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(Gawker)   Mom puts boob in giant preschool son's mouth on cover of Time and you've clicked the link waka waka waka   (gawker.com) divider line 435
    More: Weird, Freudian, preschools, mom  
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25562 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2012 at 5:01 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-05-10 09:32:23 PM  
Here's my issue: that picture really is the mom, and her supposedly 3 year-old son. He actually looks several years older than that, though. It's obviously a posed photo of them, which prompts the question, was he actually feeding and needed to feed? Or did she just whip em out and ask the kid to pretend to be drinking?

Because if he's just playing with it in his mouth, that is creepy beyond all fark.
 
2012-05-10 09:34:15 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: I can't see the problem there, really. These women breastfeeding until they're toddlers have some sort of mental issue.


This.
You
Oh, and I mean this as politely as possible:
5 kids is too much. I hope you're done adding more people to this overpopulated planet.


And not this. WTF!

I don't remember agreeing and disagreeing with someone so much before.
 
2012-05-10 09:35:48 PM  

ace in your face: gadian: Generally speaking, I have a problem with breast feeding when the kid is old enough to pull the boob out and do it himself. I mean, the kid really should be on solids by then, there can't be that much nutritional value to it. I thought breastfeeding was great the ....4 weeks I did it with the youngest boy and we (and the pediatrician) figured out the kid was screaming after he ate because he was born lactose intolerant. Yay for soy formula and the fading urge to kill and eat the son!

breast milk doesn't have lactose. Breast feeding mothers with lactose intolerant babies just have to stop eating dairy, Anyway, my daughter is 15 months old, eats solids, but she still nurses at night for the comfort, I don't do it for the nutrition. That's silly.


That's interesting because lactose intolerance is widely accepted in medical community. Not eating dairy does not stop lactose production.
 
2012-05-10 09:37:39 PM  

HotWingAgenda: Here's my issue: that picture really is the mom, and her supposedly 3 year-old son. He actually looks several years older than that, though. It's obviously a posed photo of them, which prompts the question, was he actually feeding and needed to feed? Or did she just whip em out and ask the kid to pretend to be drinking?

Because if he's just playing with it in his mouth, that is creepy beyond all fark.


First of all, the kid is supposedly 4, not 3. And even if he IS 'feeding', does that somehow make it less creepy beyond all fark?

/Hint: the answer is 'No'.
 
2012-05-10 09:38:40 PM  

9beers: adamgreeney: All 50. It is called sexual abuse. You can't let kids under 18 suck on your tits. People go to jail for that.

The laws state that a woman can breast feed her child in public, nowhere does it say that the child has to be under a certain age. Assume all you want but assumptions are not laws.


I gather what is meant is it is sexual abuse to let kids under 18 suck on your tits in public unless they are your kids. Pretty sure adults who are not related are not allowed to suck on teh boobies in public though. So no boobie sucking in public unless it is on your mom, but if it is your mom it doesn't matter how old you are.
 
2012-05-10 09:40:08 PM  

HotWingConspiracy: ArcadianRefugee: Odd? In developed areas, sure. Creepy? Not if you know that many cultures breastfeed for two to three years.

People keep saying this, but...which cultures?


Apparently Mongolians breastfeed for a long time.

Unreferenced repeats of the "years" claim here (WARNING: Comic Sans.

Referenced repeat of the claim here.


And this woman says she was breastfed until 6...is this supposedly "normal" somewhere?

The first article says this:

"In Mongolia, there's an oft-quoted saying that the best wrestlers are breastfed for at least six years"

although I don't think the lady on the Time cover is Mongolian.
 
2012-05-10 09:40:48 PM  

Nidiot: gather what is meant is it is sexual abuse to let kids under 18 suck on your tits in public unless they are your kids.


I think he misspoke and meant to say kids over 18. So I guess his argument is that a 17 year old can still breast feed but an 18 year old can't.
 
2012-05-10 09:41:05 PM  

sleeps in trees: ace in your face: gadian: Generally speaking, I have a problem with breast feeding when the kid is old enough to pull the boob out and do it himself. I mean, the kid really should be on solids by then, there can't be that much nutritional value to it. I thought breastfeeding was great the ....4 weeks I did it with the youngest boy and we (and the pediatrician) figured out the kid was screaming after he ate because he was born lactose intolerant. Yay for soy formula and the fading urge to kill and eat the son!

breast milk doesn't have lactose. Breast feeding mothers with lactose intolerant babies just have to stop eating dairy, Anyway, my daughter is 15 months old, eats solids, but she still nurses at night for the comfort, I don't do it for the nutrition. That's silly.

