If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Duplicate of another approved link: 7099258


(Fox Business)   J.P. Morgan holds surprise conference call, announces $2 billion in losses due to credit derivatives   (foxbusiness.com) divider line 93
    More: News, JPMorgan Chase & Co., credit derivatives, trading loss, proprietary trading, Dow Jones Newswires, CIO, Jamie Dimon, WFC  
•       •       •

2233 clicks; Favorite

93 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-05-10 06:38:13 PM
chanarchive.org
 
2012-05-10 06:50:00 PM
DOn't worry.

I'm sure there's some way to blame it on poor people or minorities. It's never the bank's fault.
 
2012-05-10 06:50:27 PM
Deja Vu
 
2012-05-10 06:50:44 PM
FTFA: Dimon said the trade, which came from its Chief Investment Office, was "flawed, complex, and poorly reviewed," according to Dow Jones Newswires. He went on to say that the mistake was "egregious."

So therefore we can deduce that someone has a big fat bonus coming

/jump you f*ckers
 
2012-05-10 06:55:59 PM
Two billion? I can live with two billion. It's an astronomical amount to MY life, but at least it isn't hundreds of billions or trillions this time.

So far.
 
2012-05-10 06:59:50 PM
JPMorgan Chase (JPM) revealed late Thursday that one of its units took a significant trading loss as a result of soured bets, sending shares plummeting in post-market trading.

Can we regulate these guys again?
 
2012-05-10 07:03:48 PM
I hope some senator appologizes to JP Morgan like they did for British Petroleum
 
2012-05-10 07:06:53 PM
I'm curious to see how they manage to socialize the losses so the taxpayer ends up with the bill.

/you know they're going to try
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-05-10 07:11:45 PM
$2 billion in trading losses in its synthetic credit portfolio in the past six weeks

Did Goldman Sachs make $2 billion in its synthetic credit portfolio the past six weeks?
 
2012-05-10 07:21:09 PM

Nadie_AZ: Can we regulate these guys again?


Those types of financial products have never been regulated and the banks spent millions to keep it that way. Look up Brooksley Born and the CFTC.
 
2012-05-10 07:33:17 PM
pffft. that's, like, jamie dimon's bar tab at the club. wake me when they talk real money.
 
2012-05-10 07:41:49 PM

Nadie_AZ: Can we regulate these guys again?


In my opinion, that's why Chase announced now. They're going to take a hit, the market's going to drop some, and they'll move on. At this point, it's just banking (and, especially, banking that can be blamed on a dude named Bruno). If they'd tried to hide this and cover it up, then they'd be asking for Congress to start digging.

It's smart business. Chase will make up the losses sooner, rather than later.

//Jump, you f*ckers
 
2012-05-10 07:42:29 PM

Nadie_AZ: JPMorgan Chase (JPM) revealed late Thursday that one of its units took a significant trading loss as a result of soured bets, sending shares plummeting in post-market trading.

Can we regulate these guys again?


Why do you hate the job creators?
 
2012-05-10 07:47:03 PM
Jump you f*ckers.
 
2012-05-10 07:53:02 PM
Yesterday:

"JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon took the opportunity at Monday evening's Fortune 500 dinner to hail American business and trash its critics.

Speaking at the New York Stock Exchange event, Dimon bemoaned what he called the "constant attack on business" and suggested that the economy should have added twice as many jobs in the past two years.

"American business has added 4 million jobs in the last 24 months," Dimon said. "That's not government jobs, and I don't think government policy had anything to do with it. It should have been 8 million."


Seriously can we just f*cking kill this guy now?
 
2012-05-10 08:00:55 PM
Play with fire, you gonna get burned. The big banks didn't want government to regulate these markets, I hope they are ready to take the responsibility that comes with thiet freedom.
 
2012-05-10 08:12:23 PM

itsdan: I hope some senator appologizes to JP Morgan like they did for British Petroleum


That was Joe Barton from the great state of Texas. He later was forced by saner members of his party to recant his apology.
 
2012-05-10 08:14:57 PM
Ohhhh... fark. them.
 
2012-05-10 08:29:21 PM
Jump you f*ckers.
 
2012-05-10 08:59:32 PM

bdub77: "American business has added 4 million jobs in the last 24 months," Dimon said. "That's not government jobs, and I don't think government policy had anything to do with it. It should have been 8 million."

Seriously can we just f*cking kill this guy now?


If we didn't have a minimum wage, insurance, sick days, vacation days, safety programs, 8 hour work days and all that- we should could hire a lot more!
 
2012-05-10 10:23:02 PM
Well, let's see-this kind of activity sank Bank One, which then became part of this machine, now they've repeated history. Say hello to Beijing Morgan National Bank. Nice going, Jamie.
 
2012-05-10 10:23:33 PM
Did they invest in the Chevy Volt or something?
 
2012-05-10 10:23:38 PM
What a $2 billion loss due to credit derivatives might look like:

img207.imageshack.us
 
2012-05-10 10:24:05 PM
Jump you f*ckers.
 
2012-05-10 10:24:32 PM
My brain doesn't understand economics, what does this mean?

Or at least, how many poor people are getting farked over by what these rich guys just did (or didn't do)?
 
2012-05-10 10:24:58 PM
Ah well. As long as they learn a lesson and take their losses like responsible adults, rather than try to shift the blame and repercussions to someone else, no harm done I guess.
 
2012-05-10 10:25:55 PM

Ivo Shandor: What a $2 billion loss due to credit derivatives might look like:

[img207.imageshack.us image 640x424]


Well, honestly, the ball hitting 0 is the same odds as it hitting any of the other 36 (37 if you're not in Vegas and they have a 00). It's the idiots that bet on just black/red that really get farked on 0.

