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(SFGate)   If you think baby names are getting stupider than ever, you can thank reality TV and religion   (sfgate.com) divider line 263
    More: Obvious, SSA, baby names  
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12931 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2012 at 10:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-14 11:23:55 PM  

Kriggerel: And kindergartens are full of Edwards and Jacobs right now.


It's not just babies. Pets get this stupidity too.

Every single male labrador retriever (or cross) born over the past seven years is named Marley.


People usually let kids name their pets. (at least i hope adults aren't this unoriginal)
 
2012-05-14 11:24:31 PM  
 
2012-05-14 11:25:26 PM  

Knobbs: My daughter is 9 months old now and we named her after a bible of sorts. Alia...as in, Alia Atreides.

/ she crawls without rhythm
// actually got it after hearing Alia Shawkat's name and really liked it.
/// also being in Dune was a huge bonus
//// also, my dad's name was Aloysius and he died a month before she was born. It's kind of a female version in honor of him.
// a lot of reasons led to the perfect storm for naming her


The irony of course is that the name has a religious (specifically Jewish) origin.
 
2012-05-14 11:25:29 PM  
I know NOTHING about any Kardashian. YAY! And if I had three girls, I would name them Alecto, Tisiphone, and Megaera!

Man, do I HATE religious names.
 
2012-05-14 11:25:50 PM  

WhippingBoy: Give your child a common, classic, run of the mill name, but teach them to be exceptional.


Did you steal that from Joel Osteen?
 
2012-05-14 11:26:13 PM  
Salt Lick Steady
jaylectricity:

If my baby is a boy I'm naming him Jay. If it's a girl, I'm naming her Kay.
And that's that.

If I have a girl I'm naming her Eve. If I have a boy I'm naming him Zebediah. And that's that.



I have cats, so I can name them anything I want what they tell me their names are.

Hey, it works. They respond to their names and frequently come when called...
and WITHOUT me having to invoke a can opener.
...and that's that, too.
 
2012-05-14 11:26:15 PM  
Kriggerel: And kindergartens are full of Edwards and Jacobs right now.


It's not just babies. Pets get this stupidity too.

Every single male labrador retriever (or cross) born over the past seven years is named Marley.


I will confess that my bearded dragon is named TROGDOR
 
2012-05-14 11:26:48 PM  
And popular gelatin products
 
2012-05-14 11:27:03 PM  

Fluorescent Testicle: RexTalionis: Incidentally, you can't deny that Sweyn Forkbeard is an awesome name.

Stealing this one for a future Skyrim character.

madanimalscientist: Dairine ...

Probably not a good idea - you'd be inviting schoolyard pricks to call her "Derriere."


I was thinking "diarrhea" (kids are such dicks). Elaine is lovely, though.
 
2012-05-14 11:27:31 PM  

WhippingBoy: Give your child a common, classic, run of the mill name, but teach them to be exceptional.


Like Cooter?
 
2012-05-14 11:27:54 PM  

Kriggerel: And kindergartens are full of Edwards and Jacobs right now.


It's not just babies. Pets get this stupidity too.

Every single male labrador retriever (or cross) born over the past seven years is named Marley.


My almost-1-year-old nephew is named Edward James, mainly because his father and grandfather are also named Edward.

/is sooo glad my parents gave me and my brothers traditional first names
 
2012-05-14 11:27:56 PM  

RexTalionis: Suffice it to say, it involves a triphthong and some fun tonal changes.


How YOU doin'?

/I'd go for Triph.
//or Mike.
///what does it mean?
 
2012-05-14 11:28:19 PM  

jaylectricity: WhippingBoy: Give your child a common, classic, run of the mill name, but teach them to be exceptional.

Did you steal that from Joel Osteen?


Who?
 
2012-05-14 11:28:19 PM  
Smash Lampjaw
Rock Punchgroin
Thick McRunsfast
etc...
 
