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(Slate)   "Dark Shadows will remind you why you once liked Johnny Depp"   (slate.com) divider line 89
    More: Unlikely, Johnny Depp, Danny Elfman, Rocky Horror Picture Show, sight gags, Michelle Pfeiffer, soundstage, Fest Magazine, Laugh-In  
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3448 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 May 2012 at 11:05 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-11 08:53:59 AM
Unlikely tag busy laughing at how closely this film matched that CollegeHumor video.

/Get me johnny depp and my wife on the phone
//I can't NOT do that...
 
2012-05-11 09:27:54 AM
This movie looks awful.
 
2012-05-11 09:29:23 AM
I kind of wish Depp would find his inner rebel again, the one that made him pass up all the heartthrob roles he was being offered after 21 Jump Street and do some amazing films that were wildly different. It feels like he's been stuck in a rut for most of the last decade, constantly returning to the same characters or some mild variation thereof.
 
2012-05-11 09:58:25 AM
I never stopped liking Johnny Depp. I just don't watch the movies he's in that I know will suck. In fact I just watched a documentary on Hunter Thompson narrated by Depp on NetFlix streaming and it was great.

Depp can do 10 more movies with Burton under a ton of make-up and that won't change the fact that he was in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. So free pass.
 
2012-05-11 11:10:43 AM
I blame Edward Scissorhands. Depp was born to play that roll, so that is what he will be cast as from now on.

See: Malcolm McDowall.
 
2012-05-11 11:13:59 AM
Down to 40% on rotten tomatoes. I think I'll wait for it to be on netflix instant in a few years.
 
2012-05-11 11:14:02 AM

Jake Havechek: I blame Edward Scissorhands. Depp was born to play that roll, so that is what he will be cast as from now on.


I thought he was also great in Chocolat. Would would have thought he could play a greasy-haired gypsy?
 
2012-05-11 11:14:08 AM
That headline implies that I stopped liking Johnny Depp, which would be incorrect.
 
2012-05-11 11:14:27 AM
I like Burton films. I also like musicals. Complaining about the aesthetic of Burton films reminds me entirely of people who hate musicals then are constantly happy to complain that they hated the latest musical they saw. We get it. You don't like it.
 
2012-05-11 11:15:22 AM
Another Tim Burton flick. At this point you can overhear a few plot points, close your eyes, and imagine the whole movie and not be that far off. You'd probably get the casting, art direction, and soundtrack down to the letter.
 
2012-05-11 11:16:58 AM

LowbrowDeluxe: I like Burton films. I also like musicals. Complaining about the aesthetic of Burton films reminds me entirely of people who hate musicals then are constantly happy to complain that they hated the latest musical they saw. We get it. You don't like it.


Most people who hate musicals still enjoyed South Park:Bigger Longer and Uncut. Most of the time it isn't the genre it is the crappy execution. Burton can make a great film (Big Fish for example) Dark Shadows just isn't one.
 
2012-05-11 11:23:17 AM

LowbrowDeluxe: I like Burton films. I also like musicals. Complaining about the aesthetic of Burton films reminds me entirely of people who hate musicals then are constantly happy to complain that they hated the latest musical they saw. We get it. You don't like it.


This. You know what you are getting with Burton and Depp. They do Burton/Depp-esque stuff. If you like that stuff, watch it, if you don't, then don't watch. Just don't go into and expect Micheal Bay or Werner Herzog.
 
2012-05-11 11:27:51 AM

Carth: LowbrowDeluxe: I like Burton films. I also like musicals. Complaining about the aesthetic of Burton films reminds me entirely of people who hate musicals then are constantly happy to complain that they hated the latest musical they saw. We get it. You don't like it.

Most people who hate musicals still enjoyed South Park:Bigger Longer and Uncut. Most of the time it isn't the genre it is the crappy execution. Burton can make a great film (Big Fish for example) Dark Shadows just isn't one.


South Park was the definition of crappy execution. That was half the joke. If that's an example of a 'successful' musical for people who hate Gilbert and Sullivan or Disney movies or whatever then....honestly, I have no idea where you were going with that.

I'm perfectly willing to believe Dark Shadows isn't good. I'm not terribly interested in seeing it myself. 90% of the herping and derping in these threads has nothing to do with that, however.
 
2012-05-11 11:31:41 AM
I've never stopped liking Johnny Depp. I have however, stopped liking Tim Burton. Does movie change that at all?

40% on Rotten Tomatoes you say? Apparently not. I'll wait for it to come out on DVD.
 
