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(LA Times)   Dear Los Angeles Farkers, If you're hiking this weekend in the hills above Burbank, and you come across an armed and suicidal FBI agent, give me a call, I seem to have misplaced mine, thank you -- Janet   (latimesblogs.latimes.com) divider line 96
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9408 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2012 at 8:24 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-13 06:33:24 PM
I am a suspicious enough person to wonder what he recently discovered and about whom.

"Suicidal" is so convenient sometimes...
 
2012-05-13 08:26:58 PM
6 ft 160? He should try suicide by cheeseburger, he might decide he wants to live once he gets off the salad and water diet.
 
2012-05-13 08:30:05 PM
You know how quickly the boys found him ... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars ... while he could only dream of getting out ... getting anywhere ... getting all the way to the FBI.
 
2012-05-13 08:30:39 PM
"He's been a valuable member of our office," said FBI Special Agent Steve Gomez.

Gomie got promoted again? Hank Schrader must be proud.
 
2012-05-13 08:31:17 PM
www.imfdb.org
 
2012-05-13 08:35:53 PM
And so it begins.
 
2012-05-13 08:37:47 PM

RivenSilver: 6 ft 160? He should try suicide by cheeseburger, he might decide he wants to live once he gets off the salad and water diet.


I'm 6'5" and was 162 lbs about 10 years ago. I'm better now,,, about 50 lbs better.

/ beer... is there anything it can't do ?
 
2012-05-13 08:38:00 PM
That's swell that someone responsible for national security ends up like that. I would have thought the FBI had some kind of monitoring program and employee assistance.
 
2012-05-13 08:39:03 PM
If I lived near Burbank, I'd head out now, I'm so sorry, and hope he turns up unharmed soon.
 
2012-05-13 08:39:05 PM
At least he won't leave a mess in the house.
 
2012-05-13 08:40:08 PM
When I lived in LA, I wanted to kill myself too.


/genuinely hope he is found ok and gets help.
 
2012-05-13 08:40:34 PM

general tso: That's swell that someone responsible for national security ends up like that. I would have thought the FBI had some kind of monitoring program and employee assistance.


That's socialism.

/ Not bootstrappy, Dude. Not... bootstrappy.
// Seriously, I hope he'll turn up okay and get the help he needs.
 
2012-05-13 08:40:49 PM
He has receding brown hair

Maybe he's looking for a Hair Club for Men ...

/nothin'
 
2012-05-13 08:43:25 PM
Is Janet really a Farker?
 
2012-05-13 08:44:56 PM
It must suck to work for the FBI... you take a few sick days and they release dogs on you.. even if it's understood you're not getting your job back.
 
2012-05-13 08:47:10 PM

RivenSilver: 6 ft 160? He should try suicide by cheeseburger, he might decide he wants to live once he gets off the salad and water diet.


I was going to make a twink joke, then I noticed the bit about the wife and 1-yo baby, and now I'm sad and wondering it that's it... :-(
 
2012-05-13 08:53:38 PM
nomadafricaadventuretours.files.wordpress.com

Found him!
 
2012-05-13 08:53:46 PM

RivenSilver: 6 ft 160? He should try suicide by cheeseburger, he might decide he wants to live once he gets off the salad and water diet.


Yeah I was thinking he might be hard to find, being able to hide behind a tree, light pole or a board on a picket fence.
 
2012-05-13 08:53:51 PM
Cover story? What did he find out that he shouldn't have?
 
2012-05-13 08:54:52 PM
I'd kill myself too if I had a receding hairline like that...

/Going bald is worse than contracting AIDS
 
2012-05-13 08:58:47 PM
Dammit, Janet...
 
2012-05-13 09:00:29 PM
What's he doing up there on Brokeback Mountain?
 
2012-05-13 09:02:26 PM

mc_madness: I'd kill myself too if I had a receding hairline like that...

/Going bald is worse than contracting AIDS


i116.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-13 09:03:56 PM

basemetal: Cover story? What did he find out that he shouldn't have?


namegoeshere: I am a suspicious enough person to wonder what he recently discovered and about whom.

"Suicidal" is so convenient sometimes...


And here I thought I'd be the only one ready to break out the tinfoil.
 
2012-05-13 09:06:02 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

You can't just do it.
 
2012-05-13 09:08:24 PM
How would anyone be able to tell the difference from the way they act all the time?
 
2012-05-13 09:08:34 PM

Hawnkee: Dammit, Janet...


Well played
 
2012-05-13 09:09:55 PM

namegoeshere: I am a suspicious enough person to wonder what he recently discovered and about whom.

"Suicidal" is so convenient sometimes...


Over in 1 IMO!
 
2012-05-13 09:10:19 PM
Damaged goods
 
2012-05-13 09:10:21 PM

namegoeshere: I am a suspicious enough person to wonder what he recently discovered and about whom.