2012-05-14 11:30:52 PM  

RexTalionis: [o.onionstatic.com image 630x530]
/Obvious


That chart is complete BS. Cracker-ass white yuppies have made tremendous strides in the last 20 years in the field of ridiculous names. Looking through the phone book from my kids' school leaves me absolutely astounded at some of the crap names rich white parents are coming up with these days.

Take Aiden for example. A massively overused name in recent years, many parents have decided to make up for its overuse by farking with the spelling, as if that makes it any better. So within a few blocks of my house there's Aiden, Ayden, Aohden, and Aidyn. Or they just add a consonant, leaving us with an entire generation of Haydens, Braydens, Caydens, Jaydens, and every possible spelling variation thereof. The list goes on and on. Suffice it to say that the days when white people could laugh in disdain at the silly, nonsensical, made-up names of black children have long since passed.
 
2012-05-14 11:31:07 PM  

syzygy whizz: Salt Lick Steady
jaylectricity:
If my baby is a boy I'm naming him Jay. If it's a girl, I'm naming her Kay.
And that's that.

If I have a girl I'm naming her Eve. If I have a boy I'm naming him Zebediah. And that's that.


I have cats, so I can name them anything I want what they tell me their names are.

Hey, it works. They respond to their names and frequently come when called...
and WITHOUT me having to invoke a can opener.
...and that's that, too.


Mine responds to kitteh kitteh, though her name is Battlecat.
 
2012-05-14 11:31:47 PM  
My sister wanted to name her son Elisha, you know, the prophet from the Bible. She wasn't happy when I kept going on "But, Elisha is a girl's name now!" You could call him Eli, she says. Why the hell can you just name him Eli? I was just trying to do right by my nephew. She went with Asa, which is a vast improvement as far as I'm concerned.
 
2012-05-14 11:33:00 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: Cracker-ass white yuppies have made tremendous strides in the last 20 years in the field of ridiculous names.


My daughter Saltina is very offended by this.
 
2012-05-14 11:33:16 PM  

GuyCaballero: Kriggerel: And kindergartens are full of Edwards and Jacobs right now.


It's not just babies. Pets get this stupidity too.

Every single male labrador retriever (or cross) born over the past seven years is named Marley.

People usually let kids name their pets. (at least i hope adults aren't this unoriginal)


And every Republican dog is named Reagan.
 
2012-05-14 11:34:44 PM  
i692.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-14 11:34:48 PM  

12349876: GuyCaballero: Kriggerel: And kindergartens are full of Edwards and Jacobs right now.


It's not just babies. Pets get this stupidity too.

Every single male labrador retriever (or cross) born over the past seven years is named Marley.

People usually let kids name their pets. (at least i hope adults aren't this unoriginal)

And every Republican dog is named Reagan.


GAH!

Don't say THE NAME! All the spillover Freepers just broke into a spontaneous circle-jerk!
 
2012-05-14 11:35:00 PM  

12349876: GuyCaballero: Kriggerel: And kindergartens are full of Edwards and Jacobs right now.


It's not just babies. Pets get this stupidity too.

Every single male labrador retriever (or cross) born over the past seven years is named Marley.

People usually let kids name their pets. (at least i hope adults aren't this unoriginal)

And every Republican dog is named Reagan.


I know a Republican with a daughter named Reagan.
 
2012-05-14 11:35:21 PM  

Lorelle: Kriggerel: And kindergartens are full of Edwards and Jacobs right now.


It's not just babies. Pets get this stupidity too.

Every single male labrador retriever (or cross) born over the past seven years is named Marley.

My almost-1-year-old nephew is named Edward James, mainly because his father and grandfather are also named Edward.

/is sooo glad my parents gave me and my brothers traditional first names


I come from a line of Cincinnatus's, and I turned out on fark.
 
2012-05-14 11:35:40 PM  

12349876: And every Republican dog is named Reagan.


If I get a conservative dog, I'm calling him Checkers.
 