That's interesting because lactose intolerance is widely accepted in medical community. Not eating dairy does not stop lactose production.


There's a difference between galactosemia and lactose intolerance. Most babies with lactose intolerance can continue to nurse successfully, although it DOES require some pretty extreme dietary restriction on the part of their mothers. Galactosemia is much more severe and caused by an entirely different mechanism. I'm not an LC, so I'm not entirely sure on the specifics, but they're two TOTALLY different diseases that are often confused.
 
2012-05-10 09:43:37 PM  
Peeks in thread. Oh geez.
 
2012-05-10 09:43:43 PM  

9beers: Lets talk more about her breastfeeding her adopted kid. Breastfeeding a 5 year old is farking weird to begin with, the fact that she didn't even adopt the kid until he was 3 takes it to another level of crazy.


The adoption thing has nothing to do with it. The crazy level is consistent for natural parent or adopted parent. You don't breastfeed a 4 or 5 (or older) year old.
 
2012-05-10 09:47:06 PM  

theknuckler_33: The adoption thing has nothing to do with it.


The fact that she started breastfeeding a 3 year old most certainly has something to do with it. It's one thing to adopt an infant and start breast feeding, it's farking disgusting to do it with a 3 year old.
 
2012-05-10 09:47:47 PM  

theknuckler_33: 9beers: Lets talk more about her breastfeeding her adopted kid. Breastfeeding a 5 year old is farking weird to begin with, the fact that she didn't even adopt the kid until he was 3 takes it to another level of crazy.

The adoption thing has nothing to do with it. The crazy level is consistent for natural parent or adopted parent. You don't breastfeed a 4 or 5 (or older) year old.


I agree that there's nothing wrong with nursing an adopted child, but I do agree that it's a bit weird to nurse a child you adopted at the age of 3. Induced lactation (where you trigger lactation without ever having been pregnant or given birth) is HARD! There are certain medicines you can take to help, but ultimately, inducing lactation requires round-the-clock breastpumping every 2-3 hours for several months in order to develop the supply needed to feed a child. I've seen that in adoptive parents who are adopting a newborn or even a young baby (
 
2012-05-10 09:51:03 PM  

morgantx: sleeps in trees: ace in your face: gadian: Generally speaking, I have a problem with breast feeding when the kid is old enough to pull the boob out and do it himself. I mean, the kid really should be on solids by then, there can't be that much nutritional value to it. I thought breastfeeding was great the ....4 weeks I did it with the youngest boy and we (and the pediatrician) figured out the kid was screaming after he ate because he was born lactose intolerant. Yay for soy formula and the fading urge to kill and eat the son!

breast milk doesn't have lactose. Breast feeding mothers with lactose intolerant babies just have to stop eating dairy, Anyway, my daughter is 15 months old, eats solids, but she still nurses at night for the comfort, I don't do it for the nutrition. That's silly.

That's interesting because lactose intolerance is widely accepted in medical community. Not eating dairy does not stop lactose production.

There's a difference between galactosemia and lactose intolerance. Most babies with lactose intolerance can continue to nurse successfully, although it DOES require some pretty extreme dietary restriction on the part of their mothers. Galactosemia is much more severe and caused by an entirely different mechanism. I'm not an LC, so I'm not entirely sure on the specifics, but they're two TOTALLY different diseases that are often confused.


See now that makes sense. But as you said lactose intolerance does not go away because of diet. Both my boys are have severe reactions to casein. Ohhh the diapers as babies, I deserve a freaking medal.
 
2012-05-10 09:52:12 PM  

9beers: theknuckler_33: The adoption thing has nothing to do with it.

The fact that she started breastfeeding a 3 year old most certainly has something to do with it. It's one thing to adopt an infant and start breast feeding, it's farking disgusting to do it with a 3 year old.


I guess my point was that breastfeeding a 3 year old is farking disgusting, period. The fact that she started that practice at the time she adopted the kid... at 3 years old... didn't make is less disgusting to me. Why is she breastfeeding a 3 year old at all!
 
2012-05-10 09:54:01 PM  

theknuckler_33: I'm really unaware of how a child uses potty to manipulate their parents. Other than not wanting to be on it, I fail to see how the kids can use the potty to manipulate their parents. Can you describe a scenario or two?


Bowel movements and urination are one of the few things a 18-36 month old actually has control over, and at least the former demands a near-immediate reaction from the parent.

I've trained two myself (one of which didn't want to, the other had no issues). I've seen a few others with issues. Many times, it strikes me as one of those "Look how I can make you react" type of behaviors.
 