2012-05-11 11:33:50 AM

Carth: Most people who hate musicals still enjoyed South Park:Bigger Longer and Uncut


That was probably because South Park was a cartoon. I'm just not wired to accept that people in real life will stop the story and just break out into song and dance for no reason. The exception being The Blues Brothers because it was sort of a cartoon in its own way, the music was good and there were really only a couple of actual "musical" scenes that interrupted the narrative. But the musical as a concept, I just was never able to understand. But I'm obviously wrong, musicals are hugely popular.
 
2012-05-11 11:38:36 AM

LowbrowDeluxe: I like Burton films. I also like musicals. Complaining about the aesthetic of Burton films reminds me entirely of people who hate musicals then are constantly happy to complain that they hated the latest musical they saw. We get it. You don't like it.


I don't hate Tim Burton films (Quite the opposite in some cases). His last several though have stuck to formula and he doesn't seem to have the same, subversive and surreal wit he used to have with past films. His best stuff lately are things he's written and/or produced, but not directed.
 
2012-05-11 11:41:07 AM
I saw the Avengers again last night. The next movie I plan on seeing is DKR, followed by Expendables 2 (some movies were just meant to be seen in theaters).

The mortar between these bricks will be Diablo 3.

Really, there's very little else on the cinematic horizon that even remotely piques my interest.

/I suppose I can shoehorn the new Pixar flick in there
//and I'll get dragged to Prometheus by my friend and dad
///when my dad saw the new Spider Man trailer, he asked why they were showing a trailer for a movie that came out years ago
 
2012-05-11 11:42:57 AM
He's no Lon Chaney Sr. or Jr..
 
2012-05-11 11:43:23 AM
I want to be cool by not liking popular things but there are so many faux-cool people hating on this movie that I'm going to like it just to be cooler than them! HA!
 
2012-05-11 11:45:25 AM

grinding_journalist: I saw the Avengers again last night. The next movie I plan on seeing is DKR, followed by Expendables 2 (some movies were just meant to be seen in theaters).

The mortar between these bricks will be Diablo 3.



You aren't disappointed Expendables 2 is going to be rated PG-13 to make Chuck "Fundy" Norris happy?
 
2012-05-11 11:49:49 AM

verbaltoxin: I don't hate Tim Burton films (Quite the opposite in some cases). His last several though have stuck to formula and he doesn't seem to have the same, subversive and surreal wit he used to have with past films. His best stuff lately are things he's written and/or produced, but not directed.


People hate on Burton's Batman because it seems so campy compared to the gritty crime drama that the new films are but I always dug his gothic German expressionist version of Gotham city over "Chicago" in the Nolan films. And casting a wispy comedic actor like Michael Keaton was inspired, IMO. No, it had nothing to do with the muscle bound ninja that Batman was supposed to be and that was what was cool about it. Burton's Batman had nothing to do with the comic book version. He was a guy out of his league physically but did his shiat anyway.

And Burton did a lot better job of making Bruce Wayne a broken, mentally unhinged individual. Nolan's Wayne has none of that. He could be a regular cop except for the costume. There's a lot more to be said about Burton's Batman than he's given credit for.

And the Batmobile is a lot cooler, if less practical.
 
2012-05-11 11:50:10 AM

Carth: grinding_journalist: I saw the Avengers again last night. The next movie I plan on seeing is DKR, followed by Expendables 2 (some movies were just meant to be seen in theaters).

The mortar between these bricks will be Diablo 3.



You aren't disappointed Expendables 2 is going to be rated PG-13 to make Chuck "Fundy" Norris happy?


Thing have changed on that front. It will be "R" rated in U.S. theatres

/I'm not interested in seeing it. But I thought those so interested would like to know.
 
2012-05-11 11:51:08 AM

Pandora's Litterbox: Carth: grinding_journalist: I saw the Avengers again last night. The next movie I plan on seeing is DKR, followed by Expendables 2 (some movies were just meant to be seen in theaters).

The mortar between these bricks will be Diablo 3.



You aren't disappointed Expendables 2 is going to be rated PG-13 to make Chuck "Fundy" Norris happy?

Thing have changed on that front. It will be "R" rated in U.S. theatres

/I'm not interested in seeing it. But I thought those so interested would like to know.


Thanks! I stopped paying any attention to it back in Feb or so when he said it would be PG-13. That is good news.
 
2012-05-11 11:51:57 AM

Carth: You aren't disappointed Expendables 2 is going to be rated PG-13 to make Chuck "Fundy" Norris happy?


