The 'Bones of the '97 FSU Marching Chiefs would walk around the stadium playing group favorites (typically classic rock) during the third quarter of football games, and if we got heckled we'd surround the group and play "Carry on My Wayward Son" as loud as possible. While we didn't number 500, the sound could get pretty loud in the concrete enclosure.

J. Frank Parnell: "A hoard of 500 trombone players"

Are any English classes required for journalism degrees?

No.

Mr. Potatoass		2012-05-15 05:14:46 PM

They should bring in Rusty Staub to be an honorary conductor.

mojo_the_helper_monkey		2012-05-15 05:15:21 PM

I wish I could have made it to this, buy the Swing Band I'm in has a performance that night an hour from the stadium :(

cgraves67		2012-05-15 05:15:49 PM

You can listen to 76 trombones 6.5789473684210526315789473684211 times.

ox45tallboy		2012-05-15 05:15:56 PM

Damn, the Natinals will try anything this season to keep the Braves down.

/but we shall not be denied!

Taima		2012-05-15 05:17:41 PM

Hector Remarkable: Am I the only one who first read that as "Martha, felch the shotgun"?

No, you'e not.

Sgt Oddball		2012-05-15 05:23:46 PM

If that headline's not a caption to a Far Side cartoon, it should be.

JonnyBGoode		2012-05-15 06:09:01 PM

That's a mammoth undertaking.

/Tusk, tusk, tusk.

Isildur		2012-05-15 06:11:02 PM

Sgt Oddball: If that headline's not a caption to a Far Side cartoon, it should be.

Yeah, I don't remember such a panel specifically, but my immediate assumption was that it was a Far Side quote, or at least a paraphrase.

Joelogon, I assume that's what you were going for?

itsfullofstars		2012-05-15 06:17:19 PM

J. Frank Parnell: "A hoard of 500 trombone players"

Are any English classes required for journalism degrees?

This particular "journalist" runs fast and loose with English:

largest all-trombone orchestra.

or·ches·tra - noun - a group of performers on various musical instruments,

Isildur		2012-05-15 06:18:52 PM

JonnyBGoode: That's a mammoth undertaking.

/Tusk, tusk, tusk.

The tusk pun was painful, but I'll let it slide, because I don't mean to be abrassive.

/I don't get the pachyderm connection.

Isildur		2012-05-15 06:21:17 PM

Obergruppenfarker		2012-05-15 06:21:49 PM

time to lube up the slide on the bone again.

/haven't used since high school
//sad, I know

kenny's mom		2012-05-15 06:26:07 PM

Looks like another misdirected effort by low brass players:

"wanting to set a record" = AH

"want to raise awareness about music education in the Washington, DC area": Ticket prices range from $10 to $325. If the 500 trombonists would just stay home, but pool the cost of their tickets (transportation, stadium food, souvenirs), it'd be a nice five-figure donation to the DC schools--and the publicity would create plenty of "awareness."

/OK, rant off...but please note that the last time a prominent popular song featured "trombone" in its title was in 1957.

JonnyBGoode		2012-05-15 06:27:01 PM

Isildur: JonnyBGoode: That's a mammoth undertaking.

/Tusk, tusk, tusk.

The tusk pun was painful, but I'll let it slide, because I don't mean to be abrassive.

/I don't get the pachyderm connection.

First thing I thought of when I thought of a large trombone band was Tusk. And mammoth also means large, hence the (admittedly tenuous) connection.

TheDirtyNacho		2012-05-15 06:41:36 PM

/tromboner

Gravitholus		2012-05-15 06:45:00 PM

Trombones > Vuvuzela

Gyrfalcon		2012-05-15 06:49:46 PM

I think there's time to call those guys who were stealing all the tubas and pay them extra for the trombones.

Joelogon		2012-05-15 06:56:34 PM

Isildur: Sgt Oddball: If that headline's not a caption to a Far Side cartoon, it should be.

Yeah, I don't remember such a panel specifically, but my immediate assumption was that it was a Far Side quote, or at least a paraphrase.

Joelogon, I assume that's what you were going for?