2012-05-10 09:55:10 PM  
Ewe.
 
2012-05-10 09:55:18 PM  
The mother is selfish and just made her son's school life tougher than it should.
 
2012-05-10 09:55:25 PM  

morgantx: theknuckler_33: 9beers: Lets talk more about her breastfeeding her adopted kid. Breastfeeding a 5 year old is farking weird to begin with, the fact that she didn't even adopt the kid until he was 3 takes it to another level of crazy.

The adoption thing has nothing to do with it. The crazy level is consistent for natural parent or adopted parent. You don't breastfeed a 4 or 5 (or older) year old.

I agree that there's nothing wrong with nursing an adopted child, but I do agree that it's a bit weird to nurse a child you adopted at the age of 3. Induced lactation (where you trigger lactation without ever having been pregnant or given birth) is HARD! There are certain medicines you can take to help, but ultimately, inducing lactation requires round-the-clock breastpumping every 2-3 hours for several months in order to develop the supply needed to feed a child. I've seen that in adoptive parents who are adopting a newborn or even a young baby (


Am I mistaken that the younger child is her own natural child? If that is the case, when she adopted the 3 year old, she was already nursing the younger one, so there was no need to induce lactation.

Doesn't change the weird factor though. Who the fark adopts a 3 year old kid and starts sticking their tit in their mouth? WTF!!!
 
2012-05-10 09:58:35 PM  

Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: I'm really unaware of how a child uses potty to manipulate their parents. Other than not wanting to be on it, I fail to see how the kids can use the potty to manipulate their parents. Can you describe a scenario or two?

Bowel movements and urination are one of the few things a 18-36 month old actually has control over,


WTF?
 
2012-05-10 09:59:12 PM  

theknuckler_33: Am I mistaken that the younger child is her own natural child? If that is the case, when she adopted the 3 year old, she was already nursing the younger one, so there was no need to induce lactation.


No, that's what happened. She was already breastfeeding her own child when the 3 year old showed up. I guess she looked at him and figured....

memedepot.com
 
2012-05-10 10:00:36 PM  

theknuckler_33: Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: I'm really unaware of how a child uses potty to manipulate their parents. Other than not wanting to be on it, I fail to see how the kids can use the potty to manipulate their parents. Can you describe a scenario or two?

Bowel movements and urination are one of the few things a 18-36 month old actually has control over,

WTF?


Are you saying that a two year old can't control when it pisses or shiats?
 
2012-05-10 10:00:47 PM  

theknuckler_33: Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: I'm really unaware of how a child uses potty to manipulate their parents. Other than not wanting to be on it, I fail to see how the kids can use the potty to manipulate their parents. Can you describe a scenario or two?

Bowel movements and urination are one of the few things a 18-36 month old actually has control over,

WTF?


Didn't mean any disrespect, but I have a hard time accepting the concept that 18-36 month olds have control over their bowel movements or urination. I have a kid too and that, sure as shiat (no pun intended), was not my experience.
 
2012-05-10 10:02:28 PM  

Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: I'm really unaware of how a child uses potty to manipulate their parents. Other than not wanting to be on it, I fail to see how the kids can use the potty to manipulate their parents. Can you describe a scenario or two?

Bowel movements and urination are one of the few things a 18-36 month old actually has control over,

WTF?

Are you saying that a two year old can't control when it pisses or shiats?


Uh... yea. Your two year old didn't wear diapers?
 
2012-05-10 10:04:49 PM  

theknuckler_33: morgantx: theknuckler_33: 9beers: Lets talk more about her breastfeeding her adopted kid. Breastfeeding a 5 year old is farking weird to begin with, the fact that she didn't even adopt the kid until he was 3 takes it to another level of crazy.

The adoption thing has nothing to do with it. The crazy level is consistent for natural parent or adopted parent. You don't breastfeed a 4 or 5 (or older) year old.

I agree that there's nothing wrong with nursing an adopted child, but I do agree that it's a bit weird to nurse a child you adopted at the age of 3. Induced lactation (where you trigger lactation without ever having been pregnant or given birth) is HARD! There are certain medicines you can take to help, but ultimately, inducing lactation requires round-the-clock breastpumping every 2-3 hours for several months in order to develop the supply needed to feed a child. I've seen that in adoptive parents who are adopting a newborn or even a young baby (

Am I mistaken that the younger child is her own natural child? If that is the case, when she adopted the 3 year old, she was already nursing the younger one, so there was no need to induce lactation.

