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(SFGate)   Six things your husband's mother would love to hear -- if you can choke the words out from between your clenched teeth   (dating.sfgate.com) divider line 131
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18249 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2012 at 3:04 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-10 02:17:56 PM
Six BLATANT LIES to keep your husband's shrew of a mother off your back while you mold him into something other than the momma's boy she forced him to be.
 
2012-05-10 02:19:17 PM
The first time I brought my now wife over to meet my mother, my wife cleaned out my mother's cats' litter pans. Almost 18 years later and she can still do no wrong in my mother's glaucoma eyes.

/yes, pans -- my mom was on the border of being that crazy cat woman before she stopped adding
//my MIL is that crazy cat woman
 
2012-05-10 02:41:21 PM
I love my mother-in-law. She's the sweetest woman alive. She lives right next door and has been a total lifesaver in regards to my son. She spoils all of us rotten. I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law.
 
2012-05-10 02:45:45 PM
Six Ass-Kissing, Sappy Platitudes No Mother Worth Her Salt Would Ever Take Seriously
 
2012-05-10 03:07:03 PM

Saborlas: Six BLATANT LIES to keep your husband's shrew of a mother off your back while you mold him into something other than the momma's boy she forced him to be.


...you don't sound happy with life.
 
2012-05-10 03:08:21 PM
Yea, if you think contrivances endear you to people.

/they don't
 
2012-05-10 03:08:30 PM

katerbug72: I love my mother-in-law. She's the sweetest woman alive. She lives right next door and has been a total lifesaver in regards to my son. She spoils all of us rotten. I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law.


MIL-like typing detected.
 
2012-05-10 03:08:34 PM
I'm not married yet, but my GF's mom is alright. She likes me, she doesn't impose, and she falls within the socially acceptable range of crazy.
 
2012-05-10 03:08:52 PM
Dating ad that obscures the entire screen when I click through?

No thanks.
 
2012-05-10 03:09:51 PM

katerbug72: I love my mother-in-law. She's the sweetest woman alive. She lives right next door and has been a total lifesaver in regards to my son. She spoils all of us rotten. I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law.


So you're saying she knows your Fark username?
 
2012-05-10 03:10:21 PM
I think my wife would gladly say 2 - 6 without hesitation to my mother. she'd snicker saying #1
 
2012-05-10 03:10:29 PM

Treygreen13: Dating ad that obscures the entire screen when I click through?

No thanks.


Ditto
 
2012-05-10 03:12:18 PM
How bout you not marry a momma's boy.
 
2012-05-10 03:12:44 PM

exick: Six Ass-Kissing, Sappy Platitudes No Mother Worth Her Salt Would Ever Take Seriously


I don't usually say this, but this.
 
2012-05-10 03:12:49 PM
I don't like my mother and she has shown no interest in being part of my life or my wife or my kids life so F her. And my wife feels the same.

/Fark you 'mom'!
 
2012-05-10 03:13:26 PM
Strangely missing is the old "Thanks for castrating him into being a dishrag of a momma's boy who didn't even say a thing when I told him I was quitting my job to work 'full time' on my novel."
 
2012-05-10 03:14:17 PM
My fiance is a little concerned about my relationship with my mother. It's not that I love my mother so much as I'm really sick of her sh*t and deep down inside I'm hoping she falls into a wood chipper.

/Love you mom!
//Only because I have to
 
2012-05-10 03:14:43 PM

Treygreen13: Dating ad that obscures the entire screen when I click through?

No thanks.


Then you need the Element Hiding Helper for AdBlock Plus!

It gets rid of that inane add AND the Intersatial overlay!
 
2012-05-10 03:15:14 PM
I can't believe someone gets paid to write that crap.
 
2012-05-10 03:16:18 PM
If you read them on a dating site, one of them might be "We're getting a divorce."
 
