FARK.com: (7101044) Hypochondria support thread. What disease do you think you're dying from?

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		Hypochondria support thread. What disease do you think you're dying from? (en.wikipedia.org)		276
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2622 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2012 at 4:23 PM | Favorite | share:

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themindiswatching		2012-05-11 02:25:19 PM

Dihydrogen monoxide toxicity.

bigpete53		2012-05-11 02:25:30 PM

My butt itches. I think I have worms.

Humean_Nature		2012-05-11 02:25:39 PM

The handsomes. I got it bad.

/*cough*

Shakespeare's Monkey		2012-05-11 02:25:51 PM

I'm pretty sure I have hives, but that won't kill me. It itches though.

RexTalionis		2012-05-11 02:27:48 PM

Tuberculosis.

kxs401		2012-05-11 02:28:05 PM

I get pains in my side and have stomach problems, so I'm pretty sure I have pancreatic cancer.

generalDisdain		2012-05-11 02:28:27 PM

F*ck you and your narcissistic obsession that something is wrong with you.
Something is. You aren't special. Welcome to the club, attention whore.

ToxicMunkee		2012-05-11 02:30:01 PM

Life, man. LIFE.

ytterbium		2012-05-11 02:30:12 PM

I have a huge fear of brain aneurysms. My cousin died suddenly from one a few years ago, now with every twinge of a headache I think I'm about to die.

/therapy, I need it

tsalaroth		2012-05-11 02:31:10 PM

Cancer.

generalDisdain		2012-05-11 02:31:55 PM

That subtle low humming in your ears is the dust mites using your skin cells to build a colony.

Dynascape		2012-05-11 02:32:41 PM

ToxicMunkee: Life, man. LIFE.

So I see in the few weeks Ive been a liter... that now you're back.

Cool cool.

HoboCop		2012-05-11 02:33:25 PM

What makes your skin slough off in wet chunks?

generalDisdain		2012-05-11 02:34:12 PM

Yes, that does look infected! Does it itch?

AbbeySomeone		2012-05-11 02:36:11 PM

kxs401: I get pains in my side and have stomach problems, so I'm pretty sure I have pancreatic cancer.

I used to have digestive issues, bloating and wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I was being stabbed in the lower stomach; sometimes I puked.
Gluten. It is not your friend.

daywin		2012-05-11 02:37:43 PM

old age

Girl From The North Country		2012-05-11 02:59:35 PM

I have a bad case of Friday afternoon, right about.......................now

Alpha Sierra Foxtrot		2012-05-11 02:59:55 PM

I could have sworn I saw this thread earlier today, so maybe I'm suffering from persistent deja vu.

Shakespeare's Monkey		2012-05-11 03:00:35 PM

HoboCop: What makes your skin slough off in wet chunks?

Hives,

_Wait

namegoeshere		2012-05-11 03:05:01 PM

tsalaroth: Cancer.

Yeah, that. The particular type of cancer varies, though.

ToxicMunkee		2012-05-11 03:58:55 PM

Dynascape: ToxicMunkee: Life, man. LIFE.

So I see in the few weeks Ive been a liter... that now you're back.

Cool cool.

And this time I have chlamydia!

*rubs*

Now you do, too.

namegoeshere		2012-05-11 04:14:38 PM

Green?

eraser8		2012-05-11 04:22:46 PM

I've admitted in earlier threads that I often suffer minor injuries that go unnoticed for several hours. I feel absolutely no pain from them until I step into the shower or wash my hands. And, even when I notice them, I have no idea what caused the injury.

I think I may be coming down with leprosy.

bikerbob59		2012-05-11 04:24:24 PM

Marriage. And very, very slowly....

texdent		2012-05-11 04:24:32 PM

I have pains, they're multiplying. It's electrifying.

angrymacface		2012-05-11 04:24:41 PM

Chronic Cubicle Syndrome.

homeschooled		2012-05-11 04:25:29 PM

My foot looks like it has gangrene because I had a huge nasty blister after running my half marathon, and it is on the bottom of my foot and hurt so bad to walk i was just like f*ck it, so I drained it, and the skin came off and now it's healing and scabbing and it's all disgusting and dry and I think I'm going to die.