Doesn't change the weird factor though. Who the fark adopts a 3 year old kid and starts sticking their tit in their mouth? WTF!!!


You're right! Thank you for that; I'm not too good at math! :)

Now given that, I would wonder if there's a background to that...

I'm about to have this next baby, and my 2-year-old has been OBSESSED with my boobs during this pregnancy. Seriously, it's been weird. He's barely noticed my belly swelling, but ever since about the second trimester, it's been a nightmare trying to keep his hands out of my shirt (and he was weaned at 8 months). He even stashes his pacifiers down my bra if I'm not looking! I'm a little worried about how he's going to react when the new baby comes and gets to nurse off of my breasts. I won't be surprised if he tries to "nurse" again. He's fully weaned, mind you, but I wouldn't be surprised if he wants to try it just out of the jealousy factor.

So given that this older child came into the home probably not too long after the youngest was born, I wonder if the older child expressed an interest in nursing? That wouldn't be unusual, especially for an adopted child. I still don't know how comfortable I would be with allowing an older child (natural-born or adopted) to nurse again at that age, but it does open up the question of whether there are other circumstances involved. If she's an AP parent, she may have allowed the older one to "sample" breastfeeding in the hopes that it would help him to feel more like one of the family and less like an outsider.

That still strikes me as a bit weird, but I honestly can't tell whether that's a socially conditioned response (and there's a good possibility that society is wrong in this situation) or a natural instinct. I just couldn't say.
 
2012-05-10 10:05:37 PM  

theknuckler_33: Didn't mean any disrespect, but I have a hard time accepting the concept that 18-36 month olds have control over their bowel movements or urination. I have a kid too and that, sure as shiat (no pun intended), was not my experience.


American Academy of Pediatrics say that children's elimination muscles reach full maturity somewhere between 12-24 months, and the average age of maturity is 18 months.

Don't get me wrong; potty training readiness is about a lot more than the physical ability to control. But if you think a two year old can't control his/her streams and BMs, you're the one being manipulated.
 
2012-05-10 10:05:45 PM  

9beers: theknuckler_33: Am I mistaken that the younger child is her own natural child? If that is the case, when she adopted the 3 year old, she was already nursing the younger one, so there was no need to induce lactation.

No, that's what happened. She was already breastfeeding her own child when the 3 year old showed up. I guess she looked at him and figured....

[wellwhythefarknot.jpg]


I'm annoyed that I laughed that at. You should feel bad.

/or something
 
2012-05-10 10:06:25 PM  

theknuckler_33: First of all, the kid is supposedly 4, not 3. And even if he IS 'feeding', does that somehow make it less creepy beyond all fark?


My bad. He still looks closer to 6 or 7 to me. And honestly, yes, it would make it less skeevy. If he's actually getting a light snack from there, versus just sucking on some nip for fun? WAY less creepy. Still bad, but not as bad as it appears to be.
 
2012-05-10 10:09:47 PM  

morgantx: You're right! Thank you for that; I'm not too good at math! :)

Now given that, I would wonder if there's a background to that...

I'm about to have this next baby, and my 2-year-old has been OBSESSED with my boobs during this pregnancy. Seriously, it's been weird. He's barely noticed my belly swelling, but ever since about the second trimester, it's been a nightmare trying to keep his hands out of my shirt (and he was weaned at 8 months). He even stashes his pacifiers down my bra if I'm not looking! I'm a little worried about how he's going to react when the new baby comes and gets to nurse off of my breasts. I won't be surprised if he tries to "nurse" again. He's fully weaned, mind you, but I wouldn't be surprised if he wants to try it just out of the jealousy factor.

So given that this older child came into the home probably not too long after the youngest was born, I wonder if the older child expressed an interest in nursing? That wouldn't be unusual, especially for an adopted child. I still don't know how comfortable I would be with allowing an older child (natural-born or adopted) to nurse again at that age, but it does open up the question of whether there are other circumstances involved. If she's an AP parent, she may have allowed the older one to "sample" breastfeeding in the hopes that it would help him to feel more like one of the family and less like an outsider.

That still strikes me as a bit weird, but I honestly can't tell whether that's a socially conditioned response (and there's a good possibility that society is wrong in this situation) or a natural instinct. I just couldn't say.



So am I. Sorry, I couldn't read any further.

/fap
//sorry
 
2012-05-10 10:09:56 PM  
I only wish my mouth were where his is.

/the lucky bastard
 
2012-05-10 10:12:33 PM  

theknuckler_33: Uh... yea. Your two year old didn't wear diapers?


