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(MequonNow)   "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who's had ALL he could eat?"   (mequonnow.com) divider line 106
    More: Amusing, North Main Street, diners, jury  
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13932 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2012 at 3:22 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-14 02:27:35 PM
Lionel Hutz: Now, Mrs. Simpson, tell the court in your own words what happened after you and your husband were ejected out of the restaurant.
Marge: Well, we pretty much went straight home.
Lionel Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, remember that you are under oath.
Marge: We drove around until three in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.
Lionel Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?
Marge: [crying] We... went... fishing.

www.cityweekly.net
/hot
 
2012-05-14 02:32:10 PM
"Come see Bottomless Pete, nature's cruelest mistake. Come for the freak, stay for the food."
 
2012-05-14 02:32:21 PM
'Tis no man. 'Tis a remorseless eating machine.
 
2012-05-14 02:33:03 PM

Serious Black: "Come see Bottomless Pete, nature's cruelest mistake. Come for the freak, stay for the food."


"I hear they shaved a gorilla."
 
2012-05-14 02:36:17 PM
Well to be fair, all his wife had were some tic-tacs

/Excellent choice!
 
2012-05-14 03:13:07 PM
Sign say 'All you can eat' not 'You eat all'!
 
2012-05-14 03:23:34 PM
"Is it true Mr. Simpson that you once ate a 10 lb bag of flour when no other food was available?"
 
2012-05-14 03:24:48 PM
sounds fat
 
2012-05-14 03:25:21 PM
* who's
 
2012-05-14 03:25:36 PM
I don't use the word 'hero' very often, but this man is the greatest hero in American history.
 
2012-05-14 03:26:32 PM
images.wikia.com

Michael was having brunch with Sally Sitwell at a restaurant called Skip Church's Bistro. In addition to brunch, the restaurant was known for an item on the menu called the "Skip's Scramble", an omelet that contained everything on the menu. Do not order the Skip's Scramble.
 
2012-05-14 03:26:32 PM
He needs kicked in the dick.
 
2012-05-14 03:26:42 PM
Was his name Mr. Creosote?
 
2012-05-14 03:26:52 PM
Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, "The Never-Ending Story".
 
2012-05-14 03:27:10 PM
Satisfaction guaranteed.
 
2012-05-14 03:27:28 PM
Marge: "I have a pack of Tic-Tacs in my purse."
Waiter: "Excellent choice!"
 
2012-05-14 03:27:30 PM
That could have been ME!!
 
2012-05-14 03:27:53 PM
"That could've been me!"
 
2012-05-14 03:28:28 PM
In fairness to the guy, he was paying for all you can eat. Obviously when they gave him 8 pieces to go that they were lying about being out of fish. Lot's of places put limits on their menus for all you can eat just for that reason.
 
2012-05-14 03:28:33 PM
So where did the extra fish come from if they had ran out of fish?
 
2012-05-14 03:28:46 PM
kgohealth.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-05-14 03:29:10 PM

strangeguitar: That could have been ME!!


Great minds think alike, and admire whatever voir dire magic Hutz pulled off to get that jury
 
2012-05-14 03:29:19 PM
I am not ashamed to admit that I once helped contribute to an all-you-can-eat deal at a restaurant ending early because they ran out of food. That was a glorious day.
 
2012-05-14 03:30:04 PM
I don't know what it is about seafood, but I can put that shiat away. Twelve pieces of fish...if we're talking 3-4 oz. fried fillets heck yeah I could do that.

I sound fat.
 
2012-05-14 03:30:42 PM
world problems. This is why they hate us.
 
2012-05-14 03:31:23 PM
fta (paraphrased): the man was told the restaurant ran out of fish. he refused to pay. they gave him 8 pieces of fish to-go, he paid and left.

what am i missing here? did they substitute the unsubstitutable fish to grease the squeaky wheel?

mind you, i understand the guy's compaint. it is supposed to be an "all-you-can-eat" dining experience. the restaurant should be suitably stocked for the event. i can't do it now at the age of 36, but when i was 12-16 years old and my family and i would go once every few months to an a-y-c-e fried catfish establishment, i got not only my money's worth, but everyone at the tables' money's worth. i'd eat minimum 12 pieces of catfish and probably about 1.5 lb of french fries.

/not as fat as i sound
//didn't say i was skinny...just not as fat as i sound
 
2012-05-14 03:31:24 PM
Wisconsin I believe... the one place restaurants don't dare run out of fish or beer.
 
2012-05-14 03:32:06 PM
I really can't believe someone can eat that much food, I mean at most I can eat two 6oz mahi mahi's and I would be stuffed without a side veggie etc.
 
