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(Cracked)   This... this is why sane people are cat people   (cracked.com) divider line 129
    More: Asinine, PARTY PLANNER, baby showers, Edwardian  
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27383 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2012 at 9:24 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-12 07:11:15 AM  
Trust me Subster, there a plenty of Cat People that are just as stupid. It's just that cats won't put up some of the stupid on that list.
 
2012-05-12 08:31:25 AM  
Yeah, I wouldn't go THAT far, subby. Let's get real, here. All pet owners can get pretty weird about their pets.

Though I have yet to see a tarantula wedding.
 
2012-05-12 09:29:28 AM  
icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-05-12 09:30:17 AM  

Lando Lincoln: Yeah, I wouldn't go THAT far, subby. Let's get real, here. All pet owners can get pretty weird about their pets.

Though I have yet to see a tarantula wedding.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-05-12 09:30:21 AM  
My Georgie.

img687.imageshack.us
 
2012-05-12 09:31:07 AM  
No subby, crazy cat ladies disprove your theory. Reptile owners are the sane ones(except for the ones that get their jollies from owning venomous)
 
2012-05-12 09:33:49 AM  
It's just easier to put stupid clothes on dogs. Cats can freak out psychotically if you try to put even a harness on them.

\used to put a doll dress on my pet rat but she always wiggled out
 
2012-05-12 09:38:57 AM  
Ahem.

2.bp.blogspot.com

You were saying something about how cat people were the sane ones, subby?
 
2012-05-12 09:39:48 AM  
Living 12 minutes north of Boca Raton FL, I can completely assure you that these businesses are real, and they are making a shedload of money on them.

Two of my clients are Pet Portrait Artists, and they claim $2k on the low end. Maybe takes two days to knock out. It really is a ridiculous business - but what the hell do I know, I'm still poor.
 
2012-05-12 09:40:03 AM  
Hmm... I could knock out these luxury dog beds in a few hours. I wonder if that market is saturated yet.
 
2012-05-12 09:40:40 AM  

Oldiron_79: No subby, crazy cat ladies disprove your theory. Reptile owners are the sane ones(except for the ones that get their jollies from owning venomous)


I've heard reptile owners described as a lot of different things. This is the first time "sane" has come up.
 
2012-05-12 09:42:07 AM  
Cat's pee/shiat in a box, walk around in it and then go walk on the kitchen counters and your pillows. fark that nonsense.
 
2012-05-12 09:42:12 AM  

wildcardjack: Hmm... I could knock out these luxury dog beds in a few hours. I wonder if that market is saturated yet.


Truthfully the challenge to all these types of products is finding rich suckers. There's tremendous competition for keeping their attention until the money is gone.
 
2012-05-12 09:42:42 AM  
$99 a day for boarding is way more than Id ever pay, but in some places that's not that crazy. Especially when compared to some of the other dog crazy on that list.
 
2012-05-12 09:45:16 AM  
Anthropomorphizing (that might be the biggest word I've busted out on Fark in a while) your animals to this degree is not being loving to them. In fact, I think it's bordering on cruelty. Those dogs squeezed into those "wedding dresses" probably hate them and would rip them off with their teeth if they could, but their natural sense of loyalty to the pack keeps them from doing that.

You can love a dog or a cat and realize that they are animals and should be thought of and treated in that way. Your dog wants steak, not a farking birthday party.
 
2012-05-12 09:46:04 AM  
Carth: Oldiron_79: No subby, crazy cat ladies disprove your theory. Reptile owners are the sane ones(except for the ones that get their jollies from owning venomous)

I've heard reptile owners described as a lot of different things. This is the first time "sane" has come up.


Maybe if you are a prude that considers BDSM to be insanity. Pretty much 100% of reptile owners are HELL BENT FOR LEATHER
 
2012-05-12 09:46:07 AM  
Wise man once say, "The only thing better than the cutrest cat in the world is any dog."
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-05-12 09:46:42 AM  
Pet escort? Is that full service?
 
2012-05-12 09:47:05 AM  
Yeah. Choosing to own an animal that scratches the hell out of everything you own, and then pisses and craps in a pile of sand in a box that you keep inside your home is a sure sign of sanity
 
2012-05-12 09:49:32 AM  

bim1154: Cat's pee/shiat in a box, walk around in it and then go walk on the kitchen counters and your pillows. fark that nonsense.


If they even bother to make it to the box. Then they lick their ass and smear it all over the rest of their body.
 
2012-05-12 09:50:25 AM  
I wonder how much they pay to sleep with the dogs?

www.dogmt.com
 
2012-05-12 09:51:25 AM  
cdn1.tauntr.com
 
2012-05-12 09:52:31 AM  
I own (non-costumed, non-portraited) cats and a dog, so I'm getting a kick...

/used to have ferrets, too
//miss my carpet sharks
 
2012-05-12 09:52:32 AM  
Yes, cat people are the sane ones. That's why you have Caturday and the internet, a place well-known for its sanity and rational discourse, is ruled by them.
 
2012-05-12 09:53:36 AM  
I'm pretty sure any caturday LOL cat thread would disprove this.
 
