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(CNBC)   10 questions for JP Morgan, not including "just who the FARK do you think you are?"   (cnbc.com) divider line 101
    More: Followup, JPMorgan Chase & Co., trading loss, internal controls, Big Questions, U.S. Bancorp  
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7141 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2012 at 8:19 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-11 08:21:50 AM  
That coked up chick from The Gong Show?
I thought she died.
 
2012-05-11 08:23:47 AM  
They're the Goddamn Batman.
 
2012-05-11 08:26:32 AM  
1. Is the loss-making position still open?
2. Have any of the losses been crystallized yet? If not, how big is the open position?
3. When did it become apparent to the risk department at JPMorgan that the "hedge" wasn't working?
4. When were senior management and JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon informed about the magnitude of the potential losses?
5. What is the client position being "hedged"?
6. By how much did the original JPMorgan positional hedge offset the client portfolio position?
7. JPMorgan reported first-quarter numbers in mid-April. Should the bank have informed investors of a material risk to future profits if this position had already started to become a problem for the bank?
8. When was the "mark to market" calculation that revealed the loss made?
Don't investment banks make such calculations on a daily basis in order to ensure the position doesn't become too prominent?
9. Was this a single trader acting alone? Or was it a desk trading a position that was made with full knowledge of senior JPMorgan and risk management?
10. What is JPMorgan's interpretation of "proprietary trading" as opposed to "client position hedging"?

Article doesn't mention for us non-business elite folks what half of that means. For example, what is a "position"?
 
2012-05-11 08:26:34 AM  
They're a bookie joint. And they're running out of gymnastic bullsh*t to take bets on, like all the other "banks".
 
2012-05-11 08:26:35 AM  
Here's a question: why are all the goddamned comments IN CAPS on that page?
 
2012-05-11 08:27:57 AM  

TruBluTroll: For example, what is a "position"?


When you scrape off all the BS, it's essentially a very circuitously stated opinion.
 
2012-05-11 08:28:17 AM  
Jump, you f*ckers.
 
2012-05-11 08:30:00 AM  
I guess they should have bought more oil.
 
2012-05-11 08:30:36 AM  
Question 11: Why haven't you jumped yet?
 
2012-05-11 08:30:48 AM  

TruBluTroll: what is a "position"


If you own 100 shares of Microsoft, you have a 100 share long position in Microsoft. If you are short 100 shares of Microsoft, you have a 100 shares short position in Microsoft.

It is basically an open trade.
 
2012-05-11 08:31:48 AM  
This recovery is going good, isn't it?
 
2012-05-11 08:36:03 AM  
Finance experts of Fark, please explain where the "lost" money goes. I am dying to get my hands on some of it.
 
2012-05-11 08:38:42 AM  

TruBluTroll: For example, what is a "position"?


Well, sometimes when a mommy and daddy still love each other, but they feel they need to try something different...
 
2012-05-11 08:39:16 AM  
Yeah, does anyone have an analysis that isn't from the CNBC bobbleheads?
 
2012-05-11 08:39:16 AM  

wrenchboy: Finance experts of Fark, please explain where the "lost" money goes.


If you buy 100 shares of ABCD for $100 each, you are in that position for $10,000.
If you then sell those shares for $90 each, you have realized $9,000, and you have lost $1,000

The money they lost goes to the same place as it went in the above example.
 
2012-05-11 08:39:17 AM  

wrenchboy: Finance experts of Fark, please explain where the "lost" money goes. I am dying to get my hands on some of it.


Goldman Sachs.

They also have your missing socks.
 
2012-05-11 08:39:55 AM  
Couldn't have happen to a nicer bunch.
 
2012-05-11 08:40:12 AM  
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

They're all crazy, let's lock 'em up before they do any more damage!
 
2012-05-11 08:40:26 AM  
#12-I'm sure this will fark me hard somehow, in my wallet. Would you explain how it will happen, when I can expect it, and why I should once again be part of bailing a company out in a supposed capitalist system?
 
2012-05-11 08:40:28 AM  
11. So, you've been in a week now. Do you have a boyfriend yet?
 
2012-05-11 08:41:19 AM  

SharkTrager: wrenchboy: Finance experts of Fark, please explain where the "lost" money goes. I am dying to get my hands on some of it.

Goldman Sachs.

They also have your missing socks.


And Jimmy Hoffa, I am told.
 
2012-05-11 08:41:55 AM  

EatHam: TruBluTroll: what is a "position"

If you own 100 shares of Microsoft, you have a 100 share long position in Microsoft. If you are short 100 shares of Microsoft, you have a 100 shares short position in Microsoft.