"Suicidal" is so convenient sometimes...


I think you about nailed it.
 
2012-05-13 09:11:38 PM
Heh, maybe he knows the full scope of the NDAA and is hiding from a targeted drone strike.
Wish I was kidding.
 
2012-05-13 09:11:49 PM

namegoeshere: I am a suspicious enough person to wonder what he recently discovered and about whom.

"Suicidal" is so convenient sometimes...

 
2012-05-13 09:11:59 PM

KangTheMad: If I lived near Burbank, I'd head out now, I'm so sorry, and hope he turns up unharmed soon.


I live in Burbank (fairly near the Verdugo foothills), so I'm not getting a kick.
 
2012-05-13 09:14:25 PM

namegoeshere: I am a suspicious enough person to wonder what he recently discovered and about whom.
"Suicidal" is so convenient sometimes...



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
 
2012-05-13 09:14:29 PM
Jesus, it's the freakin' Zodiac composite sketch.
 
2012-05-13 09:15:57 PM

fusillade762: basemetal: Cover story? What did he find out that he shouldn't have?

namegoeshere: I am a suspicious enough person to wonder what he recently discovered and about whom.

"Suicidal" is so convenient sometimes...

And here I thought I'd be the only one ready to break out the tinfoil.


There's a reason I invested heavily in the Reynold's corporation...
 
2012-05-13 09:17:09 PM

noazark: KangTheMad: If I lived near Burbank, I'd head out now, I'm so sorry, and hope he turns up unharmed soon.

I live in Burbank (fairly near the Verdugo foothills), so I'm not getting a kick.


Yep, about 2 mi from me.

Think I'll stay in and drink one of these...mmmm
 
2012-05-13 09:18:35 PM

RivenSilver: 6 ft 160? He should try suicide by cheeseburger, he might decide he wants to live once he gets off the salad and water diet.


I'm 6'1", 146lbs and just finished three tacos. Some people just have good metabolism, just so you know.
 
2012-05-13 09:23:42 PM

libranoelrose: Is Janet really a Farker?


The whole FBI is a Farker...Just quote some taliban message, I dares ya
 
2012-05-13 09:25:07 PM

ultraholland: You know how quickly the boys found him ... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars ... while he could only dream of getting out ... getting anywhere ... getting all the way to the FBI.


Huh?
 
2012-05-13 09:28:49 PM

Mikeyworld: libranoelrose: Is Janet really a Farker?

The whole FBI is a Farker...Just quote some taliban message, I dares ya


Allah is the light!
 
2012-05-13 09:28:53 PM

general tso: That's swell that someone responsible for national security ends up like that. I would have thought the FBI had some kind of monitoring program and employee assistance.


Because it's so easy to go to your boss and say: "Hey, I've really been depressed and wanting to die lately."

I'm sure you've done it on countless occasions and don't even work in a high-security job.
 
2012-05-13 09:31:10 PM

Twist2005: ultraholland: You know how quickly the boys found him ... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars ... while he could only dream of getting out ... getting anywhere ... getting all the way to the FBI.

Huh?


C'mon man, that's not even close to obscure.

It's a quote from Hannibal Lecter to Clarice in "The Silence of the Lambs"
 
2012-05-13 09:31:56 PM
I'm glad she found work
www.probertencyclopaedia.com
 
2012-05-13 09:34:21 PM

Hawnkee: Dammit, Janet...


Came for this... thanks for the happy ending!!! :-)
 
2012-05-13 09:38:43 PM

noazark: KangTheMad: If I lived near Burbank, I'd head out now, I'm so sorry, and hope he turns up unharmed soon.

I live in Burbank (fairly near the Verdugo foothills), so I'm not getting a kick.


So uh, what am I missing here?
 
2012-05-13 09:39:57 PM

KangTheMad: Mikeyworld: libranoelrose: Is Janet really a Farker?

The whole FBI is a Farker...Just quote some taliban message, I dares ya

Allah is the light!


Dying to see Cuba?
 
2012-05-13 09:40:09 PM
www.hotflick.net

Sure you are, you wrote a really touching suicide note, too.
 
2012-05-13 09:40:52 PM

BigLuca: I'm glad she found work
[www.probertencyclopaedia.com image 271x300]


3's Company? Oh please. You know Jack was gay or the girls didn't play for the Man team. They would have hooked up. And their landords the Ropers? Had to be swingers.

/shiat you learn watching a show at 11 years old not understanding innuendo.
 
2012-05-13 09:44:45 PM

general tso: That's swell that someone responsible for national security ends up like that. I would have thought the FBI had some kind of monitoring program and employee assistance.


Well, people go crazy here in L.A.
Still beats the shiat out of living where you do.
 
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