Jensaarai: Calling it now:

Biffle's best shot at a championship.

Hey I know what paint job needs to be on a Ford.

A Carroll Shelby homage.

Two racing stripes and a ball around the number

Dumb-Ass-Monkey: [i205.photobucket.com image 640x480]

BURN JIMMIE BURN

(dumps some more gasoline on that flaming idol) BURN JIMMIE BURN!

That guy's twitter is @The_ChrisMyers?

YO SOY EL CHRIS MYERS

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DONT SPEAK SPANISH
EL CHRIS MYERS IS SHORT FOR

THE CHRIS MYERS

radiofreewill: Aaaaaaaand Jeff's tire problems are so JJ can get win #200.

Whoever is running the idol tonight:

You have one shot at turning that thing up to the max. HOP TO IT! MOAR IDOL POWERZZZZ!

FiendishFellow05: And Kurt Busch goes sliding for sponsors!

Sliding for sponsors is trying to find me.....

Y'know, I think Truex is the true heir to Michael Waltrip making the race official. 5 years since his only win, driving for MW, and a frequent visitor in the wall.

What say you, Fark Sports? Shall he be the new Makes It Official driver?

Go Smoke.

/that is all for now
//burn Jimmie burn

Tony remember when JJ bumped you out of the way so he could win?

Remind him

The harder JJ has to drive, the faster he'll burn that gas!

C'mon Tony, make JJ lose!!

Fun fact: Sorenson is *still* two spots in front of she who shall not be named.

mikaloyd: Time to rip this race out of JJ's hands.

/reaches allll the way over to TKat's idol with a brazillion straws linked together.


/ resets idol power to 2 fisted slobber knocker

Go Smoke!

You go, Smoke!!

DAMNITTOHELL!!! Reed, you task me! Why do you task me? (starts rubbing furiously on his own anti-48 idol)

While we were away: We learned Reed Sorenson was in this race.

@nascarcasm
WEATHER UPDATE: FUEL-MILEAGE WATCH canceled for Darlington and surrounding areas.

FiendishFellow05: And now I'm being forced to watch Puss 'n Boots. Anyone got an 'alternative source'?

http://www.coolsport.tv/stream2.php

DanZero: LOTUS?!

Yup.

Hamsters not included.

-----------

I've actually been thinking of doing a Shelby GT40 paint scheme. Maybe Gulf livery?

radiofreewill: Which means I'm stuck with a supervisor who insists there's a conspiracy to screw Jeff Gordon. Tonight's theory: Gordon's problems are Jimmie Johnson's fault because Jimmie keeps stealing all Jeff's good parts.

What_Would_Jimi_Do: What_Would_Jimi_Do: mikaloyd: A Carroll Shelby homage.

imho, the california daytona coupe GT 40 is the baddest car ever made.

radiofreewill: Sorry I'm late; picked up some OT at work.

Which means I'm stuck with a supervisor who insists there's a conspiracy to screw Jeff Gordon. Tonight's theory: Gordon's problems are Jimmie Johnson's fault because Jimmie keeps stealing all Jeff's good parts.

*headdesk infinitum*

In all fairness, JJ did steal his crew.

radiofreewill: Sorry I'm late; picked up some OT at work.

Which means I'm stuck with a supervisor who insists there's a conspiracy to screw Jeff Gordon. Tonight's theory: Gordon's problems are Jimmie Johnson's fault because Jimmie keeps stealing all Jeff's good parts.

*headdesk infinitum*

well, they stole his crew mid-race a while back, so that conspiracy theory isn't totally unfounded.

"We're screwed!"

THAT'S Napa Know How

Sorry I'm late; picked up some OT at work.

Which means I'm stuck with a supervisor who insists there's a conspiracy to screw Jeff Gordon. Tonight's theory: Gordon's problems are Jimmie Johnson's fault because Jimmie keeps stealing all Jeff's good parts.

*headdesk infinitum*

catastrophe averted: McMurray gets Wallmendinger'd

GODDAMNITSOMUCH, AJ!!! You just *had* to go and bail out the 48, didn't you?!?!?!

DINGER! DAMMIT!

WALLMENDINGER!

Jensaarai: mikaloyd: Jensaarai: Calling it now:

Biffle's best shot at a championship.

Hey I know what paint job needs to be on a Ford.

A Carroll Shelby homage.

Two racing stripes and a ball around the number

[www.offroadexperience.com image 546x415]

[cobb.typepad.com image 640x480]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]

[www.9news.com image 640x360]

[www.motorsportscenter.com image 500x324]

[gearpatrol.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com image 640x443]

Shouldn't be too hard:
[i.imgur.com image 500x413]


/It darkens on the track

LOTUS?!

mikaloyd: Jensaarai: Calling it now:

Biffle's best shot at a championship.

Hey I know what paint job needs to be on a Ford.

A Carroll Shelby homage.