It is basically an open trade.


To expand a bit on "short position", it's similar to borrowing $100 watch from your friend Joe, and then turning around and selling it to Anne for $100, because you think you'll be able to buy the watch (or an exact replica) for $60 at some future date before you have to give it back to Joe. In the transaction, you'd make $40 ($100-$60), less the fees you pay Joe to borrow his watch in the first place.

Confused yet?
 
2012-05-11 08:44:57 AM  
Just goes to prove that the people running these banks are sociopaths, if not outright psychopaths. Despite the melt down of 2008, nothing has changed, if anything, they are now doubling down.

The solution: Thousands of these bankers and Wall St. criminals need to be hauled off to jail and every dime taken from them. The entire financial system needs to be placed under strict regulation, like it was during Depression 1.0. Anyone who utters the words, "Austrian School" or "Any Rand", will be immediately placed up against a wall and shot.
 
2012-05-11 08:45:30 AM  

cman: This recovery is going good, isn't it?


This has little or nothing to do with the recovery or how well it is going. This has to do with the fact that we still, even after shiat like this crashed the economy, have not deemed it necessary to regulate the derivatives market. Until we do, this will happen again and again because the short-term gains for traders are enormous and they take on very little personal risk.
 
2012-05-11 08:47:28 AM  

TruBluTroll: 1

Article doesn't mention for us non-business elite folks what half of that means. For example, what is a "position"?


A position is basically a bet. They bet and lost a couple billion.
 
2012-05-11 08:50:07 AM  
ok, let me get this straight. It is wrong when they make money and it is wrong when they lose money.
 
2012-05-11 08:50:55 AM  
Shorts don't confuse me, but this JPM thing happened because of Synthetic Credit. Can someone explain that in layman's terms?

Is that where everyone borrows money from each other, but there was never any money to begin with?
 
2012-05-11 08:51:05 AM  

Fissile: Just goes to prove that the people running these banks are sociopaths, if not outright psychopaths. Despite the melt down of 2008, nothing has changed, if anything, they are now doubling down.

The solution: Thousands of these bankers and Wall St. criminals need to be hauled off to jail and every dime taken from them. The entire financial system needs to be placed under strict regulation, like it was during Depression 1.0. Anyone who utters the words, "Austrian School" or "Any Rand", will be immediately placed up against a wall and shot.


So much THIS!

This is the same horseshiat that's been happening for years. They screw everyone else over so that they can get rich and leave us with the ashes of a torched global economy. I would gladly pull the trigger.
 
2012-05-11 08:51:11 AM  
How's that IG9 position working out for you these days?
 
2012-05-11 08:51:36 AM  

SharkTrager: wrenchboy: Finance experts of Fark, please explain where the "lost" money goes. I am dying to get my hands on some of it.

Goldman Sachs.

They also have your missing socks.



I knew it! BASTARDS
 
2012-05-11 08:53:10 AM  
Excellent. I'm glad the Commonwealth decided to go with the cheaper option, rather than the trusted local group of over 80 years.
 
2012-05-11 08:53:22 AM  
Hows thatnnot having Glass Steagall thing working out for you?
 
2012-05-11 08:53:22 AM  
So when are these f*ckers going to jump?
 
2012-05-11 08:54:04 AM  
Sell Mortimer, Sell!

/Glad I don't deal with them anymore
 
2012-05-11 08:54:17 AM  
1. When will Jamie Dimon and his senior co-conspirators be jailed and awaiting charges of treason?
 
2012-05-11 08:55:09 AM  

Fissile: Just goes to prove that the people running these banks are sociopaths, if not outright psychopaths. Despite the melt down of 2008, nothing has changed, if anything, they are now doubling down.

The solution: Thousands of these bankers and Wall St. criminals need to be hauled off to jail and every dime taken from them. The entire financial system needs to be placed under strict regulation, like it was during Depression 1.0. Anyone who utters the words, "Austrian School" or "Any Rand", will be immediately placed up against a wall and shot.


Any Rand or ein Rand in particular?
 
2012-05-11 08:55:27 AM  

Nickninja: Fissile: Just goes to prove that the people running these banks are sociopaths, if not outright psychopaths. Despite the melt down of 2008, nothing has changed, if anything, they are now doubling down.

The solution: Thousands of these bankers and Wall St. criminals need to be hauled off to jail and every dime taken from them. The entire financial system needs to be placed under strict regulation, like it was during Depression 1.0. Anyone who utters the words, "Austrian School" or "Any Rand", will be immediately placed up against a wall and shot.