2012-05-10 03:16:20 PM
Hubby is definitely a momma's boy, but he admits it and she admits she raised him that way. I love my MIL and don't know what we'd do without her. There's not a day that goes by that we don't see or talk to her. It's a shame that MILs have gotten such a bad rap. There are a few gems out there, trust me.
 
2012-05-10 03:17:08 PM
My mother would not care two bits about those statements.
 
2012-05-10 03:18:13 PM
As I told my wife, my mother's opinion is based on how well my wife treats me, not idiotic vain parlance.
 
2012-05-10 03:18:15 PM

TheNewJesus: I can't believe someone gets paid to write that crap.


Damn you you beat me to it!

Also, no. I'm an adult now and I don't want to spend the rest of my life worrying about what my mother (and hers) have to say. That was the first part of my life, thank you.
 
2012-05-10 03:19:57 PM
Oh farking please. If you have to say these things to your spouse's mother, you have a couple of problems.

And, yeah, this is about Sunday being mother's day. I'm so farking glad my mother would not allow us to observe this stupid Hallmark Holiday.
 
2012-05-10 03:20:48 PM
My mom would probably like to hear "hey, you're alive!"
 
2012-05-10 03:22:18 PM
Two things...

First, I wouldn't be caught DEAD saying any of those things to my MIL. She's nice and I like her, but I don't see why I need to stroke her ego.

Second... #4 says, "Will you teach me the secrets of being an awesome parent when I have kids?" and underneath after the little paragraph it, it says, " Related: The Top 10 Secret Places to Hook Up in Disney World" I fail to see how the two are related...
 
2012-05-10 03:22:48 PM
I'll be taking MIL out to dinner this Sunday instead of my mom - happily and willingly. I don't need to spout nonsense like in TFA for her to know I love her and respect her. Then again, my MIL has been more of a mom to me than my actual mother for most of my life, and I've made damn sure she knows that and knows how much I appreciate it.
 
2012-05-10 03:23:16 PM
Stewie is the best at this.

"Your book is good enough on its own merit"
 
2012-05-10 03:24:25 PM

katerbug72: I love my mother-in-law. She's the sweetest woman alive. She lives right next door and has been a total lifesaver in regards to my son. She spoils all of us rotten. I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law.


If you hadn't told her your fark handle you wouldn't have to make up this shiat.
 
2012-05-10 03:25:36 PM

sendbillmoney: My mom would probably like to hear "hey, you're alive!"


Yep, same here :-/
 
2012-05-10 03:26:14 PM

JackieRabbit: Oh farking please. If you have to say these things to your spouse's mother, you have a couple of problems.

And, yeah, this is about Sunday being mother's day. I'm so farking glad my mother would not allow us to observe this stupid Hallmark Holiday.


But she's given us such a gift!
 
2012-05-10 03:26:21 PM
Sorry jaggars, didn't see your post.
 
2012-05-10 03:26:22 PM
We're already 1,000 miles away. Whoops.
 
2012-05-10 03:26:46 PM
All my mother wanted to hear from my ex-wife was 'we're getting a divorce'.

/I got to tell her though
//on my wedding day mom said 'there's always next time'
 
2012-05-10 03:28:39 PM

dabbletech: katerbug72: I love my mother-in-law. She's the sweetest woman alive. She lives right next door and has been a total lifesaver in regards to my son. She spoils all of us rotten. I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law.

If you hadn't told her your fark handle you wouldn't have to make up this shiat.


Bwahahaha
 
2012-05-10 03:30:52 PM
That was confusing...

I clicked the link.... am I supposed to date my Mother in Law or something? I don't get it.

The ex's mom was batshiat insane.

I learned something about trees, nuts and gravity.

/Never again
 
2012-05-10 03:33:50 PM
As a general rule, I think married couples should confront their blood parents more often about making their spouses feel uncomfortable. In fact I consider any person who is not able to get in their parents face on such a subject to not be ready for marriage.

/yes I'm lonely.
 