Two racing stripes and a ball around the number

[www.offroadexperience.com image 546x415]

[cobb.typepad.com image 640x480]

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]

[www.9news.com image 640x360]

[www.motorsportscenter.com image 500x324]

[gearpatrol.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com image 640x443]

Shouldn't be too hard:



/It darkens on the track

C'mon Kyle, wreck JJ!

@nascarcasm

Oh no - Allmendinger has damage. Bring him in for 4 tires, fuel, an affirmation and some Prozac

DanZero: OK JJ's leading

put those damn yellow flags away

And he's possibly 3 laps short on fuel, due to not pitting.

mikaloyd: A Carroll Shelby homage.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Furniture Rowe'D

*pacedog*

good_2_go: Jeff Gluck @jeff_gluck
Expecting Tony Stewart to say after the race: "My clutch was perfect. Never had a better one in my career. Wish they all could be like this"

Haha I love that guy.

@nascarcasm
Danica nails committment cone - Michael Waltrip lowers grade to A-.

rhiannon: The Bestest: Fireproof: DanZero: A large increase in acne and hair?

DID YOU TAKE SOME OF MY ANDROGEL? Get back and make me a sammich.

WTF is "low-testosterone" anyhow, other than just having, you know, less testosterone?

Low T can actually lead to some serious conditions if left untreated.

Like watching Glee.

Now that's a show that could use some warnings

SIDE BY SIDE -- HALLELUJAH

The Bestest: Smoke should really change his car's OS from Win 98

B-but-but Windows ME....

NOT SMOKE!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Kurt is running for a Hendrick satellite team. PLEASE tell me the 24 crew is pitting the 51 right now.

JJ needs to be "tighter, longer?"

*signs endorsement with Cialis*

PeriRies: Dammit Bobby

That boy ain't right

PeriRies: catastrophe averted: How many horrible side effects does a medication need before it's judged unfit to advertise?

That's what I was wondering.

"Androgel may cause Global Thermonuclear War in your butthole, so consult your doctor...."

"Safe for human consumption" my ass, FDA.

The Bestest: that poor cone...

catastrophe averted: Nice cone smack, Danica.

Can you blame her? She likes VLC!

It plays anything!



/and it skips DVDs right to the menu!

catastrophe averted: How many horrible side effects does a medication need before it's judged unfit to advertise?

That's what I was wondering.

"Androgel may cause Global Thermonuclear War in your butthole, so consult your doctor...."

PSA: That cool red looking restaurant in New Orleans they go around in the AT&T commercial while playing Creedence Clearwater, Muriel's, is actually pretty good, despite being one of those expensive fancy kind of touristy places you'd take a date and expect to pay too much for mediocre food.

Jensaarai: Bob Dolemite: Ryan Newman's comment on how to improve Talladega: "We could go out there and run rental cars and run 75 miles an hour and make it a 100-mile race and put on a good show."

So... stock car racing?

Zing!

Bob Dolemite: Ryan Newman's comment on how to improve Talladega: "We could go out there and run rental cars and run 75 miles an hour and make it a 100-mile race and put on a good show."

So... stock car racing?

FiendishFellow05: Jensaarai: Jensaarai: Dumb-Ass-Monkey: FiendishFellow05: Jensaarai: Calling it now:

Biffle's best shot at a championship.

I would LOVE to see that. First guy to win one in all three national touring series.

Kyle came the very closest do doing that.

He doesn't have a truck series championship, though he could probably get one if he wanted.

Him and Carl Edwards are also the only two I would ever expect to be able to win all 3 in one year.

Eh, I didn't mean in one year, just over the span of a career.

Right. I was just adding that if anyone could currently do *that* it would be.

Biffle, Benson, and Bobby Labonte are the only 3 I know who currently have 2 of 3 championships. I suppose Bobby could hit the truck series for the lulz.

catastrophe averted: Dear AT&T: We've had enough "race breaks." Please stop it.

@nascarcasm
I respect Danica, but if Mikey Waltrip thinks she deserves an A+ for tonight's performance, then I wish I had him as a professor in college

vegaswench: emonk: I wonder if Tony will crash with Newman to "give the fans what they want" this week.

What did you guys think of his rant last week?

Truly awesome.

-----------

HOLY BIFF!

Jensaarai: I'm not exactly old, but if you asked me what the July Daytona race was, "Pepsi 400" and "Firecracker 400" would come to mind loooong before I actually remembered it's now the "Coke Zero 400."

It's the freaking Cola Wars 400.

emonk: I wonder if Tony will crash with Newman to "give the fans what they want" this week.

What did you guys think of his rant last week?

Train "This Will Be My Year" does not appear anywhere on Jeff Gordon's playlist.

/snap!

That race off pit road made me want greasy pancakes and sausage.

88 lucky dog caution.

/whar debris?
//WHAR?

DanZero: catastrophe averted: Michael gives Danica an A+ for tonight. Wow. Just wow.

cameroncrazy1984: "You have to give her an A+ for tonight's performance"

I'm sorry, no I don't give out A+ for 3 laps down in 30th position.