Of course they did. I'm saying that potty training problems are not generally oriented around their physical ability to control. A kid that age doesn't get to choose when it eats, sleeps, reads, watches TV, plays, or anything. The only thing a child has absolute timing control over is when they eliminate and get mom or dad over to change their diaper. That's not a bad thing.

When I see a three and a half or four year old child that won't use the toilet, frequently it's as much about getting mom or dad to do something at the child's demand as it is anything else.
 
2012-05-10 10:12:35 PM  

Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: Didn't mean any disrespect, but I have a hard time accepting the concept that 18-36 month olds have control over their bowel movements or urination. I have a kid too and that, sure as shiat (no pun intended), was not my experience.

American Academy of Pediatrics say that children's elimination muscles reach full maturity somewhere between 12-24 months, and the average age of maturity is 18 months.

Don't get me wrong; potty training readiness is about a lot more than the physical ability to control. But if you think a two year old can't control his/her streams and BMs, you're the one being manipulated.


So, my two year old was manipulating me into keeping them in diapers. That is your assertion?
 
2012-05-10 10:15:40 PM  

HotWingAgenda: theknuckler_33: First of all, the kid is supposedly 4, not 3. And even if he IS 'feeding', does that somehow make it less creepy beyond all fark?

My bad. He still looks closer to 6 or 7 to me. And honestly, yes, it would make it less skeevy. If he's actually getting a light snack from there, versus just sucking on some nip for fun? WAY less creepy. Still bad, but not as bad as it appears to be.


Seems like you are looking at the creepy factor from what the kid's intention is whereas I'm looking at it from the mom's perspective. It's less creepy that mom is letting a 4 year old gobble on her tit... I mean, he can't drink from a sippy-cup? What is the advantage of her 4 year old sucking on her chest?
 
2012-05-10 10:21:27 PM  
mitchieville.com
 
2012-05-10 10:23:13 PM  

theknuckler_33: So, my two year old was manipulating me into keeping them in diapers. That is your assertion?


Look, you asked me for examples of how a child might use diapers to manipulate their parents. Now all of a sudden I'm accusing your child of being manipulative. You sound like one of these ridiculous, hyper-sensitive, intolerant helicopter moms. For the record, I said that a 2 year old has the muscular ability to control elimination (unless there's a medical problem). That doesn't mean s/he's ready to potty train.

The example I provide you is a child (not a toddler) who's unafraid of the toilet yet refuses to use it, it's as likely to be a ploy to control the timing of parental attention as it is anything else.
 
2012-05-10 10:24:20 PM  

theknuckler_33: Seems like you are looking at the creepy factor from what the kid's intention is whereas I'm looking at it from the mom's perspective. It's less creepy that mom is letting a 4 year old gobble on her tit... I mean, he can't drink from a sippy-cup? What is the advantage of her 4 year old sucking on her chest?


I'm totally with you that it's a little creepy that a kid that old is breastfeeding.

I just think it's worse if she had him sucking on it when he's not breastfeeding. There's only one thing that either of them would get out of him doing that when she's not lactating, and it has nothing to do with food.
 
2012-05-10 10:27:38 PM  
img851.imageshack.us

The kid looks like: "Yeah, I know you want this."
 
2012-05-10 10:27:57 PM  

Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: Uh... yea. Your two year old didn't wear diapers?

Of course they did. I'm saying that potty training problems are not generally oriented around their physical ability to control. A kid that age doesn't get to choose when it eats, sleeps, reads, watches TV, plays, or anything. The only thing a child has absolute timing control over is when they eliminate and get mom or dad over to change their diaper. That's not a bad thing.

When I see a three and a half or four year old child that won't use the toilet, frequently it's as much about getting mom or dad to do something at the child's demand as it is anything else.


I'm not really understanding what this has to do with the kid manipulating the parent. What is the manipulation, exactly? They are manipulating the parent to rush to put them on the potty? That seems like exactly what the parent would want to do anyway, so I'm not sure how that is being manipulated.
 
2012-05-10 10:32:40 PM  

theknuckler_33: I'm not really understanding what this has to do with the kid manipulating the parent. What is the manipulation, exactly? They are manipulating the parent to rush to put them on the potty? That seems like exactly what the parent would want to do anyway, so I'm not sure how that is being manipulated.


1. "I'm not doing what you want me to do. I control this activity - you don't."
2. "I can make you drop what you're doing and take care of this shiat."
3. "I know damned well that the teachers in this pre-school won't change my pull-up, so I'm gonna take a shiat and get you out here posthaste."
 