Pretty much -- it sounds like it fits the formula for a Far Side punchline from back in the day, though I didn't recall exactly what the context was.

musicmanboston		2012-05-15 07:24:14 PM

why do trombonists make the best lovers?

because they can do it in 7 positions.

/badoomchik

//as a trombonist, i am dissatisfied with the number of trombone jokes in this thread

Nately's Whore		2012-05-15 07:27:45 PM

I never met a trombone player who wasn't a goofy pervert.

/played trombone for 10 years

Kazoni		2012-05-15 07:36:16 PM

Nately's Whore: I never met a trombone player who wasn't a goofy pervert.

/played trombone for 10 years

We try very hard. (huh huh...hard)

//17 years on the bone

JonnyBGoode		2012-05-15 07:57:47 PM

So, this one time at Band Camp...

Woodstock_the_Mighty		2012-05-15 08:00:08 PM

toraque		2012-05-15 08:00:20 PM

Joelogon: Isildur: Sgt Oddball: If that headline's not a caption to a Far Side cartoon, it should be.

Yeah, I don't remember such a panel specifically, but my immediate assumption was that it was a Far Side quote, or at least a paraphrase.

Joelogon, I assume that's what you were going for?

Pretty much -- it sounds like it fits the formula for a Far Side punchline from back in the day, though I didn't recall exactly what the context was.

Martha! Fetch the shotgun! The aliens are after the chickens again!

/think I have that far side gallery somewhere

i upped my meds-up yours		2012-05-15 08:26:25 PM

Wind instruments ought to be understood as a regrettable interlude in the noble pursuit called music and an abomination unto the ears of God. One of the signs that the depression and WW2 eras were a modern-day pit of human barbarity was the popularity of big bands, stuffed with huge sections of saxophones and horns.

Cybernetic		2012-05-15 08:28:24 PM

As a former trombone player, I heartily approve.

Isildur		2012-05-15 09:41:57 PM

JonnyBGoode: Isildur: JonnyBGoode: That's a mammoth undertaking.

/Tusk, tusk, tusk.

The tusk pun was painful, but I'll let it slide, because I don't mean to be abrassive.

/I don't get the pachyderm connection.

First thing I thought of when I thought of a large trombone band was Tusk. And mammoth also means large, hence the (admittedly tenuous) connection.

Ah, ok. I hadn't heard of the band. Although I guess that's a mute point now.

/ok, I think I'm out of trombone puns.
//Well, almost -- but in any case they may have horn out their welcome by now

Oldiron_79		2012-05-16 12:08:57 AM

Where they rusty trombones?

JonnyBGoode		2012-05-16 01:40:23 AM

Isildur: JonnyBGoode: Isildur: JonnyBGoode: That's a mammoth undertaking.

/Tusk, tusk, tusk.

The tusk pun was painful, but I'll let it slide, because I don't mean to be abrassive.

/I don't get the pachyderm connection.

First thing I thought of when I thought of a large trombone band was Tusk. And mammoth also means large, hence the (admittedly tenuous) connection.

Ah, ok. I hadn't heard of the band. Although I guess that's a mute point now.

/ok, I think I'm out of trombone puns.
//Well, almost -- but in any case they may have horn out their welcome by now

No no no, the song Tusk by Fleetwood Mac. And since my joke has obviously failed so miserably, I shall play myself out of the thread.

particle_mann		2012-05-16 02:49:44 AM

itsfullofstars: J. Frank Parnell: "A hoard of 500 trombone players"

Are any English classes required for journalism degrees?

This particular "journalist" runs fast and loose with English:

largest all-trombone orchestra.

or·ches·tra - noun - a group of performers on various musical instruments,

True. Technically (and especially since some bass trombone and F trigger horns will probably show up) this is a consort of trombones.

Related: I need to go to this. I am in SoCal, can anyone fund my ticket?

/Because I'm a musician, see...
//20 years of boning, 22 on trumpet

sherlock_moles		2012-05-16 04:23:12 PM

If it weren't for the fact that I live halfway across the country and still have work then, I would totally be there!

/girl trombone
//haven't played in about 4 yrs