I contracted life while in the womb. I'm guaranteed to die from it.

Saberus Terras: Fat Old Broad: Wicked sexiness and carrying these giant cans around.

Ahem...

If you would kindly back up your claim with BIE.

/EIP, of course.

THIS

I wish I knew what is ailing me, but I've given up even guessing at this point. I've had painful, annoying, and occasionally alarming symptoms for four and a half months now but so far, all tests have come up normal. It's frustrating and expensive.

Prior to January of this year, I had very few health problems except for my stupid lower back. WTF happened...

/ waiting for results from yesterday's abdominal ultrasound

Pernicious Hypo-Gynophagia

Upper Abdominal Distention

eraser8: I've admitted in earlier threads that I often suffer minor injuries that go unnoticed for several hours. I feel absolutely no pain from them until I step into the shower or wash my hands. And, even when I notice them, I have no idea what caused the injury.

I think I may be coming down with leprosy.

Lemme guess, your wedding band is made of white gold?

Sometimes I think I have a brain tumor pushing against the back of my left eye. But it's probably just sinuses.

I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

Is Hypochondria genetic?

I have this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.

I am dying of young age.

1. There are no old people any more, just senior citizens and people who are "eighty years young".
2. Lifespans are getting longer.
3. People are always saying "fifty is the new thirty" which means that I am aging backwards.
4. By the time I reach retirement age, I will no longer be retirement age.
5. I think this swelling on my finger is either arthritis or pseudo-gout.
6. The disease of old age is being broken up into new diseases all the time so soon nobody will die of it any more.
7. Old people don't act their ages, so why should I act mine?

Personally, I can see a downside to getting older. For one thing, your ears and nose never stop growing, so you'll eventually look like a troll. Second, death eventually comes as a welcome relief from boredom if nothing else. Third, the prospect of working forever does not appeal to me. Neither does being poor forever. Old age is a lot like living in New York City--it's only bearable because you are rich and young. If you are neither, it sucks.

Yes, I am dying of young age. But slowly I am growing up. Give me another fifty or one hundred years and I may be an adult. As readers of Larry Niven know, that means looking like a cross between a chimpanzee and a crab, being super-intelligent, and thinking of nothing but your descendants or some substitute, such as your species.

The prospect of eternal youth makes me feel old, but alas, I never shall be.