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(Salt Lake Tribune)   "I kissed her breasts and nipples, as there was no place for my face to go." Why Salt Lake City vice unit had to be disbanded   (sltrib.com) divider line 79
    More: Fail, organizational structure, massage parlors, Salt Lake City, prostitution  
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20487 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2012 at 11:01 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-14 11:03:26 AM
Go on...
 
2012-05-14 11:03:44 AM
oh long johnson
 
2012-05-14 11:04:28 AM
no other place for his wiener to go?
 
2012-05-14 11:04:41 AM
Cops farking prostitutes? No surprise. They only arrest the ugly ones.
 
2012-05-14 11:05:10 AM
dv-ous: Cops farking prostitutes? No surprise. They only arrest the ugly ones.

No fat chicks, Its the law
 
2012-05-14 11:05:12 AM
 
2012-05-14 11:05:49 AM
She fell onto my penis! What was I supposed to do?!
 
2012-05-14 11:06:07 AM
It did not rise to criminal conduct

Whatever you say, detective.
 
2012-05-14 11:06:37 AM
It's getting difficult for vice squads to launch effective stings without at least hitting third base. It used to be that getting a hooker to agree to a sex act in exhange for money on tape was all you needed. The problem is a lot of hookers nowadays don't speak English, so much of the negotiation happens with body language.
 
2012-05-14 11:06:44 AM
In the Dec. 2, 2011, case of the detective who kissed the prostitute's breasts, he argued it was not a policy violation since he had no control over her placing her breasts in his face. The review board disagreed, saying the kissing was a voluntary act on the detective's part. The board said the detective committed "conduct unbecoming." A spokesman for the Policeman's Union disagreed, explaining that his conduct led to a direct result of coming.
 
2012-05-14 11:08:34 AM
"Vice Squad: SLC" would make a compelling TV show.
 
2012-05-14 11:08:39 AM
Nothing wrong with a person that loves their work.
 
2012-05-14 11:09:32 AM
In the Dec. 2, 2011, case of the detective who kissed the prostitute's breasts, he argued it was not a policy violation since he had no control over her placing her breasts in his face

This man is a victim! Forced motor-boatage is a serious issue!
 
2012-05-14 11:09:51 AM
I kissed her breasts and nipples, as there was no place for my face to go.

Oh man. If I had a dime for every time I've been in that predicament...
 
2012-05-14 11:10:27 AM

Fabric_Man: It's getting difficult for vice squads to launch effective stings without at least hitting third base. It used to be that getting a hooker to agree to a sex act in exhange for money on tape was all you needed. The problem is a lot of hookers nowadays don't speak English, so much of the negotiation happens with body language.


We could just legalize prostitution like Germany did and this wouldn't be an issue.
 
2012-05-14 11:11:28 AM
www.infobarrel.com

Amateurs.
 
2012-05-14 11:11:37 AM

Theaetetus: In the Dec. 2, 2011, case of the detective who kissed the prostitute's breasts, he argued it was not a policy violation since he had no control over her placing her breasts in his face. The review board disagreed, saying the kissing was a voluntary act on the detective's part. The board said the detective committed "conduct unbecoming." A spokesman for the Policeman's Union disagreed, explaining that his conduct led to a direct result of coming.


"led to a direct result of coming"

Dafuq?
 
2012-05-14 11:11:58 AM
roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-05-14 11:13:34 AM
CSB: when I was a teenager, there was a notorious massage parlor in my hometown. The police decided that the happy finishes had to go before the community was hopelessly corrupted. So one day, the owner of the parlor was busted. She went to court and, though she had pleaded not guilty to prostitution, she confirmed all the allegations that the three arresting detectives had leveled against her. The judge asked her how many times had the detectives visited her establishment to collect evidence. She told him that collectively, they had been in some 60 times in the previous three months. Did they receive any happy finishes? Why, yes, each time and not just from handjobs and not just from the girls. The judge dismissed the case and called it entrapment. A few years later, state investigators audited the police evidence room and found some 200 lbs of pot was missing. Cops have the best dope!
 
2012-05-14 11:13:37 AM
I'm pretty sure tits being flopped in your face causes an uncontrollable suckling response. They should have gone with the science defense.
 
2012-05-14 11:13:46 AM
Best line "did not rise to criminal conduct" get this guy some viagra.
 
2012-05-14 11:14:03 AM

fred_chan: She fell onto my penis! What was I supposed to do?!


Retreat and advance... Retreat and advance Retreat and advance Retreat and advance Retreat and advance... Retreat and advance Retreat and advance Retreat and advance Retreat and advance... Retreat and advance Retreat and advance Retreat and advance


...aaaand retreat.
 
2012-05-14 11:14:14 AM
Oh, BOOK her. I thought you said something else, chief.
 
2012-05-14 11:14:49 AM
it is sad when a man can't enjoy a simple lapdance without getting some tits rubbed on his face. i mean seriously, doesn't the stripper know you can spread cooties that way?

/i was just there to enjoy the music
 
mhd
2012-05-14 11:15:00 AM
Is this an entry for the Bulwer-Lytton contest?
 
