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(Daily Mail)   Geraldo Rivera claims he was 'manually raped' by TSA officials, proving the TSA does offer some value   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 71
    More: Dumbass, Geraldo Rivera, TSA, Steve Doocy, embarrassment, Gretchen Carlson, enhanced interrogation  
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6146 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2012 at 3:14 AM (3 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-05-11 11:55:47 PM  
As opposed to automatically raped?
 
2012-05-11 11:59:31 PM  

Fark Me To Tears: As opposed to automatically raped?


I was just thinking - they really should look into ways to automate the Geraldo-rape process.
 
2012-05-12 12:12:10 AM  
Tyh only way we win is if Geraldo's mustache detaches itself from his face and strangles both him and the TSA agents, then walks away humming the music from the "Its a Small World" ride.
 
2012-05-12 12:31:35 AM  
Cue the big special where he intends to open the mystery of his anus. Of course it will be devoid of anything interesting, except for trace quantities of synthetic lubricant.
 
2012-05-12 12:50:50 AM  
The hell with manually raped

/that asshat should just be man raped
 
2012-05-12 01:19:39 AM  

SilentStrider: Tyh only way we win is if Geraldo's mustache detaches itself from his face and strangles both him and the TSA agents, then walks away humming the music from the "Its a Small World" ride.


I was in a Tennessee Williams play called Virus Career where I played a character called Tue McCool. The director wanted me to have a mustache but I shave twice a month whether I need it or not so a real mustache was out of the question. So a suitable fake was procured.

I had a rape scene in the play (my first nudity role) and after I finished the rape I noticed my upper lip felt a little chilly. That was how we learned it was going to take more than spirit gum to make my mustache withstand the awesome force of my rapes.

The mustache was eventually found somewhere backstage. And people wonder why I switched from doing comics to acting. Why draw rape when I can act it out before a live audience? Granted I couldn't convince the director that my character should be a futanari cat-girl with multiple tentacle dicks, so I can't say acting leaves me completely satisfied as an artist. But sacrifices must be made.
 
2012-05-12 01:22:18 AM  
Um... The play was called vieux carre. Not Virus Career. Posting from my phone. Autocorrected. Although Virus Career sounds like a play that would have a tentacle rape scene in it.
 
2012-05-12 01:25:10 AM  
And my characters name was Tye McCool. Stupid Autocorrect messing with my posts.

Well I'm off now to grease a duck for a throat ride.

You heard me.
 
2012-05-12 03:15:25 AM  
I hope Manuel at least bought him dinner first.
 
2012-05-12 03:17:14 AM  
He was probably wearing a hoodie, in which case he certainly brought this on himself.
 
2012-05-12 03:18:03 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: As opposed to automatically raped?


Mechanically raped?
 
2012-05-12 03:18:35 AM  
I'd like to manually rape his wife.
 
2012-05-12 03:20:18 AM  

Ghastly: Granted I couldn't convince the director that my character should be a futanari cat-girl with multiple tentacle dicks



farking fascists.
 
2012-05-12 03:21:26 AM  
cdn2.holytaco.com
 
2012-05-12 03:22:10 AM  
Never mind that shiat, here comes Mongo!
 
2012-05-12 03:22:39 AM  

Ghastly: Granted I couldn't convince the director that my character should be a futanari cat-girl with multiple tentacle dicks


THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
 
2012-05-12 03:23:38 AM  

SilentStrider: Tyh only way we win is if Geraldo's mustache detaches itself from his face and strangles both him and the TSA agents, then walks away humming the music from the "Its a Small World" ride.


Even better, his mustache should turn into the Clock Tower from "Epic Mickey" and smash and crush him and every TSA agent in range.

images.wikia.com

Then it walks away humming this version of the Small World theme
 
2012-05-12 03:24:04 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: As opposed to automatically raped?


You get more power and control with manual rape, but most people prefer the convenience of automatic rape, especially in the city.
 
2012-05-12 03:24:12 AM  
Loved the headline Subby.
 
2012-05-12 03:24:43 AM  

Yuri Futanari: Ghastly: Granted I couldn't convince the director that my character should be a futanari cat-girl with multiple tentacle dicks

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE


Yuri? GTFO. No vaginas allowed here
 
2012-05-12 03:29:02 AM  
You know what boss? The same thing happened to Geraldo and his career never recovered....


2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-05-12 03:35:39 AM  
www.oilpress.com

GIS for manual rape. ???? farked if i know.
 
2012-05-12 03:38:05 AM  
Geraldo plans to turn the footage from his anal cavity search into a 2 hour special.

History will repeat itself, and nothing will be found except dust and an empty bottle.
 
2012-05-12 03:44:43 AM  
How many 15 minute allotments does that scumbag get, anyway?
 
2012-05-12 03:47:57 AM  
Holy fark! Within the past hour, I have agreed with JWoww and approved of something the TSA has done. o.O

I think I need a stiff drink, before I take a shower to wash away the shame.
 
2012-05-12 03:57:54 AM  

Ghastly: Well I'm off now to grease a duck for a throat ride.


