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(The New York Times)   Oh JP Morgan? The SEC would like a word with you over those reckless trades that lost you $2 billion in the last six weeks, two words, actually, and they are "you're farked"   (dealbook.nytimes.com) divider line 39
    More: Followup, JPMorgan Chase & Co.  
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14608 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2012 at 7:51 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-05-11 04:38:14 PM
9 votes:
Dinki: doublesecretprobation: they were only trading recklessly because their taxes are so high.

I thought it was because they were over regulated.


they had to concentrate on risky short-term gains because there was so much long-term uncertainty in the market due to the threat of obama further tinkering with the economy. can't we just vote that scumbag out of office yet so the banks can get back into the business of stimulating job growth?
2012-05-11 03:43:28 PM
9 votes:
they were only trading recklessly because their taxes are so high.
2012-05-11 08:24:28 PM
3 votes:
26.media.tumblr.com

RIP JP Morgan
2012-05-11 08:05:06 PM
3 votes:
The Jami Turman Fan Club: They forgot the first rule of investment banking.

Never get involved in a land war in Asia?
2012-05-11 07:52:31 PM
3 votes:
api.ning.com
2012-05-11 04:00:46 PM
3 votes:
doublesecretprobation: they were only trading recklessly because their taxes are so high.

I thought it was because they were over regulated.
2012-05-11 08:22:13 PM
2 votes:
Thankfully, the government maintains a strict policy of not hiring "former" bankers, oil executives, or anyone else that has ever had loyalty to anything other than their own money.
To imply otherwise is simply disgusting.
2012-05-11 06:21:02 PM
2 votes:
They're going to have to pay $50.00 and pick up the garbage in the snow.
2012-05-11 03:21:43 PM
2 votes:
Oh man, I can't wait to see how big of a slap on the wrist the S.E.C. gives them.
2012-05-13 04:38:11 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-05-12 10:16:06 PM
1 votes:
Dinki: thomps: can't we just vote that scumbag out of office yet so the banks can get back into the business of stimulating job growth?

Don't worry, come next January Rmoney will be in the white house, the GOP will control both houses, and wall street will be out from under the heavy hand of government, free to lead the world into a new dawn of capitalist freedom. We need a forward thinking free market visionary, a man with a true grasp of what this country needs in economic terms in the white house. And Rmoney, the guy that would have let the car companies collapse into ruin, is just that man.


And the guy who led the company that invested in well-run businesses and used its capable expert management to strip them of employees and cash while reaping enormous fees and putting them into bankruptcy is just the leader this country needs to create jobs and get Americans working again.
2012-05-12 11:28:44 AM
1 votes:
If your money is in a commercial bank, rather than a credit union (preferably a local community or employee one), then you're part of the problem, not the solution.

Government regulation isn't the answer to "too big to fail". Local control is.

Crooks, whether on a board of directors or sitting in Congress, can't do harm with money they don't have. Starve the bastards.
2012-05-12 08:32:44 AM
1 votes:
thisisyourbrainonFark: Why hasn't

[occupywinstonsalem.org image 524x432]

led to

[ierg.net image 428x318]

?


Because:
encrypted-tbn0.google.com
2012-05-12 07:03:43 AM
1 votes:
Indubitably: Indubitably: Inherently systemic flaws abound.

STFD.

Make right and be real about profitabilities, now.

I mean it.

;)

P.S. Cyber-punch for what is right...


Am I the only one who doesn't have you on ignore? Your shtick is really irritating
2012-05-12 05:56:11 AM
1 votes:
phaseolus: Shadyman: Shostie: The Jami Turman Fan Club: They forgot the first rule of investment banking.

Never get involved in a land war in Asia?

Don't talk about fight club?

There is porn of it, no exceptions?


Don't eat the yellow snow?
2012-05-12 03:09:56 AM
1 votes:
Kittypie070: Are we Americans or are we slaves to these gods damn parasites?

Yes.
2012-05-12 02:21:17 AM
1 votes:
i149.photobucket.com
2012-05-12 01:56:25 AM
1 votes:
flamingboard: If you're worried about feeding your kids you're not going to cut work and get on a bus to D.C. to protest.

Nah, I was told only those without jobs spend months in the street protesting because nobody with a job agreed with occupy. Surely you must be incorrect.
2012-05-12 01:08:18 AM
1 votes:
thomps: lisarenee3505: thomps: Dinki: doublesecretprobation: they were only trading recklessly because their taxes are so high.

I thought it was because they were over regulated.

they had to concentrate on risky short-term gains because there was so much long-term uncertainty in the market due to the threat of obama further tinkering with the economy. can't we just vote that scumbag out of office yet so the banks can get back into the business of stimulating job growth?

===============================

Can't you just go shoot yourself for being so damn stupid? Yeah sure, let the banks just do whatever in the hell they want, we've all seen how well that works out before. Seriously, how are you alive when there is clearly no brain in your head? Admit it, you just don't like the idea of a black man in the White House... racist!

at this point i feel obligated to note that i was attempting a joke.

======================================

Ahhh, my bad then. I take it all back and uhhh.... this isn't awkward at all. Carry on.
2012-05-12 12:28:09 AM
1 votes:
tjfly: Do you even know why you're md?