2012-05-14 11:16:18 AM
 
2012-05-14 11:20:04 AM
Damn, I thought this was a recap of last night's Mad Men.

/Rory Gilmore sideboob FTW
 
2012-05-14 11:23:32 AM

AgentBang: [www.infobarrel.com image 500x366]

Amateurs.


He was outnumbered.
 
2012-05-14 11:24:59 AM
Prostitution, legalize it, tax it, keep health checks up to date, profit.
Almost every other country in the world has already done this.
 
2012-05-14 11:25:36 AM
i550.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-14 11:29:05 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-05-14 11:32:58 AM
home.comcast.net
 
2012-05-14 11:34:12 AM
Pigs are stupid.
 
2012-05-14 11:35:03 AM
My bunk. I'll be there.
 
2012-05-14 11:35:36 AM
Seems like a perfectly plausible explanation of the encounter. I totally believe it.
 
mhd
2012-05-14 11:36:01 AM

cig-mkr: Almost every other country in the world has already done this.


Actually, a pretty small subset:
Austria, Bolivia, Colombia, Côte d'Ivoire, Ecuador, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Latvia, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Senegal, Switzerland, Turkey, Uruguay, Venezuela
 
2012-05-14 11:40:41 AM
I'm more amazed that SLC, Utah has massage parlors and prostitutes at all. That's the real story here...
 
TWX
2012-05-14 11:42:43 AM

TrancePI: I'm more amazed that SLC, Utah has massage parlors and prostitutes at all. That's the real story here...


Why are you surprised? There are males that live there, after all...
 
2012-05-14 11:45:05 AM
Did they take a vow to never touch a woman?

hbowatch.com
 
2012-05-14 11:50:26 AM
"We're just re-evaluating what vice will look like."

WELLLL . . . if you need some ad-vice on THAT topic, you've come to the right place.
 
2012-05-14 11:51:43 AM
Should have used the professionals:

static.tvguide.com
 
2012-05-14 11:52:48 AM

mhd: cig-mkr: Almost every other country in the world has already done this.

Actually, a pretty small subset:
Austria, Bolivia, Colombia, Côte d'Ivoire, Ecuador, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Latvia, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Senegal, Switzerland, Turkey, Uruguay, Venezuela


Technically, Canada. It's a legal occupation, you just can't have an office or advertise, or have a spouse or roomate.
 
2012-05-14 11:53:07 AM
The Federal Government must create laws that law enforcement agencies and theit employees are required to obey. Individual police department policies are set by the ranking officers and can be modified at their will with enforcement just as consistent. Nationwide laws would set standards and everyone would know what is expected, for both LEOs and the public.
 
2012-05-14 11:58:58 AM

mhd: cig-mkr: Almost every other country in the world has already done this.

Actually, a pretty small subset:
Austria, Bolivia, Colombia, Côte d'Ivoire, Ecuador, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Latvia, Mexico, Netherlands, New Zealand, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Senegal, Switzerland, Turkey, Uruguay, Venezuela


Actually, it's a lot more then you think
Link
 
2012-05-14 12:02:54 PM

TrancePI: I'm more amazed that SLC, Utah has massage parlors and prostitutes at all. That's the real story here...


Come on up and take a look around. We have a lot of things that surprise most people who imagine SLC as strictly a Mormon utopia.
 
2012-05-14 12:04:57 PM

JackieRabbit: CSB: when I was a teenager, there was a notorious massage parlor in my hometown. The police decided that the happy finishes had to go before the community was hopelessly corrupted. So one day, the owner of the parlor was busted. She went to court and, though she had pleaded not guilty to prostitution, she confirmed all the allegations that the three arresting detectives had leveled against her. The judge asked her how many times had the detectives visited her establishment to collect evidence. She told him that collectively, they had been in some 60 times in the previous three months. Did they receive any happy finishes? Why, yes, each time and not just from handjobs and not just from the girls. The judge dismissed the case and called it entrapment. A few years later, state investigators audited the police evidence room and found some 200 lbs of pot was missing. Cops have the best dope!


"Everybody got it right in the ass. From the chief on down... it was beautiful."

/Kaiser Soze'd
 
2012-05-14 12:06:19 PM

Sock Ruh Tease: AgentBang: [www.infobarrel.com image 500x366]

Amateurs.

He was outnumbered.



"Would it be wrong to pick two?"

/SPOT ON!
 
2012-05-14 12:06:47 PM
28.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-05-14 12:08:19 PM
This is what's so funny about trying to legislate morality. The people supposedly "protecting" us from prostitutes can't help but use their services themselves.
 
mhd
2012-05-14 12:09:01 PM

Unsung_Hero: Technically, Canada. It's a legal occupation, you just can't have an office or advertise, or have a spouse or roomate.


cig-mkr: Actually, it's a lot more then you think


I chose to only list the countries where the whole shebang (and, well, he-bang) is legal. Prostitues being legal but advertisement/pimping/brothels being illegal is pretty common, but that practice can ranged from a tobacco-like scenario where it's just being rather over-regulated to hidden persecution, so it would be hard to define a reasonable cut off point where one would consider the market free enough.
 
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