2012-05-14 11:35:46 PM  

RexTalionis:
I can't tell you that. The ethnic name is also unique and a search for it will give you all sorts of information like where I work, what I've published and my home address and telephone number.

Suffice it to say, it involves a triphthong and some fun tonal changes.


So did my prom night, Rex.
 
2012-05-14 11:35:47 PM  

Salt Lick Steady: The Dog Ate My Homework: Cracker-ass white yuppies have made tremendous strides in the last 20 years in the field of ridiculous names.

My daughter Saltina is very offended by this.


As is my son White Cheddar Goldfish.
 
2012-05-14 11:36:16 PM  
Elmer Boxcar
Sampson Jangle
Grifter Flintlock
 
2012-05-14 11:36:16 PM  
syzygy whizz: I have cats, so I can name them anything I want what they tell me their names are.

Hey, it works. They respond to their names and frequently come when called...
and WITHOUT me having to invoke a can opener.
...and that's that, too.


Our current cats are Persephone, Ayla and Barney. They all respond to their names.

/past cats were Chani, Hrissa, Corwin and Whizbang
 
2012-05-14 11:36:55 PM  

Salt Lick Steady: ///what does it mean?


Three vowels in a row forming a single syllabic sound.
 
2012-05-14 11:37:09 PM  
If you think baby names are getting stupider than ever, you can thank reality TV and religion
i277.photobucket.com
and
i1193.photobucket.com
This is not new.
 
2012-05-14 11:37:10 PM  

The Dog Ate My Homework: RexTalionis: [o.onionstatic.com image 630x530]
/Obvious

That chart is complete BS. Cracker-ass white yuppies have made tremendous strides in the last 20 years in the field of ridiculous names. Looking through the phone book from my kids' school leaves me absolutely astounded at some of the crap names rich white parents are coming up with these days.

Take Aiden for example. A massively overused name in recent years, many parents have decided to make up for its overuse by farking with the spelling, as if that makes it any better. So within a few blocks of my house there's Aiden, Ayden, Aohden, and Aidyn. Or they just add a consonant, leaving us with an entire generation of Haydens, Braydens, Caydens, Jaydens, and every possible spelling variation thereof. The list goes on and on. Suffice it to say that the days when white people could laugh in disdain at the silly, nonsensical, made-up names of black children have long since passed.


The funniest thing is that these "parents" seem genuinely surprised when they discover that someone else named their child Cayden. Really? You honestly thought that no other dumb-asses out there would think of adding a 'C' and spelling it with a 'y'?
 
2012-05-14 11:38:36 PM  

meanmutton: Knobbs: My daughter is 9 months old now and we named her after a bible of sorts. Alia...as in, Alia Atreides.

/ she crawls without rhythm
// actually got it after hearing Alia Shawkat's name and really liked it.
/// also being in Dune was a huge bonus
//// also, my dad's name was Aloysius and he died a month before she was born. It's kind of a female version in honor of him.
// a lot of reasons led to the perfect storm for naming her

The irony of course is that the name has a religious (specifically Jewish) origin.


True...actually, it's roughly the same meaning in a ton of languages. Hebrew, Arabic, Swahili. I just don't need my kid finding out she's "exalted" and getting a big head.
 
2012-05-14 11:38:38 PM  
My grandparents put "Richard" on my dad's birth certificate, but then apparently forgot about it and called him Murray. He didn't know about it until he received his draft notice in the mail.
 
2012-05-14 11:38:48 PM  

RexTalionis: 12349876: And every Republican dog is named Reagan.

If I get a conservative dog, I'm calling him Checkers.


Okay, but when you yell at him for sh*tting on the carpet, he'll blame it on regulations.
 
2012-05-14 11:40:46 PM  
Pointy Tail of Satan

I know NOTHING about any Kardashian. YAY! And if I had three girls, I would name them Alecto, Tisiphone, and Megaera!

Man, do I HATE religious names.



With those names I'd think their fate would be to be really, really good with textile crafts...


