ssssssslackin'

Retract! Retract!

common sense is an oxymoron: drjekel_mrhyde: Voiceofreason01: Aw, come on, who doesn't like to knock the shiat out of someone smaller than them?

I use to smack the biggest farker around just to prove myself
/5'9" 150lb

Any relation?

[i213.photobucket.com image 320x240]

This is not a sha-wade.

The My Little Pony Killer: neuroflare: The My Little Pony Killer: the Onion for sports stories

The Onion's sports stories are funny. The Pickle's? Not so much

That would be why I stopped reading at the fourth paragraph.

This

If it were real:

Great! More dorm room and educational funding for people who should actually end up attending college instead of the farkwits that kill any ability of the teachers/professors/educational system to educate the next generation.

Why does anyone ever see a student on an athletic field when they have no business in an institution of higher learning aside from making a buck for the alma mater?

A little case-in-point:
Last year ended a three year span in which the University of Georgia set new records in spending a total of $93,000,000 just in advertising it's inbred bulldog pooch logo.
How many struggling students could have garnered at least a partial if not total education from that money?

$93,000,000


/Fark it
//rant off
///dropped out of high school but know better
////not in the face!
/runs home crying

CliChe Guevara: ambassador_ahab: FTA:

"This anti-bullying push is killing football in this country," said Robb Medowski, who runs youth football camps throughout the Midwest. "We need huge, angry, hate-filled children who like inflicting pain on others, especially on the line of scrimmage. While life may be better for the nerds and pansies, we could be 10 to 15 years away from not having any linemen. I don't think America wants that to happen."

Definitely satire.

You have never worked with youth football coaches then. That seems like a compassionate and liberal view of the issue comparatively.

Yeah, a real coach would never admit any of that, not even to himself.

Old enough to know better: I wish this was satire.

You mean you wish it WERE satire. Because gramatically...

/IWIWAL
//Too obscure?

Can football players even get any pansier? Seems like every year they're introducing more pads, safety equipment, and rules to protect the delicate little snowflakes.

back in my day, in youth football, the linemen types were the ones that got picked on for being fat.

Then in high school, everything evened out and we got them to buy the beer cause they all looked like they were 25.

No winners! Pussies rule!

AssAsInAssassin: Old enough to know better: I wish this was satire.

You mean you wish it WERE satire. Because gramatically...

/IWIWAL
//Too obscure?

Why is the single 'this" given the conjugation 'were'? The only GIS reference I could see to "IWIWAL" refers to wishing you are lesbian. Please enlighten me as I'm sure I'm missing something here and I don't want to be left hanging.

Likwit: Definitely among the least funny things I've read all month.

Nooope..your comment takes that cake. I derived superb enjoyment out of subby's well-played hand and all the butthurt it engendered. I swear the population of fark completely changes over the course of two months, and we end up with a new sack of shills every other moon.

/welcometofark.png

Corporate Self: Some people's priories are beyond farked.

Starting with the ones who don't use the Satire tag for fake articles.

neuroflare:
The My Little Pony Killer: the Onion for sports stories

The Onion's sports stories are funny. The Pickle's? Not so much

Really, it's safe to say that any ostensibly-humorous vegetable-named website that is not The Onion is probably good for a fleeting smile at best, and angry disappointment at worst. Which is not to say The Onion is always top-notch either.

Sadly written satire...just awful. Hamfisted and lame. Amateurs.

/shallow and pedantic

"This anti-bullying push is killing football in this country," said Robb Medowski, who runs youth football camps throughout the Midwest. "We need huge, angry, hate-filled children who like inflicting pain on others, especially on the line of scrimmage. While life may be better for the nerds and pansies, we could be 10 to 15 years away from not having any linemen. I don't think America wants that to happen."

although I figured it was satire eventually, the fact remains that I have seen and heard coaches who sound just like this guy. I think that is where the problem lies... the fact that this attitude is not so far fetched for some of us who have been around such people.

I coach high school freshman and youth football so I'm getting a kick . . . .

to tell the truth, with the youngest age levels, it's hard sometimes to get them to ratchet up some intensity/aggression because they've been told all their lives not to hit people.

While living there, I learned that in American Samoa, a country that is virtually a factory of NFL players, bullying is pretty much the perpetual norm.

/Warrior culture and all that
//And how many of you saw the "Sports Pickle" title and STILL didn't think it was satire?

While I know it is satire, I have to take issue with their premise. They're saying that by preventing these larger kids from bullying the weak ones, they somehow lose all that hatred and aggression. If anything, wouldn't it be the exact opposite? They're not chemically neutering the bullies, just taking away an outlet for their hate and aggression. If anything, all that pent up rage would make for even better football players.

SushiJoe: Please tell me that article is satire

It's not. It's a really stupid attempt at humor, but it is not satire.

is the bully the one bullying or the one getting bullied?
is there a difference

and the goal is to just make it easier for everyone else.


why not put lithium in the bottled water

I just looked up gullible in the dictionary and it had subby's picture.

The My Little Pony Killer: SushiJoe: Please tell me that article is satire

Oh boy. I figured out by the fourth paragraph that this is basically the Onion for sports stories. Just relax and enjoy the ride.

Took ya that long?

HaveBeerWillTravel: Oh, it's satire. Okay. Because I was a lineman when I played in high school and I never bullied anybody. Hell, I was a huge farking nerd. And the guys who played on the line with me remain some of the nicest people I have ever known.

Yeah, they were. Its DEs and LBs who were the assholes, so it shouldnt surprise a lot of people here that I played LB and DE, but then it was a small school so I had to play Tackle as well, and fill in at FB on quite a few plays.

But defense is where the bullies are and its the most fun to play.

"This anti-bullying push is killing football in this country,"

And the problem is...?