2012-05-10 10:33:03 PM  

theknuckler_33:
I don't remember agreeing and disagreeing with someone so much before.


It's one of my gifts.
There are just too many problems facing the planet that are worsened (if not directly caused) by humanity's extreme population growth.
I feel so strongly about it that I have to be the douche that brings it up in these threads. ^_^
 
2012-05-10 10:33:45 PM  

Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: So, my two year old was manipulating me into keeping them in diapers. That is your assertion?

Look, you asked me for examples of how a child might use diapers to manipulate their parents. Now all of a sudden I'm accusing your child of being manipulative. You sound like one of these ridiculous, hyper-sensitive, intolerant helicopter moms. For the record, I said that a 2 year old has the muscular ability to control elimination (unless there's a medical problem). That doesn't mean s/he's ready to potty train.

The example I provide you is a child (not a toddler) who's unafraid of the toilet yet refuses to use it, it's as likely to be a ploy to control the timing of parental attention as it is anything else.


First of all, I'm not trying to be combative. I'm just trying to have a conversation, ok?

Second, what you said was: Really? I've seen kids use the potty to manipulate their parents in a very rational manner.

I'm just asking for a real-world example of a diaper wearing kid using the potty to manipulate their parents. That's all.
 
2012-05-10 10:36:36 PM  

Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: I'm not really understanding what this has to do with the kid manipulating the parent. What is the manipulation, exactly? They are manipulating the parent to rush to put them on the potty? That seems like exactly what the parent would want to do anyway, so I'm not sure how that is being manipulated.

1. "I'm not doing what you want me to do. I control this activity - you don't."
2. "I can make you drop what you're doing and take care of this shiat."
3. "I know damned well that the teachers in this pre-school won't change my pull-up, so I'm gonna take a shiat and get you out here posthaste."


Although it's clear to me that this applies to children who are 4 and older, I figure I need to write the age explicitly.

Of course, in addition to the 3 above, there's always the old standby:
4. "I don't feel like stopping what I'm doing right now because it's fun. Mom or Dad will clean it up."
 
2012-05-10 10:39:57 PM  

Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: I'm not really understanding what this has to do with the kid manipulating the parent. What is the manipulation, exactly? They are manipulating the parent to rush to put them on the potty? That seems like exactly what the parent would want to do anyway, so I'm not sure how that is being manipulated.

1. "I'm not doing what you want me to do. I control this activity - you don't."
2. "I can make you drop what you're doing and take care of this shiat."
3. "I know damned well that the teachers in this pre-school won't change my pull-up, so I'm gonna take a shiat and get you out here posthaste."


OK. I see where you are coming from, but those quotes are a significantly impressive achievement for a 2 year old. The idea that they are making a mindful decision along those lines is a pretty significant stretch. I mean, they need a diaper because they can't conceive of going to the toilet, but you are giving them credit for apparently choosing to shiat in their diaper in order to show you how they can make you change their diaper. Sorry, not buying that. I'm really not trying to be a dick, but I can't go along with that line of thinking.
 
2012-05-10 10:41:41 PM  

Babwa Wawa: Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: I'm not really understanding what this has to do with the kid manipulating the parent. What is the manipulation, exactly? They are manipulating the parent to rush to put them on the potty? That seems like exactly what the parent would want to do anyway, so I'm not sure how that is being manipulated.

1. "I'm not doing what you want me to do. I control this activity - you don't."
2. "I can make you drop what you're doing and take care of this shiat."
3. "I know damned well that the teachers in this pre-school won't change my pull-up, so I'm gonna take a shiat and get you out here posthaste."

Although it's clear to me that this applies to children who are 4 and older


Sorry, I assumed most 4 and older kids were done potty training.
 
2012-05-10 10:42:33 PM  

theknuckler_33: HotWingAgenda: theknuckler_33: First of all, the kid is supposedly 4, not 3. And even if he IS 'feeding', does that somehow make it less creepy beyond all fark?

My bad. He still looks closer to 6 or 7 to me. And honestly, yes, it would make it less skeevy. If he's actually getting a light snack from there, versus just sucking on some nip for fun? WAY less creepy. Still bad, but not as bad as it appears to be.

Seems like you are looking at the creepy factor from what the kid's intention is whereas I'm looking at it from the mom's perspective. It's less creepy that mom is letting a 4 year old gobble on her tit... I mean, he can't drink from a sippy-cup? What is the advantage of her 4 year old sucking on her chest?


That's an excellent point, actually.