Not really. They won't be yelling F Bombs, and nobody will get dismembered- but the Avengers was action packed, intense, and fantastically entertaining at PG13 as well. Hell, Avengers had a guy getting impaled through the chest- I didn't need to see the spear entering the body to understand what was going on.

Prometheus, on he other hand, would NOT work as a PG13, much as the new Pixar flick wouldn't work as an "R".

/it's Kh-arth, not K-warth
 
2012-05-11 11:54:27 AM

I_C_Weener: This movie looks awful.


My mother must be spinning in her urn. Dark Shadows was her favorite TV show.
 
2012-05-11 11:55:11 AM

Pandora's Litterbox: Carth: grinding_journalist: I saw the Avengers again last night. The next movie I plan on seeing is DKR, followed by Expendables 2 (some movies were just meant to be seen in theaters).

The mortar between these bricks will be Diablo 3.



You aren't disappointed Expendables 2 is going to be rated PG-13 to make Chuck "Fundy" Norris happy?

Thing have changed on that front. It will be "R" rated in U.S. theatres

/I'm not interested in seeing it. But I thought those so interested would like to know.


I'm pretty sure Expendables would be unwatchable if it were PG-13.
 
2012-05-11 11:58:31 AM
I'm waiting for the Armond White review. I will make up my mind then.
 
2012-05-11 11:58:47 AM
Honest question to Dark Shadows fans (the T.V. show). Was the T.V. show kinda campy and light hearted like the movie looks like or was it darker and more serious?
 
2012-05-11 12:00:51 PM
When did we stop liking Johnny Depp? Yeah, the Tim Burton movies have become too routine, but he still does great work with other directors. Not to mention that he's very friendly when approached by fans, unlike many movie stars he is a fantastic tipper, and he puts on the Jack Sparrow costume to entertain sick kids in hospitals. The only bad thing I can thinkk of to say about the guy is that the "Winona Forever" tattoo was, in hidsight, kinda dumb.
 
2012-05-11 12:03:25 PM

Pandora's Litterbox: You aren't disappointed Expendables 2 is going to be rated PG-13 to make Chuck "Fundy" Norris happy?

Thing have changed on that front. It will be "R" rated in U.S. theatres

/I'm not interested in seeing it. But I thought those so interested would like to know.


We saw this with the last Die Hard movie. If it was filmed with a PG-13 contingency in mind, you can tell, no matter how many eff words and CGI blood is added later.

I'm not a gore hound or anything and the amount of violence that a PG-13 movie is able to get away with nowadays has increased inversely to the amount of nudity they can get away with, which is another farked up issue but a filmmaker should be able to make the movie he wants. All the recent hard R rated comedies that made it big should prove that R rated movies still make money.

It's just the mindset of a few studio suits who still have it in their heads that a movie has to be a PG-13 to make money. And as everyone knows, studio suits are morons.
 
2012-05-11 12:15:32 PM

gunga galunga: When did we stop liking Johnny Depp? Yeah, the Tim Burton movies have become too routine, but he still does great work with other directors. Not to mention that he's very friendly when approached by fans, unlike many movie stars he is a fantastic tipper, and he puts on the Jack Sparrow costume to entertain sick kids in hospitals. The only bad thing I can thinkk of to say about the guy is that the "Winona Forever" tattoo was, in hidsight, kinda dumb.


Really. The farking guy reads to kids in his Jack Sparrow character. He showed up uninvited as a surprise at Disney World in his Jack Sparrow costume. I mean shiat. So he does a few shiatty movies with the friend who gave him his first big movie. He did a documentary on Hunter S. Thomson after gaining his friendship. As a straight guy I'm not saying that I'd suck his dick. But I'd understand it.
 
2012-05-11 12:34:34 PM

TheHappTroll: That headline implies that I stopped liking Johnny Depp, which would be incorrect.


That was a head-scratcher. But since only a douchenozzle would not like Johnny Depp (hell, even a lot of douchenozzles do like him), I decided it must mean that we once liked him for different reasons than we do now. I'm not sure if that's true or not, but it at least falls within the realm of possibility.
 
2012-05-11 12:36:25 PM

jbtilley: Another Tim Burton flick. At this point you can overhear a few plot points, close your eyes, and imagine the whole movie and not be that far off. You'd probably get the casting, art direction, and soundtrack down to the letter.


Ah, but this one has the added bonus of crapping all over a cult classic.
 