/ as long as they don't run with the scissors
// Runs With Scissors...meh, probably been overdone already as a tag for the kid...
 
2012-05-14 11:41:19 PM  

Salt Lick Steady: Mine responds to kitteh kitteh, though her name is Battlecat.


I call mine poopyface or biatchface. Hell, she tattled on me tonight! After I let her go she ran into the other room to tell my GF how horribly terrible I was to her.

/horrible :: terrible
//horrific :: terrific
 
2012-05-14 11:41:25 PM  
My parents gave me what i think is weird name.

Even worse in Japenese...............Aki
 
2012-05-14 11:41:40 PM  

mamoru: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Combined with a falling national IQ average

Pretty sure the national IQ average is still 100. :p


Still, if we really, really try hard, I think everyone can be above average.
 
2012-05-14 11:42:07 PM  

boatbetty: My parents gave me what i think is weird name.

Even worse in Japenese...............Aki


No wonder you chose Betty.
 
2012-05-14 11:43:13 PM  

Salt Lick Steady: More like Malachi. Do you know how many limericks you can make with a name like Malachi?


That's why I named my daughter 'Nantucket'.
 
2012-05-14 11:43:22 PM  

RexTalionis: Salt Lick Steady: ///what does it mean?

Three vowels in a row forming a single syllabic sound.


So you're Swedish?
 
2012-05-14 11:44:25 PM  
The absolute worst is when white people with long lost, (barely) tangential ties to the "old country" name their child some ultra-ethnic name.

"We're gonna name our son Brandubh Cathalan, cuz like we're Celtic, ya know?"
 
2012-05-14 11:44:26 PM  
I told the child's mother that if it was a boy, the child was to be named Lucifer. It was a girl. So much for that plan!
 
2012-05-14 11:45:20 PM  
Sounds like there's gonna be an awful lotta Farkin' arks bein' built soon.
 
2012-05-14 11:48:08 PM  

Oldiron_79: Sweyn Forkbeard would make an exelent name for a Dwarf Character in World of Warcrack.


Bolt Vanderhuge or Thick McRunFast are also acceptable answers

/Bob Johnson
 
2012-05-14 11:49:22 PM  

Catymogo1: I know a Republican with a daughter named Reagan.


I know TWO Republicans with daughters named Reagan. One of them also has a son named Lincoln.
 
2012-05-14 11:49:48 PM  

Catymogo1: 12349876: GuyCaballero: Kriggerel: And kindergartens are full of Edwards and Jacobs right now.


It's not just babies. Pets get this stupidity too.

Every single male labrador retriever (or cross) born over the past seven years is named Marley.

People usually let kids name their pets. (at least i hope adults aren't this unoriginal)

And every Republican dog is named Reagan.

I know a Republican with a daughter named Reagan.


I know some Republicans with a son named Reagan, and a very NOT Republican couple who named their daughter Reagan and made it clear it had nothing to do with our 40th president.
 
2012-05-14 11:49:59 PM  

Balchinian: Meh...my son Male and my daughter Female frown on your shenanigans.

Seriously, who gives a flying fark what you name your kids? Right, Drew?

Drew???


Right. Fark a buncha kids! Who cares what the brats are named.
 
2012-05-14 11:50:52 PM  
static.ddmcdn.com

Not impressed.
 
2012-05-14 11:52:06 PM  

Fano:
My theory on female names: (ymmv) It's nice to have a name that's elegant, classic, and sophisticated for an adult woman, but with a nickname you could call a little girl. (Sophie) Nice combo. You don't want to saddle a child with a name only an old person would have, like "Gertrude," but you can't imagine that any of the kiddie/stripper names would belong to a C.E.O..

Similar rules apply for guys as well.


We used a rather boiled down version of this in naming our (now) 3 month old son. He should have a name that would allow him to be either a Supreme Court Justice, or a baseball player.

/Went with James
//Call him Jamie
///Yes there's a little bit of Game of Thrones influence there.
 
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