Fabric_Man		2012-05-11 04:25:41 PM

I think it's my lung.

/Mister, please help me!

meat0918		2012-05-11 04:26:00 PM

I think I'm dying from sanity.

birchman		2012-05-11 04:26:07 PM

The summertime blues. There ain't no cure.

Bonobo62		2012-05-11 04:26:28 PM

I'm the only hypochondriac who thinks he has hypochondria, but really doesn't.

Hector Remarkable		2012-05-11 04:26:40 PM

Handmaid's Knee.

SmackLT		2012-05-11 04:26:44 PM

ToxicMunkee: Life, man. LIFE.

Nobody gets out alive

Buttbone McGillicutty		2012-05-11 04:26:45 PM

Bubonic Fistula

birchman		2012-05-11 04:27:10 PM

Sobriety

Current Resident		2012-05-11 04:27:16 PM

Shark AIDS

mightybaldking		2012-05-11 04:27:38 PM

My boss is a pain in the ass.

I think I have irritable bowel syndrome.

Taikoluigi		2012-05-11 04:27:47 PM

That one curse, can't remember the name of it, that sometimes causes a succubus to spawn about ten yards away from...

Hold on a second.

Magnanimous_J		2012-05-11 04:28:27 PM

I've been convinced I had ALS, MS, Diabetes, brain cancer, lymphoma, testicular cancer, and skin cancer. I also regularly think I'm having a heart attack or stroke.

WebMD is not my friend.

noneyourbase		2012-05-11 04:28:48 PM

bigpete53: My butt itches. I think I have worms.

Enterobius

In humans, enterobius vermicularis causes the medical condition enterobiasis, whose primary symptom is itching in the anal area.[21]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enterobius

vsavatar		2012-05-11 04:29:31 PM

I used to think I was dying from Creutzfeldt-Jakobs disease, or more specifically new variant CJD. It was so real too. I had an MRI and a PET scan and it all came back normal. I was having memory loss, disorientation, confusion, twitching, etc. Turns out it was a combination of a viral infection, panic attacks, and hypocondriasis. It took me 1.5 years of therapy to get back to normal. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever had.

dr.zaeus		2012-05-11 04:30:26 PM

/hotlink

Whatthefark		2012-05-11 04:30:28 PM

Verendus Maximus

JoeyJoJo		2012-05-11 04:30:39 PM

I found a tick behind my knee, it didn't bite me, but now I'm sure I have Lyme disease.

/My 20 month old son had one on his head which definitely bit him. I'm convinced we'll die together.

FeFiFoFark		2012-05-11 04:30:45 PM

I'm almost certain I'm dying from Restless Leg Syndrome.

/help me

noneyourbase		2012-05-11 04:30:50 PM

generalDisdain: That subtle low humming in your ears is the dust mites using your skin cells to build a colony.

Psoroptidia psoroptidiae

The ear mite is the most common cause of ear infections in cats, quickly spreading from one cat to another through direct contact.[5] Ear mites cause inflammatory symptoms, similar to bacterial and yeast infections. Symptoms include itching and redness of the ears. Other, more serious problems can result from untreated infections, such as skin disease in areas other than the ear like the neck and tail, and deafness.[6]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ear_mite

mod3072		2012-05-11 04:31:06 PM

Bigdickitis.

Ambitwistor		2012-05-11 04:31:16 PM

Flesh-eating ebola.

Ambitwistor		2012-05-11 04:32:08 PM

Kuru

MurphyMurphy		2012-05-11 04:32:17 PM

Pro tip: if you suspect cancer, get that shiat checked out. Because sometimes it actually is.

Everything else (unless you have a fever over 103 or any fever for more than 36 hours) wait two weeks and see what happens.

/never thought anything would hurt me
//then: SURPRISE!

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