2012-05-14 03:32:24 PM
I figured there would be thousands of similar protests daily across 'merikuh?
 
2012-05-14 03:33:01 PM
done in one.
 
2012-05-14 03:34:48 PM

bungle_jr: fta (paraphrased): the man was told the restaurant ran out of fish. he refused to pay. they gave him 8 pieces of fish to-go, he paid and left.

what am i missing here? did they substitute the unsubstitutable fish to grease the squeaky wheel?

mind you, i understand the guy's compaint. it is supposed to be an "all-you-can-eat" dining experience. the restaurant should be suitably stocked for the event. i can't do it now at the age of 36, but when i was 12-16 years old and my family and i would go once every few months to an a-y-c-e fried catfish establishment, i got not only my money's worth, but everyone at the tables' money's worth. i'd eat minimum 12 pieces of catfish and probably about 1.5 lb of french fries.

/not as fat as i sound
//didn't say i was skinny...just not as fat as i sound


Eh, I'm a 125-130 lb mega skinny guy, and I've packed away two pounds winning the Fuddruckers challenge + fries. Of course I'd smoked about a quarter of primo, and proceeded to sleep it off for 12 hours...but you don't necessarily sound fat. Hell, look at Kobayashi.
 
2012-05-14 03:36:41 PM
t2.gstatic.com

You here four hour! You go now!
 
2012-05-14 03:38:09 PM
That man ate all our shrimp, and two plastic lobsters!

/can't believe that got left out
 
2012-05-14 03:38:12 PM
Let them have their TAR TAR sauce.
 
2012-05-14 03:38:12 PM
Arrrr, 'tis no man! 'Tis a remorseless eatin' machine!
 
2012-05-14 03:38:26 PM

Woodstock_the_Mighty: [t2.gstatic.com image 187x270]

You here four hour! You go now!


Came for this. Thank you good sir.
 
2012-05-14 03:43:08 PM
He had 12 peices of fish until they ran out. They didn't want to substitute a different (presumably) more expensive fish - but he refused to pay his bill. So they gave him 8 peices of the other fish (to go) - and he comes back and Picketed the Store!?!?

Frankly, he can EABOD - all he can handle.
/he sounds Huge.
 
2012-05-14 03:43:40 PM
In college, we got to be such afficionados of AYCE restaurants that we eventually had to come up with separate terms to denote the varying quality of such places:

"All You Can Eat" -- suitable for typical, mid-scale buffets where you wouldn't be completely embarassed to be seen.
"All You Care To Eat" -- upscale. Fancy Vegas buffets and the Sunday Brunch Buffet at your local white tablecloth restaurant. You probably have to put on a collared shirt if you're going to one of these.
"Eat All You Can" - really, this is just a competition between you and the restaurant to see who is going to take the financial hit and by how much. Wear sweatpants and be prepared to be wheeled out if necessary.
 
2012-05-14 03:43:56 PM

EWreckedSean: In fairness to the guy, he was paying for all you can eat. Obviously when they gave him 8 pieces to go that they were lying about being out of fish. Lot's of places put limits on their menus for all you can eat just for that reason.


The article isn't clear if those 8 pieces were the same kind of fish, or a different fish. For example, it might have been AYCE Beer Battered cod, and the 8 pieces could have been Walleye, Perch or something else.

Having grown up in the Milwaukee area, most AYCE fish fries are priced at an amount that is probably aiming for half the customers to get 1 extra serving. Since most give you 2-3 pieces per serving, 12 pieces means he got 3-5 additional servings/

/they may have just wanted the table for additional customers too, depending on how long he was there.
 
2012-05-14 03:47:51 PM
I can destroy a salad bar, but I never go to such places. Not only are lettuces and other veggies very cheap in Cali, but the types of folks that haunt all you can eat places tend to not supervise their filthy little snowflakes very well. Those places are completely unhygienic. If I wanted the pathogen du jour I could just go to the mall and use one of the tester lipsticks at the Clinique counter in Nordstrom's. At least then I'd look halfway decent when I landed in the doctor's office or the ER.
 
2012-05-14 03:49:12 PM

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: The article isn't clear if those 8 pieces were the same kind of fish, or a different fish. For example, it might have been AYCE Beer Battered cod, and the 8 pieces could have been Walleye, Perch or something else.


I think you are right - they ran out of cod and swapped to something else. Theinsville isn;t that big and it can only be a couple of places, but I wish they mentioned the place. Besides - Taylor and Dunns has the best fish fry in the area. No need to go anywhere else.
 
2012-05-14 03:49:56 PM
I'm all out of fish, I'm so thin without you,
I guess I'm too late, I see that the sole is gone.
 
2012-05-14 03:50:52 PM
Fairly warned be thee, says I.
 