My guess is that this is a woman who, quite frankly, has no real LIFE outside of being a mom. Before she had kids, she was probably one of those highly driven, Type A personalities. She was probably a perfectionist, is relatively well-educated (bachelor's or higher), and is now a stay-at-home mom with an upper-middle-class (or upper-class) husband. She's the type of woman who can't stand to do anything "good enough" and is highly competitive. If she's going to devote her life to child-rearing, she's going to be the BEST. And the truth is, that's not all that unusual. We train girls from an early age to be competitive, ambitious, and driven because that's what it takes to succeed in the business world. Then when their biological clocks start ticking, they turn ALL of that onto being mothers. They all manifest in different ways, but we've all seen the women who:

*Go completely overboard with trying to protect their little snowflakes from EVERYTHING. They usually direct their anxiety into some form of Munchausen-by-proxy, imagining that every little cold is a sign that their child is dying of some obscure tropical disease. These usually tend to be mothers of only children, often due to fertility issues because they waited until late in life to have their first child and were only able to have their child through fertility treatments or other extreme measures. They tend to have a martyr complex and be extremely self-centered, despite their protestations that it's "all for the children!"

*Have a TON of children under the assumption that quantity somehow trumps quality. For the record, I am NOT talking about "Quiverfull" families here (because they're doing that out of religious obligation) nor about your garden-variety large families. The ones I'm talking about tend to be the ones that will use fertility treatments and/or adoptions to build a family of 6+ children, usually by having multiples or adopting sibling groups. Some of these women just generally love children, but in a lot of cases, this becomes a form of competitiveness. And some Quiverfull women are guilty of this, too, but it seems to be more common in women who grow their family by multiple members at a time than by those who simply have more children because of the natural process of life. There's a difference between having 5 children in 10-14 years (which is about the biological norm) and having 5 children in 2 years because you had a set of IVF twins followed by a set of IVF triplets.

*Do everything "better" than those around them. These women tend to be more perfectionists than anything else. These are the ones who will breastfeed for 6 years, co-sleep for 10 years, etc. I have noticed that these perfectionists tend to have more than 1 child but less than 3. Frankly, if you have more than 3, it's very hard to stick with "perfection". These are the ones who will say things like, "Don't you want the best for your baby?"

*Push their little Einsteins to be successful at an early age. These moms shove their own ambitions onto their children. Advanced preschools, private schools, Mommy & Me lessons, etc. These are the moms who tend to be wealthy and have the resources to ensure that their kids are "intellectually stimulated" from before they're born. It's rare for these moms to have more than 1 or 2, and these are the moms who tend to be super skinny themselves.

*Going in the other direction, a mom who tries to let her child be "free". These tend to be the hippy moms, but with a very, very specific twist on things. These moms are NOT negligent - far from it, in fact! They act a lot like the Munchausen moms in that they have a martyr complex, but their self-centeredness manifests more as a persecution complex than as overt attention-mongering. These women will tend to have 3-4 children (usually), be very into natural health, midwifery, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, etc. The "granola" mom or the "crunchy" mom... The fact is that it is NOT easy to raise children with a hippy mindset. You wind up with children you can't take anywhere because they've never been disciplined or taught how to behave properly in public. Frankly, they're a PITA to be around, so it plays into Mommy's martyr complex.

The point is that the psychological issues underpinning this behavior aren't all that unusual. The truth is that I'm guilty of a few of these issues myself on occasion, although I do try to keep a more practical perspective on things. But while it may show up differently in different women, the attitudes of total submission to one's children paired with the cultivated values of competitiveness, perfection, and ambition cause a LOT of problems in women.

/Read "The Mommy Myth" by Susan Douglas and "Perfect Madness" by Judith Warner
 
2012-05-10 10:43:54 PM  

HotWingAgenda: Here's my issue: that picture really is the mom, and her supposedly 3 year-old son. He actually looks several years older than that, though. It's obviously a posed photo of them, which prompts the question, was he actually feeding and needed to feed? Or did she just whip em out and ask the kid to pretend to be drinking?

Because if he's just playing with it in his mouth, that is creepy beyond all fark.


It's a photo shoot for a major magazine. There were lots and lots of pictures taken. "Open your eyes a bit bigger, Timmy. Suck on Mommy's breast a bit harder. No, not that hard, it hollows out your cheeks too much. Mom, you look a little too angry. No, now you look a bit too ecstatic. Okay, keep sucking Timmy. Keep sucking!"

I think I just made myself queasy.
 