I'm not md, I just play one on tv.
2012-05-11 11:38:08 PM
1 votes:
How about they make money the old fashion banking way: loaning money with interest?

These bastards think they can make more money by playing the trading markets, which benefits very few, instead of putting their capital directly to work in industry (or real estate mortgages).

/hates bankers
2012-05-11 11:25:41 PM
1 votes:
robertus: Eddie Adams from Torrance: They're going to have to pay $50.00 and pick up the garbage in the snow.

[www.irocknroll.com image 300x411]

Approves

/I said Shrink.... I wanna kill.


"Kid, I want you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

/Mother rapers.

// Father stabbers.

///Father rapers!

//// Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me!
2012-05-11 11:05:26 PM
1 votes:
BullBearMS: Magorn: Something called the Volcker Rule that was passed as part of Dodd-Frank would have specifically forbid this.

The Volker rule, as written, would not have stopped this.

The Glass-Steagall act that was killed under Clinton was reinstated, on the other hand...

[dl.dropbox.com image 600x663]


farm7.static.flickr.com
2012-05-11 11:05:25 PM
1 votes:
bunner: Does ANYBODY still think it's an all American, ever to clever, nifty spifty idea to just beat your brains out making people in nice suits rich and then handing it to other people in nice suits who shove it up their ass while you work overtime so you'll cash out with enough for a coffin, a place to put it and doughnuts for the mourners? Seriously? Are we still just standing in line to ride the wheel of endless debt and call it a life? Are we still that f*cking gullible and lazy?

Who is on next seasons Dancing with the Stars?
2012-05-11 10:13:53 PM
1 votes:
Crap...does this mean I'm going to have to move my checking account again?
2012-05-11 10:04:33 PM
1 votes:
phaseolus: Jaye

The muppet show is where I remember her from lol
2012-05-11 09:49:41 PM
1 votes:
Disgruntled Goat: After what we found out in 2008, the three biggest banks can do ANYTHING they want now. Anything.
Because if one goes, they all go. And with them, the world economy.


img.photobucket.com
2012-05-11 09:06:46 PM
1 votes:
A strongly worded letter of reprimand in their 'permanent' record?
2012-05-11 08:59:49 PM
1 votes:
thomps: Dinki: doublesecretprobation: they were only trading recklessly because their taxes are so high.

I thought it was because they were over regulated.

they had to concentrate on risky short-term gains because there was so much long-term uncertainty in the market due to the threat of obama further tinkering with the economy. can't we just vote that scumbag out of office yet so the banks can get back into the business of stimulating job growth?


My irony meter just uhsplode.
2012-05-11 08:44:52 PM
1 votes:
J.P. Morgan loses two billion dollars in the course of six weeks: RARRRGH S.E.C. INVESTIGATION BLARRRGH
Taxbongo loses seven trillion dollars in three years: "That's fine, as long as I keep getting my check!"

Got it.
2012-05-11 08:35:34 PM
1 votes:
Clearly the solution to this problem is a multi-million dollar bonus for whoever is responsible.

And tax cuts.
2012-05-11 08:28:57 PM
1 votes:
Nadie_AZ: Phony_Soldier: But "hope and change" should have prevented this.

/bahahaha!

Real Americans would have prevented this, if they weren't busy clutching their guns, god and cousin.


Your newsletter, Sir, needs to be more widely published.
2012-05-11 08:20:31 PM
1 votes:
Phony_Soldier: But "hope and change" should have prevented this.

/bahahaha!


Real Americans would have prevented this, if they weren't busy clutching their guns, god and cousin.
2012-05-11 08:18:33 PM
1 votes:
Sliding Carp: Where "you're farked" is actually defined as, "in 2 years, you'll pay a $25,000 civil fine, and 2 current members of the SEC staff will become assistant directors of government liason at JP Morgan"

Could be worse. Under Romney, the punishment will be that Dimon will receive a sloppy BJ from the chair for the SEC *without* cupping his balls.
2012-05-11 07:56:26 PM
1 votes:
basemetal: [api.ning.com image 640x424]

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jump you f*ckers

i.imgur.com
2012-05-11 06:50:10 PM
1 votes:
abb3w: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Jump Break it up you f*ckers

FTFY?


No, no, I think the original was accurate. Breaking up the corporation leaves out an important step- the one where greed-driven bastards plunge to their doom on filthy pavement, possibly shattering their skull in a pool of wino urine. That step's important to me.

//Jump, you f*ckers.
2012-05-11 04:52:13 PM
1 votes:
thomps: can't we just vote that scumbag out of office yet so the banks can get back into the business of stimulating job growth?

Don't worry, come next January Rmoney will be in the white house, the GOP will control both houses, and wall street will be out from under the heavy hand of government, free to lead the world into a new dawn of capitalist freedom. We need a forward thinking free market visionary, a man with a true grasp of what this country needs in economic terms in the white house. And Rmoney, the guy that would have let the car companies collapse into ruin, is just that man.
2012-05-11 04:14:16 PM
1 votes:
I have one word.

Jump.
2012-05-11 03:10:27 PM
1 votes:
Where "you're farked" is actually defined as, "in 2 years, you'll pay a $25,000 civil fine, and 2 current members of the SEC staff will become assistant directors of government liason at JP Morgan"
 
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