2012-05-11 12:40:13 PM
When I saw the trailers, I honestly thought this was the latest Seltzer and Friedberg movie.
 
2012-05-11 12:44:21 PM

Mugato: verbaltoxin: I don't hate Tim Burton films (Quite the opposite in some cases). His last several though have stuck to formula and he doesn't seem to have the same, subversive and surreal wit he used to have with past films. His best stuff lately are things he's written and/or produced, but not directed.

People hate on Burton's Batman because it seems so campy compared to the gritty crime drama that the new films are but I always dug his gothic German expressionist version of Gotham city over "Chicago" in the Nolan films. And casting a wispy comedic actor like Michael Keaton was inspired, IMO. No, it had nothing to do with the muscle bound ninja that Batman was supposed to be and that was what was cool about it. Burton's Batman had nothing to do with the comic book version. He was a guy out of his league physically but did his shiat anyway.

And Burton did a lot better job of making Bruce Wayne a broken, mentally unhinged individual. Nolan's Wayne has none of that. He could be a regular cop except for the costume. There's a lot more to be said about Burton's Batman than he's given credit for.

And the Batmobile is a lot cooler, if less practical.


What I like most about the '89 Batman film is that it is so quotable. It's really an adaptation of the 60s TV show when you think about it. The characters spend most of their time vamping and making wise-cracks, the violence is pretty cartoony and the Joker is inexplicably possessed with all these Joker-faced gadgets, trucks and helicopters.

The main issue I have with the Nolan Batman movies is that when you try to make a superhero story too realistic, you all but abandon the point of having a superhero. He's just a crazy guy in a suit. A "real" superhero is a guy like Phoneix Gold up Seattle, and all he is is a poser with a costume and some pepper spray. So I prefer my comic book properties to be more like the Avengers - fantastic and unrealistic, but still grounded in humanity. I like the Nolan movies, but there is the sense of walking the tightrope so the movies don't get too realistic, lest you destroy the entire fantastic premise it's predicated upon.
 
2012-05-11 12:58:03 PM

Mugato: verbaltoxin: I don't hate Tim Burton films (Quite the opposite in some cases). His last several though have stuck to formula and he doesn't seem to have the same, subversive and surreal wit he used to have with past films. His best stuff lately are things he's written and/or produced, but not directed.

People hate on Burton's Batman because it seems so campy compared to the gritty crime drama that the new films are but I always dug his gothic German expressionist version of Gotham city over "Chicago" in the Nolan films. And casting a wispy comedic actor like Michael Keaton was inspired, IMO. No, it had nothing to do with the muscle bound ninja that Batman was supposed to be and that was what was cool about it. Burton's Batman had nothing to do with the comic book version. He was a guy out of his league physically but did his shiat anyway.

And Burton did a lot better job of making Bruce Wayne a broken, mentally unhinged individual. Nolan's Wayne has none of that. He could be a regular cop except for the costume. There's a lot more to be said about Burton's Batman than he's given credit for.

And the Batmobile is a lot cooler, if less practical.


point me to one scene that makes that evident in the original Burton Batfilms. Because all I ever see is Mr. Mom dressing up like Batman.

/liked those films at the time. Well, no, that isn't true. Batman Returns was is and remains a farking turd. The original film was good at the time but has aged so very very poorly.
 
2012-05-11 12:59:22 PM

alwaysjaded: Honest question to Dark Shadows fans (the T.V. show). Was the T.V. show kinda campy and light hearted like the movie looks like or was it darker and more serious?


It was very dark and took itself very seriously.

It was a vampire based soap opera. While hysterically campy to some, it is not, in and of itself, funny or meant to be.

But I suppose I shouldn't worry. In 20 years we'll get the Tim Burton Vampire Diaries starring Johnny Depp, Jim Carrey and Will Ferrel.

With lots of Botox.
 
2012-05-11 01:00:13 PM

verbaltoxin: What I like most about the '89 Batman film is that it is so quotable. It's really an adaptation of the 60s TV show when you think about it. The characters spend most of their time vamping and making wise-cracks, the violence is pretty cartoony and the Joker is inexplicably possessed with all these Joker-faced gadgets, trucks and helicopters.The main issue I have with the Nolan Batman movies is that when you try to make a superhero story too realistic, you all but abandon the point of having a superhero. He's just a crazy guy in a suit. A "real" superhero is a guy like Phoneix Gold up Seattle, and all he is is a poser with a costume and some pepper spray. So I prefer my comic book properties to be more like the Avengers - fantastic and unrealistic, but still grounded in humanity. I like the Nolan movies, but there is the sense of walking the tightrope so the movies don't get too realistic, lest you destroy the entire fantastic premise it's predicated upon.