2012-05-14 03:51:43 PM

Private_Citizen: He had 12 peices of fish until they ran out. They didn't want to substitute a different (presumably) more expensive fish - but he refused to pay his bill. So they gave him 8 peices of the other fish (to go) - and he comes back and Picketed the Store!?!?

Frankly, he can EABOD - all he can handle.
/he sounds Huge.


yeah i think if it was me, i would've asked for some sort of discount if i knew my ayce abilities were more than the 12 pieces i'd already eaten. and picketing was pretty much over the top and uncalled for.

when i lived in batesville arkansas i worked at rent-a-center. there was a chinese buffet next door i ate at probably weekly. one day i started eating and quickly realized the chicken choices on the buffet (which typically made about 75% of my buffet selections) were ROTTEN.

i had taken one small bite of 2 or 3 dishes and gotten confirmation from a guy (who happened to work in the chicken industry) at a neighboring table that something was foul with the fowl.

so i went up to the counter where i told the owner "how much for my tea? i'll pay for my tea, but the chicken was rotten". he tried to give me the schpill about how they refrigerate or freeze the chicken as soon as it comes in, that it was all properly done, etc. i said "look, i eat here a lot, not trying to call you a liar, but obviously somewhere along the way the chicken went bad, and i'll gladly pay for my tea." "but you ate the food!". "sir, i normally fill up on a majority of chicken dishes, which were rotten. i ate a few fries and a couple small portions of sides, how much for my tea". he then told me nevermind just go.
 
2012-05-14 03:55:00 PM

Woodstock_the_Mighty: [t2.gstatic.com image 187x270]

You here four hour! You go now!


Seconded.. As soon as I read the headline all that I heard in my head was "You go now!!!!"
 
2012-05-14 03:56:32 PM
"WHO'S" goddamit. A contraction of "WHO" and "HAS".

Jeebus.. like getting the illiterates to distinguish between "your" and "you're" wasn't bad enough.
 
2012-05-14 03:59:33 PM

bungle_jr: Private_Citizen: He had 12 peices of fish until they ran out. They didn't want to substitute a different (presumably) more expensive fish - but he refused to pay his bill. So they gave him 8 peices of the other fish (to go) - and he comes back and Picketed the Store!?!?

Frankly, he can EABOD - all he can handle.
/he sounds Huge.

yeah i think if it was me, i would've asked for some sort of discount if i knew my ayce abilities were more than the 12 pieces i'd already eaten. and picketing was pretty much over the top and uncalled for.

when i lived in batesville arkansas i worked at rent-a-center. there was a chinese buffet next door i ate at probably weekly. one day i started eating and quickly realized the chicken choices on the buffet (which typically made about 75% of my buffet selections) were ROTTEN.

i had taken one small bite of 2 or 3 dishes and gotten confirmation from a guy (who happened to work in the chicken industry) at a neighboring table that something was foul with the fowl.

so i went up to the counter where i told the owner "how much for my tea? i'll pay for my tea, but the chicken was rotten". he tried to give me the schpill about how they refrigerate or freeze the chicken as soon as it comes in, that it was all properly done, etc. i said "look, i eat here a lot, not trying to call you a liar, but obviously somewhere along the way the chicken went bad, and i'll gladly pay for my tea." "but you ate the food!". "sir, i normally fill up on a majority of chicken dishes, which were rotten. i ate a few fries and a couple small portions of sides, how much for my tea". he then told me nevermind just go.


He's lucky you were so understanding! In a small town like Batesville a story like yours could close a restauraunt.
 
2012-05-14 04:00:15 PM
I'm guessing that this is the place.
 
2012-05-14 04:00:43 PM

9beers: So where did the extra fish come from if they had ran out of fish?


Socialism.
 
2012-05-14 04:05:04 PM

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: EWreckedSean: In fairness to the guy, he was paying for all you can eat. Obviously when they gave him 8 pieces to go that they were lying about being out of fish. Lot's of places put limits on their menus for all you can eat just for that reason.

The article isn't clear if those 8 pieces were the same kind of fish, or a different fish. For example, it might have been AYCE Beer Battered cod, and the 8 pieces could have been Walleye, Perch or something else.

Having grown up in the Milwaukee area, most AYCE fish fries are priced at an amount that is probably aiming for half the customers to get 1 extra serving. Since most give you 2-3 pieces per serving, 12 pieces means he got 3-5 additional servings/

/they may have just wanted the table for additional customers too, depending on how long he was there.


I'm surprised he got the waitress to come back to the table that often. Around here we have a restaurant that does the AYCE fish (pollack I believe) and getting them to come back twice to your table with more fish practically requires a court order.
 
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