If that is a euphemism for something, can you explain it to the elderly?
 
mjg
2012-05-12 04:04:52 AM  
The Taiwan animation kids are gonna have fun with this one.
 
2012-05-12 04:05:44 AM  
I don't think a 40-Lb box of rape would be nearly enough for Gerry.
 
2012-05-12 04:09:03 AM  

Ghastly: Granted I couldn't convince the director that my character should be a futanari cat-girl with multiple tentacle dicks


I've never see such a phrase perfectly encapsulates your very essence. One day, there will be a tome of great quotes and this one shall be accounted amongst them, right alongside "I have a dream", "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal" and "I have a GED in Law, and you do not."

/don't worry, your quote will be nowhere near SkinnyHead's
 
2012-05-12 04:10:36 AM  

gothelder: Ghastly: Well I'm off now to grease a duck for a throat ride.

If that is a euphemism for something, can you explain it to the elderly?


He's Ghastly. If you know anything about him, that's all you need to know.
 
2012-05-12 04:29:17 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: As opposed to automatically raped?


Their automatic rape equipment was probably broken. No doubt waiting for a part from some contractor.
 
2012-05-12 04:30:15 AM  

fisker: [cdn2.holytaco.com image 435x580]


I mis-read that as "Probing. Pussy."
 
2012-05-12 04:54:26 AM  
WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO ROOT FOR IN THIS FIGHT?
 
2012-05-12 04:57:05 AM  

flamingboard: WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO ROOT FOR IN THIS FIGHT?


The TSA. Always root for anyone who is farking with Geraldo.
 
2012-05-12 05:00:37 AM  
Fark AutoMatons in full force today....

I don't care if it is someone douchey like Geraldo Rico Suave....the TSA (Testicle Squeezing A-Holes) has gone too far.
 
2012-05-12 05:01:25 AM  
What the hell did he say to them?
 
2012-05-12 05:28:41 AM  
Forget myself, forget my wife, forget about the old women and kids everyone white knights.

This is farking Geraldo. The man with the stache. This really can't be true. This simply isn't right.
 
2012-05-12 05:39:11 AM  
UFIA?

/seriously you farkers are getting slack
//logged in for the first time in over a year to say that
 
2012-05-12 06:24:06 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Fark Me To Tears: As opposed to automatically raped?

I was just thinking - they really should look into ways to automate the Geraldo-rape process.


Get me a variable frequency drive, a PLC, a 1 HP electric motor, and a baseball bat. I'll make it happen.
 
2012-05-12 06:25:20 AM  

Revek: Cue the big special where he intends to open the mystery of his anus. Of course it will be devoid of anything interesting remarkable, except for trace quantities of synthetic lubricant.


FTFY
 
2012-05-12 06:28:53 AM  
I still can't get over the fact that he's related to Kurt Vonnegut.
 
2012-05-12 06:50:26 AM  

Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco: UFIA?

/seriously you farkers are getting slack
//logged in for the first time in over a year to say that


It takes you a year to log in, but it's everyone else who is slack.
 
2012-05-12 06:56:35 AM  

Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco: UFIA?

/seriously you farkers are getting slack
//logged in for the first time in over a year to say that


You logged in for the first time in over a year to bring up a meme? Good work. God knows what the peasants on this site have missed in your absence. Any funny Lolcats for us?
 
2012-05-12 07:04:02 AM  
I'm sitting at a gate waiting for my plane so I'm getting a kick....

I've flown 5 times since the nude-o-scopes went into use and I haven't had to go trough it yet. They've waved me to the metal detector every time.
 
2012-05-12 07:10:12 AM  
I have rarely talked to anyone from the TSA. But the two I spoke with in Vegas were mean-spirited liars, intent on using petty authority to bully old people and small children and to steal any bright shiny objects that catch their interest.

I have often wondered how much money Las Vegas loses each year due to those two idiots stealing stuff from people at the airport and threatening to arrest anyone who complains. I bet it is a lot.

Or I would bet, if I ever went back to Las Vegas.
 
2012-05-12 07:23:25 AM  
Sounds like he's just mad no one in security recognized him.
 
2012-05-12 07:28:06 AM  
Wouldn't this actually be digitally, rather than manually? Unless, of course, he put his whole hand in there. In that case, manually works just fine.

/Figures. Geraldo knows all about looking for things in hidden chambers.
 
2012-05-12 07:28:44 AM  
Definitely must be a change. He digitally rapes me all the time with his stupid reports.
 
2012-05-12 07:54:44 AM  

UCFRoadWarrior: Fark AutoMatons in full force today....

I don't care if it is someone douchey like Geraldo Rico Suave....the TSA (Testicle Squeezing A-Holes) has gone too far.


Sorry, but the TSA is definitely the lesser of two evils here. Of course, Cthulhu is still the Greater Evil, but between Geraldo and the TSA the TSA is definitely the lesser of two evils. Yes. Lesser evil. Geraldo sucks.
 
2012-05-12 09:05:04 AM  
Attention whore is still an attention whore. This is news?
 
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