Burtons was for the fans of the old tv show, Nolans is for the comicbook and later animated series fans.
 
2012-05-11 01:00:57 PM
Promised my mom I would take her this afternoon. At least I'll get "good son" brownie points. Wish me well.
 
2012-05-11 01:03:41 PM
Johnny Depp has done some fine films. 'Dark Shadows' does not appear to be one of them.
 
2012-05-11 01:07:08 PM
"Dark Shadows will remind you why you once liked Johnny Depp need to take a seat right over there"

www.blogofdarkshadows.com

/waiting in line around the block to get in the annex
 
2012-05-11 01:07:54 PM

grinding_journalist: Prometheus, on he other hand, would NOT work as a PG13, much as the new Pixar flick wouldn't work as an "R".


If Pixar made a R rated animation flick then the next sound you would hear is the thunderous clap as thousands of Japanese Animation studious sphincters slammed shut. A R rated version of Pixar's imagination spewed onto the screen would start a new art industry over night in America.
It would be this:
www.cyberpunkreview.com
on a lethal cocktail of steroids and LSD...
 
2012-05-11 01:08:34 PM

Carth: grinding_journalist: I saw the Avengers again last night. The next movie I plan on seeing is DKR, followed by Expendables 2 (some movies were just meant to be seen in theaters).

The mortar between these bricks will be Diablo 3.



You aren't disappointed Expendables 2 is going to be rated PG-13 to make Chuck "Fundy" Norris happy?


Really? My understanding was that it had an R rating despite Chucky's nonsensical objections. The studio capitulated,then? :(
 
2012-05-11 01:10:01 PM

alwaysjaded: Honest question to Dark Shadows fans (the T.V. show). Was the T.V. show kinda campy and light hearted like the movie looks like or was it darker and more serious?


Can't speak to the original, but the 90's remake was horrible and creepy - in the same way Twilight and Fifty Shades of Suck are horrible and creepy. The rich vampire dude who is willing to kill for you and kill you while controlling your life and becoming angry when he can't control it must be a damned irresistible fantasy for many, many women.

The only good part of the 90s remake was Adrian Paul. they could have built an entire series around him. but then, he wasn't a horrible, creepy, controlling millionaire willing to act irrationally and violent in the name of 'love'.
 
2012-05-11 01:11:25 PM

orclover: grinding_journalist: Prometheus, on he other hand, would NOT work as a PG13, much as the new Pixar flick wouldn't work as an "R".

If Pixar made an R rated animation flick then the next sound you would hear is the thunderous clap as thousands of Japanese Animation studious sphincters slammed shut. An R rated version of Pixar's imagination spewed onto the screen would start a new art industry over night in America.
It would be this:
[www.cyberpunkreview.com image 640x360]
on a lethal cocktail of steroids and LSD...

 
2012-05-11 01:13:02 PM

orclover: grinding_journalist: Prometheus, on he other hand, would NOT work as a PG13, much as the new Pixar flick wouldn't work as an "R".

If Pixar made a R rated animation flick then the next sound you would hear is the thunderous clap as thousands of Japanese Animation studious sphincters slammed shut. A R rated version of Pixar's imagination spewed onto the screen would start a new art industry over night in America.
It would be this:
[www.cyberpunkreview.com image 640x360]
on a lethal cocktail of steroids and LSD...


I'll be the first to say it: Heavy Metal the movie sucked. Like, Ralph Bakshi's 'Wizards' sucked. Two cartoons on the verge of greatness destroyed by a lack of a truly cohesive plot. Great if you were there; suck if you were born after.
 
2012-05-11 01:16:03 PM
Hot Topic and its customers ruined Tim Burton for me.
 
2012-05-11 01:16:05 PM
Depp is a very capable actor who simply prefers to quirky fop roles to more serious ones these days. It might not be everyone's cup of tea,but it certainly shouldn't engender hate. Polite disdain is okay,though.
 
2012-05-11 01:16:07 PM
I doubt I'll see it. I don't even own a television.
 
2012-05-11 01:18:03 PM

Apos: Depp is a very capable actor who simply prefers to quirky fop roles to more serious ones these days. It might not be everyone's cup of tea,but it certainly shouldn't engender hate. Polite disdain is okay,though.




Better.
 
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