/just sayin
 
2012-05-10 10:26:05 PM
Oh great, no one fixed the problem 5 years ago and now we're all farked again.

/Need to line up all those responsible and send them out the window like paratroopers.
 
2012-05-10 10:26:12 PM
Damn you, Obama!
 
2012-05-10 10:26:14 PM
Is this the plot of margin call or did I watch that wrong?
 
2012-05-10 10:26:20 PM
So is $2 billion a big deal to J.P. Morgan, or is it the kind of money they lose down the back of the sofa?
 
2012-05-10 10:26:57 PM
boards.38chan.net

obligatory
 
2012-05-10 10:27:43 PM
Isn't $2bn small potatoes compared to what was being lost in 07/08?
 
2012-05-10 10:29:43 PM

Nadie_AZ: If we didn't have a minimum wage, insurance, sick days, vacation days, safety programs, 8 hour work days and all that- we should could hire a lot more!



Sure, sure, because companies just hire people for the heck of it. You know, because like some stereotypical socialist concern, they just create jobs that have no purpose.

Dear JP Morgan:

Please continue to manage your company like the financial "wizards" that you are. May you DIAF when we have a sane president who will let your greedy a55es twist in the wind.

Also, enjoy the losses; there will be more to come.

i651.photobucket.com
 
2012-05-10 10:29:47 PM
Time to fire the money catapult at them again, huh? Actually, this time I'd like Obama to show up at their headquarters with one of those four foot long checks like the publishers sweepstakes guys do, that'd be a really great photo op. Shaking hands, balloons, congratulations: you're a winner, and all that.
 
2012-05-10 10:30:19 PM
So, who the hell has made a shiat load of money in the past month?

CanuckInCA: Isn't $2bn small potatoes compared to what was being lost in 07/08?


In the past six weeks though...
 
2012-05-10 10:30:43 PM
Jump you f*ckers.
 
2012-05-10 10:30:53 PM

bdub77: Yesterday:

"JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon took the opportunity at Monday evening's Fortune 500 dinner to hail American business and trash its critics.

Speaking at the New York Stock Exchange event, Dimon bemoaned what he called the "constant attack on business" and suggested that the economy should have added twice as many jobs in the past two years.

"American business has added 4 million jobs in the last 24 months," Dimon said. "That's not government jobs, and I don't think government policy had anything to do with it. It should have been 8 million."

Seriously can we just f*cking kill this guy now?


How many jobs would $2 billion fund?
 
2012-05-10 10:30:56 PM
api.ning.com
 
2012-05-10 10:31:02 PM
This wouldn't have happened if Obama didn't say nice things about gays.
 
2012-05-10 10:31:16 PM
Wednesday's Fark headline:

In between dinner with Fortune and foreclosing on troops, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon finds time to claim credit for everything good in the world, blame Occupy Wall Street for everything bad, and say CEOs are victims of discrimination

What ever happened to tarring and feathering?
 
2012-05-10 10:31:52 PM
Time to do away with OTC derivatives. Among other things.
 
2012-05-10 10:33:25 PM
I imagine the link is super interesting. If I were a part of that conference, I'd ask Mr. Morgan what 'credit derivative' means.
 
2012-05-10 10:33:36 PM

NowhereMon: Play with fire, you gonna get burned. The big banks didn't want government to regulate these markets, I hope they are ready to take the responsibility that comes with thiet freedom.


...like another bailout and increasing the ursurous fees they charge people for the privilege of using thier bank?

Also, what's the 'jump farkers' meme someone's trying to farkstart? Encouragement to go to a local bank/CU?

My local bank is expanding, and becoming more like a 'big bank' in how they do a lot of things. I'm not particularly happy with that. May be time to go to a CU myself.

Will this cockblock me from buying a house in the next 5 years? I've had the same bank account since I ever had any (about 15 years now?), never had an overdraft fee or any negative ding on my bank/account/credit, but I hear part of the lovely bullshiat credit shell game is that you have to keep your primary account open as long as humanly possible.
 
2012-05-10 10:35:50 PM

Cathedralmaster: Oh great, no one fixed the problem 5 years ago and now we're all farked again.

/Need to line up all those responsible and send them out the window like paratroopers.


Start here:

i651.photobucket.com
...any that survive need to go to a PMITA prison to serve as a punishment and warning to the others.

See, this is what happens when a Too Big To Fail company gets "bailed out" without the follow-up of serious, comprehensive reform & regulation.
 
2012-05-10 10:35:56 PM
2 billion I can live with. 2 trillion was a bit of a problem.

Hopefully, the next time will be 2 million.
 
2012-05-10 10:37:07 PM

basemetal: [api.ning.com image 640x424]


i.imgur.com

This bears repeating.
i.imgur.com
 
2012-05-10 10:37:13 PM
These guys are worse than alcoholics. Born farking liars, destined to make the same mistake, apologize and say they'll never ever do that again.
 
2012-05-10 10:38:15 PM

Hobodeluxe: [boards.38chan.net image 533x800]

obligatory


img836.imageshack.us

Madoff wife says "Gentiles Are Responsible For This"

obligatory
 
2012-05-10 10:39:00 PM
Because self-regulation allows job creators ... to ... ummm ... I mean, self-regulation protects consumers by ... umm ... uhhh ... Self-regulation reduces costs by .. uhhh ... fark it, give me your money and ignore what we do with it. (/s)

The US Currency is a product of the US Government and should its value decline then the US Government is on the hook. The actions of the finance industry have a direct impact on the value of the US Currency, so there is absolutely no reason not to regulate any given facet. Anyone who believes that the finance industry is better served with self-regulation is a fool, and more likely one that deserves to part with their money to unregulated financiers.

...
 
Displayed 50 of 93 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report