2012-05-12 09:54:01 AM  
OK, I have two cats and I have to admit that I have a pet party planner. It is a a pair of tupperware containers, one with cat nip and one with cat treats. Both sit on top of my fridge and every once in a while I take one down and reward my cats. That is about as close as I get to being a crazy cat person.
 
2012-05-12 09:55:36 AM  
Oh and cat feces may literally make you crazy...
 
2012-05-12 09:56:18 AM  
 
2012-05-12 09:57:30 AM  

Mock26: OK, I have two cats and I have to admit that I have a pet party planner. It is a a pair of tupperware containers, one with cat nip and one with cat treats. Both sit on top of my fridge and every once in a while I take one down and reward my cats. That is about as close as I get to being a crazy cat person.


You should be locked away for your own safety and the safety of those around you.

They are CATS not PEOPLE, darnitall!

/caps for the xtra-speshul emphasus
 
2012-05-12 09:59:23 AM  

Ennuipoet: Trust me Subster, there a plenty of Cat People that are just as stupid. It's just that cats won't put up some of the stupid on that list.


Cat people are pretty farking crazy... but Dog people seem to be pretty desperate to have that label applied to them as well. It's like Caturday and lolcats caused dog lovers to go insane with jealousy.
 
2012-05-12 10:11:20 AM  
i.crackedcdn.com

Is it aliens?
 
2012-05-12 10:13:20 AM  
www.shitmydadsends.com

I had a picture of just the Crazy Cat Lady, but this one was better.
 
2012-05-12 10:15:34 AM  

TomServo24: Not so fast subby, Here's Seanbaby's counter-argument.


I have multiple cat books. They are the complete collection of every Far Side book every printed as well as the large 3-volume anthology. Of course, they also count as cow books and dog books and old lady books.
 
2012-05-12 10:20:59 AM  
When I was a single man, I found the Cat-Scale to be astronomically useful (and accurate) when judging the "life-mate" potential of the women I dated:

- 0 cats: warning; may indicate she's away from home for long periods of time (e.g. "partying" all weekend with a rugby team)
- 1 cat: green; generally the hallmark of normal, well adjusted, single woman
- 2 cats: yellow; check for signs of craziness and/or entitlement (e.g. "My cats are the only men who haven't let me down, etc.")
- 3+ cats: red; Run; run like the wind; under no circumstances give your real name or phone number
 
2012-05-12 10:21:17 AM  
Damn near every pet owner I've ever met loses some part of his or her rational thinking. That's ok, but it is the creepy pet fetishists that scare the sh*t out of me.

The ones who cannot comprehend why a child is in more danger when a pitbull lives next door compared to living next to a beagle.

The ones who immediately ostracize the owner of a pet that gets loose and causes damage. That owner is irresponsible, I'm not! - they say, until their pet gets loose and causes damage; then it's an unfortunate accident.

The ones who would pay any amount of money a vet demanded to save their pet.

Creeeeeeeeeeepy.
 
2012-05-12 10:23:29 AM  

BigSlowTarget: wildcardjack: Hmm... I could knock out these luxury dog beds in a few hours. I wonder if that market is saturated yet.

Truthfully the challenge to all these types of products is finding rich suckers. There's tremendous competition for keeping their attention until the money is gone.




Wealthy inherited money or retirement money managed well.

Some folks have millions extra that they are told they must spend, for tax reasons. The money will never be gone.
 
2012-05-12 10:25:55 AM  
I support cat people.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-05-12 10:30:14 AM  

McManus_brothers: Lando Lincoln: Yeah, I wouldn't go THAT far, subby. Let's get real, here. All pet owners can get pretty weird about their pets.

Though I have yet to see a tarantula wedding.

[i.imgur.com image 400x300]


*giggles*
 
2012-05-12 10:32:38 AM  

WhippingBoy: When I was a single man, I found the Cat-Scale to be astronomically useful (and accurate) when judging the "life-mate" potential of the women I dated:

- 0 cats: warning; may indicate she's away from home for long periods of time (e.g. "partying" all weekend with a rugby team)
- 1 cat: green; generally the hallmark of normal, well adjusted, single woman
- 2 cats: yellow; check for signs of craziness and/or entitlement (e.g. "My cats are the only men who haven't let me down, etc.")
- 3+ cats: red; Run; run like the wind; under no circumstances give your real name or phone number


I consider 1 and 2 cats to be the same. It is very common for a lot of people to have two cats. It is definitely not twice as much work a nd it provides the cats with some company while you are away. I would out 3 cats at yellow and 4 as red. But, that is just me.
 
2012-05-12 10:39:28 AM  

Mugato: I support cat people.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x325]


michaelmay.us

The Simone Simon version is a lot better, but the 80s version DID give us that awesome song for Inglorious Basterds.

I've always thought they should have done a reboot/sequel to the 40s version that tied into the backstory of Irena's family being from Serbia by setting it during the Yugoslav Wars or the Kosovo War, possibly with a downed American pilot during the NATO air campaign who is trying to get to safety and encounters a group of her people who have been uprooted because of ethnic tensions during the war, and they both have to fight for survival against Milošević's troops.
 