2012-05-10 03:34:49 PM
Could be Indian...'Why yes, my father will buy your son a car:
 
2012-05-10 03:35:07 PM
Heh...neither my MIL nor my mother would believe those cavity-inducing exaggerations, both would probably think the hubby and I were trying to get some funds out of them.

/love ya, Meg, but stop bugging me about grandkids
 
2012-05-10 03:35:10 PM
My former mother-in-law always acted like she suspected I had a Klan robe in the closet. I could have told her every platitude on the planet and she still would have treated me like I had worms crawling out of open sores on my head.

OTOH, she did apologize after she read my attorney's account of her darling daughter emptying out the kids' college fund so she could go on an expensive vacation.

Also: have we Farked SFGate? Yay!
 
2012-05-10 03:35:58 PM

Big Man On Campus: As a general rule, I think married couples should confront their blood parents more often about making their spouses feel uncomfortable. In fact I consider any person who is not able to get in their parents face on such a subject to not be ready for marriage.

/yes I'm lonely.


I agree. I always handle my parents directly. Issue comes up, I go to them. I don't make her deal with it. This is related to my parents being nuts.
 
2012-05-10 03:37:17 PM

Honest Bender: I'm not married yet, but my GF's mom is alright. She likes me, she doesn't impose, and she falls within the socially acceptable range of crazy.


This. My wife's mother is about 10X better than my own mother. She has her own special blend if crazy, but its the caring, I'll help you kids however I can crazy. Unlike my mother, who is the everyone hates me, I can't get a job where people treat me right, I need money for this bullshiat kind of crazy.
 
2012-05-10 03:37:30 PM
Strangely absent: "I'll bet you're fantastic at blow jobs just like your daughter!"
 
2012-05-10 03:38:02 PM

OscarTamerz: Strangely missing is the old "Thanks for castrating him into being a dishrag of a momma's boy who didn't even say a thing when I told him I was quitting my job to work 'full time' on my novel."


I am getting a kick out of this reply because I am, in fact, quitting my job to work full time on my novel.

/husband and I talked extensively about it first though
//still honestly not sure how not being against his wife not pursuing traditional work would make him a mama's boy
 
2012-05-10 03:38:34 PM

Doink_Boink: Strangely absent: "I'll bet you're fantastic at blow jobs just like your daughter!"


I lol'd..

/and would consider using this on a MIL I didn't like.
 
2012-05-10 03:40:14 PM
the only thing that scares me about my mother in law is what's been happening in my sisters-in-law's families. one has had a baby. the mother in law is over in the sister's house all the time. and they live 6 hours apart, which means prolonged stays. my other sister-in-law is pregnant, and now the mother in law plans on staying with her for a month around the expected date.

makes me really not want to impregnate the wife. i hate extended stay guests. fark, even if it was my mom, who i love immeasurably, I'd start leaving the pineapple out around day 3.

/ leaving a pineapple by the door is a polite way of saying gtfo, or so I've been told. maybe i shouldn't use phrases with which I am not familiar.
 
2012-05-10 03:40:17 PM

Doink_Boink: Strangely absent: "I'll bet you're fantastic at blow jobs just like your daughter!"


Your husband's mother. Your mother, in other words.
 
2012-05-10 03:40:44 PM

Tali: I'll be taking MIL out to dinner this Sunday instead of my mom - happily and willingly. I don't need to spout nonsense like in TFA for her to know I love her and respect her. Then again, my MIL has been more of a mom to me than my actual mother for most of my life, and I've made damn sure she knows that and knows how much I appreciate it.


Same for me. I talk to my MIL far more than my mother, and can expect better help or advice from her.
 
2012-05-10 03:41:09 PM

blueviking: Heh...neither my MIL nor my mother would believe those cavity-inducing exaggerations, both would probably think the hubby and I were trying to get some funds out of them.

/love ya, Meg, but stop bugging me about grandkids


My MIL says the same things. I just point to her daughter and say "place your order with her" because that's easier than saying "if your farking daughter would put out more than once a year....."
 
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