2012-05-10 10:49:02 PM  

theknuckler_33: OK. I see where you are coming from, but those quotes are a significantly impressive achievement for a 2 year old. The idea that they are making a mindful decision along those lines is a pretty significant stretch. I mean, they need a diaper because they can't conceive of going to the toilet, but you are giving them credit for apparently choosing to shiat in their diaper in order to show you how they can make you change their diaper. Sorry, not buying that. I'm really not trying to be a dick, but I can't go along with that line of thinking.


I've written - several times now - that this does not apply to toddlers.

A three and a half or four year old is fully capable of noticing and acting on the knowledge that parents show up at pre-school when someone shiats their pants. And I've personally seen that stunt pulled when a child doesn't want to be at pre-school. A kid in pull-ups would have no accidents in the four days a week he didn't have school, but on those three days he was clockwork within the hour of school starting.
 
2012-05-10 10:49:43 PM  

morgantx: theknuckler_33: Seems like you are looking at the creepy factor from what the kid's intention is whereas I'm looking at it from the mom's perspective. It's less creepy that mom is letting a 4 year old gobble on her tit... I mean, he can't drink from a sippy-cup? What is the advantage of her 4 year old sucking on her chest?

That's an excellent point, actually.

WallofText


tl;dr

Sorry man...I'm not interested in looking deeper into it than that a mom breastfeeding a 4 and 5 year old is completely farked up.
 
2012-05-10 10:50:27 PM  

theknuckler_33: Babwa Wawa: theknuckler_33: I'm not really understanding what this has to do with the kid manipulating the parent. What is the manipulation, exactly? They are manipulating the parent to rush to put them on the potty? That seems like exactly what the parent would want to do anyway, so I'm not sure how that is being manipulated.

1. "I'm not doing what you want me to do. I control this activity - you don't."
2. "I can make you drop what you're doing and take care of this shiat."
3. "I know damned well that the teachers in this pre-school won't change my pull-up, so I'm gonna take a shiat and get you out here posthaste."

OK. I see where you are coming from, but those quotes are a significantly impressive achievement for a 2 year old. The idea that they are making a mindful decision along those lines is a pretty significant stretch. I mean, they need a diaper because they can't conceive of going to the toilet, but you are giving them credit for apparently choosing to shiat in their diaper in order to show you how they can make you change their diaper. Sorry, not buying that. I'm really not trying to be a dick, but I can't go along with that line of thinking.


Yeah, I've got to agree unfortunately.

I have a 2-year-old and from the time he was about 18 months, he developed a habit of throwing a sippy cup, pacifier, or toy when he wanted to get out of my lap. I accidentally trained him to do it, though. See, when he would get mad and throw something when I had him in my lap at home, I'd put him on the floor and say something like, "You threw it. You pick it up." So what would happen is that he would be in my lap and WANTING to get down, but I couldn't put him down. Maybe we were in a parking lot or a waiting room and I didn't want to have to chase him. Whatever. The point is that when he would try to get down and I wouldn't let him, he would throw whatever little toy was in his hand. He THOUGHT that I would then put him down and let him get it himself. That's the type of manipulative thinking that a toddler can easily engage in.

Look at #3 as an example... I doubt the kid is really thinking that clearly. But what he IS thinking is, "If I go poop in my pull-up, I'll get to see Mommy or Daddy." The kid doesn't know WHY that works - he only knows that when he poops in his underwear, Mommy or Daddy shows up early to see him in the middle of the day at daycare. And even a child as young as 2 or 3 can figure that one out.

Is it manipulative? I guess so. Really, it's just a conditioned response, but it kind of serves the same purpose. If seeing Mommy or Daddy in the middle of the day is a big treat, then having Mommy or Daddy show up with a change of clothes is reinforcing the toileting accidents.
 
2012-05-10 10:52:19 PM  

theknuckler_33: Sorry, I assumed most 4 and older kids were done potty training.


{sigh}. That's the f*cking point, dude. A child who won't potty train after a reasonable age is likely to be either afraid of something, or straight up manipulating his/her parents.
 
2012-05-10 10:57:07 PM  

theknuckler_33: 9beers: theknuckler_33: The adoption thing has nothing to do with it.
The fact that she started breastfeeding a 3 year old most certainly has something to do with it. It's one thing to adopt an infant and start breast feeding, it's farking disgusting to do it with a 3 year old.
I guess my point was that breastfeeding a 3 year old is farking disgusting, period. The fact that she started that practice at the time she adopted the kid... at 3 years old... didn't make is less disgusting to me. Why is she breastfeeding a 3 year old at all!


Because the kid came from some traumatic background, and she thought it would be a comfort for him. Would you guys calm down? I'm starting to think 9beers really is a racist.
 
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