People, people, we *know* his standards.

She hasn't crashed yet?

Damn ypi\u announdcers why you talk about cars that down laps like danica and JR and Gordon? You know it makes Farkers sad.

catastrophe averted: How did JJ fall back to 8th? I was making a sammich and missed this.

Idol power. TK may not be here, but others have been heeding the call. God bless them.

Fireproof: DanZero: Fireproof: //Welcome to he cold, cruel, uncaring real world

I was talking about he job market, but hey.

I just needed a way to use that. Actually was gonna save it for that "female driver with us" tonight.

I didn't want to watch it, JJ

good_2_go: Jim Utter @jim_utter
NEW TRACK RECORD ... Longest stretch of green-flag racing to being a Darlington race

/sic

No Fun League?

Gonz: Huh. Boring, soulless racing with no real rivals and storylines, and the 48 is leading.

You don't say.

That's because NASCAR, in it's infinite wisdom, decided to "fix" the cars so that they couldn't actually race close to each other, thereby eliminating the elements that actually made a NASCAR race fun to watch (i.e. cars bouncing off each other, pushing each other around, and punting each other into the walls).

The Bestest: mikaloyd: Official drink of Darlington COT body straighteners[djblackadam.typepad.com image 367x392]

..but do they have their spines?

I get how Hamlin's car is supposed to be a tribute.. you know, minus the colors and all.

But does anyone else think it looks like one of those old Marlboro race cars? Or at least what one would look like if they were ever in NASCAR?

That inside groove is not gonna work for JJ. So...keep using it!

DanZero: Is TK here? We need a super idol rub tonight

JJ is asking for it mocking the Lady in Black gy painting his car black.

Is TK here? We need a super idol rub tonight

HEY DID YOU KNOW DANICA PATRICK IS IN THIS RACE?!

Another Nascarcasm gem that I saved that was posted a few nights ago:

"American Idol" - where nation's undiscovered singing talent is critiqued by someone currently onstage lip-syncing an auto-tuned track.

mikaloyd:The lady in black is right next to pacedog

What you did there, (now) I see it. +1

DanZero: mikaloyd: Welcome to Darlington race fans!

Its gonna get good



[i640.photobucket.com image 347x434]
This time i\ts just to keep the wall off the newbs.

Next time its to peel disrespectful drivers off the wall.

Any way you could a Darlington stripe on pacedog?

The lady in black is right next to pacedog

mikaloyd: Welcome to Darlington race fans!

Its gonna get good



[i640.photobucket.com image 347x434]
This time i\ts just to keep the wall off the newbs.

Next time its to peel disrespectful drivers off the wall.

Any way you could a Darlington stripe on pacedog?

@nascarcasm To honor moms tonight, Kurt Busch will refrain from adding his standard two-syllable suffix after screaming "MOTHER..."

From NASCAR,com:

"6:57 p.m. ET -- Michael Waltrip just said he likes Danica Patrick's eyeballs. I really have nothing to add to that."

Ditto.

ClavellBCMI: soopey: Anyone know when green flag is? I'm cooking steaks and rice right now.

Look up-thread, I posted it earlier in reply to DanZero.

I didn't ask when the race started, but I did take notice of it. Thanks for posting that, so I can avoid all the FOX crap

Also befre I get back to business, MRN has been on since 6:00 and has spent half the time in full blown 'Danica Danica Danica!' mode.

@nascarcasm
Tonight, all pieces of debris will be referred to as "Danica" - that way the cameras will be SURE to show it when caution comes out.

/hi all

Seriously, has anybody sobered up from last night's thread/drinking game?

/didn't see it until it was over
//no drinking tonight; I R WORKING!
///Twitter on standby

Anyone know when the actual green flag time is? I don't feel like sitting through an hour of pre race talk when I can just race online or watch paint dry.

The Bestest: Haters need to stop hatin'. Danica will be the Darlington Darling as her true skills shine to bring home another win for SHR. She'll be the woman of the hour just in time for Mother's Day and a precursor to her getting a full-time ride in next year's Cup.

Damn, NASCAR would love that, pull in more women, and make her a villain(ess) for the traditionalists. I'm almost rooting for her just because of the shiatstorm that would happen.

/not happening, though
/GO BIFF

downstairs: But, unless I'm mistaken, the Indy 500 is race 5 of 16?

Well, part of it is the 'event' nature of the track, and another part of it was the track isn't that bland when it comes to IndyCars. But at this point a lot of it is tradition. In the older days, deals would develop over the month of May to put out of work drivers in different cars, trying to bump other teams from the field. Not too long ago Tony Stewart showed up to the track on the last day of qualification and was set to bump his way into the field until Chevrolet put a damper on the whole thing.

That said, this year it IS the first time they've run the oval package competitively.

Meanwhile, today is the first day of practice at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.