So much THIS!

This is the same horseshiat that's been happening for years. They screw everyone else over so that they can get rich and leave us with the ashes of a torched global economy. I would gladly pull the trigger.


I'd let the justice system take its course.

And then, I'd pull the trigger.
 
2012-05-11 08:55:58 AM  
It would be interesting to see the reaction of free-market bootstrappy GOP'er if JP Morgan suddenly needed a government bailout. What if the Obama administration said no, fend for yourselves farkers. Would they suddenly enter cognitive dissonance mode and scream bloody murder?

//Yeah, it won't happen because of the collateral damage inflicted, but still.
 
2012-05-11 08:56:14 AM  

SurfaceTension: To expand a bit on "short position", it's similar to borrowing $100 watch from your friend Joe, and then turning around and selling it to Anne for $100, because you think you'll be able to buy the watch (or an exact replica) for $60 at some future date before you have to give it back to Joe. In the transaction, you'd make $40 ($100-$60), less the fees you pay Joe to borrow his watch in the first place.


To illustrate the opposite direction, if the market price of the watch goes up, you are on the hook for anything over 100 bucks, because you have to buy the watch at market price and give it back to Joe. That's how you lose money in a short. You can theoretically lose *more* out of pocket than the face value of the stocks you shorted. And it happens.
 
2012-05-11 08:56:43 AM  

Aarontology: So when are these f*ckers going to jump?


The only jumping these farks will ever do:

www.kospictures.com
 
2012-05-11 08:58:44 AM  

SharkTrager: wrenchboy: Finance experts of Fark, please explain where the "lost" money goes. I am dying to get my hands on some of it.

Goldman Sachs.

They also have your missing socks.


They did, but they were leveraged as a "hard wealth asset" and marked up to fund structured derivatives and are now in a safe in Switzerland and worth about 45mm.
 
2012-05-11 08:59:56 AM  

Ficoce: Synthetic Credit. Can someone explain that in layman's terms?


Synthetic credit is nothing more than a bet. It is synthetic because neither the bank nor the client directly owns the product they are betting on.

I don't know enough to offer a simple example, though... maybe it is like you and I betting on what the price of Ford shares will be. Neither of us owns shares in Ford, but it is beneficial to both of us to make this bet, because it allows us to hide some of our risk from our balance sheets.

Hopefully someone can help with a better example.
 
2012-05-11 09:02:23 AM  

Generation_D: I'd let the justice system take its course.


These trades are perfectly legal. They shouldn't be, but the banks spent an awful lot of lobbying money to make sure they would not only be legal, but completely unregulated.
 
2012-05-11 09:03:35 AM  
Oh shiat. Are we really doing this again?

goddamnitsomuch
 
2012-05-11 09:04:42 AM  
The Globe & Mail calls them the venerable U.S. bank that was, until Thursday, widely respected for sound risk management.

I think what they meant to say was "the venerable U.S. bank that was, until Thursday, widely respected for not getting caught."
 
2012-05-11 09:05:40 AM  

TruBluTroll: Article doesn't mention for us non-business elite folks what half of that means. For example, what is a "position"?


Head down... A$$ up....
 
2012-05-11 09:06:57 AM  

skinnycatullus: Synthetic credit is nothing more than a bet. It is synthetic because neither the bank nor the client directly owns the product they are betting on.


So, a bookie joint that runs on bad makers? I thought the Federal Reserve had that action sewed up. Maybe they should send over Paulie and have a sit down.
 
2012-05-11 09:08:25 AM  
bad markers... sorry
 
2012-05-11 09:09:51 AM  

skinnycatullus: Ficoce: Synthetic Credit. Can someone explain that in layman's terms?

Synthetic credit is nothing more than a bet. It is synthetic because neither the bank nor the client directly owns the product they are betting on.

I don't know enough to offer a simple example, though... maybe it is like you and I betting on what the price of Ford shares will be. Neither of us owns shares in Ford, but it is beneficial to both of us to make this bet, because it allows us to hide some of our risk from our balance sheets.

Hopefully someone can help with a better example.


To me, it sounds like my neighbour borrowing money from Big Vinny, and using it to take out a 2 billion dollar life insurance policy on her husband. She may, or may not, be able to pay Vinny back, but either way, it's going to end badly for the husband.
 
2012-05-11 09:13:16 AM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: To me, it sounds like my neighbour borrowing money from Big Vinny, and using it to take out a 2 billion dollar life insurance policy on her husband. She may, or may not, be able to pay Vinny back, but either way, it's going to end badly for the husband.


Congratulations. You now have an economics degree.
 
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