2012-05-12 10:42:09 AM  

Mock26: WhippingBoy: When I was a single man, I found the Cat-Scale to be astronomically useful (and accurate) when judging the "life-mate" potential of the women I dated:

- 0 cats: warning; may indicate she's away from home for long periods of time (e.g. "partying" all weekend with a rugby team)
- 1 cat: green; generally the hallmark of normal, well adjusted, single woman
- 2 cats: yellow; check for signs of craziness and/or entitlement (e.g. "My cats are the only men who haven't let me down, etc.")
- 3+ cats: red; Run; run like the wind; under no circumstances give your real name or phone number

I consider 1 and 2 cats to be the same. It is very common for a lot of people to have two cats. It is definitely not twice as much work a nd it provides the cats with some company while you are away. I would out 3 cats at yellow and 4 as red. But, that is just me.


lol we have a cat scale, too. here's the breakdown:

1 - she's normal
2 - be wary but she's probably just fine
3 - okay some yellow flags should be triggering, proceed with caution
4 - unless there is strong evidence to the contrary she's crazy
5 cats crazy - yup, there is no grey area, she is insane. RUN.
 
2012-05-12 10:44:14 AM  
owangotang
The ones who cannot comprehend why a child is in more danger when a pitbull lives next door compared to living next to a beagle.

3/10
 
2012-05-12 10:48:32 AM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: owangotang
The ones who cannot comprehend why a child is in more danger when a pitbull lives next door compared to living next to a beagle.

5/10


Just because a lot of people actually think that.
 
2012-05-12 10:54:54 AM  

Owangotang: The ones who cannot comprehend why a child is in more danger when a pitbull lives next door compared to living next to a beagle.


My beagle will f*ck a little kid up.
 
2012-05-12 10:57:50 AM  

Carth: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: owangotang
The ones who cannot comprehend why a child is in more danger when a pitbull lives next door compared to living next to a beagle.

5/10

Just because a lot of people actually think that.


I concur with owangotang. I think most think potential. I think capability.
 
2012-05-12 10:58:48 AM  
People who don't like pets creep me out. Usually they are distant, self-centered and I wouldn't want them around children period.
 
2012-05-12 11:02:38 AM  

Grouchy Old Bear: Carth: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: owangotang
The ones who cannot comprehend why a child is in more danger when a pitbull lives next door compared to living next to a beagle.

5/10

Just because a lot of people actually think that.

I concur with owangotang. I think most think potential. I think capability.


Any large dog has the capability to do serious damage with a bite. In the '70s they blamed Dobermans, in the '80s they blamed German Shepherds, in the '90s they blamed Rottweilers. Now they blame Pit Bulls. In a another few years I'm sure some new breed will emerge to terrify the public.
 
2012-05-12 11:07:55 AM  

Carth: Grouchy Old Bear: Carth: MusicMakeMyHeadPound: owangotang
The ones who cannot comprehend why a child is in more danger when a pitbull lives next door compared to living next to a beagle.

5/10

Just because a lot of people actually think that.

I concur with owangotang. I think most think potential. I think capability.

Any large dog has the capability to do serious damage with a bite. In the '70s they blamed Dobermans, in the '80s they blamed German Shepherds, in the '90s they blamed Rottweilers. Now they blame Pit Bulls. In a another few years I'm sure some new breed will emerge to terrify the public.


Yup.

Any dog that has been bred as protectors/guardians can be dangerous if not handled appropriately. Just like shepherding breeds tend to get neurotic and destructive if not mentally stimulated.

They were made to fend off threats. Dippy animal lovers tend to think all dogs are the same. They are not.

That being said, all dogs have the potential to red zone if not handled correctly. Yes, beagles too.
 
2012-05-12 11:09:04 AM  
This is why the rest of the world hates us.
 
2012-05-12 11:12:43 AM  
As the owner of a one of these shops, I the only thing I stock are pet portraits by local artists. I also have little teeshirts and outfits for dogs who are participating in their owner's weddings. Because that is farking cute.

The people who spend most on their pets are the people who probably can't afford it. 90% of my wealthy clientele act like they're dying on the vine and that pet quality pet food is ridiculous. These same rich people will spend $50 on a pet groom but then put a stiff with filth, ratty collar on their freshly washed dogs. We have collars that cost less than 5 bucks but these guys won't spend on it.

Thanks be to Dog for our middle class and poorer customers for keeping us in business, the rich keep their money. (And don't say the rich are smarter for not spending money on their pet) they don't buy necessities like toothpaste ("dogs don't need their teeth brushed!"), fun toys ("he still has a tennis ball in the back yard"). These are the same people who will tell me a 30 minute series of droning stories of all their dog's behaviors during the past 7 thunderstorms when given advice on 5 products which will help alleviate the thunderphobia say cool and come back a week later and say "I bought one of those Thundershirts you told me about on Amazon, no sales tax!" So fark the rich, they contribute nothing. Certainly not much to their pet's happiness and well being.
 
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